Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
So, we've been professionally trained wedding videographers
for, you know, a good while now.
- I'd say a year. About a year now? - Yeah.
And it hasn't been fun or easy because it's not supposed to.
It's just been... it's been tough.
Because, you know, out of all of the videography
that you can do, and learn, and go to school for, and become great at,
I'd say wedding videography is probably the toughest
to really... really break into, you know.
- Yeah, no doubt, no doubt. - Yeah.
So, obviously, for us, the training, it's everything.
Training is very important.
I mean, there are no second takes at a wedding.
The training is key.
It's the only way we can capture every single moment,
and make sure it's great.
Flynn! Flynn, drunk uncle.
Move through it! Move through it, Flynn! Come on!
Come on, drunk uncle!
- Stop. Watch out for him. - I can't see.
- Watch out. Get the shot in the face. - I got the shot.
Watch, 'cause he's coming at you quick, man.
Watch out for him! See, he's got Vietnam stuff, man!
Yesterday, just like yesterday. Watch your wires. Come on, Flynn.
- So, what are you gonna do? - It's still under control, Augie.
Yeah, we... how would you tie that around your arm, Flynn?
- How did you tie the wire around your arm? - I don't know, I just draped it.
- You're gonna drape wires? - Yeah.
At a wedding, with a bunch of kids?
Everyone's walking around.
A little girl's gonna trip on that wire, and you're gonna hurt her?
You're gonna bust her nose open.
You're gonna break a little girl's nose at a wedding?
Flynn, what is wrong with you?
- Go back. Do a reset back into it. - Reset, position one.
Get your head in it, man. Where are you today?
Through the dinner crowd. Come on, we got a dinner crowd.
Everyone's up. Ravioli, ravioli, ravioli.
Come on, lose me. Everyone's eating.
Come on, double-time... six seconds, six seconds.
Watch out, watch out All right, all right.
Watch out! Old ladies, old ladies.
- Behind you! - Oh! There it is! Oh!
Going back through the people, going in reverse!
Watch out, everybody! Throw it in reverse.
Getting grandma. Oh! Oh!
- Turns off. - Two stories!
- Oh! Yeah! Yeah! - Whoo! Whoo!
- Now that's good right there. Twenty-six. - Whoo!
I like that, man.
That's how you do it, just keep your head in the game.
Yeah, that's the thing.
We usually get paid with what we like to call "vendor food."
It's usually the food they have on set for the workers.
And, you know, usually we just get the scraps, like the leftover stuff,
and, actually, August has been accumulating a lot of this food
for quite some time.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
- It keeps our bellies full, you know? - Yeah.
I mean, with a lot of these places,
we're talking an endless supply of leftover vendor food,
like rigatoni, and meatballs, and pasta sauce,
and rigatoni, and spaghetti sometimes, a lot of bread.
There's rigatoni, rigatoni and sauce,
rigatoni, rigatoni, sometimes there's lasagna,
rigatoni, fish, once there was fish.
Rigatoni, we got rigatoni.
We got...
It's pretty good, so we'll just save it for later.
Did you tell them about the rigatoni?
And for desserts, it's usually cake.
You know, we have a lot of cake...
white, marble, chocolate, marble, white,
marble, white, white, white, white, white...
Again, August, this is like the rigatoni thing.
You can just say, you know, we have white, we have marble.
I know you have it memorized in your head,
but you don't have to list out every piece of cake we have.
Oh.
This is our little door here.
It kind of divides the rooms up,
give us a little bit of privacy, you know?
And this is August's bed.
He's got the big bed.
He likes sleeping in the hammock.
A little fun fact about me:
I... I like to sleep sitting up.
I've always done it since I was a kid.
And just not a real big fan of beds.
And...
we go by a two-bucket system here, okay?
We make sure we got one for our bathroom, one for washing.
And it's easy to be able to tell them to apart.
And it's always good... we go down to the creek,
and we're able to get our leftover waters and take care of it, and...
Oh, wait, I think the rag was in the...
Yeah, the rag was in the right... This is the...
Yeah, this is the bath... aw.
Oh, wait.
You know, it's a garage.
And I'm sure a lot of people are like, "Oh my God,
you're living in a garage," but...
Our subletter/owner, Doris, she lives upstairs,
so some of her stuff is still down here.
Like, what the fuck?
So, what do you think of the Bergeron Brothers?
The Bergeron Brothers?
I get 50 bucks from them a month.
I think a lot of other things.
But I'm not gonna talk about them.
You're following us all around. You'll see.
- The bride! Work on the bride! - You'll s...
Ow! The bride!
See?
All right. All right.
Get through the cones.
Here we go. Ring bearer down!
- Ah! Ah! - Hey, August!
- My nuts! Oh, my nuts! - Oh, my God, are you okay?
You're gonna pop the ring bearer.
Get off it.
- I'm okay. I got the shots. - You popped this.
Oh, I got the shots.
- Hey, what'd you do? - Aw, my scrotum.
Hit your giggles.
Right here, right here.
- Thanks, bro. - Come on.
- Come on. Jesus. - Thank you.
I think one... one of your guys has been spitting.
One of your guys has been spitting on the ground.
- No one's spitting. - They're spinning on the ground.
- I stepped on some spit. - Don't be offensive.
You can't spit on people's property.
- You're being offensive. - Don't spit on property.
These guys are spitting in Doris' yard.
- You're being offensive. - They're spitting on Doris' yard.
You have to learn how to use tact, okay?
- Don't tell me to talk to people. - We have guests here.
- They're doing us a favor. - Don't embarrass me in front of these people.
- Don't talk to me. I'm telling these people. - Don't embarrass me.
These people are going... they're saying every time that I have to film a wedding,
they're gonna come out here and tell me what to do.
- What... - August, don't. Don't!
Come on, you're ruining the trees.
This guy.
I mean, it's like you push him a little bit, okay,
and he just breaks.
And I... he's gotta get used to it.
I gotta break him for real.
So, the decision to become wedding videographers,
it came up actually right after Flynn's wedding, right?
Well, you know, I always kind of had it in my head,
- but it was right around there. - Yeah, yeah.
So, here I am barely making eight bucks an hour,
some dive bar restaurant down the road, okay?
The food that I'm getting out of that place is scraps.
It's just junk that people are sending back from the tables.
We're talking gristle, bones,
you know, spit-up from little baby plates and stuff.
Nothing worth talking about.
In comes this guy one night, crying and drowning in his own tears,
talking about the thousands and thousands of dollars
he wasted on his wedding.
So, mainly because of this wedding videography business...
they're the big guys in town called Perfect Day.
And so, he hires these guys, right?
And they're super professionals, right?
I mean, they were good. Good-looking guys, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, so, so...
I'm thinking if that kind of money is going into this,
and the kind of vendor food you're getting from a wedding on a daily basis,
we're talking mushrooms, pork roast, roast beef,
roasted potatoes,
ice cream, cookies, right?
Like, top-tier stuff.
It's not all about the vendor food, okay?
It's about the bride and the groom
on their special day.
