- Going to work? - Got one for me?
Pos Kota Village
Care for some coffee, Doyok?
Got one for me?
Thanks.
- Charity, sir? - For me?
I'll just take these. Thanks.
I hope you stepped on some cat's poop.
- Watch out, cat's poop. - For me?
- You're on it. - Damn it!
I don't want this one.
Lucky you're my son in-law, Toy, if not, I would've choked you already.
What a lazy no good son in-law.
No wonder because you were born when your mother spat.
Come on, let's get you showered. Calm down.
Oops, there's someone here.
It's not polite to peek. Big sin!
Here it is.
El, I'm so lucky to have you as my wife.
I am very happy with my family.
I don't feel like leaving this house. It's so peaceful here.
Here's your coffee.
Lucky, my ass!
Happy in your house with your family.
Nice excuse.
So sweet.
- Is that love, El? - Money.
Neng. Can I have some coffee?
Sure. Wait a second.
Not a lot of people here. Where are the kids?
- Sleeping. - You should get a new husband soon.
There's one in front of you waiting.
Don't make me blush.
Not you!
- Enjoy. - Let me taste the coffee.
Yeah.
Neng.
Your coffee's too sweet today.
How was the flavor before?
- It's sweet. Everyday is sweet. - Stop it.
Is your dad a sugar cane farmer?
Or does he work at a sugar company?
You can answer, "How did you know?"
- Didn't you know? - Know what?
My dad just passed away yesterday.
Alhamdulillah!
Inalilahi.
Good morning.
The young and glorious. It's true.
But the elder is wiser.
Petty trap like this won't work for an international standard like me.
Nice!
Tried to prank, but got 50 thousand instead?
Lucky for us!
Bye!
Crap, I thought that was a trap.
- Assalamualaikum. - Welcome home, son.
Walaikumsalam.
Showering with coffee? Are the well dried or what?
So, you must study hard!
Well, Neng.
That is life. It's full of mystery.
Our fate is already written. Like our destiny.
Maybe we're destined to be together.
Stop flirting with me.
Won't your girlfriend be mad at you?
Don't you know?
My girlfriend just died yesterday too.
- So I'm dead now? - Crap.
- Great! - No, I mean the other girlfriend.
You mean there's another one?
Cheap playboy, I'm going to wash you with this coffee.
I'm dead!
Sorry, I didn't mean to.
Hey, where are you going? Come back here!
Honey.
Look at how you dressed.
I forgot. An expensive suit like this will surely make you handsome.
Of course.
Are you thirsty? Wait.
Here, drink up some juice so you'll stay healthy.
Because rich people foods are healthy!
Of course.
Yummy, isn't it? Honey!
One, two, three, four...
Sir, your car is ready.
Sorry for asking this. But you haven't paid me this month.
Why did you slap me?
It's my rights! Ouch!
- Stop talking! - Sorry, sir.
I told to you stop. Get in the car.
Why am I your driver?
Being a driver in my imagination is better than being an unemployed in real life.
What are you looking at?
You're blocking us, Ali! Now it's gone, thanks to you.
- That was a good one. - What's so good about that?
You guys must be getting crazy. You must be very stressed.
You just don't know how married life is. It is stressful.
Every day full of nagging and yelling.
Women can't let go of you once she does that to you.
Like people said, what was it again?
- Love? - That's it.
L-O-V-E. Love.
There's no such thing as love nowadays.
It's your loss if you don't believe me.
Listen. When a woman falls in love with you...
...she will be rougher and torture you.
Up to you to believe it, but that is love.
You're talking nonsense.
If Eli doesn't love you, she wouldn't have married you.
You're fat, ugly, and poor.
- That's what I'm talking about. - But I'm smart.
Not smart enough to realize that you're being ungrateful.
It's not easy to get a wife now.
Especially a wife that you can freeload to like yours.
That one is right.
Quit grinning, what about you?
You don't even have a girlfriend.
- Or maybe... - Stop talking nonsense.
Just kidding. But as your buddy, I worry about you.
Because you're in your 40s now.
Ali is right. I heard rumors about you, too, Yok.
They said you don't like women.
Bullshit! I'm just picky!
Being picky when no one picks you is pretty much useless.
Don't cry, Yok. Don't wiro.
- Worry. - Yeah, worry.
I'll get you a wife.
He's good at this, you know?
- Hello? - Yok.
- Yes, Mom? - How are you doing?
I'm okay.
Okay? You don't even have a girlfriend, let alone a wife.
When will you have a child?
Be patient, mom.
How long should I be patient? Until I die?
But...
you have passed away, haven't you?
Of course.
What is my fault?
What is my mother's fault?
That I have to suffer a miserable life
Nobody wants me...
...to relieve me from this miserable life
To relieve my heartsick
To be...
...my lover
You still don't have a wife at this age?
What are you waiting for?
Or are you unwanted?
