Transcript by rabbit_01
Keep 'er steady, Willy!
Bastard's driving like a bloody madman.
Beast of a storm brewing up out there.
Perhaps a sign of God's distaste at the injustice being served here.
An innocent man shouldn't be subjected to this cruelty.
If I here one more word about you being a so called 'innocent man',
young Mr Whittock, I'll shove this pipe so far up your back crack
you'll burn your bastard tongue chewing me 'baccy.
Innocent! How do you figure that?
You admit to murdering the bugger,
they caught you in the act, Mr Whittock.
I never said I killed a man.
I said I killed a monster.
That transformed into a man after he was deceased.
Yes!
Yes, yes. Very convenient, this monster of yours
appeared as a man to everybody else.
Just in time for the Lord and Lady
to discover you'd decapitated their youngest and most beloved nephew.
The thing was going to tear me limb from limb,
I had no choice.
That boy was a bloody pansy.
But he wasn't a boy when I killed him.
I don't know how to explain it, but I know what I saw.
What else do you suggest gifted me this vile injury?
Rambunctious lover, no doubt.
A woman, did this to me?
I've had far worse done to me in the throes of passion.
Almost lost me left bollock during a vigorous affair with Druscilla Douglas.
God rest her soul.
Went blind with syphilis a month later, and fell down a wishing well.
She'd have to be pretty giant with the claws of a lioness to do this.
Well, you're an ugly git, Whittock, and no doubt she was a bit of a gargoyle.
We'll see what the judge has to say.
Judge Thaddeus is a cruel and impatient man.
He shan't be doing with your whingeing lies.
I have all the papers signed by all the witnesses.
Tomorrow morning, you'll hang.
And I'll be glad of the peace and quiet.
Me too.
From this wicked world.
Why the devil have we stopped?
- Willy! - The horses are spooked, counsellor.
They won't go on.
Well, whip the bastards until they're unspooked,
or I'll be forced to come up there and give you a whipping meself.
I've got a court appearance to attend tomorrow.
The storm is getting worse, sir.
We must seek shelter for the night.
Let's continue at dawn, when it's safer.
There's nowhere to stay, Willy.
I know these woods, sir. There's an old inn, not far.
We turn off here.
Better to get there before dark, sir.
Folks have been known to go missing, whole groups of 'em.
Oh, very well.
Onwards!
No funny business from you. You understand?
Thankyou.
Best kept in a safe place, don't you think?
Jesus! You're a welcoming fellow.
My name is Parish Councillor Horrace Raycraft.
This here is my coachman, Willie Ryder,
and this snivelling delinquent
is a criminal I'm escorting for his court trial.
The storm's preventing us travelling any further tonight,
so we was hoping you could give us accommodation.
Three rooms, is it?
Just the two. This one stays with me.
I can't sleep chained to you, you smelly old bastard.
Please stop doing that.
What's his crime?
Murder.
Self defence.
Tomorrow, he'll be executed.
Until then, he's my responsibility.
I suppose you want to come into the warm.
Wipe your boots on the way in.
Jesus, Willie. Look at this wallpaper.
I've left patterns in me chamber pot less grotesque than this.
Open a window every once in a while, do you old chap?
Let the odour escape.
Aha! Unexpected guests.
I'm Martha Hogwood. Welcome to The Three Claws.
Horrace Raycraft. And this here is my coachman, Willie Ryder.
Willie Ryder?
Why, yes. He's the finest in the County.
Pleasure, gentlemen. Now don't let brother scare you off, will you.
He's a little mentally impaired.
Hadn't gone unnoticed.
Vincent and I manage the inn together.
It's been our family business for generations.
And a very fine establishment it is too, Miss Warthog.
- Hogwood. - Precisely.
Well, I'll show you up to our guest rooms if you'd care to follow.
Oh, Vincent. You'll take care of their horses, won't you?
The horses. Yes.
Put 'em in the stable out back.
I can do that, madam.
No, no. It's no trouble. Vincent can manage.
Come on up.
You haven't seen a young lady on your travels, have you anywhere, gentlemen?
One of our guests left this morning, without settling her debt.
Haven't passed a soul I'm afraid, madam.
I'm afraid we're almost full tonight, but you're in luck.
Just the two rooms for us.
This murdering scoundrel stays with me.
Murdering?
It's incredibly brave of you to keep youself attached
to a potentially violent criminal, Mr Raycraft.
Call me Horrace, please.
One must be very courageous in this profession,
protecting vulnerable ladies, such as yourself
from the many vulgar miscreants of society.
I'd be worried he'd sever my arm from body, and escape.
What's that?
