Attention, attention.
For viewers who are already in the cinema,
please do not step outside, except to go the toilet,
for the movie is about to begin.
Thanks to the people of Jakarta who have helped and supported
the making of this film.
Without their help and support...
Well, we would have just moved to another city.
Thief!
Mr. Thief! You run so fast!
Mister!
Mister! Wait, mister! Mr. Thief!
He's very fast!
Thank you, sir.
Mr. Thief, I've been calling you but you keep running. And so fast, too.
I just need this address. You can keep the wallet.
It's empty, anyway.
That face. I think I know this guy.
Dit, is that you?
Hey, Boris!
-What are you doing here? -What are you doing in Jakarta?
-I'm looking for a job. -Looking for work? Me, too.
-Where do you plan to stay in Jakarta? -Around here.
Me, too. I'm heading to Bird Road, Beo Alley, number 9.
-You want to rent there? -Yes.
Hello? Yes, honey. I am on the bus.
Who is going to pick me up at the terminal?
Bring an air-conditioned car, will you?
All right, see you later.
-That phone is a good fit for the person. -How?
Both are old-fashioned.
Hello?
Sorry I am late. I was at the salon. I had a flat tire.
Okay, then. See you later. Bye.
Hello? Luci! I'm late.
Could you please tell Mr. Raymond?
If anything comes up, just call me.
Thank you.
See you.
Hello. Hey, Mr. Edy.
Yeah. I'll be there soon.
I got to go, see you soon. Great.
He talks with his hair.
That's crazy.
Dit, now this is what you call modern comedy.
Crazy.
CRAZY MODERN COMEDY
Papaya, mango, banana and guava
Guava
They were brought from Pasar Minggu
Minggu
Many sellers there
Sellers
Many buyers in the city
Papaya, mango, banana and guava
Guava
They were brought from Pasar Minggu
Minggu
Many sellers there
Sellers
Many buyers in the city
Papaya, oranges, guava, rambutan, durian
Lanzones and many others
Let us all
Buy some fruits
ROOMS FOR RENT BOYS AND GIRLS
BIRD ROAD BEO ALLEY
Oh, my God!
Hey, what are you praying for?
I'm praying the three-wheelers will always have three wheels.
Why?
They drive like hell with three wheels, imagine with four.
That would be crazy.
Judging from this fallen sign board, this is the boarding house.
The address is also correct.
But why number six and not number nine?
You're right. Okay, then. Let's find another place.
Come on.
Excuse me, ma'am. Is this house number six or nine?
-It's nine, sir. -So it's not number six?
Well, this is nine.
That's common.
It's my routine every morning to fix the number, from six to nine.
So this is the address.
-You want to rent a room here? -That's right.
-Follow me. -I'll follow you.
I'll follow, too.
-Are you a tenant, too? -No. I'm the household assistant.
-Your name must be Inem. -No.
So sexy.
The girls are upstairs. Boys are downstairs.
This place is cool!
Do not go upstairs. It will be bad if madam catches you.
Dit! Dit! Dodit!
You haven't rented and you have showered already?
Why are you both wet?
-We got caught in the rain, ma'am. -I don't think it's raining.
It's localized, ma'am. Only over the two of us.
Are you related?
Yes, ma'am. Our grandmothers are the same.
His grandmother and my grandmother are both grandmothers.
-That's right. -She is not laughing, Dit.
Maybe we're not that funny, Ris.
Here. Study this.
BOARDING HOUSE RULES
If you break even one rule, you will be disrespectfully expelled.
You can pay in cash or transfer.
I don't accept credit cards, checks or Giro.
Currency, rupiah. For one year payment, you will get one month free.
You can pay weekly installments.
As long as on the first of every month, you pay the exact amount of two million.
So sweet.
There is one strict rule that is not written in the book.
If I catch the two of you staring at my daughter Karin like that once more...
Boris.
Ris. Boris.
What a jerk. I waited for you but you want to leave me.
Sorry!
Why are you apologizing? It's me who bumped into you.
Why are you closing your eyes?
Mrs. Maya will be angry if I look at you.
-Why? -I don't know. That's what she said.
That's the rule.
-You're new here, huh? -Yes.
What's your name?
Dodit.
You said you're not allowed to look at me. Why would you shake my hand?
I'm not allowed to look at you, but shaking hands is not yet prohibited.
Okay. To be fair, I will also close my eyes.
-I'm Karin. -I'm Dodit.
Are you peeking?
Just a little.
Mom!
My, my. There are still people like you these days.
But he's kind of cute, like Eddie Murphy.
-I don't know. Let's watch a movie. -Where?
The occupants upstairs are pretty.
