THE STORY OF MY YOUTH.
In the era of internet...
the world is enjoying porn on their smartphones.
But Sunny is an old-school purist,
who prefers adult literature.
Yeah, Pappi.
Sunny, hurry up!
Meet Mr. Sunil Bhateja.
He's been cleverly living in his friend, Goldie's house for the past 30 years.
He's almost divorced.
You can call him a helpless husband or a concerned father.
I am running late.
The book's awesome.
When is the next edition coming out?
Really?
Okay, I'll meet you in college. Bye.
Hurry up.
Just a minute, Papa!
Hey, Sunny!
What on earth are you doing in there?
I'll be late to the office!
Don't you have to go to college?
I was just pooping. I'm feeling constipated.
You feel constipated every bloody day!
What are you eating?
Aren't you running late? Go on.
You're up early today?
What?
You're up early today.
I get up early every day.
I guess, I get up late.
Her father wakes up early as well!
And you!
Why the hell do you have to go up there every morning?
You give this idiot an excuse--
Hey!
Where did he go?
What's wrong? Why are you yelling?
The same thing!
The rascal's hitting on her!
I'll deal with him!
Let's finish this! Stay right there!
Meet Mrs. Darshan Bhateja.
Nearly 30 years ago, during the golden era of Doordarshan...
she had an accident.
She has been in a coma ever since.
Yes.
Hey, Sunil!
I don't know.
Hey, Sunil!
We need to talk!
What's wrong, Goldie? Why are you yelling?
What's wrong?
Talk to your son.
He hits on my daughter every day.
Come here.
What is he saying?
What?
Papa, I was brushing my teeth.
She was standing there. It's not my fault.
But she must be standing in her own home.
Why don't you brush your teeth in the bathroom in front of the mirror?
But you were pooping in there.
-What is this pooping? -Sunil, I've had it.
Next time I will report this to the police.
You'll report such a trivial matter to the police?
Does our friendship mean nothing to you?
Okay, fine. I'll let him off the hook this time.
But I won't be so generous next time.
You have been living here all these years.
-We pay the rent. 800 rupees every month! -Shut up.
-Wow! -What?
800 rupees!
You call that rent?
What can you buy for 800 rupees?
Fine, we'll vacate the place.
-Pack your stuff! -Not at all, brother.
Wait a minute.
That is not what he meant.
He means to say that 800 rupees isn't enough!
We pay our maid 2,500 rupees every month.
You're embarrassing me, sister-in-law.
I keep telling you that we'll leave as soon as Mom recovers.
Try to understand. We've spent our childhood here.
Why don't you spend the rest of your life here as well?
Let's do one thing.
Why don't we leave this place? Is that okay?
The thing about his mom is, who knows when she will recover.
Please talk to him, sister-in-law?
-What is he saying-- -No, no. I won't talk to him.
You two fight and patch up the next day.
I'm the one who ends up being the bad cop.
I don't want to interfere.
But, if you don't mind, I want to say something.
Now that Priya isn't here,
this boy's getting out of hand.
You always get me humiliated.
Yeah?
Is there anyone else in the house you would like to invite?
I just came here to check if everything's fine...
I know what you're here to check.
Go back!
Can I get some breakfast?
Yes, there's some flatbread and potato curry.
-Let's go and eat. -Yes.
Send him some breakfast as well.
I won't eat.
I'll send four flatbreads, with extra butter.
-Okay. -But none for him.
Idiot!
You've destroyed my reputation.
Meet Sunil's daughter Sweety.
She often gets to the school after the gate is shut.
And this is Bunty, it's very difficult to understand him.
You can try.
We're late yet again!
How are we gonna get in?
Just like we do every day.
Why do schools build these high walls?
I've to scale it every day.
Yeah, I feel they increase the height every day.
Yes, ma'am?
Mr. Bunty, our company is willing to give you a loan
on behalf of the bank.
How much can I get?
How much do you need, sir?
Would you like some fritters?
With a cold drink?
Of course.
Okay, yeah...
can I get a loan of 250 rupees?
Are you joking, sir?
We can give you a loan of 250,000 rupees.
And who's gonna repay it? Your father?
Hang up!
Why are you screaming?
These bloody dicks from the bank keep offering me loans!
Kneel.
-Okay. -Great.
Come on.
How am I supposed to climb?
Bro!
Come here.
Can you bend over for a minute?
Out here?
Let's go home.
I want to scale this wall and go to school.
Come on. Bend over.
Okay, I get it.
Not like that.
I mean--
Move.
Down. Down.
Great.
Now, wait.
-Up! -Think about it one more time.
You won't have to scale a wall at home.
Come on.
I'll take you to the Principal's office!
Is your house available?
Let's go.
Meet Pappi, Sunny's friend, philosopher and guide.
A brilliant student of Hindi honors.
He's an obscene obscenity expert!
And the sole supplier of Sunny's adult literature.
-We're late. Hurry up. -Come on.
We'll be in trouble!
-Where were you? -We're here. We're here.
Do you need my permission to walk into a toilet?
The class is next door! Idiot!
I thought he is waiting for us.
Let's go.
Bro, I need to use the bathroom.
But what about the Hindi lecture--
-But we're already here... -Come on.
Students, today we'll...
study about Soundarya Rass in Hindi Literature.
Welcome.
I'm really blessed to have you in my class.
Why are you late?
We had to use the bathroom.
We won't be late again.
Frequent trips to the bathroom could be a symptom of diabetes.
Get a health checkup.
And maintain the dignity of this class.
Don't turn it into a restroom.
Take a seat.
You wait.
I had the privilege of checking your examination sheet.
You were asked to write an essay on festivals.
"Sister's wild celebration!" Really?
You either forget or you misplace your vowels.
You are really shabby!
I fail to understand who gave you this.
I mean who gave you Hindi honors?
You did, sir.
Well, I admit I was wrong.
Take your seat.
And try to learn something nice.
Alliterations.
"She steals the heart of a heart-stealer with her capricious glance."
Amazing.
This old man's going to bore us.
-I have the latest edition for you. -Really?
-Hey, move. -There's another example of this.
Chester Cheetah chews a chunk of cheap cheddar cheese.
-First edition. Yeah! -My juicy neighbor.
-Open it. Open it. -Yes.
I mean the sound "C" is being repeated...
over and over again.
Sounds so beautiful, right?
"C" with different vowels.
The "C" word is being used extensively in our book as well.
"C" with different vowels.
What are you doing?
Where are you? Are you at college?
I am in class.
I am studying. Don't disturb me.
Okay, fine. Continue studying, son.
What are you studying?
-I am in a lecture right now. -Let's read this.
My Hindi's a little weak, so--
-The alliterations are important. -Alliterations.
We were studying about alliterations.
I'll talk to you later.
What book are you reading?
Sir, Soundarya Rass.
MY JUICY NEIGHBOR
My juicy neighbor?
-It's the first edition, sir. -Part one.
Which college is it available in?
Ours, sir.
Can I read it?
-Keep it, sir. It's all yours. -Thank you.
Forgive us.
Thank you.
Sir, why did you call me?
I was getting bored.
I thought why not play some Ludo with you.
-What do you mean, sir? -What do you think?
Do you know what your son does in college?
Ask him.
He studies, sir.
What does he study?
Literature.
Literature, sir.
Let me show you what your son is studying.
MY JUICY NEIGHBOR
This is what your son was studying.
No, sir.
I spoke to him this morning and he was reading his books--
I--
My son won't read this.
You think I'm lying?
Sir...
please forgive him this time.
He's just a child.
I'll be grateful.
I'll forgive him!
I'll forgive him.
Take this dice.
Roll a six and I'll forgive him.
But if you can't roll a six...
I'll break his legs...
and he will never forget it.
Roll a six.
Six!
Get up!
How did you roll a six?
Luck, sir.
Actually, you roll it with your hands.
You should try using this.
It really helps.
-Are you sure? -Keep trying, sir.
Try it, sir.
Get out.
If you do this again, I will rusticate you.
-He won't do it, sir. -Leave.
-Thank you, sir. -I said leave.
-I'll get rid of it, sir. -No, I'll do it.
These things don't suit your age.
-Please leave. -Okay.
Send Pappi.
