Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver
Okay.
- You all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm ready.
All right, let's do it.
You sure you're okay?
Yeah, just...
They brought me cupcakes at work today.
Oh, God. Sorry to hear that.
I don't know how they knew it was my birthday,
they must have looked on my W-2 or something,
which should be illegal.
Come on, they're tryin' to be nice.
I just don't want it to be a big deal.
Carrie and John don't know, do they?
That it's my birthday?
- No. - I don't know. I don't know.
- Well... - Can you not tell her,
'cause she makes a big thing out of everything.
Right.
I just wanna like
play Catan, and slam some wine,
and order some Thai food, and that's it.
What?
I don't know if I should tell you.
She knows?
She knows. Fuck!
Okay, there might be a few more, um...
people there than you were... expecting.
It's kind of like a, um...
surprise party for you.
It's a what?
- Dude. - Oh, God.
What the hell?
I'm sorry, I thought you'd be excited.
Why would I be...
No, I... No.
Look, I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea and I am sorry.
Uh, no, no, I...
I've just been panicky all day.
Nena, I don't want to stress you out. I just...
I don't know, I thought it would be fun.
But, baby, I hate surprise parties.
Can I ask you something?
Has anybody ever thrown you one?
No.
So, how do you know?
Surprise!
Hi.
Hey, are you sure everything's okay?
No, it's good. Thank you, really.
I just get... You know?
I've been planning this like almost as long as our wedding,
and it was Drew's idea, but you know, I just kind of rolled with it.
You guys have been so good to us since we moved here,
and it's such a big moment in your life!
Like you turned 30! Like what? It's crazy.
And like I don't even... I can't even imagine
what turning 30 would be like.
That's such a foreign concept to me, you know?
Like, your credit score's probably, like, perfect.
I don't even know. The other day, I went to put air in my tires,
and I was like, I don't even know how I'm freaking gonna do this right now,
and I used to call my mom all the time, but now I can call you,
'cause you're the real grown-up in my life.
Your life is like so set, like it's so good,
you're like so set, it's so great.
And we have chips and dip, and onion dip,
and we have, uh... There's broccoli and edamame,
but not cauliflower, 'cause I know you don't like cauliflower,
but, uh, there's hummus, but I...
Drew didn't know what kind of hummus you liked,
so I just... I just picked one, so...
What hummus do you like?
Oh, uh, the Mediterranean one from TJ's with pine nuts.
Damn it, uh... we got sun-dried tomato.
Didn't I tell you to get Mediterranean?
I have no idea.
Uh, it's fine, Carrie.
Really, thank you.
Oh, honey, do you wanna tell them?
- Tell them what? - Yeah, tell us what?
Oh, we goin' campin'.
- You two should come. - Yeah, totally.
Uh, hey, who is that? Has she hung out with us before?
Oh, that's Olivia. She just started working at the coffee shop with me.
She looks familiar, though.
She used to be a model.
In France, bro.
I don't know what that means.
Hey.
- Could I bum one? - Totally.
Thank you.
It's Nena, right?
Yeah.
Olivia?
- How do you know? - Carrie, she told me.
She talks about you a lot at work, too.
My friend Nena this, my friend Nena that.
- Oh, God. - No, it's sweet.
Yeah, no, I love Carrie.
I mean, she invited all these people here
and I don't know half of them, so...
I love these mountains.
They're not bad.
I used to run up them.
You ran up those?
In my prime.
Why'd you stop?
I always said that I would quit for good when I turned 30.
Hm.
So you're from France?
No.
Oh, Carrie and John, they said you're a model in France.
I was like kind of sort of actress in New York,
and yeah, I just fell into it.
But I'm from here originally.
What are you doing now?
I'm workin' at the coffee shop with Carrie.
Uh, no, I know, but like what are you doing?
I'm, um, foaming milk and cream-cheesing bagels.
That was such an LA question, I am so sorry.
- It's okay. - Fuck.
I guess I'm past my prime, too.
- How old are you? - Twenty-five.
Yeah, fuck off.
I don't feel bad about asking my question anymore.
Ooh, come on, older women are sexy.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
So what now?
Turning 30, does it... feel different?
Um, I don't know.
Like I guess I hit all the marks I'm supposed to hit in my 20s.
Married, employed, I like my apartment,
I'm probably not gonna die poor and lonely, so yeah, I'm doing great.
Yeah, but I didn't ask if you were doing great.
I asked if you felt different.
Right. Um...
no, not really.
Can I have another one?
Yeah.
Thank you for throwing my surprise party, baby.
I'm sorry that you didn't have a good time.
No, I did.
- I did. - Really?
Yeah.
I probably wouldn't leave the house if it wasn't for you.
Okay.
I'm just thinkin', like,
I'm getting too old to be so scared of new things.
I just wanna say "yes" to things.
Really?
Yeah, really.
Really, really.
So that's why you said "yes" to camping this weekend.
I said "yes" to what?
Uh, you seemed a little... I don't know, distracted maybe.
Oh.
- So you want me to cancel? - No.
You know what? No, let's do it.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean...
Fuck it. I can camp.
All right.
Fuck yeah. I mean, I wanna do new stuff all the time.
Total overhaul.
Oh my God, I am so into this right now. I love this.
So then, what about the thing we talked about the other week?
- What thing? - You know, the thing with the heels?
What thing with the heels?
You don't remember? Well, I would lie on the floor
and then you would...
- Oh. - Yeah.
I thought you were kidding about that.
- Oh, no. Yeah, I was. - You were what?
- Are you serious? - I was kidding. I mean, you know?
Do... do you really want me to do that to you?