I'm curious, I would to see the nest.
Gosh, the ladders are very long.
Ris! Boris!
Ris! The rules, guys are not allowed upstairs! Come here!
Hi, I'm Boris. The new tenant.
Sasha. How did you come up here?
I pay double per month, so Mrs. Maya allowed me to come up.
If Mrs. Maya catches you, you'll be in trouble.
Ris!
Boris is upstairs.
You're so noisy, Dit!
The girls up here are slim, you know?
Okay. Okay.
Ma'am.
This time I will forgive your mistake as you're new residents here.
But if this happens again, whatever the reason, you're out of here.
-Tense, huh? Depressed? -Yes, sir.
You've been here only a day.
I've been living with her for 30 years.
In one room.
So sweet.
If I had a choice,
-I'd choose to become a cockroach. -Why, sir?
Because she is only afraid of cockroaches.
If you become a cockroach...
I'll be the insect repellent.
Ma'am, cockroaches! Roaches!
-Kill it! -It's licking you.
My gosh!
Wait. It seems this house is infested with cockroaches.
Dodit, we need to get rid of all the cockroaches in this house.
Ready! You stay calm. Let us take care of the cockroaches.
Yes.
We start now. Excuse me, sir, ma'am.
Thank you! Thank you so much.
Thank you, Boris, Dodit. Now I feel very calm.
We guarantee, ma'am, this house is now free of cockroaches.
All cockroaches have been ordered to move from this house.
If there are any roaches, those must be their friends visiting.
They were not informed that the roaches have moved?
Sorry. Excuse me.
I wanted to chat, but they ignored me.
Come on. Let's eat. Finish the food.
Don't let her eat all the food. That would be a problem.
Problem? What do you mean, sir?
-Here's the thing... -Just so you guys know...
I've tried every diet.
None of the diets he has suggested have ever worked.
I finally told him
that if he cannot make me slim, to please make everyone else fat.
That's why I'm fat. Because of her.
I had no choice!
So sweet.
Why "so sweet"?
-Come on, eat. -Yes, sir.
Even though I'm from Purbalingga, I know when to use "so sweet."
-Boris, are you from Medan? -Yes, sir.
This is the first time I got on a ship.
Actually, I was so scared to get on the ship.
That Titanic thing scared me.
You know, the Titanic that sank,
there was one Indonesian aboard.
So, when the ship was sinking, everyone was panicking, right?
But this Indonesian guy was calm. Relaxed, just watching.
-He even smiled and laughed. -Why, sir?
He took out a ticket from his pocket. He looked at it. He laughed.
He showed it to his friends.
"Luckily I bought a one-way ticket.
Had I bought a return ticket, that would have been a big loss."
That's not funny.
It's not funny but you laughed so loudly.
Who's laughing? I'm coughing.
What a bright morning.
That's what you call crystal clear.
Crystal clear.
So muddy.
Sleepwalking. I thought you were watching the girls swimming.
You ready?
Why did you ask? I've been waiting for you.
Just one day in Jakarta and you've become a smart-ass. Let's go!
I waited for you but you're leaving me.
-Sorry. -It's okay.
Ouch! Ouch!
Watch it.
-Sorry! -Just watch it.
-Sorry. -It's okay.
King Kong is on the bus!
-Honey! -Yes.
I bought you some underwear. One dozen.
-You bought 12 pieces of black underwear? -Yes.
People will think I only have one. I never change it.
Who the hell wants to see your underwear?
You're right.
NO JOB VACANCY
THERE ARE VACANCIES BUT IT'S A SECRET
This elevator is empty, feels like it's ours.
Why did you come together?
Yes. We both want to work as a team, sir.
Oh, man. This is going to take a while.
It's your fault, you sneezed.
How would I know?
Where are your documents?
You guys are hired.
Now you must see someone on the seventh floor.
-Okay. -Okay, sir.
Ris, what kind of work is this?
How should I know?
Let's just do what he said. See someone on the seventh floor.
Maybe then we can know those secrets.
Including our salaries.
Just press it.
It's another door.
This is strange.
-Press it again! -Again?
-What? -Another door?
-Press it again? -Yes, do that!
Geez! Another door.
Maybe our work is just opening elevator doors.
How come there's another one?
Judging from this position,
I think the guy we have to meet is some sort of a poodle.
So sweet.
-We're finally here. -Finally.
Why, Ris, it's empty, there's nothing here.
Are we on the wrong floor? But I pressed number seven.
Fine. Let's go back to the elevator.
Not again. There are so many doors, as if we have nothing else to do.
Well, come on!
It's different.
What kind of office is this? What is going on here?