Wouldn't be difficult. Dislocate the hand, from the wrist,
in the night, while you were sleeping.
Here. Perfect lodgings, for your coachman.
I'm afraid the bed's a tad lumpy
since our last guest, Lady Stillinfleet
died in her sleep of a perforated bowel.
Thankyou madam.
We have the Reverend Pankhust of Hilperton staying just across the hall.
Oh yes. We're very particular about our guests here at The Three Claws.
Oh, Millie!
Ola here, Miss Hogwood.
Shut the peasant door, ya daft wench.
Oh, Jesus Christ!
You've got mess all over the bed sheets.
Minnie is our resident Lady of the Evening.
Available to our guests at just two pounds a night.
Minnie, this is Mr Raycraft.
Parish Councillor Raycraft.
You like what you see, Councillor?
I'll admit, I got more than a slight tingle in me nether giblets.
Maybe Minnie can give you some relief, later tonight, no?
Please don't.
I'm sure that can be arranged.
This is your room, at the end of the hallway.
Here. Take this. Hide it with the rest.
Victoria hasn't returned.
She's not coming back. Something must have happened.
God help her. She'll never make it back now.
There are bad things in the woods, Jane. We should have gone with them.
So what am I to do? I can't go out there!
You promised to leave before the blood moon. It's almost dark.
I can't, Minnie.
The're three clouds. We'll not be safe tonight.
They've planned to have the inn filled with guests,
on the night of the blood moon.
as if their lives depended on it.
Whatever they're up to, I know it can't be good.
The new guests! They brought transportation.
You could help me steal it!
He's the Parish Councillor. You will be arrested for thievery.
If I'm to believe what you say, perhaps I've no other choice.
Believe me Jane.
For his sake.
Have they been dealt with?
Under shelter for now.
He's the Parish Councillor, Martha.
They're expecting him in court tomorrow.
He's not some low-life people easily forget.
What do you suggest we do then, brother? We cannot break our pact.
They'll come looking for him.
The inn must be full.
These fools are a gift from the storm.
Wheel their carriage into a ditch, and burn it.
Make it look like they've steered off the road.
Nobody will suspect us.
And the horses?
Perhaps they'll serve as an appetizer.
Jane! Quickly!
A night with the girls!
Bring in the girls!
What madness is this?
Get out of my face, you filthy drunken pig!
You grumpy git, you!
Cheer up. Have a drink. Get settled in for the storm.
- Ahh, she's a brutal bitch. - And a blood moon to go with her.
All the devil's ingredients
for an evening of sinister and supernatural happenings.
Pour youself summat strong boys,
and pray we make it through 'til morning.
I'll be surprised if he makes it through the next ten minutes.
So, wrinkles. You got a name?
Horrace.
Horrace, the hideous!
I'm Bernard Bagley.
And this is the Reverent Gerbert Pankhurst.
Aye. Of Hilperton.
And what about your attachment?
Archibald Whittock.
Charged with murder.
Tomorrow, he'll be sentenced, to death.
Then you should drink, boy. Celebrate your last night of living.
Do you always get this drunk, Mr Bagley?
I have to, on a night like these, son.
Calms me nerves.
Frightened of a little storm, are ye?
It's not the storm that frightens me. It's what's out there.
In them woods.
You don't know where you are.
Do ye lad?
This is Grittleton Marsh.
And there are legends, of Grittleton Marsh.
It's ancient woodlands which spread for miles.
And the wicked beasts who dwell within.
Seen one, I did. When I was just a short lad.
Out of my left eye, it was the last thing it ever saw.
They're out there. Wolves like you ain't never seen.
Tall as men, and strong as giants.
Wolves, you say?
Not just any wolves. Foul beasts crawled up from the gizzards of hell.
What a load of superstitious codswallop!
I said I seen 'em, sir!
Through the bottom of a bottle.
There may well be wolves in these parts, but not as you describe 'em.
The only thing dangerous within fifty miles is this murdering ratbag.
And I've got him under my guardianship.
Then here's to you, brave sir.
Sleep tight, Councillor.
Sweet dreams, Councillor.
Sleep tight, Councillor.
The Councillor wants to see you in his room tonight.
I've already taken payment.
Ah ah! You'll get your half tomorrow.
Now make sure you wear him out.
I need every man in this inn sleeping like the dead.
But it's so late Miss Hogwood. Maybe jenger now.
Don't forget who's keeping a roof above your head,
you ungrateful gutter whore.
Now do as you're told!
The only reason why men come to this pig pen
is to spend a night with me!
So perhaps, it is I keeping a roof over your head.
You know tonight's a special night, Minnie.
We pay you well to draw 'em in, do we not?