I don't want to if you don't want to.
Uh...
Right now, I just wanna go to bed.
Okay, baby.
Y ou know, my boss was surprisingly cool
with me taking a half day. I should do this more often.
You know what? Me, too.
Baby, you work from home, your whole life is a half day.
Sorry.
Yay, you made it!
Hi.
- What's up, man? - What's up, bro?
- How you doin'? - Hello.
- How are you doin'? - Hi, there.
- We made it. - Yeah!
- How was the drive, bro? - Not bad, yeah.
Question, um, you guys have an extra tent?
- Why? - Olivia forgot to bring one.
- What? - Hey.
And she is in all green, like a leaf.
The Joker.
I know, I know.
- But it's a she. - Poison Ivy.
Ooh, this guy, he's like my one pass.
- Anderson Cooper, yeah. - Yeah.
Newspaper publisher, fictional,
greatest movie of all time.
Rosebud.
- Citizen what? - Citizen Kane!
- But what's the name? - Oh. Oh, God.
Oh, shit, bro.
- Indiana Jones? - No.
- Hey. Hey, hey! - You guys, you are the most...
- Degrassi. - Oh.
Degrassi. Neil deGrasse Tyson.
- What the fuck! - Drake?
- Yes! - Yes!
Hey, can I ask you guys a question?
Um, if we were to get married here or like in LA, um,
would you be a part of the wedding party?
Oh, but I thought you were getting married in Colorado.
Um, no, I just... I got in this big fight with my parents,
'cause they don't think that we're like ready
or financially stable or whatever, you know?
They give like four or five bullshit reasons, you know?
So they're not gonna pay for it, even though,
they paid for both my asshole sisters' weddings
and one of them is already divorced,
but, you know, I'm the unstable one, so...
I'm sorry that sucks.
Yeah. But it's okay, 'cause we're gonna save up
and we're gonna pay for it ourselves,
and we're gonna have it here,
and we're gonna have a kick-ass wedding with our LA family.
Fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah.
And we already picked out a date.
October 22nd.
That's... our wedding anniversary.
Yeah, we're gonna be like... like wedding sisters,
you know, and we can, uh, go on like double dates on the anniversaries.
Isn't that amazing?
That's so fun.
Yeah. I know. Oh my God, I'm so glad you're excited.
Your dad's a piece of shit.
He's... he's not a piece of shit.
All right, come on. He's... he's definitely a piece of shit.
Oh, God.
Hey, damn it, John. All right. Every time. All right, come on.
Come on, honey, let's go.
- Come on. - Okay, buddy.
- There you go. - Drew, why don't you like me?
What are you talkin' about? You're my guy.
- You're just saying that. - No.
Drew seems really sweet.
Yeah, he is the best.
He seems like he really takes care of you.
Hm. You know that feeling when you're not sure
whether or not your sunglasses are still on the top of your head?
That's my whole life and...
But I can always count on Drew to tell me if they're there or not.
Scary having to depend on someone or have them depend on you.
It is.
Like sometimes when we're going to sleep,
I just look at him and I think, "Holy shit, I am with him."
I mean I want to be, I love him, but it's like,
fuck, this is really happening,
and it's overwhelming, and I feel like I'm looking down from a tightrope,
and I thought that feeling might change once we got married,
but it's, uh...
Never mind, uh...
I get anxious and I don't know why.
It's like it's waiting for me around the corner
and I just don't know when it's gonna pop out.
What?
Nothing.
What?
Carrie invited me on this camping trip
every day at work for the past week.
When she said you were going,
I just said, "Yeah, sure."
What? Uh, um...
Why?
I don't know.
I think maybe it was when I talked to you at your birthday,
you just seemed so wound up,
and I guess maybe that there was...
part of me that wanted to... unwind you.
I'm really not sure.
Oh my gosh, it's so cold.
We just gotta get some body heat goin'.
Okay, Nena, I'm dying,
- so you're gonna have to get in here. - Okay.
This is gonna sound weird,
but your hair smells really good.
Well, thank you.
Mom and dad are fighting again, you guys.
I know, they've gotten so bad.
Eh, they were always kinda bad.
Well, I'm sure once they're married everything will be fine.
I mean, that's how it works, right?
Oh, absolutely.
We never fight. Not really.
Oh, come on, seriously never?
Well, Drew won't fight with me.
Well, I'm a lover, not a fighter. What can I say?
Ooh, la, la.
Thanks for letting me crash with you guys.
Yeah.
Oh shit, man.
Oh my God.
Wow.
I have to talk to you about something.
Wanna get Thai food?
Just tell me...
tell me how you're feeling.
I... think...
that I need to know how you're feeling,
so I can decide how I'm feeling.
I feel uneasy.
Because she kissed you?
I don't think that's it.
Okay.
Because you... liked it?
Maybe.
And that's makin' you uneasy, because it's new or...
Because we're married.
I'm only supposed to love you, that is supposed to be enough.
- But enough what? - I don't know.
And yeah, yes, I liked it.
I liked it. I have barely ever even been with a girl,
but I liked it.
You kissed a girl?
- Yeah. - And you liked it?
I feel shitty, I feel like a shit person.
Why?
Because...
I don't really feel... anything.
Yeah, I mean, I feel bad that you feel bad.
And... and that isn't weird to you
that you don't feel betrayed or anything?
I mean, do you want me to?
Goddammit, no! I just want something.
What then? What? What do you want?
You want me to take my shirt off?
You want me throw you against the wall, piss on the floor?
I just want you to engage with this emotionally
and not like it's some fucking puzzle to solve.
I want you to have an opinion at least.