Come on.
Boris, we took the elevator. But why are we so tired?
My feet are sore.
This office is very strange.
-Ris, I think I recognize this room. -You're right.
There.
Sir? I met you earlier, right?
This is a car for you.
All your operational needs are in it.
-Thanks, sir. -Thanks, sir.
A car. So sweet.
Beep-beep.
This is awesome.
They got a job.
Seriously, Sha? Boris and Dodit got a job?
Yes. They also got a car.
A car? That's so cool.
What about that last move? After turning?
-Like this. Then step back. -And like this again, right?
-And step forward. -This move is twice, right?
Sasha! Want to come with me?
Boris?
Sha, we need to practice!
Yes, I know. But I'm taking a day off.
-You and a fancy car. -You don't mind, right?
-What do you want? -This is my bike.
If you want something, ask politely.
No need to act tough. As if you're an actor.
Go ahead, take the day off. It's okay.
Ris, Boris.
This is our car.
Why are you back? Go ahead, take the day off.
Relax. Someday, I'll buy a car like that.
But I'll keep it in my garage. Wouldn't want to use it.
Enough. Let's go inside.
-Coming? -Inside?
-Come, watch us practice. -Let's go!
Sha, what kind of dance do you guys practice?
Ducks dance? Dumang dance?
Or Dribble dance?
No. You know jive?
What is "jive"?
Stop asking questions. Just join our practice.
Can Dodit come? Then we can pair up.
Karin, what are you doing?
Dodit, he's thirsty and wants a drink.
Okay, let's go warm up.
You go ahead. I'll catch up.
-Okay, then. There's the water. -Okay.
Crazy!
Damn.
Dodit!
-Where are you going? -Looking for a drink.
The water dispenser inside is empty.
Just do it later. Sasha and Boris are practicing.
-Let's join them. -I can't dance.
I'll teach you. Come on.
Bobby?
Bobby! Bobby!
-Bobby! -You shut up!
Last night I had a fight with Karin.
She told me I'm too bossy.
This morning I called her, and she did not answer my call.
And now I see it with my own eyes.
She's with some other guy. But what makes me angry...
is that this guy is far below my level.
What kind of magic did you use to get Karin?
-I didn't. Did you? -Damn you!
-Bobby! What the hell? -I could ask the same question!
So, because of this lame guy,
you have a different attitude towards me lately?
It's got nothing to do with him, Bob. He's nothing to me.
You are just jealous.
-Who's that guy? -Karin's boyfriend.
He's the jealous type.
Karin will be grumpy because of this.
-Are you okay? -I'm fine.
I'm cool. The dance is still on?
Oh, my, Dit. I'm really sorry.
Yes, Mr. Gun. How are you?
Good. Just like old times. I feel like I'm 55.
How are the kids, Mr. Gun? Fine?
Thank God, they're fine.
But my oldest one still does not get along.
Yes.
Who is he talking to on the phone? It seems very intimate.
How should I know? There's no picture.
-Yes, I'll call you when I have time. -Okay.
Send my regards to your family, sir. Okay.
Honey!
What's wrong, dear? Can you not scream just for one day?
So hysterical.
I've been suspicious lately.
It turns out that you're cheating. Right? You have another woman, right?
How could you say that?
Here, look at this! Look!
You sent a message. It says "beautiful."
It's definitely a girl, right? What's your excuse now?
-I don't need an excuse. -Why?
Don't just wear this as a necklace.
Use your glasses.
Maybe you're illiterate?
Read it correctly. What does it say?
"Battery."
And?
"Battery full."
"Battery full," not "beautiful."
Dodit.
Dit, I'm sorry about the incident this afternoon.
It's fine, really.
No, it's not fine. You're hurt.
You're less cute now.
Nah. Just a little less handsome.
Are you okay, Dit? No need to see a doctor?
I'm fine, relax.
If you're fine, why did you play the violin so sadly then?
It's not sad. It's romantic.
He asked me to.
Who?
Dit! Play the music again! So it will be romantic.
Geez. So they're using you?
Look who's enjoying time together.
Don't look at me like that. I'm nervous.
Come on, Dit. Not everything is about you.
-I was looking at your violin. -My violin is also nervous.
Where does he keep his phone?
Maybe it's in the closet.
I'm curious. Who did he call this afternoon?
I'm sure it's a woman.
What's the code for that woman?
Code, "naughty woman."
Delirious.
He must be dreaming about that woman.
-Are you having a nightmare? -But the pain feels real.
It feels like being slapped by the devil.
-Morning, sir. -Morning.
Morning, ma'am.
Morning. Karin told me you guys are private detectives.