Was that not the arrangement?
Everything must go according to plan.
Otherwise you will not like the repercussions.
D'you gon scare me.
It's not me you need to be afraid of.
Go on, luvvy. Like you mean it!
Yeah. Yeah! Yeah! That's the spot, darlin'!
That's it! Ohh!
Jesus! Ohh!
Yeah!
Ooh! Yeah!
Ooh! God! Yes!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yes! Yes! Ooh!
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Stop your moanin' and go to sleep.
You rusted me saw.
It's hardly getting through the bone.
Well, you could've put your back into it.
I am woman. I am.
Pass me the head.
Don't let it drip everywhere. You're gonna stain the furniture.
What's that noise?
Somebody's there!
Lord, look upon me with eyes of mercy,
may your mighty power flow into every inch of my body,
and into the depths of my soul.
Guide me, and give me strength to make it through this dark night.
Somebody's awake.
Did they see us?
Ahh, Miss Hogsbottom.
Absorb me in your pillowy bosom.
Mr Raycraft! Mr Raycraft! Wake up!
Arr! Snuck in for a ride on old horny Horrace,
have you, you saucy minx!
Jesus wept! Your breath stinks like piss!
Please, Mr Raycraft, listen. It's the innkeepers.
They've killed Willie. Butchered him!
Butchered?
They intend to murder us all. I heard it.
They're chopping the guests into pieces.
What the bloody hell!
Was you known rascal. You're trying to escape!
No! I mean, yes, I was, but...
Right. That does it.
Woah. You dirty little bastard!
It wasn't altogether pleasant for either of us.
I warned you!
Now shut-up old man, and listen.
Now calm down.
I saw with my own eyes, those incubus dismembering your coachman.
And plotting aloud to do the same to us.
Poppycock!
Go and see for yourself.
I am not lying, sir.
Dismembered, you say?
And you, came back to warn me, did you?
It's an unlikely story.
Just because it's an unlikely story doesn't mean it isn't the truth.
Promise to believe me, or I'll go ahead and prevent your suffering.
It is the merciful thing to do.
Woah, woah, woah, woah. Hold your giblets.
Just, pass me the gun, lad.
We'll go and see if Willie really has been murdered.
Fine.
But I'm keeping the gun.
Oh, you bugger!
Vincent, what'd you do with the head?
I thought you had it.
I told you to chuck it in after the legs.
Aargh!
Shh!
Did you hear something, brother?
Upstairs.
Was there something you needed, Mr Raycraft?
Miss Hogwood.
I'm placing you, and your brother,
under arrest for... for murder.
And I must insist that you come peacefully with me.,
to the magistrate's court
immediately, or I'll have no choice
or I'll have no choice but to use... deadly force!
And how do you plan to take us away, Mr Raycraft?
We've butchered your horses,
murdered your coachman,
and there's no getting away from this recluse
tonight nor any night!
The gun, Archie!
Quickly man!
Jesus, woman. You could have had my bloody head off with this.
Get off me!
You fucking mad wench. Get off!
Shoot her Archie!
Get this mad bitch off me!
No! Her!
Sorry!
Come here, sweetness.
We're dismembering the guests.
What's all this bastardin' racket?
I'm totally shagged, and I've barely had an hour of me beauty sleep.
Fine.
Be as loud as you want.
But I'm leavin' this stinkhole first thing in the morning.
Archie!
Archie! Where's me pistol?
Help me untie these knots!
Sorry, lad.
Thank you.
I'm sure I'll think of some way you can repay me.
Actually, I've got something specific in mind,
which involves all three of us, and
they ropes may come in useful.
Get out of the way.
- Horrace! - Huh?
Reload!
Hurry up, man!
She's stressing me arms!
Vincent Hogwood,
I am placing you under arrest.
Archie! Tie him up!
What'd I miss?
These two scoundrels
thought they could get away, with murderin'
every last one of us
in our sleep.
For what reason exactly,
I only shudder to imagine.
Luckily, I saw through their dastardly scheme,
almost the minute I stepped through the doors of this unholy hovel.
All evening I lay in wait to outsmart this foolish pair,
and when I heard a disturbance in the night,
I did what I had to.
I saved every single one of us
from certain death.
You didn't save your coachman, though.
That done chopped him up into pieces.
Aye. Chopped to pieces.
Well. Yes. I had to confirm me theory was correct.
But now you've got no coachman.
Alright Windy Wallets. Let's not interrupt.
You owe me your lives, that's what matters.
You're all gonna die, Councillor.
A far more grisly and petrifying death
than what my sister and I would've granted you.
You don't know what you've done.