I... I need you to try.
I need you to tell me, your wife, how you really feel.
Horny.
Okay, horny.
- Horny. - Okay.
Look... we're together forever, right?
We signed the thing, that's taken care of.
We're solid.
We're solid, right?
I mean of course, yeah,
but what if this... It changes us?
If something were to happen,
is it worth risking what we have?
Say that we don't see her again
and us, this... We just stay exactly the same.
Is that really what you want?
It's almost 9:00.
I didn't shave my pussy.
Do you think I should shave my pussy?
Pussy's fine, your pussy's great, your pussy is dynamite.
I washed it, I just didn't shave it.
Not that anything's gonna happen.
I just wonder if I feel more confident if... You know?
Sure, if that's what you want.
Well, should I or shouldn't I?
It's whatever you want, you know?
You know, though, I have been noticing in porn
that the shaved look is kind of goin' out of fashion.
- You would know. - Groomed for sure,
but the middle-school look is a little '90s.
Nothing is gonna happen anyways.
I don't know why I'm acting like this.
You're right, okay? We're gonna take it slow
and we're just gonna hang out. Okay?
- You look really nice. - Yeah?
Hm. Very handsome.
- You clean up good. - Thank you, baby.
Are you sure that you're okay?
Hey, guys.
I think I'm gonna have to take a lift home at this point.
- What part of town are you in? - Well, it's like mid-city.
I sleep on a couch in a little house I share with my brother.
And you get along with him?
It's more like there's just a lot of personality for one space.
And then, plus, he has this rotating cast
of boyfriends, and ex-boyfriends,
and some fuck buddies, and just drama.
- But at least, you're getting the full LA experience? - I guess.
I mean we've been together for what? Six years now?
- Six years. - Right, just the two of us, you know?
So we never got that whole bohemian phase
that everyone else in this town seems to get.
Well, it's overrated.
I mean, most of them are just trust-fund babies posing as starving artists
and the rest of them are actually starving.
Which one are you?
Now? Oh, now, I'm starving.
And in Paris?
You guys really wanna hear about Paris?
Uh, it's very cliche, just...
Yeah, 'cause we meet so many French models, we're really getting sick of it.
Come on, tell us about it.
A photographer that I knew from New York,
Lionel, was in Paris shooting a series for Clinique,
and he asked me to come check it out,
and I ended up doing some test shoots for him,
and they loved it, so he started getting work all over town.
Hm.
And those first few months
were the most romantic period of my whole life.
Just, like, the city, and the attitude, the coke, the molly.
See, I warned you this would be a cliche.
I know this sounds stupid, because it is just modeling,
but the work was really gratifying and the drugs helped,
but really it was the fact that I was in love.
You know, it gave me confidence like I could try anything with Lionel.
What happened?
Well, I started getting bigger offers
from companies who wanted to use their own photographers
and Lionel was...
He was extremely jealous, and possessive,
which made it really hard to live with.
And of course, every time I left the house,
he was convinced that I was sleeping with the whole city, so...
You know, when things just start getting messy,
it's like, um,
fights, and the drugs, I don't know...
Blah, blah.
And then one day, I came home after doing a shoot with another photographer
and I found him dead in the bathroom.
Punch line though is that after he killed himself, my offers tripled.
I mean it was just disgusting.
So um, yeah, just fucked off back to LA.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry.
Oh, no. I'm sorry we made you talk about it.
No, it's fine.
That... that point in my life I felt like
I was being driven by this really powerful thing.
I just felt like I was so filled up,
I just felt like I was bursting,
and every instinct I had was just so clean,
and so clear, and, um...
I think I'm just really scared that I won't be able to get that feeling back.
I'm sorry.
Oh, you know what? This is what it probably is.
She works at a coffee shop, right? Coffee shops open early.
4:00 in the morning?
I don't know.
Do you think it's something we did?
Or she felt weird or...
- we took advantage of her? - No.
- She was upset. - No, look,
it was a great time, right? We all had a great time.
Yeah... I guess.
I think I did.
You think?
I don't know.
Well, from where I was sitting,
it looked like you were having an exorcism,
to be completely honest with you.
So why do I feel like shit right now?
Dopamine drop off, hangover, Catholic upbringing.
Do you think she just wanted a one-night stand?
What if we take this experience
and now that we know that we're into it, we can find other people.
How?
You know, things have changed a lot since we started dating.
- Kids today, they... - "Kids today", you say that now?
Yeah, kids today,
they just... they clickety-clack on their phones
and boom, freaky sex town.
It's honestly, it's like ordering Papa John's.
Hi, thank you.
- Hey. - Hey.
Can I get you some coffee?
No, I just wanted to, uh, come by and say hi.
And make sure you were doin' okay.
Yeah, that's sweet. I'm doing good.
- What about you guys? - Good.
You left before we could...
Oh, hey, Drew! Give me a second, I have to use the restroom.
Look, I just wanted to say that we had a really good time last night.
Yeah, I... I did, too.
And we really like hangin' out with you.
I really like you guys, too.
Nena really likes you, you know?
I just don't wanna make things complicated, you know?
For you guys or for me.
I get it. I get it.
I mean, last night was amazing, I mean, really amazing,
but have you guys actually thought this through?
I mean, what would be the best possible outcome if we were to...
Oh, I don't know.
Look, I could come up with
a whole list of end-game scenarios
for how this is gonna play out,
but I'm really tryin' hard not to do that
with stuff like this, you know?
All I know is, I've never seen her like this, ever, you know?
And she would... She'd kill me if she knew I was here, but...
but I just wanna see her happy.
What about you?
I mean what'd make you happy?