Let's play some Ludo with him as well.
Papa, how did you roll a six?
Shut up!
"How did you roll a six?"
Focus on your studies!
Goldie's always complaining about you.
You've been hitting on his daughter.
Have you seen yourself?
Why are you hitting on the poor girl?
He begs all day.
-"Please, say yes. Say yes." -You shut up.
I'm getting complaints about you as well!
You're late to school every day!
If you two don't want to study, please spare me.
You schools are expensive!
And your books are expensive enough to bankrupt me!
And books remind me...
where do you get these adult books?
Laugh all you want, son.
You'll realize the importance of education in the future
when you line up for unemployment benefits!
Are you getting it?
Your father topped his class for four years in a row.
Four years!
I'm not joking.
Sometimes, I feel that your mother is divorcing me because of you two.
Who is it?
Mom.
Answer it. I am not the father who asks his children to pick a side.
Answer it, mama's boy.
Yes, Mom.
I am fine.
Yeah, Sweety's fine as well.
I don't know about him.
-Yeah, why would you know? -Yes.
Your mother never calls me.
She always calls him.
You talk to her.
I don't want to.
Great, let me talk.
Okay, Mom.
What?
Okay, fine.
What happened? Why are you shocked?
Mom says she's filing for divorce.
Nice! When is she sending the paperwork?
Tell her I am not going to sign it!
Are you getting me?
She was the one who left!
She has to come back, sit and talk to me.
Then, I'll think about it.
Why don't you tell her yourself?
Stop making tall claims behind her back.
"I'll do this! I'll do that!"
Hey!
Is this the way you talk to your father?
Am I Pappi?
What is this language?
You don't even let me eat properly.
Have you lost it?
Did you have to say that?
You shut up.
This has been going on for the past six months.
Mom sends divorce papers every month...
but he doesn't sign them.
And who has to bear the brunt?
The two of us.
You don't know anything.
Meet Priya.
Once upon a time, she used to be the darling of Old Delhi Chandni Chowk.
She has lost faith in marriage.
Mr. Malhotra didn't check his mail.
Yes, that's the reason there was a delay.
Yes. Yes. No, sir.
Where is Sunil?
Call him!
I'll call you back in a while, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yeah...
tell me!
I am standing right here!
Sunny told me everything.
That bloody...
Speak up!
Why are you quiet?
Did the cat get your tongue?
This is my office. Calm down.
Why should I?
Nice!
You get a new secretary as soon as I leave you!
Why didn't you just tell me?
That you want to marry her!
And you...
don't marry this man.
He will bore you to death
with his words and his snoring.
Sir, what is she saying?
Please, wait outside.
Get these signed and send an email.
And close the door.
I won't sign the papers.
I can get you father to sign it as well!
Fine, meet him in heaven and get the papers signed.
Are you getting me?
Every week you show up with these fake documents.
Talk to me!
Let's end these emotions first if you have the guts.
I'll sign these papers in two minutes.
Do you think I am crazy?
"Don't do this! Don't do that!"
"Come home immediately after you leave the office!"
And before we got married...
"Darling, you can do this, do that."
What happened?
Yeah, so what? Do you remember your lines?
"I'll cook delicious okra for you! You won't stop licking your fingers!"
Who makes okra with gravy?
Or cauliflower with gravy?
Fine, I don't know how to cook.
I don't know.
Just sign the bloody divorce papers.
Fine. Come back next week.
-I'll sign them. -Really?
I'm not asking for a donation.
"Come back next week."
Fine!
Give me the papers, I'll sign them.
Let's do this.
You--
Will you sign the papers?
I will sign them.
I knew it!
I knew you wanted to sign them.
This is what you want.
You want to get rid of me!
You want to marry your secretary!
You've ruined my life!
What do you want, Priya?
Do you want me to sign the papers or not?
Or should I die contemplating if I should I sign the papers or not?
Just tell me what you want!
Alright.
I need a week.
What will you do in a week?
What will you do?
Let's just get this out of the way.
Let's finish it.
My mother got me in this mess.
She's the culprit.
She said, "She studies with you in school.
You two look so cute together.
Marry her."
How would I know that the cute girl would be so stubborn,
that she would follow me to the office!
I followed you?
You were the one who followed me!
My photo...
Oh, my God!
You put a tape on my picture.
That was a mistake, Priya.
I've had enough of this!
All these years, I didn't say a word because of Mom.
Now it's over!
Next time, I'll get the papers and I'll get your signature!
Go to hell.
Go to hell!
-It was a mistake, Priya. -Get lost.
Idiot!
Here we go.
See you tomorrow.
Where's your girlfriend?
Her father's right here.
Hello, Uncle!
He's always in a bad mood.
He thinks his daughter is Ms. World.
-Okay, fine. -Okay, fine. Bye.
See you, Uncle, bye.
Let's take a selfie with my sexy grandma.
Straighten your face.
You have a great life, Grandma.
You don't have to worry about food...
or work.
All you have to do is sleep peacefully!
Get back, Grandma.
Why do you hide these under your bed?
You?
What are you doing here?
Forget about me.
-What's happening down there? -What?
Your girlfriend's parents are looking for her.
Where is she?
-Did she elope with someone else? -Hey--
Son, you've got--
Oh, dear Lord.
There she is!
If her father finds out, he's not going to spare you.
He won't spare me either.
You know what, get out of here.
Tell your father that you were on the roof.
Go on!
Will we be in trouble?
You should have thought about that before coming here.
If you stay here, you will definitely be in trouble!
Go on. Keep your head down.
Where did she go?
-What's wrong? -Have you seen Twinkle?
No. I was sleeping.
I wonder where she is.
Hey!
Do you know where Twinkle is?
I don't know. She must be downstairs.
I don't see her.
Pappi, have you seen her?
Yeah. No.
How would he know?
She might be upstairs getting the clothes.
What's wrong, Papa?
-What are you doing up there? -Getting the clothes.
Come here!
Why the hell are you always up there?
Come here!
Hey!
Why do you always have your eyes on my daughter?
You seem to know everything about her!
Should I walk around with my eyes closed?
Insolent kid. I'll slap you.
Auntie-- Go inside.
Calm down.
-Why are you apologizing? -Stop it. Sorry. Sorry.
We'll be late for school.
Forget this wreck.
I'll drop you guys.
Why? Do you have a problem with my scooter?
No, I have a problem with you!
I'm not fond of you either!
Bloody Old Delhi folk.
You used to visit Old Delhi all the time when you were trying to woo me.
-I was an idiot-- -Stop it, guys!
-You're fighting on the street! -I don't care.
I'm dropping you guys off. End of discussion.
Auntie, I'm coming with you.
See? He understands a mother's love!
No, I just love the bike.
Get down! Get down!
Get on that wreck.
You can rot here.
Mom!
Get lost.
Bloody biker!
Uncle, why don't you buy a bike?
Why do you bring this turncoat along?
He switched sides!
Papa, I know he's crazy.
But what were you doing? You were fighting on the street!
What was I doing? Is this my fault?
Our scooter broke down and she wanted to pick a fight!
Who's texting you?
It's Mom.
What is she saying?
Cover your ears.
She is saying that after the divorce you and Sunny will stay with me.
What? I won't divorce her!
How can you live with her?
Why don't you sign on the divorce papers?
Just get on the scooter.
-I'll sign the papers. -Mind your own business!
Read this.
This is the latest edition. Cheer up!
Bimla's Stories.
I don't want to.
Read it.
I don't want to!
Fine, no one's forcing you to read.
But I will read it.
Listen up, Grandma.
Once upon a time...
there was an innocent kid.
His name was Sunny.
His name was Fatso. Read it.
I'm not making this up. It says, "Sunny".
"Not making this up."
Sunny crept into his neighbor, Mrs. Bimla's room.
Mrs. Bimla embraced Sunny as soon as she saw him.
She said...
"Sunny, why do you make me pine?"
Sunny took Mrs. Bimla to her bedroom.
He pushed Mrs. Bimla on her bed and whispered...
"Bimla, you are very beautiful!"
Very beautiful! Very beautiful!
Mrs. Bimla loved it.
She started moaning.
Moaning! Moaning!
As soon as Sunny touched Mrs. Bimla...
her hands...
started shivering.