- Just... I can't. - Wait.
No... Hey, Flynn. Wait.
No, hey, hey.
Hey, hey.
I told you, I didn't wanna talk about that.
You said you weren't gonna do this.
Look, I'm not comfortable with this topic right now.
You wanna talk to these guys?
You want them to come here and know our story?
Yeah, well, I didn't wanna talk about that, okay?
The elephant in the room
is that, well, Flynn's wife, Sherri,
she left him for the wedding videographer
that he hired, so...
it's not too cool, but, you know,
that's just life, it's just how it went down.
But he says that all this, and with us becoming
the wedding videographers that we're turning into, it has nothing to do with that.
This isn't some kind of big revenge plot.
This is for the money and the food.
Morning.
Cup of joe.
Let's go and see what the day's gonna bring, right?
Brand-new day.
Flynn!
Ow!
- Ow! - What are you do... What are you guys doing?
- Oh, God! - I've been waiting all day. What are you doing?
Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, August.
Today happens to be a landmark day
for the Bergeron Brothers.
Our ad was featured in the PennySaver.
And we have not one, but two email inquiries.
They say it takes money to make money.
Unless you have a cool cousin who owes you a favor
at the PennySaver.
Okay, uh, Michele Burns is interested, okay.
It's 412-555-9830.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Wh... - What in the hell are you doing?
What?
I'm...
Dude!
Pre-par-ation!
What has this whole year been about, huh?
Preparing.
Yeah, but I... I don't understand.
What do you mean? What's going on?
Um, okay, how about we book Doris upstairs for secretary, huh?
So we sound like a legit company?
Okay, that might work.
What about phone etiquette?
You know anything about that?
Yeah, I've been on a couple of phones, yeah.
How about we write out a script
so we know exactly what to say?
I mean, I know I'm the king of the improv world,
but when it comes to the professional business world,
that's a whole new ball game, Augie.
Okay, okay.
You might be right, okay.
It's okay.
Ever since we were kids,
you've always been this bull-headed guy,
just taking charge of situations,
even though he's not capable of them,
same stupid things just come out of your mouth without thinking.
What have I told you a million times?
You have to stop
and think.
Okay, sure.
- You're right. - It's up here.
It's up here.
It's all about preparing.
Preparation.
- Say it. - Preparation.
Preparation.
You know, I have a lot of really good ideas,
just sometimes, some of my bigger ideas
kind of dive headfirst in the shallow end and snap their necks and die.
But I'd be happy to share some of them with you out of my sketchbook.
So, here we've got the turtle-pod.
And here are my hidden wedding camera ideas.
I was thinking about just attaching cameras
to things like Flynn's dorky glasses
and to wedding bouquets.
And I'm currently working on actual robot women
that we'll attach the cameras to their heads.
Oh, and here's some other ideas I've been working on.
You wouldn't understand it, but some ideas we got going for the future.
That's about it.
Hello, and thank you for calling the Bergeron Brothers.
Your call is important to us,
so, please, stay on the line for the video...
wedding...
tape...
of your...
your wedding tape
that we will make for you.
Stupid.
It's okay, it's okay. We have more tapes.
Just do it again.
You know, a little more heart.
When you're on the phone with these people,
it's always a "yes-no, yes-no" kind of thing.
- You have to be ready for the answers, all right? - Yeah.
- So, if you ever hear a no, you come back with a yes. - Okay.
- Anytime it's yeah, then it's, no. - Okay.
Any nah, or meh, or nah,
you always come back with a yes, yes, yes, all right?
We're talking babies, funerals, weddings, parades.
Yes, yes, yes, no, all right?
- Every time. Ready? - Okay.
- No. - Yes.
- Yeah. - No.
- Yes. - Yes.
- No.
- Eh... - Yes.
- No. - Yes.
- Yeah. - No.
- Baby. - No.
Parade.
Yeah, you know, I've been trying to kick the habit.
You know...
August hates it.
- He keeps trying to get me to quit. - Flynn!
Flynn, you down here?
- You better not be... Are you smoking? - No.
Hey... what is that?
Are you smoking?
If you wanna smoke it, you better be ready to eat it.
In your lungs and in your belly.
You feel like a big guy now?
You feel like a ball player?
You think twice, hmm?
Now I feel kind of bad.
Go.
- It's ringing, it's ringing. - Hello?
- Is this Michele Burns? - This is she.
Please hold for the Bergeron Brothers.
Hello, and thank you for calling the Bergeron Brothers.
Your call is important to us, so, please...
...just stay on the line.
What the heck is going on?
Hello?
Hi, hey! Is this Michele?
This is she.
Uh, we heard maybe you're interested in us doing your wedding.
Yes, we're currently looking for a videographer.
I saw your ad in the PennySaver.
Come on, this is your part, go!
- Hello? - Come on, do it.
Do it, do it!
Say something.
What the heck is going on?
Do it.
Well, Michele, this is August Bergeron with Bergeron Wedding Videography.
Cherish your every moment forever.
We'll make sure we film everything good for you so...
Uh, food... our vendor food.
- Are you gonna have roasted potatoes... - Hang on one second.
Uh, we're gonna put you onto mute.
What in the Sam hell are you doing?
- You are blowing this! - I blanked.
I was thinking about the food.
I can't remember your hack script.
We need people to think we are actually good at this.
You know I can hear you guys, right?
I...
I think she just heard everything.
Hello? Hello?
Hello?
Oh!
Call her back! Call her back!
Now, look guys, you can't call someone over 100 times,
and expect to get a gig.
It's called harassment.
Look, I know, Officer. We're really sorry.
I just thought we had our first gig, that's all.
Well, it's good to be persistent,
though, okay? within the limits of the law, but you gotta stay
Well, by the law, like, how many times are we allowed to call somebody?
- Well, I'm not sure, but it can't be 100. - All right.
- Leave that lady alone, okay? - Yeah, we will, we will.
- Thank you. - Thank you... sir, for serving.
Thank you.
This is on you.
- This is on you! We got a record now. - It's on me?
We got a record. We could've gotten shot today.
You wanna get arrested? Do you wanna get arrested?
I've been married six times.
They all died of freaking natural causes.
Bob was murdered by an ant colony,
Jim died of a helium overdose,
and Martin got stuck and suffocated
in a kiddie tube slide, and so on and so forth.
Nothing surprises me.
Well, what about the other gig?
Yeah, what other gig?
This morning you said there were two emails.
Oh, look. Okay, look, look, look. All right.
Nope! Nope!
That's a bummer. I'm...
- I'm sorry. - On to the next one.
How about, uh...
Yeah, he... he must've seen the ad.
You know it's him.
He's not funny.
I know that.
He's a certified beef hack, for true.
But listen, you said you would never let a stage grudge
get in the way of our dreams again, right?
- Did I said that? - Yeah.
Who's this guy you're talking about?
Hal Magner.
Uh, hello, Bergeron Brothers?
This is Hal Magner.
I'm desperately in need of your videography
for a new cooking show I'm producing.
I happen to have information regarding a wedding
for someone very close to me
who happens to be looking for a wedding videographer.