You do not frighten us, Mr Hogface.
It's not me you need to fear.
All our lives, my sister and I
have kept an agreement,
an agreement with the vicious beasties of these woods.
Unlike any creature
you've ever seen or heard of, Councillor.
Half man, half wolf.
All bloodthirsty rage.
For generations we've kept a pact
that's protected us.
A truce between man and monster.
What sort of pact?
Every blood moon, when the inn is full,
we make an offering.
All the guests of The Three Claws,
all the low-lifes and drunkards,
hiding from their damnable pasts.
They all die at our hands.
Till the next blood moon, the beasts leave us in peace.
Well, how often's a blood moon?
- Well, every four years. - Six, seven months.
It's a small price to pay
for a life free of fear or dread
of being disembowelled by their claws
or devoured by their teeth.
Well, we have Willie. We have your sister.
There's an offering.
It's not enough.
Six bodies for three beasts.
That's the deal.
There's three of these savages?
And you'd better not let them go hungry.
Well, there's you. That takes it up to three.
They'll come here with a vengeance.
Well, perhaps it's all just deluded superstition, Mr Hogwood.
You and your sister are a truly demented duo.
Perhaps there's no other explanation for your bloodlust.
What if he's telling the truth, Horrace? What if they are out there?
I've seen 'em. They exist!
Then we send an offering, like he says. And pray it will suffice.
Fine.
You can chop her into bits, and we'll make the bloody offering.
Do it, man!
Not me own sister, Councillor. Please.
Do as he says, Vincent.
I'm sorry, Martha.
Ewww.
Thank God you found us, sir.
We couldn't have left the rest of you.
Here.
This might sting.
Sorry. Sorry.
It's alright. It's alright.
Thank you.
For taking care of me.
It's the least I could do, sir.
Archie. Whittock.
- Jane. - It's a pleasure.
What are they going to do to him down there?
I'm not sure. Arrest him?
They should kill him.
Like he killed those horses.
- What? - There's no way of escaping here.
We will have to wait until morning.
And head out on foot.
Where're you heading off to?
She's on the run.
From who?
If you don't mind my asking.
My parents.
Those who know me back home.
Archie... if I show you something,
would you promise to keep it a secret?
- Jane, no! - I can trust him, Minnie.
Perhaps he can help us.
You have my word.
My God. It's yours!
He is. His name's Edgar.
Well, what's he doing in the bloody wardrobe?
Hiding. No inn would have me.
Not with Edgar.
And I can't risk anyone finding us.
Or follow us.
Where's his father?
There's no father.
Just a cruel man from a cruel night.
Men!
I never asked for this child, Archie.
Now that I have him,
nobody's gonna come between us.
He's all I have.
Shh shh shh. It's alright.
It's alright, mummy's here.
Shh shh shh. It's alright.
Please forgive me, O mighty beast,
for this is all I could bring, O ancient one.
The inn is full as you commanded,
but these guests are not so easy to kill.
I am old, master.
And we have served you for many years.
But I can't deliver on our promise.
Go! Feast on them!
Take our inn for yourselves.
But I beg of you. Spare me!
Please, spare me!
Have mercy, master!
Have mercy, God!
I don't think he's comin' back.
Be that you, Mr Hogwood?
Did they accept me offerin'?
Oh, that'll be a 'no', I reckon.
Run, men!
We meet again! Bastard hound of Satan!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Oh. Oh, bugger that!
More over the hearth!
It's not going to hold!
Take cover lads!
What was that?
You stay here. I'll go and look.
No. I'll go.
Hide the baby!
I think I just shat my pants!
Millie?
Don't... make... a sound.
Hide!
What is it, Millie?
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Shoot it, Horrace!
Get away from me, you ugly son of a bitch!
Oh, no no no! Not my eye!
Oh. Oh, God. No! My eye!
Bernard!
Oh, Bernard!
It's too late. He's gone.
Help me! I'm still alive!
Well... There's nothing we can do for him now.
Aye. God rest his soul.
Somebody come and shoot the bloody thing!
Don't!
It'll be suicide.
Eat me! Come and eat me!
It's alright. We're safe in here.
Archie, no!
No!
Archie!
Now we're safe.
What happened to you?
Don't... ask.
What devilry is this?
Seems Bernard's tall tales were true after all.
These were once men.
There's two dead. One's still out there.
No doubt it'll be back to finish the job.
And we'll be ready.
Aye.
Barricade all the doors and windows.
If we can make it just one more hour 'till sunrise,
'till the blood moon sets,
then we may survive.
Minnie?
Oh God.
She's gone.
You did what you could, lad.
Jane. Oh my God, Jane!