Shivering! Shivering!
Her body was now shuddering.
Shuddering! Shuddering!
Mrs. Bimla whispered...
Whispered! Whispered!
Do you know what she said?
-What did she say? -Mrs. Bimla whispered...
What did she say?
Mrs. Bimla whispered...
Who is Bimla?
She has been possessed!
Who is Bimla?
Were you there when she woke up?
-Yeah. -No, Papa.
-No. -We were studying.
I mean, we were right outside.
And suddenly, we heard her screaming and shouting.
And we came in running.
-And we saw her, she was acting weird! -Very weird!
-And she fainted right after she saw us! -Right, fainted--
There's no need to worry.
She should regain consciousness by tomorrow.
She'll be conscious again?
You should be happy.
I am happy.
But, you see, she'll be waking up after 30 years--
-This is nothing short of a miracle. -Yes.
But make sure you don't stress her for the next couple of days.
She will be a little stressed. I mean, it's been 30 years.
I know you're right.
Give her some time.
Like a week or two.
You can gradually tell her everything.
Okay.
Do you think she heard Bimla's story?
That's what I'm worried about.
Congratulations, brother. Auntie has finally woken up.
I am really delighted to hear that she is awake.
But how did this miracle happen?
How would I know? I'm as surprised as you are.
But the doctor said--
No, brother, please let us meet her.
You can't meet her right now. She is fine.
But she isn't awake yet.
Doesn't matter. We'll meet with her later.
Look, your mom is awake.
That's all that matters.
Will you vacate my home?
What the hell is wrong with you, man?
Don't you have some humanity left?
Calm down, Papa!
Okay, fine. You can take your time.
Calm down, man.
Auntie will be really happy to see you and me again.
Right?
Our childhood friendship!
We were born in this house.
We grew up together.
She had grandkids in this house.
Just do one more thing,
-convince Priya to come back! -Right!
Your family will be complete.
Answer my question, Goldie.
When did Mom slip into a coma?
-Uncle died in... -In 88.
-So a year after that, in 89. -Right.
After that, I got married and had these kids.
Today, I am going through a divorce.
If I dump all this new information on her, she will be shocked!
The doctor says it could be fatal!
And even if I bring Priya back,
-you will end up ruining it! -Calm down, Papa!
No, please don't tell her about your divorce.
You can say that you're not married.
-Tell her that I am not married? -No.
-Really? -Yeah!
Do you have to interfere?
I was just saying--
"Don't tell her about the divorce."
What do you mean? Where did these kids come from?
No.
Brother...
but...
what are you gonna do with the kids?
That is exactly what I'm worried about.
I wanted to request you if you can keep them at your place for a few days
I'll be very happy. Please say yes.
I'm not letting him in my house!
He's always stuck to my daughter like glue.
I don't want to live with him either!
He's so arrogant, just because he has a beautiful daughter.
Has he ever seen his face?
Insolent kid. I'll slap you.
I'll punch you.
-Just punch him. -Yes, I will.
I'm prepared to be your servant, but I'll not live with him.
Right.
That's great.
What?
-Your problem's solved. -What?
He's your servant.
Auntie has never seen him, right?
Bless you!
Now, you're going to be my servant.
And brother, you will have to help me.
We've to recreate 1989!
The world's mood keeps swinging
A band around a finger Is known as a ring
The world's mood keeps swinging
A band around a finger Is known as a ring
You never know How quickly things change
How do I tell you What the true colors of this world are?
It's colorful, it's good and bad, Sometimes, it's black and sometimes white
Sorry for the interruption
No interruption, please
Sometimes, it's selfish
Sometimes, it's as sweet as sugar
Sometimes, it's selfish
Sometimes, it's as sweet as sugar
The world's been reduced to a selfie
The family photo weeps in the corner
Relationships are now emotionless, Lord
Everyone's running after money
No matter how much you lie
Every pocket's got a hole
Sorry for the interruption
Papa, when will she wake up?
It's morning.
How would I know? I am not a doctor.
Let me call the doctor.
That phone doesn't work.
It's fake. It's for Grandma.
Sorry, I completely forgot.
Where is my cell phone?
Why do you forget things, Papa?
Your phone's out there.
-I'll be right back. -Okay.
Lord, I hope Grandma hasn't heard...
What's wrong with you? It's just a few days!
Shut up.
Who's Chiku? Go and call Papa.
Papa, Grandma's awake and she wants Chiku.
Mom!
Mom, your Chiku is here.
You're awake.
Papa's nickname is Chiku?
We didn't know that.
What happened to me?
You had an accident.
You don't remember anything...
but you're alright, Mom.
It's fine.
I--
I remember something.
If she remembers what happened 30 years ago...
she must definitely remember about yesterday.
Mom!
What is it, Mom?
You've gained weight.
Well, I--
I've got a thyroid problem, so I've put on some weight.
Mom, you weren't awake. You were unconscious.
So, I had employed them to take care of you.
Now that you're fine, they will look after you.
-Yes, I will. -You both will, right?
It's okay, dear. Go, get back to work.
Let me talk to my mother.
Mom...
You should learn how to cook.
You might have to cook for her!
You can't feed her food from the restaurant.
And you...
you should learn how to clean and dust.
It's okay. Okay.
-Is that better? -Yeah.
Are you comfortable?
But my body...
it...
feels frozen like ice.
-Let me rub your palms. -Frozen.
Is this better?
Oh, God!
Is it fine?
My hands!
My hands feel frail like old people.
My nerves are starting to show.
No, Mom.
This--
This is due to low calcium and vitamins.
You've been in this bed just for the past six months.
Six months?
You took care of me for six months?
You cleaned my potty and pee?
It doesn't matter, Mom.
You used to clean up after me.
Me cleaning up after you is not a big deal.
Why are you crying?
I am better now.
Yes, Mom.
Don't worry.
What's wrong, Mom?
My vision...
it's blurred.
I guess my eyes have become weak.
-Get me my glasses. -Yes, I will.
I'll get you a pair of glasses as soon as I can.
Okay. Get some rest, Mom.
I'll see you.
What's wrong, Mom?
What's wrong?
Do you know Bimla?
Who's Bimla?
Bimla is Pappi's mom.
How does my mom know Pappi's mom?
They've never met.
I don't know.
She has been in a coma for 30 years. Maybe she dreamt about her.
Strange.
-Sorry. Sorry, Pappi. -Hey!
-Stop! I will clobber you with this shoe. -Sorry, man!
Stop!
Sorry, man.
What the hell do you mean by Bimla is my mom?
What could I do?
Your mom was the first thing that popped up in my mind.
Really?
-You and your father should thank me. -Why?
Thanks to Bimla's story...
your grandma, who has been in a coma for the past 30 years, woke up.
And thanks to your Bimla, my father's made me the servant.
Really?
And what role is Sweety playing?
Are you serious or are you kidding?
Seriously.
She is the maid of the house!
And, Papa?
Papa, wait!
Don't forget Grandma's glasses?
Am I looking like a schoolboy?
Fix your tie!
You can't be dressed shabbily for school.
I always get nervous about going to school.
Wait.
Okay.
Mom, wait a minute.
What are you doing?
Please don't get up. You need to rest for a month.
And you can get up after that.
Tell me if you need anything.
I mean, once you're better
you'll be fit enough to go for a jog.
Here are your glasses.
-You brought my glasses? -Yes.
Can you wear them on your own? Try it.
Try doing these little things on your own.
Great.
Isn't that great, Mom?
This is much better.
Look at her!
Princess is rocking herself on the chair.
Hey!
Does that chair belong to your father?
Get up!
Sit on the ground.
On the ground.
Where is the other one?
He's sleeping, Auntie.
I wonder where you found these pigeons?
Go get some stuffed bread for my Chiku.
Yes, Auntie.
How many pieces would you like, sir?
Do you prefer more potatoes?
I prefer more potatoes--
Wait a minute.
What do you mean by how many?
Chiku always eats four pieces of stuffed bread.
Four pieces.
Go ahead, make four.
Get in your character.
Hello, Auntie.
Here comes the other one.
Why are you late?
It's okay, Mom.
-He's a-- -Don't worry.
It's okay.
-Forget about him. -Okay.