Give me a ring if you like. Buh-bye.
This psycho comes out swinging an axe,
you guys make sure you record everything, all right?
We need evidence.
- Keep rolling. - All right, go.
- Welcome! - Jesus, Hal! Oh.
My God.
My name is Hal Magner,
and I'm what you would call a Jack of all trades.
I'm an inventor, a poet, a philosopher,
1997 State Jump Rope Champion,
and now an aspiring television chef.
- Ugh. - God, more stairs.
How many freaking stairs you got in this place?
I am so happy that you could make it.
You're full?
Okay, what's the plan here, Hal?
Yeah, let's get this over with.
Oh, patience, boys, patience.
Once we wrap filming, then I will furnish you
with that contact information you so desperately seek.
You better, okay?
What are you, uh, cooking in there today?
Oh, well, for today's video, I had to sit back and think,
what's the one thing in life I can't wait for?
- What? - Oh!
Why, being a grandfather, of course.
- Oh, Jesus. - I'm leaving.
- Wait, Flynn... - Jesus!
- Hello. - Hubert?
What do want?
You know the rules, Hal... no guests are allowed.
Oh. These are the Bergeron Brothers.
They're much more than guests.
They're mine.
- What? - Very well.
But if I'm interrupted just once,
you will unleash the fury of these two fists and legs,
registered lethal weapons.
And I'll tell Mama on you.
Interrupt what?
If you knew, your life would change forever.
So, to the kitchen?
Did we tell anybody we were coming here today?
Ah, now, clearly, I do have some time
before I get to be a grandfather.
I obviously have to meet my wife,
breed, raise that child,
wait for that child to breed,
and then I can begin the most fulfilling years of my life.
What... What's that have to do with the cooking show, Hal?
Will you please allow me
to set up my show, Augustus?
Because everyone with a grandfather knows
the best thing about them is their corny sense of humor.
Jesus Christ. Look, we're rolling in here.
- We're burning tape, so let's go, come on. - Oh, okay.
And so, today I will be preparing
some of America's favorite corn-based dishes...
buttery corn on the cob, corn and tomato pasta salad,
corn hush bake, mustardy grilled corn kabobs,
creamy corn soup, and a vast array
of fresh and delicious recipes
for whenever you're up to your ears in corn.
Come on, let's have some fun.
He's gonna kill me.
Ah! Nice and full.
Just turn that on.
This is just so enjoyable.
It's very therapeutic, you know, just...
oh, just take it, and I just...
Ooh, that cracking, that cracking... mm-hmm-hmm...
...in the bottom.
Mmm! Am I right?
I know I'm right.
Don't worry about getting too much of the core.
That just adds to the flavor.
Oh, yeah. Ah, yeah.
That's... mmm, that's what you want, mm.
Ah! Really just gotta... oh!
Gotta force it in there, you know?
Just gotta...
Finger!
- Oh, my God! - What do we do?
First aid kit! You get the finger, get the finger.
You gotta get it on ice.
- Look, y'all. Where's the first aid kit? - Where's the finger?
What is this? What is this?
You better find it.
The pepper!
What the hell's going on in here?
Flynn, I got it! I got the finger.
Oh, great! Get it on ice.
Ice!
Okay, Hal, uh, let's stick this on there.
Just try to...
You're gonna be okay, buddy.
We're gonna get that finger back on for you.
August, where's the finger at?
Got it.
Okay.
Okay, let's try it.
- Let's do it - Okay.
- Hello? - Is this Michael Magner?
- Please hold on for the Bergeron Brothers. - What?
Hello, and thank you for calling the Bergeron Brothers.
It's me, Flynn Bergeron.
And August.
Hey, hi, hello! This is August Bergeron.
You remember, Doc Stackson High, Class of '01!
- Big Aug! - How did you get this number?
Actually, Mullet, we heard through the grapevine
that you're engaged to be married.
- Congratulations. - Yay!
Thanks. Um...
Hey, did you know that your old high school chums
just happen to run a very successful wedding videography business?
And it just so happens that we were lucky enough
to happen to get in touch with you just in time
for the solid, gold-medal, bronze baby wiper,
the dove creamy, dove package, family, feel,
discount, blow-out, year-end deal.
It's only available for another...
two minutes.
What's the offer?
Wedding... stock price, uh, thing here.
It's hot off the press.
Um... price is...
$19,998.
That's too much.
Okay, hang on.
The stocks just dipped.
We're looking it up right now. It is...
Um...
Wait, hot off the press.
Um, $9,998.42.
Look, guys, I appreciate you calling, but...
But...
we got you laid.
Guys, that was a long time ago.
I already made an appointment for a wedding videographer tomorrow.
Well, who do you hire? Like, who's gonna go...
I bet we'll do way better than them.
Who is it?
A place called Perfect Day Video something.
Per... Perfect Day Enterprises?
- Shit! - I gotta go.
Flynn! Flynn!
Flynn, breathe.
Oh, shit! Breathe!
It's a scorcher.
Oh!
More! Ups!
Flynn! You all right?
Oh, no! You okay?
Are you all right? Are you all right? Are you okay?
It's the glasses, it's the glasses.
You all right? Can you breathe?
Do you see me? Oh, my God!
Breathe, breathe!
You don't... you okay? Breathe!
Cold water is good. Cold water is good.
Okay, okay.
All right, cold water is good.
It's good.
Oh! Oh!
You're okay, okay?
Okay. That's good.
Oh, my God.
You guys get that?
Oh, my God!
You almost flat-lined.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
Did I black out again?
Yeah, you did.
It was only, like, about, like, five minutes.
You think there's any way
we can get Mike Magner on board?
I don't know, man. I don't know.
I mean...
he was acting like we never got his cherry popped in high school, you know?
I bet he wouldn't deny that fact to our faces.
Face-to-face.
- What? - That's it!
What?
- Right here, big old dips. - Big dips, big dips.
Big dips? All right, got it. Good.
- It's Kenny Woods style. Here we are. - Cool.
Is this the main road here?
Brake! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- Okay, pay attention... - Switch out the batteries.
Make sure that you have the right tape.
Pay attention to the road! Brake!
I'm good, okay. I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.
Pedestrian, man checking his mail.
- Do not kill the poor man. - I got the shakes.
I got the shakes real bad.
Oh, I got the sugar shakes.
- Hold on a second. - Oh, Jesus Christ!
- Sorry, guys. Sorry guys. - Sorry, guys. Sorry.
We saved time.
Wait, August, August.
Hey!
August.
And look... under five minutes.
- That's not bad. - Not bad.
- That's not bad. - Nah.
I'm not getting back in. Someone farted in the car,
- I can't breathe in here right now. - Who farted?
I know it's the sound guy.
- Mullet Mike! Mullet Mike! - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Hey, hey! - Hey, hey.
Mullet Mike.
He lost the mullet.
- Looks great, more modern. - Yeah.
Well, what's going on?
Um, I'm Flynn and August Bergeron.
We're the Bergeron Brothers, wedding videographers.