Do you wanna see us again?
Yes, I want to see you again.
Then, tell her so.
God, I am wrecked.
John and I, we were up until like 1:00 a.m. last night, we were watching The Office.
You know, that Michael Scott, he gets me every time.
Oh, sorry.
I don't know.
Uh...
Is it weird that I'm starting to feel bad for normal couples?
Bad how?
Like it's some default setting they don't know to change
or they secretly want to, but won't.
Or they cheat or divorce.
Or they bottle it all up, and let their animosity grow,
and then one day,
they come home, and shove you in a potato sack...
It's just unrealistic to expect one person
to fulfill all your needs for the rest of your life.
Yeah.
You need at least two people for that.
Well, it's a start. You know what I mean.
I just think it's unrealistic to ask anyone to fulfill you.
I think everyone's responsible for their own happiness.
Those are the two happiest people up here.
You guys should totally get a dog.
Uh, we're not allowed to have pets at the apartment.
There is nothing in that relationship that needs to be ironed out.
There's no negotiation, no fighting,
they just... love each other.
I wonder how their sex life is.
I think we got them beat there.
Hey.
You're all perked up.
Yeah, just hiked up Griffith.
I ran up actually.
With your married couple?
Yep.
Rent.
I'm working on it.
Move.
You're working on it?
You work like two shifts a week at a cafe
and then you spend the rest of your time laying around my living room
or doin' nature walks with bored married couples.
Why don't you just ask mom and dad for the rest?
I mean they pay for every other fuckin' thing for you.
They helped me out with a couple of things
as a favor for letting you crash here.
- Otherwise you'd just show up on their doorstep. - Jesus.
So like your couple, are they gonna add you to their cellphone plan
or I mean I don't know, how does it work when you...
when you tack yourself onto someone's relationship.
Look, I know that you and Ethan are having a hard time right now,
but you really don't need to take it out on me.
I mean, I'm sorry that I'm happy for once.
And I'm happy for you as long as you realize
that this whole thing you're doing is idiotic.
Why are you being such a prick?
I mean how's this any of your business?
- I'm just sayin'. - You're saying what?
I'm just saying that they're using you
to work through their own problems.
I can't tell you how many of my friends are doing the same fuckin' shit.
"Yeah, let's invite three people,
four people, ten, whatever."
It always ends in drama.
Like you would know.
I'm TNT, bitch, I know drama.
Well, I hate to break it to you, but we don't have any drama.
Okay, yet.
No, honestly, I mean they're just like really fuckin' chill.
They don't even fight with each other.
Okay, well... Now I know they're full of shit.
Oh, what? Come on, you don't even wanna talk about it?
I'm taking a shower.
Rent.
It's the Mediterranean one. That's the one you like, right?
Oh, great.
It's hard to keep up with you sometimes, you know,
like, what you like, what you don't like?
It's fine, thanks.
You guys are, uh, popular?
Yeah, it's Olivia, she's having a roommate drama.
Hm, I'll bet. Can you imagine living with her?
Okay, I'm sorry I have to.
- Carrie. - No, I have to.
You don't have to.
You have to what?
I saw you the other day.
You think you saw her.
- I know, John. - Saw me what?
With Olivia, in the parking lot, at Silverlight Coffee,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G-ing.
I'm sorry, Drew.
No, um, I'm sorry.
Look, you guys are our friends.
We should have told you sooner.
Told us what?
We're dating.
Like how?
We're... um... we're seeing each other, the three of us.
You guys are fucking Olivia.
John.
Why?
What do you mean?
Well, you're married. You're supposed to... You're not...
Well, if you guys were having problems, why didn't you come to us?
We weren't, we aren't.
And even if we were, what makes you such an authority
on healthy relationships that we would come to you?
Hey, I think what we're like all tryin'
to understand here is who does what,
who does what with who, and what goes in...
Okay, that's not what we're asking.
Look, we can talk about it if you're curious.
- I don't care. - Well, I kind of do.
I don't want to know. I don't need to know.
I... I'm just shocked and I... I didn't think that you were like...
- Like what? - Like twisted.
- Twisted? - Mm.
Okay, no, you're not twisted.
At least, we don't have to fight every time we wanna fuck.
- Nena. - No, that's why I don't wanna say anything.
Who do you think you are?
Well, we're getting married, and it's scary,
and we look up to you guys as like an example,
and then it turns out you've just been like
sleeping with someone this entire time. I just feel betrayed.
You know, um, I think we're gonna take off.
Our girlfriend is coming over
and we're gonna order pad thai.
Wait, guys.
Guys, Nena, wait.
We just don't wanna see you guys throw away what you have.
We've never been happier.
Uh...
I was gonna eat that.
Can we come out yet?
No!
I have to pee.
That's not true.
It's kind of fun to be kept waiting, isn't it?
This is annoying as fuck.
Are we... doing the right thing?
Do not let Carrie get into your head.
I don't give a shit what she thinks.
Who does she think she is, seriously?
Look, she's insecure, that's all.
Can you just hate her with me for a second?
Do you want me to kill her?
- Yes. - How?
I will do it for you.
Yeah, she can't move in with us.
Okay, I didn't even know that that was on the table, so...
I mean she can crash here a couple of nights,
but I don't think we're ready for more than that.
Do you?
I'm... not ready if you're not ready, or it's whatever you want.
Hm.
Okay, kids.
Oh, my God. Look at this.
I thought I'd be romantic.
Oh, my God, look at all this stuff.
- I love it. - Good?
Yeah, it looks great.
- Yeah. - You did all this?
With my bare hands. Just for you. You see that now.
Perfect.