That is why I told you not to skip bathe.
Hang out with people.
Sitting and doing nothing like a convict.
From east to west, south to north...
...you still can't find them
From durian season to rambutan season...
...you got nothing
You still don't find it
Dear Lord...
...is this a test?
Dear sir and ma'am, whoever owns a daughter, please tell me
I am so ashamed with my friends...
...because I'm the only single man
Listen to me, I need help
Please have mercy on me
Please look for my soulmate
Whoever wants to
Ouch!
Stop that noise! Can't you see we're trying to sleep?
Sorry.
What's the similarity between a middle-aged woman and a fungus?
Yul?
- Yuli. - What?
You always look for me when I'm not around.
Now that I'm here, you're busy romancing your phone.
Come on, I'm entering a quiz.
If I won, we'll get a trip to the beach.
Do you believe in that thing?
You're just wasting your money. You will never won.
At least I'm using it for a quiz, rather then spending it to call some widow.
Whatever, I'm going to the Internet cafe with Otoy. Looking for a wife.
Ali!
Not for me, but for Doyok.
I thought it was for you.
But if Doyok doesn't want it, I will take it.
You flirty jerk!
A similarity between a middle-aged woman and a fungus?
They're itchy!
This is the website I usually use, Toy. This is guaranteed to work.
Fill your personal data.
Why do you have his ID?
He still hasn't paid his rent for three months.
My father in-law seized this thing, and I stole it from him.
- Let's start. - You're smart. Full name?
Raden Doyok Prayitno Rahardjo.
- Is he a blue blood? - I don't know.
Never seen him bleed his nose.
I'll just write Doyok.
Date and place of birth.
Yogyakarta, 4 Pahing, Rajab month.
- According to his ID, Toy. - That is from his ID.
You're right. Villagers.
- I'll just make it up. - Okay.
Now we wait a couple of days. Hopefully someone will want him.
- Someone is interested! - How come it's so fast?
I don't know. Maybe to shorten the duration so the movie won't be too long.
Look, she's asking his name, address, and parents background.
That would be too long. Just get to the point.
Your position?
Want to meet up?
Ayu said okay!
Nice to meet you.
- We must tell Doyok. - Okay.
- You pay the bill. - I don't have any money.
- I'm broke. - Broke, yet you brought me here?
That's loud enough!
Wait.
- Take it away. - Got it.
- I think it's enough. - What the...
Those teeth are nasty.
- Hey, my PC is dead! - Lame!
- Useless stuff! - Excuse me.
- What happened? - It's dead!
- Look at that. - Dead?
I just had it serviced last month.
The serviceman had the wrong diagnosis.
There's no way my PC got malpractice.
- You mean miscarriage? - Oh, my God.
- Just look at it. - Okay. Relax.
- Excuse me. - What should we do?
There!
Some rat ate the cable. What kind of place is this?
This place sucks.
- You can't even run it. - Don't be like this next time.
There's a rat in here!
I'm not very comfortable with this kind of outfit.
Is it good?
That's the best look.
You even made me fall for you.
Here, put this on.
What is this?
Do you still believe in this thing? No wonder you're still poor.
You don't trust this, yet you're also poor.
Just wear it, who knows it will bring you a good luck.
Yok, you have to seduce her. Don't talk politics with Ayu.
Yeah, you're kind of boring to talk.
An hour feels like 60 minutes with you.
How many minutes it supposed to be, Toy?
Usually a guy with bald head means genius, but you're an idiot.
Wait, that's funny. You should talk to her like that.
"Time flies when talking to you. An hour feels like 60 minutes."
What's the right one, then?
The right one is accepted into heaven.
Where's the fun getting into heaven in just 60 minutes?
Did you even graduate from school?
I'm ready!
And he wears his Dalang clothes again.
So what's the point of us doing a makeover for him?
Come on, let's follow him.
Wait for me, Toy.
Thank you.
That's her!
- Oh my God, she's so pretty. - Come on!
I'm scared.
You must remember.
This is your future wife.
Hurry up, we'll go in first.
- Ayu? - Doyok?
Yes.
- May I sit down? - Sure, please.
How are you? Long time no see.
I'm fine. But this is the first time we met, right?
You're right.
Time flies when talking to you. An hour feels like 60 minutes.
- Idiot! - No, he just missed his timing.
She laughed!
You want some?
- You've tried this yet? - Yeah.
- I'll try it then. - Toy.
This is love at the first sight.
When I first met her...
...at some cafe...
...something's pounding in my chest
I try to to get close to her
I stare at her face
God, she's just too beautiful
I'll just put my pretty face
I give her my smile...
...which my mother said is the cutest smile
I hope this pretty lady likes me...
...so that I can say...
..."I love you" every day
Is this love?
Love at the first sight
Is this how love feels?
Is this love?
Feels so happy when I meet...