Guys, I thought I made it clear
that we are not interested in your services.
We've been doing this for so long, we know the ins and outs.
We know if you're getting screwed, so just let us come with you.
It'll be of a favor for old friends, right?
- Yeah, like an engagement gift. - No, let's go, Michael.
- Judy Bloomers. - Uh, what did he say?
Did we not hook you up?
Guys, you know, I could've got myself laid in high school, okay?
Pfft, fat chance. With that Mullet, no way.
Uh, what the hell are they talking about?
Look, you know, maybe they're right.
Let them go up there with us. You know, like...
I guess we could use an insider scoop on the business.
Like, I need all the help I can get to save a couple of bucks.
We are only here to help, ma'am.
Let's go, guys.
- Yes, yes! - Yes!
- And now we're even. - Oh, absolutely, absolutely.
August, will you go grab my sneaky bag?
Your what?
- Magner wedding. - Yes, that's us.
- I can take you back now. - Thank you.
And, um, this is our reality TV show crew.
They're gonna be joining us today.
And what reality show is this?
Um, it is called...
Virgin Groomzillas.
Of course it is.
Follow me, please.
God damn it, Keither, if I told you once,
I've told you a million times,
you gotta make the bride look the best!
The best! She looks like shit here.
It's a shitty shot.
I feel like shit as I'm looking at it.
- Don't you? - Not really.
Look, in here, and also here,
saddlebags here, a dumpy ass there.
Fix it, moron!
- I want you to fix it. - I am.
Oh...
Hey, guys. I didn't see you.
You must be the Magner party.
- Yeah, that's us. - Great, great.
Oh, I see you brought the Bergeron Brothers with you.
And a camera crew?
Hey! That's fantastic, that's great.
Hey, how's the wedding videography business going?
'Cause... ooh, I heard about that cooking show you guys did.
- Real blood bath, huh? - It's going great.
- Money. - Great success story.
- Good. - Clients.
Great. That's awesome.
How about I give you guys a quick tour, show you how the pros do it?
When I got into the wedding videography business,
there was one common theme that I noticed missing
from these weddings.
And that was...
good-looking people.
All right, now, I don't want you guys to freak out, okay, but this is it.
This is the studio, the home of our patented
facial replacement and body replacement technology.
Look at this hottie right here.
We can digitally replace your body
and make you look like a supermodel.
Seems unnatural.
Nah.
I think her boobs are real.
And then right over here, guys, we actually have our equipment room.
Whoa, whoa! Hey, knuckleheads, come on.
That's the top secret, private, employees only.
Oh! Danny, Bill.
My favorite two dickheads.
How was the wedding last night?
- Totally awesome. - Awesome.
Spectacular event, truly triumphant.
Rock and roll.
You guys are doing a freaking awesome job.
Keep up the good work.
They're a little too Bill and Ted for me,
but they're actually surprisingly great cinematographers,
and they work for beer.
So, I mean, that's an awesome perk for a crew.
Who doesn't love an awesome photo booth at their wedding?
It's a momentous occasion. Let's get some pictures.
Here, let me show you how it works.
- Uh, don't go on there. - Why?
Sorry, some people had a little too much fun
in the booth last night.
- I haven't had a chance to clean it yet. - Too bad.
Being a wedding vendor is just a way to pay
for my schooling.
I'm studying to be a foreign ambassador.
Hopefully, somewhere nice and warm.
Like Berlin.
Oh, God.
Our newest addition is our catering service.
We've got the best vendor food that money can buy,
top-of-the-line chefs cooking the most exquisite food
that you will ever taste.
little cupcake, Sherri, my delectable
what do we have for these fine folks to sample?
All right, today, we actually have...
Flynn!
What are you doing here?
Well, he's here to check out the competition, hon.
Didn't you know that Flynn was a big wedding videographer guy now?
- No, I actually didn't. - Well, he is.
Spit it out.
Oh, oh. Flynn!
Flynn.
- Flynn, wait! - Oh!
Babe.
Well, let's try out this damn food.
Am I right?
I just forgot how beautiful she was.
- I just froze up in there. I can't explain it. - Flynn!
How are you? Um...
What's all this?
Oh, it's a documentary crew.
Just, um, "documentering"
successful video artists like myself.
That's really cool, Flynn.
I don't wanna talk to you.
Why? It was over a year ago now.
You broke my heart, Sherri, all right?
And now you're working for the guy too?
He gave me some startup money for my catering business and it just...
it made sense to combine the two.
Listen, Chad's a really nice, sweet guy
once you get to know him.
Yeah, Chad Johnson is sweet.
And I'm a famous basketball player for the Chicago Butts.
Flynn, I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, "sorry" isn't good enough, sister.
- I gotta go. - Flynn, wait.
Just leave me alone! Forever!
Flynn!
Dude, what the hell?
Hey, uh, August, that's quite an appetite you got there, buddy.
Yeah, yeah.
I just wanna make sure it's good for you guys.
I'm just sampling the best for the best, you know?
Yeah, okay.
Hey, what do you think of these tarts?
Eh, you know, I'm not really a tarty kind of guy.
Yeah, well, you're not really any kind of guy.
- Can I have a try? - Yeah.
Mmm.
Kinda peachy, moist.
It's not bad.
Try this one.
- What do you think? - Mmm!
That's very good.
- It's... it's not too sweet. - Yeah?
- I like it, mm-hmm. - Good, good.
- Now, try this one. - All right, all right, you creep!
- Come on, dude. - What? What's the matter?
- Is it too much cream? - Yeah, it's all right.
I don't mind a little extra cream with my dessert.
Me either.
So, if you guys don't mind,
can't let any of this go to waste.
Uh, anyone seen Flynn anywhere?
Ugh.
They've always been that way.
All right, thank you.
Mikey, get the prices.
You'll find all of our prize packages in our brochure right here.
Thank you.
Michele Burns?
I'll take you and your fiancé back now.
- Thank you. - Burns.
Burns. Michele Burns, right?
It's me, August.
Of the Bergeron Brothers. You remember?
- Oh, you. - Yeah, yeah. You know what?
I'm sorry we couldn't meet your needs the other day,
but, you know, maybe the next one, we'll get ya.
I don't think you can meet anyone's needs, you psychopath.
Word of advice... stay away from this creep and his freak brother.
Some deals just aren't worth it.
Okay.
Talk about bridezillas, huh?
Oh, look at this shit, August.
There's a comma there, there, and there?
Oh, God.
Well, see you later.
Oh, hey, man.
Are you guys wedding videographers too?
Yeah, yeah, we are.
Do you need a sound editor?
This place sucks, man.
Nah, nah, sorry, dad. We can't afford you, man.
We don't have any money. But I tell you what.
If you can score some more of this vendor food, we can make a deal.
You know, we all went to high school together.
We did?
Holy... holy, crap! Yeah, yeah.
Uh, Keither, Keither Cannon.
Creepy Keither, the goth kid.
- That's me, dude. - Ah, wow, man.
I... I thought your eyes were, like, permanently dilated.
Those were just contacts, bro.