-You're going to school, right? -Yes, Mom.
And listen to me, don't talk to Goldie.
-And why didn't his parents come see me? -I won't.
He--
His parents...
They are on a pilgrimage.
What?
They are on a pilgrimage, Mom.
I used to think people go on a pilgrimage when they grow old.
But these idiots...
Forget it.
You know what--
-Help me up. -Yes.
Stay away from Goldie.
He smokes cigarettes.
-I've seen him with my own eyes. -Are you serious?
Stay away from him.
Don't talk to him.
You should...
go with Billo.
-She is a very sweet kid. -Yes.
Did she visit me?
-Yes, she did. -She did.
I am sure she did.
She loves me a lot.
I want to talk to her. Please call her.
Mom, I am getting late for school--
You aren't going to achieve anything in school anyway.
Go on, son. Please give her a call.
Please have your tea. Here you go.
Hello, Auntie, Sunil here.
Let me talk.
Wait a second.
The wire is too short, Mom. I can't get it there!
Okay, fine. Give her my regards.
Mom sends her regards.
Auntie, is Billo home?
Did she leave?
Yeah, I'm leaving for school as well.
Tell her to call me back when she returns.
Yes. Mom wants to talk to her.
Yes. Alright.
Sir, who is Billo?
She is a girl.
They study in the same school.
You remember Ms. Priya, right?
Mom, Billo's already left for school.
She'll be late. I'll tell you when she calls back.
Yes, tell her. And I want to meet her tomorrow!
Okay, Mom.
I'll bring her over.
-Bye, okay. -Okay, son.
Hey!
Come here.
Yes, Auntie.
Play some devotional songs.
I am in a big mess, Goldie.
I don't know what to do.
How do I get Priya here?
Mom keeps asking about her all the time!
"When is Priya coming?"
You want my advice?
Talk to her and bring her home.
"Talk to her and bring her home?"
Talk to her politely and bring her home, brother.
These days, she doesn't understand politeness.
-She is in a different zone. -Everyone understands love!
Am I right?
How would I know? Have you ever tried it?
Go inside.
What is she doing?
I played devotional songs for her. She's enjoying it.
That's all she's been doing these days.
Mothers are always helpless.
Enough, man!
I told you to go inside, Twinkle is alone in there!
Can I go?
Can I beat you up?
Brother, listen to me carefully.
Get off at the Red Fort...
and visit the Gauri Shankar temple.
Pray to God,
take the offerings and go straight to Priya.
I am telling you God will fix everything.
God is my last refuge.
I'll try this.
I have to get Priya home after all.
-Let's go, son. -Be polite with her, brother.
Let's enjoy devotional songs.
-Be polite with her, brother. -Yes.
-Be polite. -Stop it.
Be polite with her, brother.
She won't listen.
Come, son.
How are you?
I am happy to hear that Darshan's woken up.
How are you?
I am fine.
Hey, Priya.
Come back.
Please forgive me.
You've shaved your mustache.
You're wearing jeans.
You never listened to me when I asked you to do these.
I'll tell you why I did this.
But let's go home.
All couples fight.
Come on, forgive him.
Every couple fights.
It's okay.
All he did was shave his mustache.
Are you going to argue with him about his mustache for the rest of your life?
He's here just because his mother woke up.
Otherwise, he doesn't even talk to me properly.
He's right here, ask him!
Okay, fine.
I admit I was wrong.
I admit my mistake. I beg you.
Please come back. Don't break this family.
If not for me, come home for my mother.
For the past few days, all she has been asking is...
"Where is Priya? I want to meet Priya."
See you.
I'll take your leave.
There's no point in having this conversation if there's no humanity left.
What is wrong with you?
Please, Auntie.
We won't discuss this topic anymore.
Papa, can I get you some water?
No.
Papa, is she coming back?
You must have said something!
I--
Am I crazy?
Am I crazy to always yell at her?
Your mother claims that it's always my fault.
I've had enough of this drama.
I am going to tell Mom the truth.
-I cannot beg and plead anymore. -Sorry, Papa.
But Papa, she is...
Bloody cassettes!
They've made my life hell.
CDs were a lot better.
-Did you say something? -No, Auntie.
Mom.
My son is back!
What are you doing?
Come here.
Turn that thing off and go outside.
What can I do, son?
I was listening to some songs. I was getting bored.
Mom, I've to tell you something important.
My dear son, we can talk all day if you want to!
Mom, I lied to you.
Lied to me?
For the past six months...
Where is Sunil?
Where did she come from?
Billo, my dear!
This is what you wanted to tell me?
This was your surprise?
Come here, my child.
-My child. -How are you, Mom?
I feel so relaxed now.
I am much better, dear.
How are you?
It feels so nice to see you.
Why didn't your aunt come to see me?
She is in Punjab.
But--
Didn't you call her yesterday?
-You called my aunt? -Yes.
She left this morning.
Didn't she leave early in the morning?
Yes, she did.
Actually, Mom, her brother, who lives in Punjab, is sick.
Okay. Okay.
You--
Come here, dear. Sit down.
You've put on some weight as well.
She has thyroid problems.
Oh, God!
I wake up after six months, and everyone's got thyroid problems.
Six months?
-But, Mom-- -Billo, I wanted to tell you that
we have some extra classes.
And we've to go to school as well. We've our exams coming up.
Just shut up when I am talking.
Do you have to interfere?
She's visiting me after a long time.
Aren't you going to offer her some water?
Girl!
Get a glass of water immediately.
You can stop worrying about me, dear.
Your Aunt Darshan is getting better.
Look how tensed you look!
You look like the mother of two kids right now.
What? What happened?
Someone's thinking about me.
Yeah, someone's definitely thinking about you.
What--
Sweety, what are you wearing?
She...
Ma'am, I-- Please talk to sir.
That's okay.
She is the maid, dear.
They are the ones who make mistakes.
How many times have I told you to comb your hair?
You look like a witch!
You've completely drenched her.
And my bedsheet as well!
Go and send the other one in.
Send him in with the mop.
Please try and understand.
It's okay, dear. It's okay.
-You're okay. -But I am drenched.
What do you want me to clean?
Clean my head.
Stupid fool, clean the floor!
Hello, Ms. Billo.
Chiku, can we please talk outside for a minute?
What is it, dear?
We need to discuss the homework.
Let's go.
Listen, girl, do you know her?
Who?
She just doesn't let go of Bimla.
-Who is Bimla? -Bimla is Pappi's mom.
I wonder why Grandma keeps thinking about her.
Get to the point.
Just wait. Let me explain.
Explain what?
He goes to school every day, but he's made us servants.
I can't even cook instant noodles. And he's making me cook.
Liar.
She orders food from the restaurant every day.
Get lost. You're glued to Twinkle all the time.
Really? So this is why you wanted me--
Look, Sunil...
I am ready to help you.
I am ready to live here for 15 days.
But you must tell her the truth as soon as possible.
-What are you saying, Mom? -Stay out of this!
He thinks everything's a joke!
You want a divorce, right?
I will divorce you.
But please, for my mother's sake...
call your aunt and tell her you'll be living here for a couple of months.
15 days!
Not a day more.
Shit.
Where's my phone?
Sunny, try calling me.
Did you lose it?
Papa, we'll find it.
Your phone's ringing. It must be here.
I guess I left it in Mom's room.
-What? -What?
What have you done?
I really should divorce you!
What?
What--
What is this?
Mom...
What is this?
Mom...
Okay...
is this a mirror?
My darling You've ruined Munni's life
What are you doing, Mom?
It's just a radio. Turn it off.
That's a really tiny radio!
-Yes, Mom. -Is it a new model?
Yes, it is.
I want one!
How much does it cost?
It costs 15,000 rupees.
My uncle from London bought it for me.
And I had asked him to get me a couple more.
Okay...
15,000 rupees?
Yes.
Okay.
Can you watch Doordarshan on it?
Yes, you can!
Shut up!
"Yes, you can."
This thing costs 15,000 rupees.
Have you ever seen 15,000 rupees in your life?
Have you?
I don't think so. Just keep quiet.
What was that song? It was about some Goddess Munni?
-It's a song. -It's a new song.
He has it!
-He must have stolen it. -No, I didn't!