-Yes, ma'am. -Perfect.
-Why, ma'am? -I have an assignment for you.
Look. I think that is Mr. Indro.
You're right, Ris. That is Mr. Indro.
-He is wearing the yellow shirt, right? -It's yellow in the binoculars.
-You see yellow, too? -Of course!
Who is it? Who's he waving at? Who?
In the binoculars, he's alone. How about you?
Obviously. Follow his movement.
-Ms. Ratna. -Mr. Indro, how are you?
-Thank God, I'm fine. You? -I'm fine, too.
I was going to the car.
You don't have to, my husband is talking on the phone.
She's too hot. You are crazy, Indro.
What is it? Let me see!
That's wonderful.
Agent Dot, you should take note of this.
Do not let the red dress get away.
Yes.
Hello, sir.
Okay.
That's right.
So, you have to maintain good relations with your new mom.
You must.
Just be calm, do not shout. You'll pass out soon.
Agent Dot, have you poured the drug into the handkerchief?
-This one? -Yes, have you poured it?
-No. I was in a rush. -Oh, man! Hurry up and pour it!
I'm getting dizzy.
Why did you bite it? Now it's all over your face.
Give her what's left in your hand!
Excuse me, ma'am.
Thank you, God. Everything went well.
What the hell is he doing?
Please help us get home safely. Amen.
Oh, man, he's praying. Watch your hand!
Now you've done it! Another one passed out.
Ris!
Ris, help me! I'm not strong enough!
-Against her? -I'm losing my mind just looking at her!
Since when have you been having an affair with my husband?
Where did you guys meet?
And what have you guys been doing?
Talk. What have you guys done behind my back?
I think Indro's car is coming.
Dodit! Boris!
You two watch her. I'm going to meet him.
Our business is not finished.
Honey? What's with the long face?
It looks like you've lost something valuable.
It's not mine.
It belongs to my friend.
What do you mean?
Where is my wife?
This is where I was with Ratna.
-Let me call her. -Okay.
This is my wife's handbag.
Apparently there are some people who want to mess around with me.
So the one who's been kidnapped is Mr. Gun's new wife, Ratna?
Yes.
Right now, Mr. Gun is gathering all of his men,
including his former men.
He ordered them...
to find the people who want to mess around with Mr. Gun.
And if we find them, you know what will happen.
Crushed. You know him.
If their noses don't go missing...
their ears will be moved to their foreheads.
Or both hands go limp.
Why didn't you say so?
Why? Say what?
-Now, sir? -Yes, both of you to the office now.
But, sir, our business here is not finished.
No excuses. This is urgent!
Dit, we have to go back to the office now.
-What about this? -Never mind. Let's go.
-Mrs. Maya? -Never mind.
Is there a problem?
Remember, find the kidnapers...
approach and destroy them.
Quick, quick.
Come on, quickly. Quick!
Get in! Quick! Quick!
Hurry!
Hurry! Get out of here!
Ma'am, please forgive us.
This is just a small problem. Don't take it personally.
We promise not to do this again.
Who will take care of her?
Just leave her here!
Let's go!
Who's there?
It must be those darn kids.
Jesus! It's the boss's wife!
Hold on, ma'am. I'll call your husband.
Hello? Boss! Update, boss! Your wife is here, boss!
I want to say something.
See? Confusing, right?
Okay. Come on. Talk.
Look. My birthday is coming soon...
and I want to take a vacation.
What if we go to the beach?
I see. Okay. No problem.
If we go to the beach, let's take the boys.
They're nice, honey. And we can tell them to do things.
Karin, you can invite Sasha.
-Are you sure, Mom? -Yes.
-When? -We leave tomorrow at dawn.
-Yes! Just say yes. -You're so happy, aren't you?
This... Right, left, right, left.
This car is too slow. It moves like a snail.
Overtake it, honey.
-Overtake it, honey! -All right.
-A chariot. -No wonder.
Talking about money, if you find it on the road,
a 100,000 and a 50,000 bill, and no one is watching...
-which one will you take? -I'll take the 100,000 bill.
Me, too. I'll take the 100,000 bill.
A drunk grandma also knows to take the 100,000 bill.
Me, I'll take both.
Who do you want to leave the 50,000 bill for?
Cool, right?
You like me, don't you?
So sweet.
Up, up, to the top of the mountain High, very high
Left, right, I see
Lots of pine trees
Left, right, I see
Lots of pine trees
Honey, why are you so tense?
Are you starting to regret this? Vacations cost a lot of money.
No, not like that. I really need to pee.
This is your fault.
We are going to the beach, why are we singing about mountains?
It makes me want to use the toilet badly!
Singing can do that?
This is the proof. And there's no gas station around here.
Hold on for a minute. The hotel is just down the street.
I cannot hold it any longer. Pull over a minute.
Just a minute. Here. I think it's safe in that bush.
-What is it, sir? -Guys, wait just a bit.
She really needs to pee.
-Where? -Across the street.
Behind that car so no one can see.
Fine. Please wait.
Guys, please face this way.
Do not turn around until I say so.
Honey, let me know when you're done!
Yes!
Daddy, why does Mom need a lot of time for this?
You know how big your Mom's tank is.
-Like an interstate bus. -What's that?
Interstate bus.
Not a normal bus?
That's small. An interstate bus is bigger.
Daddy!
-Okay. -Don't be like that.
Honey? What's taking her so long?
Honey!
Honey! Honey!
-The car is gone! -Mommy!
Why did you laugh?
Honey, help!
Dit, hurry. You walk so slowly, like a frog.
Frogs like to jump. I'm walking.
Speaking of walking,
do you know why people walk with their hands like this?
No. Why?
You are not too smart, you know that?
People walk like this because they wear pants.
If they did not wear pants, they would walk like this.
-I see. -Why didn't you laugh?
I still don't get the joke.
-You are dumb. -Not dumb, just not smart.
Look at that.
People like you, who litter purposely,
if this was overseas, you would get fined for this.
-Have you ever been overseas? -Of course not!
Stop talking, man. Let's start with ourselves.
No need, man. I am a former futsal player. Watch this.
Here's the kick.
Oh, my God.
It's him again!
Not me, sir. It's my friend.
Tell your friend, it hurts!
You just asked me to tell him.
I thought you wanted to punch me.
It's too windy.
Karin!
If you want this, come here!
You come here!
-Honey! -What?
Here, honey!
What on earth? I am not wearing my underwear and you take my towel?
Sorry. I didn't do it on purpose.
Cover it, please.
Anyway, why didn't you wear the black underwear I bought for you?
It's hard to choose.
They're all black.
I don't know which one is clean and which one is not.
Just say you need some fresh air.
Good evening, sir, ma'am.
-Table for Indro. -Please, wait a minute.
You guys look alike.
Don't compare us.
Let me take you to the VIP room.
Let's toast to this wonderful gathering tonight.
Cheers!
Why do we have to clink the glass when we say cheers?
I don't know, sir. Maybe it's just a trend.
You see, when we drink, we can see it with our eyes.
Feel it with our mouths.
Our noses can smell it.
The ears don't know anything.
That's why we clink it, so our ears can hear it.
It's not funny, but you laughed.
-Let's eat. Come on! -Yes. Let's eat.
-I want that one. -Me, too.
-Slide it. -Turn it.
-It's hard. -Maybe that way.
Stop, stop. You'll ruin everything.
-Waiter! -Yes, sir?
This table is not moving.
We're the ones who are turning?
-Can we turn the other way? -Don't!
-Not fast enough? -No!
You asked me to come here to talk about something.
Honestly, the tremble in my heart is like the waves in the sea.
But I can hardly express it.
In situations like this, I prefer actions to words.
So, now what?
Would you like coffee or tea?
-Tea. -Me, too.
Would you like some sugar?
-Yes, please. -Yes.
-You, too? -Me, too.
-You want some milk? -No! Please don't!
No way! No!
Oh, dear. I really miss you. It's been a while since we met.
Why don't you come here? I'm eating alone here.
-Excuse me, ma'am. -Hold on.
Yes, dear.
-Enjoy. -Okay.
Sweetheart, come here.
Oh, dear. I ordered a burger and some fries.
But this is only the burger. Where are the fries?
It's there, ma'am. Here.
-I'm sorry. -No problem.
-Excuse me. Here's the tea, sir. -Yes.
Excuse me, sir. Would you like to drink it with your right hand or your left hand?
Why?
If you'd like to use your right hand, I'll turn the handle to the right.
If you use your left hand, I'll turn the handle to the left.
-That's why. -I could do that on my own.
If I want right, I'll turn it to the right.
If I want left, I'll turn it to left.
Or I'll take right from left.
Okay. Do you want me to pour it for you, sir?
No. It might get more confusing. No need.
-Excuse me, sir. -Yes.
Is this an oil lamp or a teapot?
May God rest his soul.
-Who died, sir? -Budi Gunarto.
-One of your friends, sir? -Nope.
-You know him? -Nope.
I only read it.
Here. Budi Gunarto, right? See?
-It sucks. -Sorry for asking.
That's a papaya. Look at it, Dit.
It's a banana.
Banana? That's a papaya, look at that.
I'm sure it's not a papaya. It's a banana, Ris.
You really are dumb. That's a papaya, look at it.
You spilled it. Let's clean it.
Sit down.
What are you guys doing?
Sir.
Please take a look. Is that a banana or papaya?
That's a roasted corn.
If you fried it, it would make a good snack.
See, it's a roasted corn, not a papaya.
-You said banana! -Then it's a roasted banana!
Shut up!
Papaya, mango, banana and guava
They are brought from Pasar Minggu
Many sellers there
That's all, and thank you
Excuse me, sir.
I don't have cash, no change. I'm using only a credit card, you know.
I see.
Hold this a moment.
Here. Just swipe it!
You're nuts. A street musician has this? Hold this!
Where is it?
Ten thousand for you, give me the change.
Done, sir. Ten thousand for me, 90,000 for you.
Okay.
10... 20... 30...
Hold on. You didn't count them, you just put them in my hand.
Relax. Beach musicians know better.
One more. Thanks, sir.
Where is he? I thought he was there.
He asked for juice, but he's gone.
That's him. Hon...
Hi.
You know what I felt when I saw you?
What?
Like that cloud above.
You jerk.
But do you know how I felt when I saw you?
-How? -Like that cloud in the sky.
Indro!
Oh, my! Sorry, sir.
He's a jerk. He's happy here. So many sexy girls.
More attractive than me.
I'm sure Mr. Indro still loves you.
What I noticed is you don't show him that you love him.
That's true.
Well, if you want my advice,
you could send him some sweet messages with some kind words,
just like when he was your boyfriend.
But what should I write?
Relax. I say the words, you write them.
Wait. Let me put on my glasses first.
Darling...
If you fall asleep, send me your dreams.
Is this her? Since when is she so romantic?
If you're smiling, send me your smile.
What's going on with her?
If you cry, send me your tears.
Since when are you so poetic?
Okay, I'll go with it.
Could you tell me what I should send to you
because right now I'm sitting in the john.
Hello?
Yes, it's okay.
-Who is it, dear? -Wrong number.
Then why'd you answer it?
-It's a code, isn't it? -What code?
It's a code that she's already waiting.
-Who? -I don't know. It's your date.
Amazing. You're arguing just because of a wrong number?
I should've let you answer the phone.
How can I do that?
You're ready to answer it before me.
-Let's switch places, then. -Okay.
Guard that phone! Guard it!
Move! I want the blanket!
Don't turn off the light. I don't like it.
My goodness.
You're drunk. You turn it on and you turn it off.
It's definitely another code, right?
What code?
So the one outside can see that the one inside is ready.
Am I right?
Who's out there? Ready for what?
I don't know. It's your date.
You're the one who told me to turn it back on.
Never mind. Whatever.
Now what?
I just want to make sure you're asleep.
Geez.
It must be another code. Snoring like that on purpose.
So the one outside can hear that the one inside is ready.
The code is do not let the red dress escape.
Who's wearing a red dress?
Hello?
-Are you still in Anyer? -Yeah.
Our wedding invitations are ready.
I just got them. The words are very good.
There are a total of 500 invitations.
Five hundred invitations? So many?
But we discussed that.
All your relatives will come to Jakarta. You've arranged it, right?
Nope. I haven't.
What? The wedding is a week away.
Why are you like this? Don't tell me you haven't taken care of the catering.
No, I haven't.
-Deposit for the building? -No, I haven't!
Why are you acting like this again? You promised, dear.
This time you have to be serious. I bet you're still dating that girl.
Are you with her now? Admit it. Who's with you in Anyer?
I'm with Boris, Karin, Sasha.
We came as pairs.
I knew there were other women!
You said you went there alone, no women! You're lying!
You're cheating again, aren't you?
Our marriage is off! I'm breaking up with you!
Who were you talking to?
I don't know.
Whose phone is that?
It was ringing and nobody picked it up.
Geez. If the owner finds out about this, you'll get into big trouble.
Come on. Karin and Sasha are already waiting. Let's go.
That's why it's called modern comedy. Crazy.
Where are you, darling?
My message is unread
My text is unreplied
Are you with her?
My baby never comes home
You said Working, looking for money
Where are you, darling? Who are you with?
I'm curious, you don't tell me a thing
Please come home, darling
My baby never comes home
You said Working, looking for money
Where are you, darling? Who are you with?
I'm curious, you don't tell me a thing
Please come home, darling
Honey, please forgive me.
I've been flirting behind your back lately.
Just now you were flirting in front of me.
Yes. Including in front of you, too. Forgive me.
What?
Happy birthday, honey.
Please believe me, I will always love you.
Now, let's see the performance from Elvis Presley.
A gift from Mr. Indro as a birthday present to his wife,
Mrs. Maya.
-Elvis Presley, dear? -Yes.
My heart is trembling
-Is that Dodit, dear? -Yes.
This is nothing. I have a better surprise.
-What, dear? -Just wait and see.
Love at first sight
Come on, come on.
My heart is trembling harder
Love is so powerful
Attracts those who are in love
Let's go, leave them
I'm here, I'm waiting
Your smiles and laughs
Please come here
Come dance with me
Move your feet
Move your body
Jump around
All around
Let it out
Make others jealous
As if you are mine
I'm here.
I'll wait for you in the restaurant.
Thank you. Okay.
-Who is it, dear? -A friend.
To make your birthday merrier, I invited a friend.
-Who is it, dear? -Mr. Gun.
He came with Ms. Ratna.
After what happened the other day, they could use some time to relax.
What is it, dear?
I need to pee.
But I did not sing that song about going up to the mountain top.
I don't know why. Sorry.
What should we do?
Ms. Ratna cannot see us. She knows our faces.
Hopefully she does not remember my face. My face is so difficult to remember.
It's easy! Especially Mrs. Maya's face.
That's easy to remember.
Hey, this is a body. This is the face. Nonsense.
Come on, think. Come up with ideas.
I'm trying. I'm also thinking.
-What the hell, Boris? -Calm down, ma'am.
It's called a disguise.
I get that, but you don't have to put mayonnaise on my face.
You think my face is a fruit salad?
Would you like to add some chili sauce, ma'am?
By the way, where is Mr. Gun?
He went to the car, to get something.
Where is Mrs. Maya? I haven't met her.
This...
-My God! -Hello.
This is my wife, Maya.
-How are you? I'm Maya. -Ratna.
What are you using?
This is sun block, dear.
It's night, not day. Why are you using it?
Because I forgot to use it today.
My face gets crumpled, like a rotten strawberry.
So tonight I'm using extra sun block.
Sorry. Is your voice really hoarse or is it always like that?
This is the side effect of the sun block.
Really? Sun block can affect our voice?
Sure. I use sun block on my tongue also.
-You want to try it, miss? -No, thanks.
Geez, Boris, how could it happen like this?
We did not know it would end up like this.
I'm sorry, Karin, this is all my fault.
It's okay. The fact is this is Mom's fault.
Whatever. We plan to go home earlier.
The sooner we get out of this hotel, the less we risk meeting them.
Good morning, Karin.
-Morning. -Morning, sir.
You guys are here?
Well... Well, sir...
Our investigation led us here, sir.
Ms. Ratna's kidnappers are probably around here, sir.
Yeah?
Yes, sir. That's why we are interrogating the visitors here, sir.
I am a visitor, sir.
Who knows if they've seen our suspected kidnappers, sir.
-Is that so? -Yes, sir. That's right.
If you find the kidnapers, whoever they are,
do not hesitate to use this.
-Excuse me. -Yes, sir.
What did Mr. Gun whisper to you?
He gave me this to shoot the kidnapers.
-Don't! -Don't aim that at me!
-Give it to me. -What should we do?
It's dangerous to aim that at me.
Hide it!
-You don't have to hide also! -That's dangerous, Dodit!
Dear, this is outrageous.
Why is this happening, dear?
I did not know Ms. Ratna is Mr. Gun's new wife.
This is bad, dear. Really bad.
I know Mr. Gun's character.
He eliminates people who try to mess with him.
Seriously.
What should we do, dear?
This is bad.
I have an idea, dear.
-What about our luggage? -We can ask the hotel to deliver it.
That car belongs to...
This is going to be complicated.
Bob, what the hell? We broke up.
I don't have anything to do with you. Move, I'm in a hurry.
Karin, maybe you and I are finished,
but my business with him and him...
it's not finished yet.
-What do you mean? -Just shut your mouth.
We're in a hurry. We've got important things to do.
Shut up, lame boy! Your business is with me.
These are the sketches based on information from Ms. Ratna.
The woman that you kidnapped.
Quick.
Hurry.
Good, no one's here.
Morning, Mr. Indro.
-Morning, Ms. Ratna. -Why are you carrying your bags?
Well... These are dirty clothes. We're taking it to the laundry downstairs.
-Morning, Mrs. Maya. -Morning.
Why is she facing that way?
Yes, because of last night. She used night cream.
Maybe it wasn't good for her, so her face became red,
full of bumps, ugly.
Maybe she's embarrassed.
Geez, that's awful.
You have to be careful when buying face creams.
-That's right. -I want to see it.
Don't. It might be contagious.
You're very beautiful, I don't want to...
-It's really disgusting, isn't it? -Very.
Mrs. Maya, good morning.
Wow, your face is very fresh.
Surely this is the effect of the face cream last night, huh?
-You said her face was swollen. -It was.
Let me see.
You?
Where did we meet before?
Mr. Gun.
This is my fault.
We're detectives. You cannot arrest us just like that.
Sorry, it's upside down.
Maintain your dignity.
Why, he has one, too.
Where did you get that?
I joined that office five years before you guys.
And you will not get away from Mr. Gun.
Can you imagine what kind of punishment you'll receive?
Bob, please let them go.
You said you had nothing to do with me anymore, so...
Boris, you don't have to do this.
-Calm down. -He's smiling. He's not scared.
Leave now or I'll blow your head off.
Boris! Boris!
Let him go, Boris!
Actually, it was a stun gun.
The person will be unconscious for a while.
I get it. Once again, I apologize for my wife.
She was just... jealous of me.
As a woman, I know what it feels like.
If my husband was cheating, too...
I would probably have done worse things, ma'am.
Actually, I already knew everything.
That's why I asked to be invited.
I did not tell my wife.
But I had a plan to reveal all of this.
Right here.
I forgive your wife, Indro.
You understand and forgive me?
-But... -Yes, I forgive you.
Thank you, miss.
...I cannot forgive your wife's accomplices.
Update, sir.
Everything went according to plan, sir.
Where did you put those boys?
In the place you asked, sir.
Okay. Do your next job.
-813. -Yes, sir.
Sha, release them.
One, two, three.
Why did this thing end up with Karin?
I know everything, sir.
I just want to apologize on behalf of Dodit and Boris.
If you wish to punish them, I'm prepared to take responsibility.
But please don't punish Mom or them.
I'm actually looking for them. Where are Boris and Dodit?
We already forgave them for what happened.
So you will not punish Boris and Dodit?
-You won't punish my mom, too? -No.
Karin!
Are you all right?
Dodit.
Mr. Gun, I'm ready for any punishment.
If I am wrong, I am ready to take full responsibility.
Even if I run, I will never be at peace.
I would think about Karin. I don't want to leave her.
Dodit.
You have been forgiven. Boris, too.
We've been forgiven?
Mr. Gun! Thank you! Thank you very much!
Dodit!
Quick! Hurry! We have to get away!
What? What?
-Ris! -Come on! Hurry!
Ris, why did you pull me?
Whatever happens, my friend, I will save you.
Everything is fine. We've been forgiven.
Geez. I made another mistake.
From now on, let's change our profession.
-To what? -Comedians.
-You mean stand-up comedians? -Yes.
Deal.
-Hi, guys. -Hello!
You're happy, right?
Before shooting this film, it was raining.
I did not bring an umbrella, I did not bring anything.
The person next to me had an umbrella, so instead of getting wet
I said, "Sir, can we share that umbrella?"
"Sure." He opened the umbrella.
When I looked up, I was shocked.
-The umbrella had a big hole. -A hole?
Then I said, "Sir, why did you bring an umbrella with a hole in it?"
"This is science. We will know when the rain stops."
Yesterday I went to the park.
There was a blind man sitting on the sidewalk.
-Then there was this frantic dog. -Frantic?
It approached the blind man and peed on his shoes.
Peed on them?
-But he did not get angry. -Not angry?
In fact, he took out a biscuit, broke it and gave it to the dog.
Then I said, "Sir, you are very kind.
"It peed on your shoes, but you give the dog your biscuit."
The blind man answered,
"Yeah, so I can know where his face is and where his butt is.
"So I can kick his butt."
My uncle scolded me when I was small.
"Boris, count how many fingers you have."
I said, "One, two, three, four, five... Six, Uncle!"
"How many times do I have to tell you, when you count your fingers,
do not put your hands in the front pocket."
If you put it in your pocket, it would be six?
Yes.
-Let me try. -Try it.
Count now how many fingers you have.
-One, two, three, four, five. -Five, right?
Now put it in your pocket and count again.
One, two, three, four, five...
Six.
Six?
-Dit, you like to drink coffee, right? -Of course.
You're in the coffee shop,
you order coffee, the waiter brings the coffee.
Sometimes you like to add some sugar, right?
Sometimes I add milk.
After you add some sugar and milk,
do you stir it with your left hand or right hand?
-Right hand. -Wrong.
-Left hand? -Wrong.
Usually, people stir it with a spoon.
So if you drink coffee tomorrow, you'll find yourself smiling
and remember us stirring coffee with our hand.