- Cool, okay. - Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, yeah, if you're down, then, yeah, hook us up.
Yeah, sounds good.
You just made the best choice in your life, brother.
If you say so.
Later.
Creepy Cannon.
Unbelievable.
Small world.
Hey, Bergeron. Hey!
What's up, Mullet?
I know I'm gonna regret this, but, um...
you think you guys can do as good a job as these guys can?
Oh, guaranteed, yeah.
'Cause they are a little out of my pay grade here.
Yeah?
How about we'll do it for half?
- Yeah, how about 500 bucks? - Deal.
- All right. - Yeah.
Yeah. Yup.
You've made the best choice in your life.
Flynn! Hey, Flynn, we got a job!
Flynn!
Why do I feel like I just made a huge mistake?
Shit.
Tell me a bit about that
with the Bergeron Brothers.
- What was your excuse? - Oh. Oh, goodness, um...
I don't like to say anything bad, really, but they're a little psycho.
I would not recommend them.
And I was like...
They were so good.
It's really exciting here.
- It's Keither's first day on job. - First day.
We know he's sleeping or he could be dead.
He was making some noises last night,
but it's 5:02, and he's not up and ready to roll.
There was crying and, like, weird cat noises and things.
- So, it was... - Yeah.
No more rest! Time to get up!
All right, Keither! Welcome to the crew, buddy!
Come on, come on, go, go, go! Come on, man!
- Drunk uncle. - I've been drinking all day.
August, you broke another cone.
I'm going through this training course,
and it's made me stronger and faster than I've ever been.
And it's really helped.
Ring bearer's down!
Ring bearer's down! What are you gonna do? You gonna leave him down?
To work for the Bergeron Brothers...
I've never quite seen anything like it.
Where's the bathroom?
Good morning.
You look really pretty.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you two... what are you doing in here?
Get outta here! Get outta here!
What's with you? Get outta here!
Oh, my God, this is totally unnecessary!
- Go! - I don't have my face on.
- Oh, my God. - Get outta here!
I just wanted to see a little bit of something.
We're trying to make them look right.
Trying to get it all going all at the same time.
- Just trying to get some sound. - Gotta be in the right kind of mood.
All right, guys, stay out, all right?
Look, we're filming it.
Mikey.
Man, maybe we should've called.
You know, we were under the impression
that the Bergeron Brothers were actual wedding videographers
because they told us they were.
We didn't really see the red flags until it was too late.
Well, I mean, like, they had equipment
and they seem like they know how to use it.
Yeah, but, you know, handling a garden hose
doesn't exactly make you a fireman.
♪ You are the one I always loved ♪
♪ I always loved you ♪
♪ Then you broke my heart ♪
♪ You broke it up ♪
♪ You said you didn't Like my wiener anymore ♪
♪ You didn't like it You didn't like it... ♪
- Morning, fellas. - Hey!
Mullet Mikey!
Is everything okay in there?
Yeah, it's okay.
It's just that, you know,
you guys caught us a little off-guard this morning.
Oh, yeah?
Well, what about your fiancée?
Is she satisfied?
What?
Awake? Is she awake?
- Yeah, August, she's awake. - Okay, cool, let's...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey. Guys, guys.
I hired you guys as wedding videographers.
Can't we just sort of stick to the wedding?
Look, Mullet Mikey, okay?
This is an all-inclusive package, my friend.
Okay? There's no extra charge for us being here.
Thanks.
But, I mean, really, though, thanks for such a good deal, you know?
I really dodged a bullet... those other guys.
I mean, I don't know if you know this,
but I'm sort of paying for this whole thing out of pocket.
Do you know if there's any parade
scheduled to come by on his block today?
- What? - For audio.
- No! - Cool.
Well, let me know if one comes by.
Parade...
I love a parade.
I thought that the father of the bride pays for the whole wedding.
You know, like the classic hit comedy Father of the Bride?
- Steve Martin. - Classic.
Yeah, I mean, that's true.
It's just that Mel's been married a few times,
and he said that he's not going to be
paying for any more weddings.
Look, Mikey, I get it, okay?
You wanna be a man and take charge of the situation,
you know, show her what you're capable of.
Sure, Flynn.
We're gonna be here for you every step of the way, all right?
We're gonna make the best God-darn wedding video you ever saw.
Ah.
Ah!
Thanks guys, okay?
And that's coming out of your pay, okay?
That's Pier 1.
Fuck.
And make a note of that for the budget.
- Noted. - Coming out of our pay.
I know dealing with the Bergeron Brothers,
filming every single moment might seem extreme,
but I see it as a great way to capture the early days,
you know, those moments leading up to that first big step.
Well, my fourth big step.
I was married three times before this one.
Right.
Sure, it's still exciting getting married,
even though you've done it a few times before.
It's like watching your favorite movie...
even if your husband ends up disappearing at the end,
or gets drafted to the war,
or his car falls into the ocean.
I mean, you still laugh at all the jokes.
Am I right?
This is our catalog of wedding cakes,
starting with the most expensive in the front.
Okay, uh, that'll do.
I can't find anybody to come to the wedding.
Oh, nobody? No one?
Well, why? What's wrong? What's wrong?
- You don't know anyone? - I have no friend...
Keither!
Okay, our friend Mr. Mullet Mike seems to not know enough people
to be able to make his wedding look really nice and full up,
and it's gonna ruin our video...
it's gonna ruin his video, so we need you to get
as many guests as you can to show up.
I'm on it.
Right there. Come up from the front there.
- Just be happy... - What's wrong with your face?
- Look at the camera. - Hold! Hold!
Okay, get that one right there. That's good.
- Okay, cool. - That was terrible.
- Try this... hold. - Which camera am I looking at?
- Excellent, awesome. - Is that okay?
We got flowers. We're good?
Just hold the flowers. Just get this...
- Okay, you can't take a picture if the... - Take the picture!
- Okay, boom, boom. - My eyes were closed that whole time.
- I can't... - I don't know who I'm looking at.
- It's kind of hard to smile with... - Okay.
- Hold that one right there. - Just...
- Hold it! - I feel like that's in front of my face.
Just smile, just hold quick.
Get this over with. Okay.
- Hold it, hold it! - Is that supposed to happen?
You know you're... you're on fire.
I'm out, I'm out, I'm out!
August!
August, you okay?
- It's on fire! - I think you got it.
Everyone okay?
You guys all right?
- Jesus. - You guys okay?
I could've died.
Shit.
Daddy!
My Mellybean!
There she is.
Mel's father, Mr. Senicci.
What's all this shit?
Uh, this is the documentary crew.
Oh, so you wasted your money on camera crew
instead of a half-decent hall for a reception?
Jesus, this looks like the place
where they used to hold my AA meetings.
Okay, there we go.
All right, guys, come on in.
Good, good, good, nice and easy.
Christ, this is the place they held those AA meetings.
It's perfect!
I can see the wonder in it.
Yeah, I wonder what that smell is.
Um, excuse me.
If I may, Mr. "Senick-ci," sir, Your Honor, Emperor,
can I take your beautiful goddess, warrior princess daughter
and sort of walk around the whole premises,
like you showing it off?