Well...
to you guys.
Thank you for getting me out of the house.
No, fuck that.
- To us. - To us.
Us.
We should probably invest in a third stool.
Are you awake?
Yeah.
What will you do for rent?
Try to pick up more shifts?
I don't know.
My brother's just nuts and he makes it very clear
that it's his place and not mine.
I need to get the fuck out of there,
but it still doesn't solve my rent problem,
'cause, um...
I'm thinking about quitting the coffee shop.
Hm.
Because of Carrie?
No, I... I don't give a shit about that.
It actually is something to do with what you were saying.
I should just be doing something.
So I've been thinking about getting back into acting.
Really?
That's great.
I just loved it, you know?
I just had so much in me that I just wanted to get out.
And, uh...
and then, for a while, I just had nothing.
But I still have that voice in the back of my head
that's just telling me, "Just go for it."
- Hm. - I don't know.
It's hard for me to trust it, because of what happened last time.
I'm never sure of anything.
I'm still not sure about this.
I wasn't even sure when I married Drew.
Maybe Carrie is right, maybe I am twisted.
You know, maybe it's not about being sure or unsure.
Maybe it's just about being brave.
You could stay with us for a while if you wanted to.
I want you to.
Morning.
Hey, I hope you're okay with this.
It was just driving me nuts seeing you live out of bags.
I just want you to feel at home.
I do.
Shit.
What?
I just didn't get that short.
The USC thing?
I'm not even qualified enough to be murdered in a student film.
Oh, come on.
But if I can't even book something that doesn't pay,
how am I ever gonna book something that does?
You'll crack it, don't worry.
I guess I just feel like a mooch.
Would you stop? We really don't mind.
So, I have to go to work in a bit.
What are you guys up to today?
Cool, cool.
Cool.
All these roles are just such garbage.
Just like rape victims seeking revenge
or quirky love interest for a whiny white guy.
It's like manic pixie dream girl shit.
You know, I once did web development
for a trans porn site called "manic pixie dick girls"?
You know, sometimes when we're hooking up,
you start acting like one of those porn guys?
A porn guy?
Mm-hm.
There are certain things that you say
and there is a way that your voice gets...
It seems a bit affected, I don't know.
Affected?
All right.
- Okay. - No, no, it's hot.
Do not get me wrong.
It's just sometimes it seems like you're acting
or like putting on a performance.
Well, in all fairness, sex sort of is like a performance.
I mean you're acting, you're reacting.
Improvising.
Okay, but like even going with that,
any good performance reveals some kind of truth.
It's like with Nena, you know?
How she feels like she has to overthink every little thing.
Until and unless she's in the bedroom.
Yes, exactly.
And then a switch gets flipped,
and she's this wild pleasure-seeking adventurer
that she really is.
She just likes to be taken, you know,
and that's revealing.
Do you know that sometimes when we're having...
When we're fucking.
I, uh, act like I'm in control,
because I know that that's what she wants me to do.
You know, and it's fun, but I don't know,
it's like... it's not something that comes naturally to me.
No, I... I get that.
You know, that's one of the reasons
with you why it's so good, because you know, you are...
How do I put this... More, um...
Aggressive.
Aggressive, you know?
And she loves that.
And I love that.
I don't know, I think this whole aggressive thing
is actually new for me.
At least, all those like years of modeling and acting,
just being told what to do all the time,
so I like being bossy when I get the chance.
- Really? - Mm-hm.
You know, it's funny you should say that,
because... there is this, uh...
this thing...
that I've wanted to try for a while.
Okay.
Are you ready, boy?
Yes, step on me, please.
Did you just tell me what to do?
No, I was just asking.
Shut the fuck up.
Open your mouth.
Which one?
What?
You want me to shut up or you want me to open my mouth.
Ow!
I'm so sorry, are you okay?
No, I'm good. I'm okay. I'm...
No, you're not.
You're in a lot of trouble, do you understand me?
Mm-hm.
- Hey, baby. - Hi.
Right where I left you.
More or less.
Hey!
What happened here?
Oh, you know, just...
So how was your day?
All right.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
So are you mad or...
I'm not mad.
I shouldn't even be surprised.
I'm at work all day and yeah, what else would you guys do?
We haven't even talked about whether we can
sleep with each other if we're not all here.
I assumed you guys already had.
Yeah, well, we haven't.
Well, I thought to text you and ask you if it was okay,
but then I thought that would be weird, so...
I honestly thought you guys had talked about this.
I thought we were all on the same page.
I guess we're not.
I have a question.
Since we've been seeing each other,
have you guys been sleeping with anyone else?
I haven't.
No, of course not.
But if I wanted to...
Do you want to?
No, there's... I mean there's no one in particular,
but if you think about it, it's not really equal.
How?
So we're all in this relationship,
but you two are still in your own relationship.
Like if I wasn't here,
would you two still sleep together?
Well... yeah.
Not that we have.
What is that supposed to mean?
We just haven't in a while.
I'm working all day.
You guys get to hang out, and go to brunch,
and do weird sex shit, and I'm stuck at work. That's not fair.
Okay, so when it's somethin' I wanna do, suddenly it's weird.
It is weird. I'm sorry, Drew, it is fucking weird.
That is so unfair.
Do you not understand how unfair that is?
Look, if you guys need to talk, I can just step out.
Yeah, but that's... No, because that's unfair, too,
because we all agreed to this, you live here now,
you're a part of this, and you shouldn't have to leave.
But maybe me staying with you guys, it's just...
Maybe you're not ready for that, you know?
Maybe this is just a mistake.
No, I want you here, just the idea of you two without me...