...with her
I meet him one more time
And I'm liking him more and more
Making a nuisance in my head
My head is full
Full of him
Full of his funny whim
Do I care for him?
Or do I love him?
But please don't let this be a blind love
We'll face good and bad times together
I can't help it...
...whenever I'm far from him
Is this love?
Love at the first sight
Is this how love feels?
Is this love?
Feels so happy when I meet...
...with him
You're so cute.
Let's end this call. I'm sleepy.
Yeah, it's been 4 hours.
But it feels like only 3 hours 58 minutes.
- Why do I miss you? - Don't miss me.
Why? Because it's heavy? I won't be strong enough?
No. Many hands make light work.
Don't you know that it's our nation's philosophy?
That's the essence of mutual cooperation...
...which we should hold high.
Are you sick? Someone hurt you?
Why? If someone hurt me, they will disappear?
No. If you're sick, take a medicine.
If the illness persists, consult a doctor.
Why did she hang up?
Maybe she's calling a doctor.
Doyok already got one. Now it's my turn.
What the...
This is bad!
Toy!
What the heck? What are you doing here?
This is emergency!
Emergency, my ass! Get down from there!
Seems like you have more emergency situation.
What are you looking at? Get down!
I can't see the neck, only the head.
I'll throw you my shit! Get out of here!
- Okay, but hurry up. - Okay.
Be careful, I think the head is loose.
- Hurry! - I know! It's not easy!
You're handsome, but I haven't loved you yet.
But I don't know about this afternoon.
But this is afternoon already.
Then, let's see tonight.
Why are you doing this to me? You said you love me yesterday.
I'm just kidding. Like in the movies.
You should see better movies. Like Ayat-Ayat Cinta.
Marry me, Fahri.
With my whole heart, darling.
Really? Do you want to marry me?
I'm really sure.
- Don't you want to do a "test drive" first? - Astagfirullah.
- Can I? - Of course you can.
But you should accept me as it is.
I have accepted you as it is. With my heart and soul, my dear.
- Okay, let me prepare myself. - Yes, darling.
- We should tell Doyok. - He will be very bummed.
Call him.
You call him.
- Hello? - Hello, Yok. Where are you now?
At Ayu's place, of course. Guess what we're going to do.
- What? - I'm about to "test drive"!
She said I can do it!
What is it?
He's going to do a "test drive"!
Yok, I suggest you to leave now. Ali and I will look for her replacement.
- That's right, Yok. - Talk to him.
Yok, just trust me on this one. She's a monster!
- Monster? What do you mean? - She's fa...
- She's what? Hello? - She's...
Crappy signal. Ali? What are you saying?
- She's... - Hello?
- She's fake! - Fake?
Oh, my God!
She pees standing.
She pees standing up.
Now you believe me?
So I should pee running?
You have to run away now!
I don't care if you have to pee!
Wait, that's my phone.
Doyok!
Where are you going?
I have to go home. It's already late.
But it's still evening.
But I'm sleepy.
Are you really sleepy or you already know about it?
I...
You haven't closed your curtain.
Are you ashamed?
Doyok.
Doyok!
- Why are you hiding? - I'm being chased by a monster.
- What kind of monster? - A drag queen monster!
- Is there money in it? - Money? What for?
- I'll tell her if you don't give us money. - I don't have any money!
- Doyok! - Oh, my God!
Please marry me.
It's not easy to find someone like me.
You can find them under the bridge!
Run as fast as you can!
This is romantic, isn't it?
Hi, Doyok.
Come here.
- I'm stuck. Help. - Take that!
Please, help me.
- Is it hurt? - Come here. It's hurt.
Come here.
- Got you now! - Let me go! We're not married!
Don't be shy. Do you want to do it now?
- But help me first. - No way!
- Doyok... - Alhamdulillah.
Please help me. It hurts.
Wait for a lightning strike.
Hey. My thing isn't a gecko.
That's a monitor lizard!
Doyok!
You'll be luckier next time.
Lucky, my ass. Eat your charm. It didn't work.
- What should we do now, Li? - Don't think about it.
Yok, this is how heartbreak feels.
All men should experience this.
Just relax, order more coffee. This is nothing.
That's for you. What about our friend here?
Relax. It's all about flight hours.
Flight hours? You think he's trying to be a pilot?
Whatever, I'm just saying.
Sir, I will leave my ID to pay later.
- Where is my ID? - Right. Sorry, I forgot.
- Why do you have it? - It's a long story. The audience knew.
Smells like a dead animal.
No wonder, this is a dead ID.
I know. I was planning to change it to the electronic ID.
But what can I do? They're always out of form.
That's the real impact of corruption for people like us.
I think he's recovered. He's talking politics again.
It's time for people to look at politics.
Do not let yourself be fooled by the government.
Do you know how much they've spent on state fund?
Do you know how many glasses of coffee you've drunk?
How do I make another glass of coffee?