Excellent idea, August. Excellent.
We can match it up with the father-daughter dance later.
That's what I was thinking. See, great minds think on bikes.
Uh... it's "think alike."
You know, not "on bikes."
Are you sure about that?
"Bikes..." I'll Google it later.
Come on, let's go.
Do you have a decorator?
No, not exactly.
Mel's cousin Annie's gonna come by,
hang a couple of things up, but, you know, not a lot, of course.
Looking good. It's looking good.
So, how long have you been doing this, son?
Um, skipping?
No, your camera business thing.
My wedding videography business.
Oh, like, about 200-300 days now.
Oh... oh, my God.
That's the smell.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
Wait.
Is that... is that alive?
Okay, yep.
- What do you think? - Good.
Subtle, thanks.
I get it.
This is your brother's gig, ain't it?
And you latched on 'cause you're the little brother, right?
Well...
only by, like, nine months.
Grow some balls.
Take charge.
See, that's what I would do.
Balls.
Just let it go, okay?
I will never let go, okay?
Then I'm going to do that.
I'm going to grow balls and I'm going to grab them.
"Melanachicia," listen,
I was just talking to your dad over there,
and he was telling me to grab my balls,
and I think we just need to be open about our relationship.
Let them know what we're talking about.
Wh... what are you talking about?
You picked me, all right?
Now you're stuck with me, okay?
Every turn, every angle, I will be right there,
with or without a camera.
What's going on with you and Mullet Mike, it's not gonna last.
I can do better.
Let me take his place.
I can... I got a video guy already.
I mean, this is why you chose us, all right?
This is what we're here for.
- Wait! No, wait. - Get...
- Okay. - Are we getting married?
Okay, Flynn, look, you're creeping me out.
Knock it off, okay?
- Let go! - Hey, what's going on?
Mikey, get your crazy friend off of me!
What...
How long is this affair been going on, you Jezebel?
What?
Oh, my God, enough!
Get outta here, you two!
You've been driving us crazy since day one.
You're... you're fired!
Yeah, get out!
I'm sorry, baby.
This is all my fault, you know?
I thought I was having doubts about this whole wedding thing.
It turns out these two psychos are just driving me nuts.
You know, I love you.
- I wanna be with you. - Oh, baby, I love you too.
Mwah!
That was beautiful!
Okay, maybe we can take it one more time.
We'll do, like, an over-the-shoulder type shot,
something like that.
Aw. Aw, that sounds great.
Get out!
Aug, you okay?
- August. - Hey, guys, how'd it go?
- August. - What?
What the heck was that all about?
What?
Um, you lost your cool in there, that's what.
You lost your cool, Flynn.
You proposed to the B-to-be.
Well, there's... there's no rules against it.
I'd say it's a pretty solid unspoken rule.
- Well, I mean... - Come on, let's calm down.
Let's just go back to the garage.
Let's do the training, get ready for the next gig.
What gig, Flynn? There are no other gigs.
What's with you being able to say what we do all the time, huh?
Why can't I make a decision?
I don't make all the decisions.
I just... I'm a born leader. I just can't help it.
Okay, so why can't I take the lead at least once?
Okay, fine.
What do you wanna do, fearless leader?
- What do you wanna do next? - Okay, well...
- Let's go kite flying. - Um, yeah, no.
Come on, we need to go back. Let's do the training.
Let's get back to it.
Why can't we go kite flying?
Okay, one, it's not windy enough, okay?
B, it's stupid.
And three, we need to get back to training.
Training, that's what we do for gigs.
We train for the next thing.
There's no other next thing, okay?
We're out here wasting our time.
We're barely videographers, let alone wedding videographers.
So who cares?
I care, all right?
Smart people make their money doing weddings, okay?
You know that.
Oh, it's the smart people we're worried about.
Smart people.
Like Sherri?
Watch your mouth, young man.
You watch it.
Is that it?
Is that what this is all about? Huh?
You blow all our money getting some documentary crew
to chase us around like a bunch of idiots, huh?
To impress your ex, to win her back,
running around dumb weddings, barely making any money, huh?
So that just by some chances, she's out there working too,
so then maybe you connect across the room,
huh? smoking your dumb cigarettes, maybe in the back,
And then maybe exchange numbers, and go out to some cool cafe bar
where they play dumb music, huh?
Oh, and then you maybe get married again and you don't include me?
at the back? and you leave a little August And you have babies,
That's what this is all about, huh?
Yeah!
Maybe it is. Yeah, so?
Good God almighty, Flynn!
Unbelievable!
And you drag me around through all this
so that you don't look stupid, huh?
Yeah, I mean, it'll be pretty obvious if I had to do it by myself.
Oh, my God, that's it.
I'm out, I'm done.
I quit, Flynn.
You're on your own.
August.
August!
Fine!
Just go fly your kite!
Flynn.
I'm gonna pull the car around. Music preference?
Look, Keither, I'm gonna have to put you
on involuntary permanent layoff.
The company is experiencing some...
cutbacks.
Wow, that's a bummer.
Yeah, I know.
You wanna get some beers and hang in the cemetery with me?
Sounds delightful.
I just can't.
We don't have to get beers.
We can just hang in the cemetery.
It's nice and quiet.
- Bye, Keither. - Bye, Flynn.
I'll snap you from the cemetery.
I had the day open, so I figured I'd just come
and see how things went for my old pal Mullet Mike, you know?
August?
Is that August over there?
August.
Is that you?
Hey...
Hey, Mr. Spielberg, Steven. Hey, what's up bud?
You know, I can't wait to make that new dinosaur action shark movie with you.
I just wanna thank you for that lobster dinner
and all that champagne and the naked-breasts women that you gave me, so...
I gotta go.
Actually, there's a butt hole here
to get the knife out of my back, so...
All right, ciao, bye.
Hey, Augie.
Flynn.
Sounds like you've been pretty busy.
I've been trying to get ahold of you.
Yeah, well...
I see you still have your documentary crew with you.
Yeah, you know, they wanna see this thing through,
and I have a feeling that you do too.
Mm, yeah, fat chance.
I was actually looking for my dog.
I don't know if you've seen him. He's really big and cool.
Uh...
I was about to get him neutered, actually,
'cause I didn't want him running off for some bitch.
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
I should have never used our business
for my love redemption.
I mean, it was stupid and I'm sorry, okay?
Okay. Well, I am sorry too.
You know, I don't mean to be such a ball buster.
Just, there's a lot going on.
And I don't really have a neutered dog.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, he actually did run away before I can get it snipped off.
So, if you see him...
we gotta get him.
Well, what do you say maybe we head back to the garage,
heat up some vendor food, ravioli, cake,
whatever you got in the cabinet,
and maybe get back to planning our next gig?
You know what? I mean, it sounds good.
Yeah, we could do that, but we just need to hold off on the pasta.
I've been packing it in these past couple days, guilt eating.
I had to go see a doctor.
Actually, he prescribed me
with some kind of super... super blockage breaker.