You two were the ones that wanted this whole free-flowing California shit.
I do want it to be free,
I don't wanna hold either of you back,
but we are married.
There are some things that are just ours
and we should respect that.
Okay, like what?
Like...
I don't want the two of you together without me.
I'm sorry, I just don't.
Okay.
And I know that's not equal
and it puts you in a weird position,
so if you wanna sleep with other people, then...
I guess... you know.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, I got you.
Where are you going?
Just going out for a bit.
But where, though?
I don't know, I'm just going out. Out.
Out.
If you're asking me to move back in, the answer's "no".
I'm not.
Like I'm sorry things aren't working out
with your married couple, but you know, I need my space.
I'm not, it's fine.
Ethan and I are... are talking again.
That's great. Feeling very optimistic for you both.
Thank you. Yeah.
You know, if he stops being an idiot,
it might actually work out this time.
Why is he an idiot, again?
Oh, he just like won't admit that he needs me, you know?
Fucked up as I am, I'm what he wants.
Why's that? You're just hot shit.
Oh, fuck off.
- Do you wanna know why though, honestly? - Mm-hm.
Because I... I learned it from you.
You get them all riled up, you get them on the hook,
and then you push 'em away.
What do you mean?
Well, like I didn't speak to him for like...
like a month or whatever, right?
That made him realize how badly he needed me.
- Yeah, but... - Like, I'm a mess.
Look at me, you know? And he wants me.
He's desperate to get back with me.
And I don't even think he cares if I fuck around on him or whatever, you know?
He's always just gonna keep coming back to me.
I don't do that, though.
Yeah, you do.
You've been doing that since middle school.
You find someone, pull 'em in, to the point
that they're like obsessed with you,
and then you just pull away.
- That's bullshit. - You want another beer?
She's been gone a while.
Say something.
Like what?
Something.
Give me something.
I am not going to fight with you.
I'm not asking for a fight.
Obviously, you need somebody to fight with,
and it's not going to be me.
You know, not saying anything can be just as aggressive
as pissing in someone's face?
You know that, right?
But you like this, don't you?
Being treated like shit?
This is what you want, right?
To be walked all over...
Nena.
Fuck me. Who am I to say "no", you know.
Fuck me for loving you too much, for...
for not wanting to see you that way,
for not wanting to... to degrade you.
- Oh, please. - What did she do?
What? Did she step on you? Did she call you names?
Did she call you a "bitch"?
Yes.
And... and that's fun for you, to be treated like dirt, to be treated like shit?
Actually, it was fun. It was really fun.
It was fuckin' amazing, if you really wanna know.
Well... well, fuck it, I can do that,
- if that's what you want. - No.
No, no, no, I... I can do that.
I can treat you like shit.
I don't want you to.
Why... why her and not me?
Why?
Because Olivia doesn't actually see me that way.
All right.
Hey.
Where have you been?
I have been out.
Did you have fun?
What?
With whoever you were out with, what'd you guys do?
What are you doing?
I'm not doing anything. What are you doing?
I'm going to drink some water and go to bed.
Fine.
But it was fun, though?
What was... What fun? Have you seen my water bottle?
The friend you saw, who I don't know.
Is it a him or her?
Did you fuck them, him or her?
That's a rude question.
It's fine, if you did. I just... I have the right to know.
Do you?
Yes, actually I do. We're dating, you're living here.
Yeah, under your roof, yeah.
No, I hear you loud and fucking clear.
Where... where is my water bottle?
Why do you keep moving all of my shit?
It's in the cabinet across from the refrigerator.
Where?
Behind the plastic cups.
Well, it's not fuckin' here, so...
Just tell me, did you do it or not?
Well, if I did, that would be all right
according to your little flow chart, right?
My flowchart?
Well, you get to fuck Drew, I get to fuck you guys together,
then I get to fuck whoever I want.
I mean that was the deal, right, fair and equal?
I meant that abstractly.
I'm not yours and you're not mine,
you made that very clear.
That's not what I said.
It doesn't matter.
You did it, didn't you?
- You did it. Who with even? - Nena.
Just tell me, did you do it or not?
Why are you just so fuckin' insecure?
- I'm insecure? - Yes.
That's why you have to manage and control everyone around you.
- It's because you're terrified. - I'm terrified?
Yes.
At least, I'm not the one who's so afraid of getting hurt
that I go after someone who's already married.
What?
Makes sense why you'd want me, so you can only go so deep,
so you only have to love and be loved so much,
so... so you always have just one foot on the shore.
Is this the shit that goes through your head?
And because I already have someone,
you can just leave whenever you want guilt-free,
and you don't have to commit to anyone or anything.
Okay, I'm not the one with the weird commitment issues.
You telling me shit like
you don't know if marrying Drew was the right decision?
How am I supposed to take that?
You know, that's not what I meant.
I was saying despite how uncertain I am, I still move forward.
You do that because the alternatives terrify you.
You were terrified of being alone
and that's why you married Drew
but you still feel alone when you're with him,
and that's why you wanted me here to begin with.
That is not true.
You know, at least, I'm not afraid of getting hurt.
You know, it's good to hurt.
It's good to have something to hurt about.
And you need to be brave in order to hurt.
You don't know my hurt.
You don't know what it's like to take a step
and then suddenly the ground just crumbles beneath you for no reason.
You don't know how terrifying it is
to walk through life like that
so you don't get to talk to me about being brave.
I can't do this.
What are you doing?
You know what I'm doing.
I'm sorry.
Hey.
Hey!
Oh, hey.
We haven't seen you in like forever!
Yeah, I know. I've just been, um...
Yeah, we heard. I'm sorry.
Heard what?
Oh, well, Olivia came back to the cafe
and she told me what happened.
Oh.
And uh, she's uh, coming to the wedding, too,
just FYI, if that's cool.
Okay.
Sorry, when is that, again?
Uh, this weekend.
Oh, shit. Sorry, you guys.
I mean you are coming, right,
'cause I know you didn't send back the RSVP
but you have to come.
Of course, I'll... I'll be there.
- Cool. - Um, oh!
Do you wanna tell her about the thing?
Tell her about what thing?
- Yeah, what thing? - The thing!
Oh, um, my boss hooked me up with some molly
and it's supposed to be pretty good.
Mm-hm, we're gonna do it like a pre-wedding celebration
and you guys should come over.
I'll ask Drew.
Drew?
Can you come out and talk to me like a grown-up, please?
No.
How much longer with this?
I don't know.
I like it in here.
It's in the middle of the living room.
Is it?
John and Carrie wanna hang out tonight.
- You wanna go? - No.
They say they have molly, it could be fun.
Take our minds off all this.
It's a really terrible idea.
Can we at least try to go back to normal?
This whole thing has me so confused
and I just want to go back to where we were.
Do you know what the definition of insanity is?
Setting up a tent in the middle of the living room?
We can't go back...
and we can't go forward,
because you don't know where you wanna go.
Because I don't know?
Because it's always on me, always.
Because you're a control freak and that's fine with me.
I love that. I just wish that being in control
made you happier, you know?
I want you to be happy. Your happiness is my happiness
and I haven't been happy lately.
it's before Olivia,
before we were married even.
So that's on me too, right?
I'm making you unhappy.
I fucking live to serve you.
I do, and I would worship at your feet
if you, you know, would let me.
- Drew, stop. - No, this is...
Listen, this is who I am.
This is who the fuck I am.
I like being told what to do,
and I like being a support beam,
and I just wanted you to be comfortable with that.
You know? And I know...
Look, I know you don't love me
- as much as I love you. - Drew.
And I guess a part of me always knew
that you didn't really wanna marry me,
but I figured...
like, in time you would, you know,
be as committed to me as I am to you.
Or at least be comfortable with who we are.
I am comfortable.
You are the only person I'm comfortable with.
You take me for granted...
and that's not the same thing.
I let you have control,
because I trust you,
but Nena, you are flyin' us into a fuckin' mountain.
You're leaving, aren't you?
I think maybe you need to be alone right now.
This is such horseshit.
- Do not tell me what I need! - Fine.
- You wanna leave, say it. - I don't want any of this.
Say it, just fuckin' say it.
You're not bein' a very good friend to yourself right now.
You're right.
I am not being a good friend to myself.
I have one friend left and he is leaving
but he won't fucking admit it.
I'm leaving.
Hey, I'm Drew.
- Ethan. Hey. - Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
And this is my brother Benny, he's really nice.
I get it, I guess.
Welcome home.
Mm.
I don't know what the fuck I was thinking.
Hey. Hey, Nena Bonena.
Coffina. Fee-fi-fo finna-bina.
Neen, chickadee, chickadee,
you don't have nothing to worry about, okay?
Okay, girlfriend, I just want you to know
that you are perfect and wonderful,
and you are so sweet, and you're special.
You're my special Barbie doll, and you should be proud
and I'm... 'cause I'm proud of you,
and I love you... so much.
I'm really glad you guys ran into me.
I missed you so much.
Of course.
You know, Nena, I feel really bad
about what happened last time.
I was being a judgmental biatch.
I'm really, really sorry.
You're my friends and you were right.
We were being naive and so fucking stupid,
I can't believe it now!
No! You know, I actually thought you were being really brave.
- Yeah. - 'Cause you know
we've always kind of looked up to you guys.
Well, I don't know if we're exactly role models.
So you don't have to go, like, too into it,
but what exactly happened?
Mm...
sometimes things get messy.
You know, when you have two people,
you can, like, chart their bullshit
on a straight line
but then you add a third,
and it, like, triangulates things
and makes a map of problems.
I just miss them. I fucking miss them right now.
But what was it like?
What are you... I just told you.
No.
That's not what we were uh...
Oh. What...
what he means is, like, what about the...
Like the sex?
The sex.
Oh, like, just the sex?
- The sex. - Yeah, the sex.
Fun.
Like really, really fun.
Pure pleasure, pure fun, and discovery,
- no judgment. - Mm-hm.
And then afterwards, you have to grapple with,
"What was that?"
And it depends on the person.
I have my whatever issues.
Oh, but it was great.
That sounds... great.
- Like really great. - Mm.
Mm, oh.
Oh, no. Nope.
Nope, nope, nope, no, no, no.
Wait, really?
Carrie, you guys...
What the fuck?
But I thought you wanted to.
Why would you...
Oh my God, I gotta go.
Wait, no, no, I'm sorry, I totally misunderstood.
I thought you would be into it.
Why? Because I'm automatically down for three ways?
I'm the three-way girl now?
No, no, no, Nena, no, we're sorry.
We're just... we... we really just fucked up.
Did you guys plan this?
No!
Okay, maybe it was like in the back of our minds,
but I don't... I don't know.
I don't know what I was thinking. It's just...
You know, we're getting married in like two days
and it's just such a massive leap.
And?
Yeah, and we know each other so well, but we don't know...
Like how do you know how well you know someone
and how much... How deep your love goes
if you don't push yourself into those scary places, you know?
Yeah, all that stuff.
We need to know and we want to do it
with someone who we can trust, do you know what I mean?
You know, anybody can get married.
You don't have to take a test or anything.
You're not doing anything special or original,
including whatever this was.
If you don't trust each other, don't fucking do it.
Don't do any of it.
This is not gonna solve anything.
If you've got some gap you're trying to fill,
this isn't gonna do it.
Wait, you're still coming to the wedding, right?
Are you awake?
Yeah.
I can't sleep.
Is it the couch?
I don't know what I'm doin' here.
Do you wanna go back?
Do you know what she said to me this morning?
Hm.
She said, "Can we just go back to normal?"
Back to normal.
I mean we can't just... go back.
'Cause there's more than one way to go back.
You can... find someone new, you know...
a different city or a different country.
Convince yourself that they are different,
and that you're different,
and this time will be different.
You just end up doing the same shit
that you've always done.
You think that's what we did?
I don't know.
I mean, it felt right with both of you.
You know, it was new, it wasn't familiar,
it was innocent, weirdly.
You think it would ever work out?
Just me and you?
I don't know.
What do you think?
I wish I could say "yes".
It was good there for a while, wasn't it?
Yeah. For a while there it was.
Should we go soon?
Yeah, probably.
So is your wife gonna be there?
Um, probably not, no.
You don't think so?
No, I mean I gotta drag her out of the house to do anything.
You know, I had to drag her to our wedding, so,
and I'm not exaggerating about that.
No, I believe you.
That's fucked up.
You look handsome when you dress up.
- Really? - Mm-hm.
That's what Nena's always saying.
In this case, she's tellin' the truth.
Thanks, man.
Nena always tells the truth,
she just backtracks on everything she says.
She doesn't trust herself.
Is there any more coffee?
Shit.
You want me to make some more, babe?
Oh, no, it's okay, I'll just have some of yours.
You know what your problem is?
No, but I'd absolutely love for you to tell us.
Great.
All you guys been doing is talking shit
about how insecure whatever this chick is, right?
Like how she can't decide what she wants,
but how are you guys any different?
You're just hiding here,
because you don't know what you want either.
I just want a normal relationship.
No, you don't,
otherwise you would have one.
Well, that might be oversimplifyin' things.
Yeah.
Or no, I don't think so.
What's a normal relationship anyway?
I love weddings.
- Really? - Yeah.
I mean I hate marriages, but I actually love weddings.
Attracts.
- Oh fuck! - What's wrong?
I just realized today is Nena and I's anniversary.
Oh, my God.
What are you gonna do when she shows up?
I don't know!
I mean there's a lot to consider.
Oh, you said you weren't gonna do that
when it comes to stuff like this, so...
- What does your gut say? - Okay, fine.
The one thing that I can come up with,
and I guess I've been thinking about this for a while now...
But I'm pretty sure...
No, fuck that, I'm fuckin' sure.
Uh-huh.
I wanna get a dog.
I'm gettin' a dog.
- Okay. - I'm gettin' a dog.
- That is a good start. - Okay.
Are we late?
Uh, I don't know. Are we early?
What is goin' on?
Where is John?
Is... is that John?
- Hey, man. - Hey.
Wedding's off, bro.
- What? Why? - Where is Carrie?
She won't come out of the car and...
I think I really fucked up.
You ruined everything.
How's that?
We never cheated on each other or anything, and...
we have this perfect record, and it means nothing,
and you're right,
getting married isn't gonna fix anything,
we made this huge mistake, and we can't take it back,
and now everything's ruined.
What mistake?
John thinks I'm in love with you.
Like, after the other night,
all this, like, ugliness just came pouring out of him.
Like I've never seen before.
Like jealousy and anger.
Are you?
Am I what?
In love with me?
I think I more just wanna, like, be you.
I, um...
I can't even begin to explain how misguided that is.
But you're interesting.
John and me were boring, we have dumb fights
and then we make up, and then we have sex,
and then we get takeout, and we're boring,
like I'm boring.
Every relationship is boring sometimes.
There's nothing wrong with boring
as long as it's what you want.
I don't know what I want anymore.
Do you love him?
I do. I really, really do,
but... but I just... I don't know, like,
am I gonna love him forever?
Is he gonna love me forever?
I just don't know.
So?
I'm sorry about the other night.
I don't know what I was thinking.
- Hey. - Hey.
I heard you guys had some fun the other night.
Fun isn't how I'd describe this whole thing.
Wait, look. Look.
Well, I guess the wedding's back on.
Or not.
You think John and Carrie will be all right?
Uh, maybe, maybe not.
They definitely weren't ready today.
Well, we weren't ready when we got married either, so...
I wasn't sure about marrying you.
I am sure about being married to you.
Why?
Why now?
Because you spent a few days alone?
Because...
It's true. I'm afraid of being alone.
I'm afraid of a lot of things.
But that's not why I wanna be with you...
or you.
I have a lot of things that are broken in me
and you can't fix them.
I won't ask you to, either of you.
You have to believe that I want to get better,
I wanna feel better,
I don't wanna walk through life in this constant panic.
I've said that a lot.
I want to change, but it's fucking hard,
and I'm not asking you to fix me.
I'm realizing I... I probably need, like,
legit professional help for that.
I'm only asking you to love me.
I'm only asking for your patience while I work it out.
Probably a lot of patience,
probably a lot more patience than I have a right to ask for.
But that's what I'm asking for.
I... I don't wanna wait for... for this to be perfect
or for me to be perfect, I want you now.
But not because I need you to fit, like,
perfect pieces inside me,
but because you're you.
And you're you.
And I want you.
I want us.
I want us, too.
God help me.
It's what I want.
How about... Thai food?
You guys want that?
Yeah.
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