Jane.
It's alright. We're alright.
Thank God.
Where's Minnie?
No.
It got her.
What the hell is that?
You can't bring a baby into a place like this.
Are you mad, woman?
I didn't know we'd be set upon by flesh hungry wolf monsters.
Werewolves.
That's what they are.
Men who turn to beasts under the spell of the moon.
That is exactly what I killed back in Eddington.
Now do you believe me.
We need your help lad.
We need to barricade the place. They'll be back for us.
Will you be alright?
Yes. Go.
Shout, if you need me.
Thank you, Archie.
♪ As I was out walking ♪
♪ one morning in May ♪
♪ to hear the sweet birds sing ♪
♪ aloud from the spray ♪
♪ I heard a young damsel, ♪
♪ so sweetly sang she ♪
♪ 'Down by the Green Bushes ♪
♪ to chance to meet me' ♪
♪ I stepped up to her and ♪
♪ thus I did say ♪
♪ Why wait you my fair one ♪
♪ so long by the way ♪
♪ I'll buy you fine beavers ♪
♪ and a fine silken gown ♪
♪ I'll buy you fine petticoats ♪
♪ with the flounce to the ground ♪
♪ If you will prove loyal ♪
♪ and constant to me ♪
♪ and forsake your one true love ♪
♪ I'll be married to thee ♪
Angus!
No!
No! Don't listen, man.
Let me in!
It's just the walls talking to you again.
Let... me... in.
Bernard?
Horrace! It's Bernard.
He's alive!
He can't be.
What's happening to him?
Oh, God!
He's turning!
He's become one of them!
Minnie.
Oh no. Jane's alone up there!
Reverend. Guard the entrance.
Bernard! It's me, Gilbert.
You cannae remember Gilbert!
Have you come back for your rum?
You drank it all, you daft bastard.
Minnie?
How is she?
Incredibly hairy.
Oh. That don't sound like Minnie.
Run!
Over here!
In here.
You can hide. They can't reach you in there. It's too small for them.
Archie!
I don't see what choice we have.
Hurry!
Oh my God.
Don't come out 'til both beasts are dead. Go lad!
No! Ah! Oh, no no no no no no no!
If you're lookin' for your arm, you just missed it.
What's that?
I'm not sure. A mouse?
It's a big mouse, Archie.
A rat, then?
It's not a bloody rat!
That'll learn ya!
Bitch! Come on! Die!
And to think I fucked you!
You're still a filthy drunken pig.
It's alright, sweetheart. Mother will be back soon.
Archie!
Thanks.
No! No!
Archie!
Don't you even think about it!
You big hairy bitch!
Archie!
Archie, wake up!
Wake up!
We did it. We got the last one.
It bit me.
No no no. You'll be fine. I'll clean you up.
I can feel it. The bite.
The hunger. Controlling me.
No no no no no.
Don't leave me. Don't leave me!
Don't leave me.
I will strengthen you,
and help you.
I will hold you,
with my righteous right hand.
Archie!
Get back! It's begun.
I'm sorry, lad.
No! Don't!
Look at him! He's been bitten.
He's gonna turn into one of they beasts.
We done what we could.
Step away from him, Councillor.
It happened to Bernard. It happened to Minnie.
He's gonna slaughter us all.
I swear I'm gonna blow your head off if you shoot him.
You'll damn us all!
No, he's right. It's alright, Jane.
I'm turning. I won't be able to stop myself from killing.
And when the sun comes out, see, what then?
You'll change back. You'll be Archie again.
I have no idea.
I have to find out.
I know we haven't known each other long,
but I'm not ready to say goodbye.
Nor I, Jane.
Oh, Christ.
It's happening. Go!
Just don't hurt him!
Just run Jane. We've gotta leave this inn.
Damn ye lad!
Damn ye!
Brent! We need to move.
I'll explain it. Quick!
No! Archie, it's us.
It's me. Jane.
I know you're in there. Somewhere.
Fight it, Archie.
Remember who you are.
That's right, Archie. It's me.
Spirit of Jesus, come upon us.
Fill us with holy anger.
Vent us from all desires that breed violence.
Compell us with the fury of your love,
oh lamb of God.
Let us be.
Oh, Archie!
Jane!
Promise you'll write to me, lad.
Let me know how the two of you are getting on, will you?
The three of us?
Of course we will.
Anything you want, just ask old Horrace.
And on the next blood moon...
You'll lock me in the County Jail.
Just for the night, lad.
That should give those scallywags a bit of a fright.
Oh! And before I forget...
The witness reports and warrant for your arrest.
No hard feelings.
Transcript by rabbit_01