It knocks me loose real quick, if you know what I mean.
It's... it's pretty hard-core shit.
- That's gross. - Yeah.
So...
we cool?
Yeah. I...
I missed you, man.
I missed you too.
Okay, it's okay.
- Mm - That's really nice.
You don't see guys hugging it out anymore.
- What? Keither? - Yeah.
Can... Cannon, what are you doing here?
Working.
Wait, working what?
The Magner wedding.
- What? - Magner wedding? He...
Mikey can't afford Perfect Day.
I don't know whatever you did to get fired,
but her dad knows a guy that knows another guy
that beat up a guy who owes money to another guy,
and that guy happens to be Chad's dad.
So, Chad has to do the wedding for free.
Man!
You really got to give it to a guy like Mr. "Senunchucks."
Yeah.
But, yeah, Chad is having me doing grip production work,
which is more or less just untangling wires,
and changing batteries out, and shit like that.
- Bitch work. It sucks. - Yeah?
Well, I better roll.
I gotta go get Chad his "frothy" latte.
Him and Sherri are holed up in the men's room,
not letting no one in, no one out.
Everyone has to pee in the ladies room or in the kitchen sink, so...
Man!
I can't stand that Chad Johnson, man.
Can you believe that?
our wedding! This was supposed to be
God, let's just get outta here, man.
I wanna get lost before Sherri sees me.
I'm gonna look like a real chump.
- Yeah. - Let's just get outta here.
Hmm.
Um...
That's something, huh?
That Chad Johnson, he's a real piece of work.
Yeah, I hate him.
Yeah, the way he kind of swooped in and took what was...
what was ours, what was yours, you know?
So he can get in there and do all kinds of weird things
with his high-def equipment
so he could watch it over, over, over again.
God, I hate that guy.
What if, uh...
What if something were to happen to him, you know?
Something to throw him off
on this big, important day,
something super gross,
something in front of our high-quality cameras?
Huh? Something that we can watch
over and over and over again.
How about that?
I'm not following you.
Here comes the groom.
Ah.
Um, sorry to interrupt,
but here's your latte, sir.
God damn it, Keither.
I wanted this exactly 10 minutes ago.
Whoa! Jeez, man.
Now go get me another one.
And maybe don't take an hour this time?
Yes, sir.
Rock and roll, boys.
Oh, hey. Where do you think you're going?
- I have a lot to do. I don't have time for this. - Excuse me?
You don't have time to pleasure your fiancé?
You do know how stressed out I get, right?
- I... I need this. - I'm sorry, honey, I can't.
I'm not in the mood for this.
I'm shorthanded today, and I have a million things to do, and you know that.
I'm only gonna ask you this once.
- Take off your pants. - No.
Chad, stop being an asshole. I said "no."
- Go off your damn pants! - Get the hell off of me!
Flynn!
No means no!
- Get off of him! - Oh, you some kind of hero now, huh?
What, you think you can just come back in here and win her back, Flynn?
- Stop! - She's never gonna go back with a weakling like you.
You're a little pussy, baby, mommy's boy, Flynn.
That's how you've always been.
That's how you're always gonna be.
You and that idiot brother of yours.
Chad, stop!
You Bergeron Brothers ain't gonna amount to anything.
I'll make sure of that. Guess what.
I'll make sure the whole town knows
what gigantic moron losers you guys really are!
And they're gonna remember me, baby,
Chad, as an awesome dude,
doing sweet-ass, cool-ass things, okay?
I'm gonna be a goddamn leg... end.
A legend...
- Did he hurt you? - No, I'm fine.
Thank you, Flynn.
You're hurt.
Holy shit!
God!
What was that? Was that me?
Yeah, well, back up.
- Okay, okay... - Was that my asshole?
Oh, my God, he's bleeding!
- Who? - Somebody call 911.
Ah! Yes, 911, yes!
- Go, go! Move, move! - Am I bleeding?
Am I blee... am I bleeding?
Is my butt hole bleeding?
Wow.
That was a whole lot of poop.
- Did not expect that. - No.
Oh, these poor guys.
Hey, do you know what I see here?
Pssh, a big old shitty mess.
Well, yeah, aside from that, though.
I see a film crew.
Oh, yeah.
A film crew without their leader.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, okay.
I got this. I got this.
Hey, um... can I get everyone's attention?
Can I just get, ahem, everyone's attention over here?
Come on up, please.
Listen up, listen up.
All right, listen, guys.
I understand this sucks, okay?
And I want you to erase your memory of all of this here,
and that your boss almost forcibly raped his fiancée,
and sprayed shit all over the place for you guys to clean up,
and my brother knocked him out cold,
but don't... just erase all of that from you,
because even though your dickhead boss
almost shit himself to death, we still have a wedding to do.
Am I right?
So, no longer are you all working for Perfect Day Enterprises.
As of now, you're all working for me, August,
and my brother here, Flynn,
the Bergeron Brothers Wedding Videographers.
Sound good?
Now, of course we're gonna be serious,
and we're gonna get down to business,
but most important, we're gonna have some fun, okay?
Trust me.
We got this?
- Yeah. - Okay.
All right, people, you heard my brother, okay?
Let's clean the rest of this shit up,
and, uh, let's film a wedding!
Yeah!
All right, guys, all right.
Okay, come on. Let's get geared up.
I got you.
Don't worry about it, though.
You know what, Mikey?
Let me tell you what.
You're all right.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm...
I'm all right.
Vases down here... one, two, and three.
There you go. You got it, you got it.
Here, make that look good. That's cool.
Hey, hey, hey!
Whoa, what's the ratio all about here, man?
Come on, mix. Tongs! Tongs!
Mel! Okay, Mel. I got you, good shot.
We need to get this. Does this look good?
- Ow! It's all right... Jesus. - Go, get out of here!
What are you guys doing in here?
Can I get, like, a minute?
What?
Oh, come...
Come on. Like, what is that?
Like, why would you even do that?
And track, and track.
And track.
Right.
All right...
Whoo!
I'm actually doing it.
And who gives this woman away?
Oh, uh, yeah.
I guess that would be me.
Here you go.
All right.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this joyous occasion
to join this couple in holy matrimony.
Repeat after me.
With this ring, I thee wed.
Okay.
Repeat after me.
With this ring, I thee wed.
By the power vested in me...
I pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Mwah!
Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to present
for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Magner.
All right, we're just waiting out here for the bride and groom,
and we're gonna blow some bubbles.
And it's gonna be a nice, joyous occasion, and, um...
- Oh, wait, here they come. - Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles!
Thank you, guys.
Yeah, congratulations!
- Bubbles, bubbles! - I love bubbles.
Now presenting Michael and Melanacia Magner.
We got married!
All right, babe!
Whoo!
- Thanks for the open bar. - Oh, no problem.
- That's awesome. - Yes, sir? Yes?
- Wait... - Love this!
Guys, the cake was just delivered.
- Great. Awesome. - Go, go, go.
You know, that's what I'm thinking...
It's doesn't matter.
It's gonna have to be a short shot.
Look.