Should I make it inside my mouth? Like this?
With some sugar.
With creamer.
Like this?
- Not really. - Then pay up!
Relax, I'll cover you. Sir, I'll pay for him.
That's a good friend.
Here, take my ID instead.
I'll take you to get a new ID so you can open a new tab.
Everyone pays with their ID. How should I buy my coffee? With what?
How should I buy a new glass when I'm running out?
Do I have to make a coffee in my mouth? Like this...
Sir!
Please, don't do it again. The first one wasn't even funny.
No, it was funny, sir.
Tapos Sub-District Office
Is it ready now?
- What? - My ID.
- Not today. - Not today? How long should I wait?
If you keep your service like this, I will report you to...
- Relax. He's not our president anymore. - You're right.
What I'm saying is, I refuse to be treated like this.
I paid my taxes, monthly and annually!
Let me see your tax ID.
Well, it's not about taxes.
Don't talk about other matters. Just hand me my ID.
- Are those missing people? - Yeah.
- All of them are male? - Yeah.
Their average age is around 25 to 40 years old.
- Thank God? - Why?
Yeah, thank God.
That means more lonely widows.
You're good at that.
Wait a minute. I'll call them.
Still no go?
Assalamualaikum.
Okay. Walaikumsalam.
See? You can't have it today.
The car carrying the ID got run over by an electric pole.
This is outrageous!
Where's your Camat? I want to protest.
He's at the... What?
- At a meeting. - Where's the meeting?
You can't even answer my question, I don't believe you.
I will report you to your Camat.
Sir, he's on a meeting. Really.
I'm disappointed at you.
Sir, I'm serious.
Just wait, I will report this to...
Toy, this is it. She is my soulmate.
Get her number for me.
Is it okay if you get her number, but not your ID?
That's okay. They can hold my ID, so I can visit here often.
- Okay. Let me do this for you. - Wait!
Where are you going?
This is for Doyok, don't grab his chance.
Yeah.
I'll ask her.
Excuse me.
Can I have your number?
- Receipt number? - Phone number?
For what?
To ask for my receipt number.
- Seriously? - I'm serious.
Look, my friend over there wants to say hi to you.
But he's too shy.
Here, don't embarrass yourself.
- He's so funny. - Right? He's too shy!
Thank you.
So relieved.
Here. Our grocery money for the week.
You go shopping, my eyes hurt.
I watched too much Korean drama. Oh, my God, they're so cool!
Okay, El. I'll do anything for you.
I don't need that from you. Just go look for a job.
So you can give me money for a change.
- About that? - "About that." Whatever.
- Assalamualaikum. - Walaikumsalam.
I'm going to talk about that with Ali and Doyok.
We have some projects going on. They are here already.
Go make us some drinks, and pray for our success, too.
Don't you dare lie to me.
There you are, my unemployed buddies.
Look at that grin on your face, what's on his mind?
He has dirty minds.
Thinking about Suci.
What are you thinking of her?
I'm thinking of her stuff. I mean...
What's wrong with her stuff?
- Ma'am. - Here's your coffee. While it's free.
- Thanks. - Get your hands off!
Thanks.
You make your own. My eyes are hurt and you told me to make some coffee?
I'd rather sleep.
So I can dream about my lovely Oppa.
Here, I can only smell something stale!
I like a feisty one like her!
Hey, that's my wife! Don't seduce her.
- Okay. What should we do now? - About what?
- Suci mission. - Damn, I forgot.
You said you were going to help me look for a wife.
I forgot. Suci...
- What do you think, Toy? - You're useless.
I think I have an idea.
- What is that? - Come here.
- Sounds good. - What do you guys think?
Your brain is useful sometimes, Toy.
The idea was great, but how about the money?
I can come up with an idea. But money...
- I have them, too! - Wonderful, Otoy!
- Shut up! - I almost forgot.
I feel very touched. All of this is just for my future wife.
- With 20 percent interest. - Damn it.
Let's go.
- Is this your design? - Yeah.
But can you finish this in one night?
- We can't do that. - Crap.
- Can't you do that? - Nope.
So? Can you do it?
They can't finish this tonight.
- Why can't you? - Why can't you?
Sorry, but we have a lot of queue.
Where's the queue? Nobody's here.
Sorry, but we don't accept orders directly from the store only.
We accept orders by phone, email, Instagram, sometimes live via Bigo, too.
Like you even have a data plan for Bigo Live.
How can you prioritize phone orders over direct orders?
- Sorry... - Stop saying sorry!
- Have you ever felt in love? - Yes, I have.
- Have you ever lost your love? - Yes, I have.
Do you know why I insist that it has to be finished today?
Because my buddy here will lose his love if you can't do it.
Now he's crying.
I still can't believe it. Aurel had the heart to left me.
So can you do it?
Yes, I can. In the name of love.
- Don't let him suffer like I did. - Of course.
- Can I look at her? - Here.
- Is she cute? - It's a chick!
Where did the chick go to college?
A real chicken!
Ayam sorry.
It's sideways!
You stupid! It's upside down!
Is it wrong? Let's fix it again.
- Now it's good. - Give me a high-five.
The sun sets so beautifully, but it can't match your beauty
If you are a lamp, I am willing to be a moth which always flies around you
You're like the earth plate. Everytime you slide, there's earthquake in my heart
That is so romantic, honey.
Why do you never do this for me?
- Hi, Suci. Congratulations. - Thank you.
- Suci! - Hindun!
- I'm so jealous! You're awesome! - Of course.
Doyok, want to meet up?
Doyok must be in high heavens right now.
You idiot, that was a very easy question.
That's wrong.
Amateur.
You didn't buy groceries? How come? I gave you all the money.
What should we eat? Air? We will catch a cold if eat air.
If we catch a cold, we'll be hospitalized.
And how should we pay the hospital bill?
Here's the thing, El. I met a very weak man on my way to do grocery shopping.
I felt very bad, so I gave him the money.
What? You gave him our money? He told you he didn't have any money?
Maybe he skimp on his money. He had to do fasting Monday and Thursday.
But today is Wednesday!
That means...
...he hasn't had anything since Monday. Don't you feel bad about him?
Otoy!
- Doyok. - Yes?
Thanks for making me the center of attention today.
That's nothing.
So sweet!
Enough!
We're still not official yet, you can't sing now.
- Where was I? - Doyok.
- Yes, Suci. - I heard you're interested...
...and know a lot about politics.
How did you know?
I read about your data in our sub-district office.
Did you read about my debt, too?
I didn't see anything.
What I found instead is that you won a debate competition last year.
How did you...
...become so right?
Speaking of that, I want to invite you.
They will have a politic debate competition at sub-district level.
The winner will run as the next mayor by independent path...
...which will be carried by the people of this sub-district.
Are you interested?
Sound's good. I'm in. For you.
Really? Thank you so much.
- I will register you. - Alright.
You surely win.
What happened to you?
- You're not calm anymore around me. - What do you mean?
I can't work, can't concentrate...
...can't think straight, and my cholesterol level is very high.
All thanks to Doyok who ruined our relationship.
What relationship?
Don't play dumb. There's no CCTV here.
Sorry, sir. But there's nothing between us anymore.
Listen to me. So that's your decision?
Fine. Then I won't pay your apartment instalment.
But, I don't have an apartment.
Wait, what is it then?
Then I won't pay your motorcycle instalment.
I don't have one, either.
Which one I haven't paid?
You still owe me money from the ketoprak I bought you yesterday.
That. I won't pay for that.
Whatever. I don't care.
Suci!
Oh, my God!
Got me scared!
Care for a drink?
Later.
Anything I can do for you, sir?
I know you're joining...
...the debate competition at this sub-district. Am I right?
- How did you know? - I am the Camat!
Look!
I can make you to be the winner.
But with one condition. Stay away from Suci.
Easy, isn't it?
I can't, sir. My heart belongs to Suci.
Think about it. How long have I been waiting for this?
I pray every day and night, my late mother always came in my sleep.
- In my 40 years of... - Hey, I don't want to hear your life story.
Remember what I've just said.
Now, leave this place!
There's the door.
You don't have to beat around the bush.
- I knew it already. - You knew?
I know the door is over there.
Mayor Future Candidates Debate Competition
Let us start this year's mayor future candidates debate competition.
For two Balon, please stand at your podium.
Hey, what is this?
Balon is Bakal Calon (Candidates). Not Banci Salon (Beauty Shop Drag Queen).
Get down!
Wild!
Both mayor candidates, please get on the stage.
I love you, Doyok!
- Are you ready? - Hold on, sir.
- What's wrong? - Ali, Otoy, come here!
Let's get there.
Who are these people? Who are you?
Who is this guy? Can't he stop talking?
- I don't know. Nobody perhaps. - Read this.
Yes, sir! Okay, standby!
Camera? Sound?
- Please, sir. - And action!
Sorry, but this is just a waste of time
There's only one real contestant in this debate competition
Dude like this won't understand politics
Bet he doesn't know the difference between comma and period
You don't know about municipal
I'd rather debate with Mimi Peri
Bureaucracy is difficult and not easy
You need insight, money, and face
Are we doing politic or fashion debate?
Spinning your words into meaningless
You bring cheap talks on the table
Are you debating or flirting?
Ladies and gentlemen, calm down
I am loyal and never betray
You don't know about municipal?
Please be patient, this is just a test
Politicians...
...can't be empty in the head
Statesman...
...should be a friend
Don't act...
...selfish
Just making yourself rich...
...and enjoy it yourself
The winner of this debate competition will be announced by our Camat.
Mr. Wongso Rumekso.
Following the debate competition...
...according to the judges' decision, and discussion result...
...and the highest score from the audience...
...we've decided that the winner is...
Doyok!
Okay...
The winner is Pandji Pascagiwaksono!
But no one shouted Pandji.
- Everyone supports Doyok. - Pandji!
Only two of them.
That's okay. Two still counts.
Pandji!
Why are you following them?
Nothing. We just want to go home with some money.
Pandji!
Please say your thanks to your supporters.
I've predicted my victory, so thanks to all my supporters.
Also those who didn't support me. And my baby.
You will be a wife of a mayor soon.
Suci...
Gosh. This is so tragic.
She used you.
She wanted me to make you lose...
...so his boyfriend can won.
Are politics forever cruel?
Let it go, Doyok. Everybody knows you're the winner.
But this is better than knowing this later.
What if it's been going for too long that you can't forget about her?
But you know what's the best thing we should do right now, Toy?
- What? - Vacation.
- Vacation? - Anything. Sightseeing. Picnic.
I don't even have any money to feed myself tomorrow.
Just maybe, our word is a prayer.
- Ali! - What?
I won the quiz! We won a trip to the beach!
- Seriously? - Yeah! Look at this!
This is all thanks to you. You itchy pervert!
You were right to choose me.
No, I was right to choose you.
Toy? I told you.
Why don't you come with us, too? You can sell instant noodle there.
Selling instant noodle on a beach? I don't have any bowl.
How should I make them?
Inside my mouth?
With some cabbage?
- Don't forget the spice. - And some crackers too. It's good.
Here, use a straw to stir it.
Now pour some hot water in it.
No one orders fried noodle.
- Cungkring! - Yeah, Gramps?
Why the long face? We're going on a vacation.
Where are the others?
- Hurry up! - I know. Relax.
What took you so long?
Are you going to a beach or moving?
Gramps, can I come, too?
No more room inside the van. Do you want to sit on the exhaust?
Go away. Or I'll feed you to piranhas.
You guys stinks, didn't you take a bath or something?
Dad, there's no piranhas in the sea. They live in the river.
I don't care. Do you own the sea?
I don't care where they live, do you make their ID or what?
Let's go inside.
You should stop eating catfish, or you will get heart attack.
Who the heck moved the door? How can I get in?
Turn around, Dad.
- See? - Why did I have to turn around?
The ocean smells so good.
- Ali. - Yeah?
Don't be itchy for other girls.
But if don't get itchy, you won't win that quiz.
I'm going to get you!
You can't yell at me for a week if I got you!
No, she has a boyfriend.
Now that's a beauty!
You look hideous, Toy.
Yok, switch with me. I can't run anymore.
Chasing is tiring.
I'd rather be chased than having to chase.
Stop that bullshit, Yok.
Ali! Help me!
What is it?
I got an idea.
- Oh, my God. - Hey.
You said you want to be chased?
Here. Hey, doggy, chase this guy!
- Oh, my God! - Chase him, doggy!
What flavor? Strawberry? Vanilla? Or my secret flavor?
I'll have the chocolate one, sweet just like me.
I'll have the vanilla one.
Don't worry, it's on me.
Are you serious?
You're so nice, rich, and cute.
Don't make me blush.
Just grab more if you want. You can have the whole cart too if you like.
- Gramps. Remember to pay my school bill. - Crap!
- You haven't paid for three months. - Shut up! I'll rip your mouth.
- Don't forget, gramps. - Whose kid is that?
Don't be arrogant, you poor man.
- Here's your money. Thank you. - Damn that Cungkring.
- So you're going to buy my cart? - Hell no.
- I'll make you blind! - I have one, too.
Go shave your head with a shovel!
- What's that? - Sunblock.
- What for? - So our skin doesn't get burned.
Did you use a toothpaste?
A dab of toothpaste can heal burns, sunlight is nothing compared to that.
Wait, you're right.
It's cold.
Feels refreshing, right?
Can't answer. Sleeping.
You sleep but you talk. Weirdo.
So what are we going to do now?
Right now, we just enjoy the scenery.
Look, beautiful things everywhere.
But don't hope too much. None of them would want you anyway.
How did Ali get there?
That's Ali Oncom for you. Didn't you read Pos Kota?
Hei, Ali! Get back here.
Calm down.
It's the chair, not me. Naughty.
Yeah, the chair's fault?
This is heavyweight class, definitely my type.
You can't get all the girls.
The fastest one wins.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Eli never touched me again since Cungkring was born.
Gosh.
She's coming here.
- Hi. - Hello.
- Can I join you guys? - Sure.
The weather is fine today.
I'm Monique.
Ali Oncom. The most handsome person in the world.
Otoy. A romantic man, still single, with 170 IQ.
170? You wish.
I think that's your wife calling.
And you are?
I'm Doyok.
Why are you laughing? Does my name sound funny to you?
Not your name, but you.
- Lets' grab some coconut, Li. - Nope!
- But I'm thirsty. - No way!
- Come on, quick. - Hey, where are you going?
That's him!
- We're having a small party. - Small party?
It would be fun with the three of you.
Toy, it's fun with three person.
What are you talking about?
Never mind them. They don't know togetherness.
Amateurs.
- Come on. - Let's go.
So is it a formal party?
Yeah, are we okay with this outfit? Do we need to change?
Do you have any other outfit than this?
Well, no.
Did you see me change my clothes?
Well, then I'm going to be fair. None of us will change clothes.
- What are you doing? - You said you're going to be fair.
If I take off my clothes, then you should, too.
There's a time for that later.
Yes!
Hey, sweetie.
Let's enjoy the rest of our lives as if we will die tomorrow!
We will die tomorrow!
But should a good food like this make our head spin?
Well, my head's a bit spinning.
No, I don't feel anything!
Damn...
I'm so gassy with ocean air.
- Back home already, sir? - Yeah. Going on patrol today?
His face looks unpleasant, did he not get paid or what?
You should look at my face, I just lost my husband.
Oh God, my belly.
- Cungkring! - It's like I'm making porridge in my belly.
Otoy!
Otoy? Cungkring?
Are they inside?
They're not inside.
Wait. What if we call the police?
Why should you call the police for a lousy husband like that?
Hey, don't be like that.
Let me tell you something, since he's not here.
I really love him. You love him too, right?
I love Otoy? I don't even want to think about him.
But I love my smart grandson, Cungkring.
He can go home by himself.
But that's the problem. Cungkring is also missing.
I'm worried about Ali, too.
- Let's just call the police. - Let's go.
Go call the police then. I don't care.
So how about us?
Come here.
I think I have a plan.
What's that?
See the big man over there.
Yeah? So?
See his face and tell me what you think.
- Risoles. - Bakwan?
What's the common thing between them?
They're fritters.
What exactly are you trying to tell us?
Oily. Both are oily.
We can use the grease on his face.
I know! You want to start a business selling fritters?
Lend me your ear.
- I agree. - Me, too.
- You talk to him. - Okay.
Let's scoot over.
- Wait, I can't move. - Sorry.
- Sorry, sir. - Yeah?
Do you want to leave this place?
How?
Grease up the cuffs.
- Where can I get the grease? - From your face.
How?
Here's how we do it.
Excuse me.
There's so much grease. Like a Cucur.
- Here it is, Toy. - Did this guy have a diet of palm oil?
It's so greasy.
- Don't move. - And three!
Release mine now, Li.
Why? You don't need yours anymore?
My cuffs, you nuts. Hurry up!
- Feed it to a cat if you don't need it. - Hurry up! Ouch!
See? I'm free.
- Now open mine. - Okay. Excuse me.
Ouch! It hurts!
- It's hard. - Release this.
I can't believe it. You got very bulky hands.
I bet a side oil can't even help this.
Bulky? Can't you see my body?
Just look at the bright side. Your face is oil-free now.
- Clear. As if it's rinsed with Wudu. - Yeah, your face looks brighter.
Don't you mess with me.
Guys!
They are newcomers who tried to use me.
Get out of here!
- Come here! Just come here! - What for?
Shut up! Do you want to die?
Close the door!
What room is this?
- What should we do now? - Call the police.
Yeah, but how?
Lower your voice.
Don't use your voice. They might hear us.
Then use what? Telepathy?
- Telepathy? - To call.
Toy. I saw a brain.
Add some Gulai and it's delicious.
You want rice with that?
And some crackers will be fine.
Run!
Sorry!
Let's go.
Taxi!
Get in here!
Toy?
What are these things?
Gosh.
I think they are organ traffickers.
I think it's for beauty products.
Stop it!
Whose eyes are those?
I don't know.
Mushy.
- What is this? - Don't drink that!
I'm not drinking it. But smell this.
- Smells like a pee. - Villagers.
You thought every coloured water is a tasty drink.
- Put it down. - I even drank a gasoline once.
Wait. Can you make a molotov?
Do I look like a terrorist?
You look like an idiot instead.
We should create a molotov to arm ourselves to safe Doyok.
Do you know how to make it?
Nope. Just mix everything up. I'm sure it will explode.
This is too silent. Let's add some music.
- You're right. - Do it.
I don't know what this is.
Wait a minute.
And now...
...we add this.
It's exploding.
Cool.
Where are you going, lady? Going to some Dangdut concert?
Where are you going? Hanging out?
Your face looks...
What are you doing?
Li, chill out. I'm still your friend, Otoy.
There's a dirt here, Toy. You thought we're going to kiss, right?
Hello? What are you doing to me?
You will become a hero.
All your organs, skin...
...will benefit to the beauty of every women in the world.
Thank you.
But this is for you too, men.
Because you like to see...
...and have beautiful women.
To me, inner beauty is more important than the outside.
Shut up!
- Assalamualaikum. - Waalaikumsalam
We can't find them. The police make it hard for us. We should return in two days.
It's all good now. My grandson is home.
Cungkring! My baby!
You made me worry! Don't do that again. You should've tell me you're home...
- Mom. We should save Dad. - What?
Where is your Dad?
- He's at the hospital. We should hurry. - Oh my God, the hospital?
What happened to him?
- Mom... - What?
He's not sick. But he's being kidnapped in an abandoned hospital.
Along with Ali and Doyok. I saw a lot of man being held there, too.
- How did you know? - I followed them.
They met at the beach. They were invited to some party.
They drank a lot and then passed out.
And then they carried them in a car. So I hid inside the trunk.
They were brought to an abandoned hospital.
And I can hear screams from other men being locked up there.
Good morning!
This is getting out of hand.
Okay, I will gather all the wives who have lost their husbands.
And we will meet there.
- Come on, let's go! - Go help her.
- Yuli! Bring some weapons! - Yeah!
It's clear.
There's a room.
Looks like hair salon.
Looks real.
I look pretty. I look like my mom.
Sure do, honey.
- Someone's coming. - Gosh.
- How do we... - Wear this.
Let's go out.
- Hey! - Hi!
- Come on, let's go. - Wait, where are you going?
What happened to you?
I'm so sad.
Why?
Don't you feel that sometimes...
...we didn't get paid enough?
To buy powders...
...blush on, lipstick.
Yeah, you're right.
I need to have two jobs!
Do you want to come with me to Taman Lawang?
No, thanks. If you're going out there, don't come back too late at night.
- Or Boss will be mad at you. - Relax.
We're going home tomorrow morning. Bye!
Cungkring, are you sure this is the place?
- Of course. Just pound the gate. - Do they have dogs inside?
Why do you have to ask that? Are you afraid of dogs?
No, I'm just ashamed.
- Hurry up, Mom. - Yeah, let's go.
- One, two, three! - Stay away.
- Who was that? - Continue.
- Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure.
Wives, let's save our husbands!
Where's your Dad? Is this a massage parlour?
- He's dead if this is a massage parlour. - There's a lot of curtains here.
Where are the kidnappers? I will finish them.
Who are those guys?
Hey!
Come on! Face me one at a time!
Eli!
This is me, your husband!
Otoy, I miss you so much.
I'm sorry, I will never ask any money from you again.
I'm now this.
- This is money? - Love!
So sweet.
There's the bad guy.
Don't touch me. You're disgusting.
You're so mean!
Sorry. But I can't let you leave this place.
Shut up. You won't even dare, come and face us!
Face my daughter if you dare.
Why me?
Your bones are still strong, mines are weak. Go fight her!
Are you going to face me or what?
- Watch out! - You dare to shot my father!
Eat this!
Kick her ass!
Cool!
- Wait, who are they? This is bad! - El, come here.
I was joking. No need to be angry.
It's not personal. Where are they?
There! They are the kidnappers!
Now the tables have turned.
Look. She kidnapped our husbands.
- What should we do to them? - Attack!
Charge!
You're playing rough!
Yuli!
Yul.
Why did you hit me?
Ali!
Why do you dress like a woman?
It's a long story. You okay?
- I'm okay. - Yul.
Let's find Doyok.
Stand behind me.
Yul, whatever happens, you should stay behind me.
- Hey! Let go of Doyok! - What the...
- That's my girl. - Calm down, I didn't do anything.
Liar.
I had a feeling he's not like any other guys.
He's not a player.
- He's a good guy. - Idiot!
He wakes up.
That's mine.
You still want some?
Yuck! Disgusting!
Okay, I lose.
But...
...your naughty husbands will still betray you.
Don't worry about that. God will punish them.
Through their wives!
Loser!
Funny, isnt' it?
- Who, me? - You nuts.
- Asmuni? Oppie Kumis? - No!
- What's wrong? - Nothing. Just want to do that.
I mean, it's funny seeing how this world works.
What do you mean? - I was trying to found a soulmate.
But instead of finding one, I reunite people with their soulmates.
Don't worry, Doyok. Don't be sad. I will look for another one for you.
No, thanks!
Just tell me what's your type.
Sharp on the front or in the back?
If she meets my front teeth, we'll crash.
- But I'm still handsome, right? - Not at all.
- Look like you've strucked by lightning. - That's because I've just back from beach.
The movie is about to end, but I'm still single.
Can you imagine how the audience leave with disappointment...
...because I still haven't found my soulmate.
I always found many suolmates in my previous movies.
Why don't you date a guy?
She's still here.
- Isn't this the shemale? - Yeah.
Doyok, help me out, please.
You mean there was not a single lightning strike since yesterday, sir...
I mean, miss?
Oh, my God.
Hey! Come here!