Call the police.
Just call the police.
Mom, please let it go. Stop thinking about the radio.
Get some rest. Stop worrying about these things.
I'll get him arrested!
But how does he...
-Get some rest. -Okay...
Alright.
Get some rest, Mom.
Let's go.
"Get some rest! Get some rest!"
Why should I get some rest?
The servants have a radio as well!
But your mother doesn't have one.
How does that make you feel?
What will you do with a radio, Mom?
Please try to understand.
I'll listen to the show in the morning...
presented by Mr. Ameen Sayani himself.
And I'll--
Forget it!
Sweetheart...
can you ask your uncle in London to get one for me?
Sure, Auntie.
Auntie, forget the radio. Get a cable TV connection instead.
Or you can get a Dish TV connection for her.
She can watch some TV shows if she's bored.
And I won't have to keep slogging with the cassettes.
I'll get you a Dish TV.
Get out! Focus on your job.
Come on.
Both of you.
Have they changed Doordarshan's name to Dish TV.
No, it's a new TV show on Doordarshan.
Yeah.
Okay.
Alright, it's okay.
Forget the radio.
Let's get Doordarshan instead.
Son, please understand.
I can watch Buniyaad.
By the way, is Mr. Vilayiti Ram back yet?
-Yeah. -Really?
You see, I've had enough of these boring old cassettes as well.
Please do it for your mother.
Mom, I mean...
the antenna's broken.
And that's the reason our TV isn't working.
That's easy, son.
Just go upstairs and fix the antenna.
Your father and I were experts in fixing the antenna.
Remember, your father used to go upstairs...
and he used to scream, "Is it fixed?"
And I would say "Not yet".
And he used to help his father fix the antenna!
Yeah.
-But, Auntie-- -What is it?
Son...
please do it for your mother.
It's really easy to fix the antenna!
Okay, Mom, I'll go fix the antenna.
-Okay? Okay. -Go on, son.
Go on.
Uncle, I was just here to meet Sunny.
Why are you making me do this?
You meet Sunny every day, son.
We're doing this for Grandma--
Please try and understand the emotion.
You should do these things for your friends!
It's just a matter of few days.
You changed my mother's name to Bimla!
-Isn't that enough? -Shut up!
-Come on... -What are you--
Listen to me.
You can discuss your secrets later.
Is everything ready?
-Yes. -You found everything?
-Yes, we did. -My mother is really sharp!
She would catch all my mistakes in a jiffy.
What if she catches me?
-Son-- -Why are you such a coward?
She couldn't even recognize her family.
How will she recognize you?
-You're an outsider. -Yeah.
He's my friend!
-She called me an outsider. -She was just joking.
-I am not doing this. -Come on, son.
-Stop it, man! -You're my child. You're like my son.
-Please do this. -Learn some manners!
Do well. Wait a minute.
-Go on, son. -Come on.
Okay.
Is Mr. Sunil home?
No. Who are you?
I'm here to fix the antenna.
Mr. Sunil has asked me to fix it.
Right!
You guys are really efficient!
Go and change the antenna.
And you only have 15 minutes.
My favorite music show is about to start.
And I don't want to miss it.
I will slap you if I miss it!
Auntie, I'll fix it in ten minutes.
Where do you want me to put it?
-Put it on my head. -Here you go.
You fool, are you trying to kill me?
Help me!
-This idiot-- -Brother, you're here.
Brother, you're late.
She's gonna miss her favorite show.
-Fix it on time. -Come.
I'll show you the spot.
Just give me ten minutes.
You only have 13 minutes now.
Ten minutes!
-Why aren't you coming to school? -What is he doing here?
I called him.
I should know what's going on in school.
-You're keeping me engrossed here. -Stay engrossed, dear.
Can't you stay engrossed for Grandma's sake?
Now that you're here, son...
help us out. We need some people.
Okay. Stay here.
Take it, son.
I can't do it!
Don't worry, just do it!
Really? She says I only have 15 minutes.
She wants to watch some musical show.
She will bore me to death if I don't fix this. And slap me as well.
I cannot do this.
But son, you just have to pretend to fix this for three minutes.
And then Sunny will--
Where is Sunny? Sunny?
-Did you get the stuff? -I did.
He will have one end of the wire.
You will have the other. Just throw the wire down.
And don't let my mom find out.
If she gets suspicious, just start yelling.
-Use this excuse to connect the wires. -Sure. Sure.
-Did you get the DVD? -Yes, I got the DVD as well.
Just connect the wire, and I'll handle the rest.
That's it!
This wire's too long!
Why do you need a smaller wire? For skipping?
You ask so many questions.
Go inside. Son, go give him a hand.
Go on.
-Give your brother a hand. -Come on.
-Get some work done. -Go on, son.
Hurry up, we're all depending on you.
Of course, Papa.
-There, it's fixed. -Come here, Chiku.
-We'll watch the show together. -Yes, mom.
-Here you go. -Yes, Mom.
What is this?
It's stuck.
Fix the bloody antenna!
Come here.
Hit the TV. Hit it!
Hard!
Male and female are ready to mate.
-During the monsoon, animals are -Monkeys.
usually inclined--
Hey! Hey!
What is this...
SORRY FOR THE INTERRUPTION
There you go.
-There it goes. -It's over.
"Sorry for the interruption."
Just as I expected.
It's just bad transmission, Mom.
But what was that thing we saw?
Those naked monkeys, and girls dressed in short skirts!
I guess the antenna tuned into some American show.
Tuned in to America?
And those rascals can't show us our own bloody shows!
No Buniyaad, no musical show, I missed everything.
Don't worry, ma'am. I'm here for you!
I'll fix it tomorrow.
It takes at least a week to fix this thing.
If he claims he'll fix it tomorrow, he'll do it.
Sir, if he fixes the TV tomorrow...
she can watch the news.
Finally, someone spoke up for me!
She is right.
I'll watch the news.
What's wrong?
You just had to exaggerate!
"I'll fix it tomorrow!"
And you!
Couldn't you just hold the wire for a couple of minutes?
-Uncle, I was tired. -Shut up. I'll slap you.
Stop it, Sunil.
They had no clue.
Please go home.
You're really nice.
My heart's sinking. I think my blood pressure's rising.
Do you want some water?
Give me some poison.
You are the one who said yes.
You could've just said that it's broken and cannot be fixed.
Who is going to deal with this?
Yes, Papa. First, we had to pretend that a cell phone is a radio...
then fix an antenna. God knows what's next.
You got us in this mess.
Mom was right to divorce you! You deserve it!
He has enough problems to deal with! What is wrong with you?
She is his mother.
He'll do whatever he wants for her.
In fact, you two wouldn't even have offered me a glass of water.
Let it go, Priya.
I was expecting this.
Brother...
we were wrong.
I know.
You shouldn't have said it.
It's done.
There's no way to fix this.
You should apologize to him in the morning.
And Mom as well.
I am not saying sorry.
You are very stubborn.
Just like Papa.
Sometimes, when I look at Sunny, I feel maybe...
I was like him.
I must have misbehaved with my parents as well.
And you know what, one day, his children will misbehave with him.
Stop thinking about it.
One has to think sometimes, Priya...
about these arguments over trivial things.
Look where not thinking about these things has gotten us.
Priya, when we were in school...
we would fight sometimes.
We would have a big fight.
But we would handle it.
We would always say that...
we'll never leave each other.
We were kids back then, Sunil.
We've grown up.
We're adults.
We've to work on Doordarshan tomorrow.
-Just end this. Apologize! -No, I won't.
Do it for me, please.
-Please, brother. -Not me.
Please, please, say it.
What is it?
Nothing.
Papa, I...
Sorry for last night.
You're an adult now, act wisely.
Come here.
You too.
You're looking great.
Did you take your schoolbag?
Hey...
I had to work really hard to get this uniform!
But it still fits me.
Shall we leave?
-You used to wear these in school-- -Billo and Chiku!
She said it.
Hail Goddess.
Mom!
What are you doing?
Mom! Please sit down.
No, Mom, you'll hurt yourself!
What are you doing?
I don't want to lie down.
I am tired. I am tired.
Calm down.
Lie down, Mom.
I keep having...
really weird and strange dreams...
in this room.
Strange dreams? What do you mean?
-I dream of Bimla. -What?
I've had enough of this Bimla!
Every time I think of her my body shudders.
Please change my room.
-Not me-- -Listen to me.
Your room is extremely comfortable.
The other rooms aren't as comfortable.
Please don't be stubborn.
Mom, I need to leave.
Take care, dear.
Let's go to school.
The teacher's going to thrash us if we're late.
And you, dear, take care of my mom.
Feed her on time. Get some rest, Mom.
-My child, do well in your exams you two. -Yes.
-Yes. Bye, Mom. -Go.
Careful.
I'll call you back in a couple of minutes.
Where are you going?
His mom is sick. We were going to see her.
Your mom's name is Bimla, right?
Yes, yes.
Why are you asking, Papa?
Why do you think?
My mother starts shuddering when she hears your mother's name.
Well, if that's the case, we'll leave, we're running late.
Sure.
-Be back on time, son. -Yes.
Bye, Uncle.
Can you please give me a lift today?
There's a problem with my scooter.
I'll drive.
You're heading straight to your aunt's home, right?
After you drop me at the office?
Where else will I go?
And anyway, we aren't divorced yet.
I'll look for a partner only after I get divorced.
Fine, you can do as you please. Don't threaten me.
-Hey, stop! Stop! -That's your dad!
Weren't you supposed to meet Pappi's sick mother?
What are you doing?
Papa, I--
I'll break your bones. Her father will kill me.
Catch them. Catch them.
-Stop screaming! -What do you mean?
Are you going to school, Uncle?
Get that rascal.
Make up your mind. Who do you want me to chase?
Let's go home.
Come on.
I'll deal with him when he gets home.
Swear on your mom...
and tell me the truth.
I can see it in your eyes. But I want to hear it from you.
We love each other, Papa.
What?
Yes.
You love him as well?
Yes, Uncle.
Are you blind?
Look at his face!
What are you saying?
Look at this couple. I mean...
Go downstairs, dear, before your dad gets home.
Go on.
What is this?
Greetings, Uncle.
Greetings, Auntie.
Hey...
where were they?
Bimla's in the hospital.
Bimla Devi, my mom, she is in the hospital.
They wanted to meet her.
It's a group of liars.
Papa knows everything. Tell him where we were.
What the hell, man!
Please tell me if I'm supposed to lie or tell the truth.
You're embarrassing me, man!
It doesn't matter.
She had some auditions. That's where they went.
You could've just told us the truth in the first place.
I'm already burdened with looking after Grandma.
Will he let me go if I tell him the truth?
Come here.
You've wooed the landlord's daughter.
Get lost.
-Uncle, may I have my keys back? -Yeah, just take your key and leave.
-I have them. -You have the keys!
I hope you didn't scratch it.
-I will slap you. -You didn't...
Unbelievable.
You didn't make this a big deal.
It just reminded me of our time together.
Do you remember, I took you to that singing competition.
And you crashed the scooter as well.
That is exactly why I learnt how to ride a bike.
But I was the one who was hurt.
-I have a scar right here. -Enough of this.
What about Mom?
What if we subscribe to Doordarshan?
Doordarshan is available on TV these days.
How am I supposed to subscribe to the Doordarshan from 1989!
Where will I get this?
-What if we make up the news? -How?
Take these uniforms off.
Come with me.
You know, brother, her father won't spare me if I talk to him.
We'll make sure he doesn't find out.
We'll make something up.
-Mom. -Fine, you can take her.
Stay back. I'll slap you.
And, focus on studies.
Your father will be here any minute.
-Go inside. -Don't scold her.
Brother, please get me a role as well.
I've had a passion for acting since I was in school.
DOORDARSHAN
The world's mood keeps swinging
A band around a finger Is known as a ring
The world's mood keeps swinging
A band around a finger Is also known as a ring
You never know How quickly things change
How do I tell you What the true colors of this world are?
It's colorful, it's good and bad, Sometimes, it's black and sometimes white
Sorry for the interruption
DOORDARSHAN
No interruption, please
Switch on the TV, Save your chores for later
Sit on the couch And everybody watch Doordarshan
Ram-Lakhan's dance
And Chandni's songs
Beat will play on the floor
Join us, because all the Songs we'll play are superhit
Turn on the TV And mend everyone's broken heart
Everyone dance and break the floor
Just like stuffed bread Tastes better with pickle
The shows on Doordarshan are a class apart
Ma'am, I've told you many times that I am in school.
I don't want a loan.
-But, sir-- -Stop calling me.
Who's calling you?
Is it some girl?
The dicks from the bank are harassing me!
Learn some manners, you idiot!
Why are you using these words?
What did I say?
I said, "The dicks from the bank are harassing me!"
Have you lost your mind? His parents are here!
-Mind your language! -What the hell--
I just said,
-"Those dicks are harassing me!" -Oh, I get it! I get it!
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
He means to say that, "The pricks from the bank are harassing him."
They keep calling me for a loan.
They keep calling for a loan. It's okay, son. Sorry.
That's what I said. The dicks from the bank are harassing me!
-Apologize to him. -Sorry, man. Sorry.
Everyone apologize to him.
Sorry for the interruption
DOORDARSHAN
In today's news...
the Prime Minister will, once again, be visiting a foreign country.
She is talking about Rajiv Gandhi.
Yes, yes.
On the other hand, Rakhi finds herself a new groom in Rakhi's Swayamvar.
Son, I have heard about Sita's Swayamvar.
Yeah.
But what is Rakhi's Swayamvar?
These guys are stupid.
I wonder who employs them.
She means to say Sita.
Now it's time for Sports news.
In the One Day International match...
Virat scored his first double century.
He scored of 14 sixes and seven boundaries.
What happened to Kapil Dev?
Wasn't he playing?
Yeah--
I--
Virat is the new kid, Mom. He's a good player.
He's an amazing player.
Yeah, whatever. But no one can match Kapil Dev's brilliance!
No one's as good as him.
Now we'll look at some pictures of missing people.
This child, he's 16 years old.
His height is five feet and seven inches.
He has a short body.
Poor thing.
He's been missing for 15 days.
This child, he is 19 years old.
His height is five feet nine inches.
And his name is Pappu.
And his mother's name is Bimla.
He has been missing for a week.
-If you see any of these... -I don't know why...
but Bimla's name makes me restless.
Mom, she said Nirmala.
She said Nirmala.
Two, five--
Oh, God!
These are definitely your kids!
I told you record news from 1989! Was that from 1989?
Fatso and Lisper wrote the script!
Stop it. They are just kids.
What do you mean?
-Chiku! Chiku, come here! -Forget it, Papa. She's looking for you.
Go on.
Hail Lord Ram.
Yes, Mom?
Why do you keep jumping around like a monkey?
-Did Billo leave? -No, she's outside.
-Should I send her? -No.
Look behind you.
RAMAYAN
They are a really cute couple, right?
Hail Sita! Hail Ram!
How will I get the episodes of Ramayan?
Hail Sita! Hail Ram!
Did you say something?
I was saying that they have stopped broadcasting Ramayan for some time.
My innocent kid. Stupid one...
You're so innocent!
-You won't get it. -Yes.
My dear son.
Do one thing, call up Billo's aunt for me.
Hail Sita! Hail Ram!
What's wrong with you, Papa? Why are you worried?
Marriage.
I am ready, Papa. Get me married to Twinkle.
Talk to her father. We won't have to pay rent either.
My marriage you fool!
My marriage!
What do you mean?
We're not divorced yet.
And you have to sign the papers first.
And under Hindu Marriage Act--
My dear lawyer, she wants us to get married!
There's a young man in the family but no one's concerned about his marriage.
You want to get married twice!
We'll be the only kids to dance at our parents' wedding.
-You could've just refused. -Why would he?
Why would he give up a shot at second honeymoon?
Believe me, I will kill him.
-Talk to your brother. -Shut up, Sunny.
Sweety's sitting here quietly.
Is she saying anything?
What can I say?
I don't know whether we'll be on the bride's side or the groom's.
Go and check if she has had her dinner.
I've had enough of this drama--
Please get us out of this.
What am I going to say?
Tell her that we're young, we want to study, we're kids.
How can we get married?
She will listen to you.
Let me think.
You've been feeding me pilaf every day since the day I've woken up!
And it's really salty!
See? I've been--
I've been belching all day.
Go away. Get some poison for me instead.
-Kill me. -Shall I get it from outside?
I'll slap you.
Go!
Go and ask Chiku for two rupees
and get some fresh fitters from Lala's store.
-Go! -Sure.
And don't forget the sauce. The red sauce.
-Go, get it. -Okay.
Auntie, you wanted to see me?
My princess. Come, have a seat.
Oh, God!
Sit here.
I need to talk to your aunt.
I want to fix your marriage with Chiku before I go.
Are you ready?
But, Auntie...
is it really important to get married right now?
Yes!
It is really important!
I won't lie to you.
You two are starting to look like old folks.
And these wrinkles--
No, I mean...
do you want to get married when you get wrinkles?
What is it?
I just wanted to know if you need my help.
No, son. I don't need your help.
I don't see Sweety around.
She's getting fritters for you.
-She knew I was coming? -Yes.
Papa, the drain's clogged! There's water everywhere.
Oh, God! I forgot about it...
But, Auntie...
But?
If you don't like Chiku...
just tell me.
I will get him married to someone else.
I love someone else.
Really?
Does Chiku know him?
He's the one who introduced us.
He--
His name is Bunty.
What are you doing?
Are you just going to stand there?
By the way, Chiku sounds much better.
But it doesn't matter, dear.
If you've made your decision...
You'll be happy with him, right?
Yes, I will be happy.
Princess...
Chiku is one in a million.
But now, I want to get you married to that stupid Bunty.
Auntie, here are your fritters with red sauce.
Great. Give her some.
Try it.
Open your mouth.
You should marry Bunty.
I will talk to Chiku.
Auntie, I...
I'm ready to marry Chiku.
What?
Really?
Are you out of your mind?
You just said that you want to marry Bunty.
I...
Auntie, I...
I don't even know Bunty.
So, I should marry Chiku instead.
And...
I won't get a mother-in-law like you.
You're making me cry.
You know what...
I don't want a grand wedding.
You guys should have a simple wedding!
We can have a small function at home.
I won't be able to join you guys.
My arms and my legs hurt.
I can't even walk.
Hail Goddess.
Sauce.
Stop staring at my face!
Start preparing for the wedding.
-Yes, Auntie. -Go on. Leave.
Give me the sauce!
How are you, Bunty?
Why are you laughing?
Mom, forget him.
He's crazy. He's always grinning like an idiot.
What happened?
You are really useless, Sunny.
What happened?
He was supposed to turn the tap like this,
but he turned it the other way.
The motor was on, and the entire place is drenched.
Did you talk to Mom about the wedding?
Please try to understand the situation.
I said yes.
What?
But, Priya, first you need to get divorced.
I'll marry you only if you're divorced.
What?
What nonsense?
-Have you lost your mind? -Shut up!
Your mom is leaving your dad.
You're...
marrying him?
Are you crazy?
I was trying to come up with an excuse to not get married.
Take this idiot outside. He's crazy.
You've betrayed me!
-Come with me! -Get lost.
He's crazy.
Enough of this.
I was trying to come up with an excuse to not get married...
and I couldn't think of any other name.
I took Bunty's name.
Yeah, that's alright.
But you told Mom that you'll get married.
-Right? -Yes.
But who are you going to marry? Me or Lisper?
You, of course.
Me, of course.
My heart was starting to sink.
Once we wrap this up...
I will divorce you.
Yeah, it's alright. But we need to prepare for the wedding.
Talk to Mr. Goldie, and invite a some people. We need a crowd.
It should look like a wedding.
Sometimes, I wonder...
if this is really my house.
What happened?
What do you mean?
You're installing Doordarshan upstairs.
You're hosting a wedding down here.
It's a small function.
It's not even real.
Please do it for me.
What do you want me to do?
How are you gonna get the relatives from 1989?
Well...
you can be a guest.
Did you forget?
Auntie has asked you to stay away from me.
I am sure you used to hit on girls!
That's the reason she wants him to stay away.
Yes, I did once.
I am still paying for it.
Brother...
I don't care about him.
Me and Twinkle will definitely be there!
-Twinkle is not going! -Why?
His son could end up marrying my daughter at his wedding.
Come on.
I will come!
How?
How will you face her?
She doesn't like you!
-She knows everything. -Of course.
All these things can be managed.
I want you and Twinkle to be there. For my mother's sake.
For the emotions.
And you for the sake of your daughter.
And for me as well.
Okay, wait. Let me think about how I can show up.
Think. I'll think about how to invite our relatives.
How will you face her?
She doesn't like you!
She's wearing a netted top Look at the way she moves
Everyone applauds, Girls rejoice when they watch her dance
She's wearing a netted top Look at the way she moves
Everyone applauds, Girls rejoice when they watch her dance
Your henna design And your earrings are beautiful
The embellishments on your veil Have the moon hiding its face
Your henna design And your earrings are beautiful
The embellishments on your veil Have the moon hiding its face
Today, music will be played nonstop
Today, your beloved will hold your hand And look the best
He is here to take you away
He is here, my dear
Your beloved is here to marry you
He is here to fill your life with joy My dear
Your beloved is here to marry you
Looks like the moon is your fan
It's tough to take one's eyes off you
You outshine the stars
Looks like the moon is your fan
It's tough to take one's eyes off you
You outshine the stars
It's time to bid your friends goodbye
It's time to leave with me This is what the music tells you
Your dress and hairdo are beautiful
You are so beautiful that Everyone keeps staring at you
Today, music will be played nonstop
Today, your beloved will hold your hand And look the best
He is here to take you away
He is here, my dear
Your beloved is here to marry you
He is here to fill your life with joy
Your beloved is here to marry you
She's wearing a netted top Look at the way she moves
Everyone applauds, Girls rejoice when they watch her dance
Hey, you fool.
Idiot!
You're drinking all alone!
Who's gonna fix me a drink?
Sorry, Auntie. I forgot about you.
Idiot.
Do your bloody job.
I'll tell Chiku to deduct your salary...
if you don't focus on your job.
Mom.
-Shit. -Mom.
-Mom, are you asleep? -No.
Harder. Harder.
-What are you doing here? -Giving her a massage.
I called him!
My feet are hurting.
Give her a proper massage.
Harder. Harder.
Did you have your dinner, Mom?
Are you going to Billo's room?
Yeah.
You--
Calm down.
Don't get too excited.
I mean, we Punjabi's tend to get overexcited.
Come here.
-Just be careful and be calm. -Okay, Mom.
We wouldn't be in this position if he could be calm.
Mom, may I leave?
Go.
"May I leave?"
You seem to be in a hurry!
Why?
You're forgetting your mom's love and her blessings.
Mom, what's that stink?
It happens, son.
Go on, Billo is waiting for you.
-Go, go on. -Yes, yes...
-Go! And close the door. -Yes, Mom.
Yes, yes...
-The door. -Yes.
-Take care. -Oh, God!
Oh, God!
Stop massaging my feet!
Take this.
And fix me a drink quickly.
Listen...
fix me a strong one.
Auntie, I am scared.
What if he walks in on us?
Don't be scared. Don't be scared.
He won't be coming back. He's busy.
He won't even miss his mother anymore.
Chiku weds Billo.
Are you out of your mind?
Do your job.
I've done it!
See?
Chiku weds Billo.
What have you written?
Chiku weds... Billo.
Who wrote this?
I wrote it!
Is it wrong?
-That's nice. Great. -Great?
No, I mean...
Please leave. What are you doing here?
Why are you worried?
It's just your wedding night.
You're lucky to celebrate it the second time.
Doesn't he have to go home?
He is leaving.
-He has worked really hard! -Exactly!
The least you could do is thank him.
I worked really hard.
Thank you, brother.
Please, take him away.
Uncle, just call me if you need a glass of milk.
Get out.
-Come on. -You seem to be in a hurry!
The mess I am in, a glass of milk won't help.
-This chapter's over. -Done. Over.
Thanks, Lisper.
You helped me a lot today.
What do you mean by "Thank you"?
You were looking really cute today, you know.
Come on!
These dicks from the bank are calling me at night!
Forget it. Hang up.
Priya, can I...
Can I say something?
Say it.
I hope you won't mind.
Stop beating around the bush. Just say it.
Promise me you won't mind.
Just say it, Sunil.
This is our second chance.
I mean...
I mean, this is our second shot at a wedding night, so if you wanna--
Listen to me.
Idiot!
I told him to stay calm!
It was just a request.
Calm down! Calm down!
Auntie, do you need another drink?
Shut up.
You're in a hurry, they are in a hurry.
Calm down!
Curse him. Bloody fool!
I told him to stay calm and handle his excitement!
Come on! I need a drink!
You're forgetting everything, Priya.
I used to be your Chiku, remember.
Wait a second.
Your favorite, Maine Pyaar Kiya.
Remember how we skipped school and watched this movie at Chanakyapuri.
You still have it?
I am used to keeping your memories close.
But now that we're getting divorced, I thought I should return it.
I don't want to keep your memories anymore.
They hurt.
I may be a little hot-headed.
I talk a lot, I snore.
I may be irritating as well.
But you know what...
I miss you.
I cannot live without you.
That is all I have to say.
You know what, Sunil?
What?
What is the biggest reason for a divorce?
-What? -Marriage.
No marriage. No divorce.
We will no longer be husband and wife.
What?
We'll be friends.
-Give me a chance. -Like in school?
Yes.
I can't live without you either.
Really?
So, no divorce?
Come on.
Let's get some sleep.
We've work to do tomorrow.
Really?
How can we just sleep?
I am not letting go of a second shot at our wedding night!
You are great.
Who was that girl in the orange suit?
Don't be shy.
Her name is Twinkle.
I love her.
Nice!
Great!
Hey!
You stupid fool...
She is a princess and you are a pauper.
-Grandma! -I'm not your grandma!
Auntie, you're my grandma.
And that girl in the orange suit is Goldie's daughter.
Who's Goldie?
The guy who dressed up as a eunuch yesterday.
The one who was clapping.
Your son's best friend.
The one you've asked him to stay away from!
Shut up.
He is not a friend.
-His mouth stinks. Stinks like hell. -Really?
He smokes cigarettes. I saw it with my own eyes.
Really?
And he hits on girls!
He harasses them.
He flirts with them.
Flirts with them?
If I talk to his daughter...
he turns into a villain.
"I will kill you. Slice you. Do this, do that."
-You do one thing. -Okay.
Just kill that bloody villain.
Kill him.
Of course, Grandma.
Oh, God.
Give me a hand.
I--
I am a little confused.
Goldie isn't even married!
How does he have a daughter?
That's the game you are not aware of!
My papa lied to you so well, you will never believe it.
Just tell me one thing.
I'll tell you everything, Grandma.
You promise, you'll tell me everything?
I promise, Grandma, I will tell you everything.
Who is Bimla?
Idiot.
He must be dreaming about Bimla.
Stupid fool.
Hey!
He looks like he passed out last night!
Hey, wake up!
Hail Goddess.
Yeah, I'm coming.
Where is everybody?
Oh, God! Oh, God!
Yeah, I'm coming!
Yeah--
I'm coming.
Hello, ma'am!
Here is Mr. Sunil's bill.
Please give it to him.
And here's today's newspaper.
Goodbye.
What...
2019...
Hey! Where's Grandma?
She must be around. Take a look.
-Where did Grandma go last night? -I don't know. Go away.
Hey!
Where's Mom?
Get up. Where is she?
Goldie, Mom has been missing since morning.
I don't know where she is.
Mom.
We were looking for you!
Where were you?
I told you to not get out of bed.
I took too long to get up.
But at least I got up.
30 years.
You turned 30 years into six months.
I was going to tell you, Mom.
Good...
It's good that you didn't tell me.
The world has completely changed.
People don't care about relationships these days!
They build and end relationships on these radios-- these phones!
You know...
if someone's dying, they won't help him!
These idiots, they--
They are more interested in clicking pictures instead.
No one tries to help...
-Auntie, I know what Sunil did was wrong. -No!
You shut up, Goldie.
I want to talk to your parents, Kamlesh and Mr. Arora.
They are dead, Mom.
They are no more.
That's better.
They would've hated this world anyway.
If there's anything else, tell me right now.
We'll tell you gradually, Mom.
Look at everyone standing with long faces.
Hey, Goldie!
You still smoke cigarettes, right?
You smoke cigarettes?
Shut up.
Try and understand the situation.
Hey!
She is your wife. Talk to her politely.
Bless you.
Yes, Mom. It's a thyroid problem.
What?
-Nothing. -Yes, it's a thyroid problem.
-There's something I need to tell you. -Tell me.
You've been mad at him all these years.
It wasn't Goldie who used to smoke cigarettes.
I used to smoke cigarettes.
-He was holding my cigarette-- -God!
I'm gonna hit you!
Come here, Billo.
Sit.
Tell me...
who did you marry? Chiku or Bunty?
Mom, I married Chiku.
And you got married again just for me?
Yes, Mom.
I am floored.
The two of you took care of me for the past 30 years.
Not me, Mom.
It was Sunil and these two servants.
These guys are servants?
Move! Who is she?
Auntie, she is my daughter.
Your daughter?
But she is having an affair with this servant.
Sunil, I've always warned you!
Just wait a minute, man! Try to understand the situation.
What's going on?
You want to let our daughters marry the servants?
Nonsense!
And he was serving me liquor all night!
He was drinking as well! It was some cheap liquor!
And he fainted as soon as I asked him about Bimla!
I served you alcohol, Grandma?
You were the one who asked me to get alcohol for you!
Oh, God! Goddess will curse you.
Stop lying!
He's such a bad kid! He must be a curse to his parents!
Thank God! You don't have a kid like him.
Mom, this bad kid--
Come here, Sweety. These are my children.
Really? They are very sweet!
Don't just stand there, Goldie!
You are very lucky to have a son-in-law like him.
My sweet children! Come here!
-You used to cook for me? -Yes, Grandma.
Liar!
Grandma, she used to get it from the restaurant next door.
These kids are useless!
Sunil, please pay some more rent, man!
Guess what I got for you.
Is it a new book?
What is it?
This is the latest version of Bimla's stories on DVD.
Really?
We've only studied theory so far. Now it's time to watch the real stuff!
I've changed the name. Nobody will know.
I want to watch Ramayan.
How am I supposed to get Ramayan?
I'll have to go all the way to Palika Market!
We have it. Do you want me to get it?
-What? -Great!
Get it.
Your children are smarter than you are!
-You're a fool. -I work very hard--
Grandma, your "Girl in the orange dress" is here.
Come in.
Come in, my child.
You're so sweet.
Goldie will kill us. What are you doing?
Shut up!
I will handle Goldie. I know everything!
I will talk to him!
Grandma, here's the DVD!
Great! Let's watch it!
-Move. -Come on, guys!
What are we watching?
I found it under your bed.
Wait...
Come on, Mom!
-BIMLA'S STORIES. -Bimla, my dear, you're really beautiful!
Beautiful! Beautiful!
-Bimla is here as well! -Grandma!
-Sorry for the interruption! -I will break his legs--
What was my line?
I was right in front of you, sir!
I don't know...
What am I supposed to do with these kids?
What should I do?
Bro, what are my lines?
Why are you in a hurry?
Stand here!
Just get off the bike. Why are you getting emotional?
-I got off the bike. -She is my wife not yours.
-But the bike-- -The bike goes away.
You get off and you go there.
-That's it. -Okay, got it.
When will you go?
Got it.
Let them honk. Come on.
Someone please say, "Action".
Brother...
-Did you forget? -What was my line?
Shit! I did it again!
Please get him some tea.
Oh, shit.
It was good,
-just don't laugh. -Oh, God!
It was good, just don't laugh.
Will he let me go if I tell him the truth?
Tell me.
Let's do another take.
-Don't hit him! -Mind your language!
-What do you mean by that? -Hey! Stop!
They are right here. Take a look!
Come on.
What was the line? Let's do it again.
He doesn't listen to me. Let's just cut this!
If you listen to me, all your problems will be solved.
Now, these guys won't say "Cut".
-They won't! -They never do!
Great.