That cheap son of a bitch!
What are we gonna do?
Um, you know, maybe we can do, like, micro slices,
or we could draw straws and see who gets cake.
That's not gonna work.
Have you seen this crowd?
Well, Flynn...
Um...
Oh, I got it! I got an idea.
Um...
You, guy folding napkins! Here.
Take my car, go back to our apartment.
Go inside the cabinet marked "venue desserts"
and bring back every goddamn piece of cake you find there.
Now, go!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
That chicken can fly.
Who was that guy?
Je... Oh, Jesus.
Hey, Hal.
Um, are you having a good time?
You...
You beat it, Bergeron.
I'm really sorry about what happened to your finger.
I... I know it was really important to you.
What if I give you a chance to redeem yourself?
Nothing short of a culinary miracle will help my chances
of getting laid and finding the grandmother
of my future grandkids.
Culinary miracle, huh?
I think I got an idea.
Introducing our special guest cake decorator
and award-winning jump rope champion,
Hal "Manger" and his lady-pleasing finger.
- Yeah, Hal! - All right!
- Yeah! - All right, Hal!
- I think it'll work. - I would eat that.
- A clean piece. Ready? - Okay.
- One... Be good. - Nice and easy.
- Yeah, no problem. - Go.
Mmm!
That's nice.
All right, everybody, it's the time we've all been waiting for,
the first dance of the bride and groom.
This is it. This is the big dance.
- We gotta get this. - Okay, we're good.
We got this. Okay, you rolling?
So... come on, record.
Bat... battery's dead.
- Battery's dead? - Yeah, it's dead.
Keither, Keither!
- Where's Keither? - I'm rolling, I'm rolling!
Drunk uncle! Drunk uncle!
- Come on! - I got the shot.
I got it!
- Move! Wait, move! - I got him!
- Okay... - Holy sh...
Oh, my God, the camera!
Get the camera!
- I just broke the camera! - Get the shot!
Get the shot! I'm gonna get it!
I'm getting it!
Ah! Damn!
No... nobody's getting the shot!
No one's getting it!
I'm screwing it up again!
Oh, shit!
Whyyy?
Whew!
- Did I look good? - Yeah, damn good, baby.
- Damn good. - Thank you.
Heh-hey! Wow!
- That was fantastic. - Thank you.
I mean, I didn't think you guys had it in you.
- Wow! Really impressive. - I tried really hard.
Just... little, minor thing.
Um, we're gonna have to do that again,
'cause the camera broke and the batteries fell out of this,
and there were some drunk uncles.
No, no, no... no, I don't care, I don't care.
- Everybody, get back to where you were. - You don't understand.
It took me two months to learn that.
My friend, Fallon, at the club took two months
out of her life to teach me that dance.
- I am not doing that again. - She's not.
- Mikey, I didn't get the shot. - Hey, that won't be necessary.
I got the shot.
So did I.
I got the shot too.
- I got the shot. - I got the shot.
I got the shot too.
I got the shot.
Wow, that's better than mine.
It's beautiful.
Yeah, you're lucky, Flynn.
Thank you, everybody.
Continue on.
And that's, uh... that's it right there.
That's the shot that everyone wants.
Yeah, I mean, we have a ton of weddings lined up
and they all want this shot.
- It's like a new fad, they call it. - Yeah.
Like, Ellen wanted us to be on her show and some cooking shows,
but we just don't have the time for it, you know?
Yeah, we've been really busy.
But now, actually, we set up about 127 different GoPros
around the bride and groom, and just capture it all at once.
Yeah. But this is the first one.
This is the one that started it all.
Hey, guys, Keither here.
Go ahead, Keither. This is August.
Someone's out back to see Flynn.
Well, hello there, Mr. Famous Videographer.
Aw, jeez, Sherri.
I'm not famous.
I just did something really wonderful for an old friend.
I haven't talked to you since the wedding.
Yeah, we've been pretty busy.
Listen, I, uh... I just wanted to say I'm sorry
for everything that I put you through,
and I wanted to thank you for helping me with Chad that day.
Don't mention it.
Um... is he okay?
He's all right.
They had to amputate part of his small intestine,
and now he poops into a bag, but I guess he'll be okay.
- Ah, jeez, that's gross. - Yeah. Um...
Listen...
I messed up.
I should've never have left you.
You're a wonderful man.
And, honestly, I just...
I just don't know what I ever saw in Chad.
I was wondering if you...
if you could take me back.
You know, I was really hoping you'd asked me that.
Really?
Oh, thank you, Flynn!
Wait, wait.
No, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression by that.
There's no way I can take you back, Sherri.
Are you kidding?
No, I'm not, okay?
You broke my heart.
You broke it into a million pieces, Sherri.
This past year has been the worst.
You left me for some giant douche bag
with a big, hairy donger
and big, fat wallet,
a bunch of cool suits.
You left me for him on our wedding day.
You thought the grass was greener on the other side?
Well, I'm here to tell you it's not.
It's not green on the other side.
It's brown and gross, just like the bathroom was
when your fiancé almost pooped himself to death.
Look...
anything in the world. I loved you more than
And I probably always will.
But right now,
I just need some space.
'Cause I'm really busy today...
maybe you should just get the heck outta here.
Flynn, it's a drunk uncle!
Look out! Get ready for it!
- Get ready for it, come on! - I got the shot.
Frame it up! He's turned to the side.
Calm down, sir. I got the shot.
- Good, good, and set. - I got the shot.
Good, that's great.
You never know when he's coming at you, man.
Nice, good shot. Good job, man.
Pretty good, not bad.
I don't know if maybe our doc crew...
if our doc crew is still ready.
Are those rascals trained for that drunk uncle?
Ah... They've been through a lot.
Cool, man. Good, good, good.
We're good.
Nice.
Whoa.
It's, um... All right.
We're just gonna hug.
It's...
Hey, man, good?
You all right?
Yeah, I think so.
Okay.
Position one, position one!
Let's go, reset! Let's go, let's go!
Now that she said "I do,"
let the Bergeron Brothers
do the rest for you.
Hello, I'm Flynn Bergeron,
CEO of Bergeron Brothers Wedding Videograph...
Hi, hello, I'm... and I'm August Bergeron.
Congratulations.
Our deals are a real...
catch.
We know how important your wedding is.
We specialize in capturing every sacred moment for you.
Are you feeling uncertain or stressed
about all of the big plans that comes with the day?
Let us carry your load.
We will go anywhere to capture your special day.
Church, park, pavilion, yard.
We will be there no matter what, come rain or shine.
Did you say food?
We will help you with every delicious detail
from the plate to your bellies,
with an unbridled knowledge of food.
Yes, your wedding dress is coming now.
Wedding dress is coming now.
Hey, Keither, what's the... what's the new clients?
Money's coming.
We also offer the honeymoon package,
where we would join the newlyweds
and capture every intimate moment.
So hire us, the Bergeron Brothers.
You make the moments.
Let us catch them.
Bergeron Brothers Wedding Videographers.
Call or email.
Master charge accepted.
Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull