Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
Hmm...
Something different about you today.
You did something with your hair?
Those new pajamas?
Feet look bigger.
You look taller.
What is it?
Huh.
It's your birthday.
The big 1-2.
Happy birthday, kiddo.
Wow, you look older, you look wiser.
Thank you, dad.
That's a fast 12 years.
Alright, why don't you go get ready for school,
and then you can help me with the decorations
for your party.
I can't wait for my party.
We're doing it, captain.
Oh!
Look at how I tied that one now.
Oh, oh, ew.
Yeah.
So, well, I talked to your teacher
and he talked to all parents
and there are no allergies, so you feel free
to pass these bad boys out at recess.
Are you sure?
I mean, I hardly know these kids.
Well, I know that you're the new kid,
but cupcakes are the fast track to friendship.
Plus, they all RSVPed to your party already,
so they're coming, you know, sounds like friendship to me.
I know.
Alright, it's time to boogie, birthday girl.
Alright? Before the bus comes.
Thanks for everything.
The place looks great, dad.
I can't wait for later.
You're welcome.
Yeah, well, you know what we have time for though?
Oh, no, the bear got out.
Ah, good morning, Mr. Jay.
Salutations, Barry, my boy.
Well, just as you'd like it two creams.
Ooh, perfect.
And uh, a few sugars we won't mention.
Oh, I know you better than that.
Alright, well, here's today's paper as well.
You don't happen to have tomorrow's, do you?
Huh?
Oh.
How dare you?
- It's perfect. - Oh.
You always go the extra mile to take such good care of us.
Commendable, my boy, commendable!
I always say try your best and you'll be your best.
Enjoy this fine, fine morning, Bartholomew.
Enjoy your walk, Mr. Jay.
Ms. Ashcroft, good morning!
Ah, Pepper, hi.
I got any packages?
Let me check.
Um, no, no, it's not looking like it.
That's funny, I'm expecting something.
Well, I will keep my eye out for you.
- Mhmm. - And also, Ms. Ashcroft, um,
we have to keep Pepper on a leash.
Look, I'm sorry. It's a building policy.
Yeah, next time.
Oops.
When you gotta go, you gotta go, right?
I'll clean it up.
Let me know about that package.
Will do.
Phew.
An accident?
Uh, yeah, well, it appears that Ms. Ashcroft's dog,
Pepper, um, had too much coffee.
See you later, pal.
Oh, by the way, you haven't seen
that little Miss Fix It around here, have you?
Huh?
The uh, the maintenance guy.
He's not exactly a maintenance guy.
That's Jess.
Terrific.
Have you seen her?
Nope.
But if you needed some help with something,
I'm glad to do it.
If your air conditioning is broken, I can fix it.
Thank you. No, I wanted...
I wanted to introduce myself to the young lady.
Yeah, yeah, I can't help you with that.
Okay.
You missed a spot.
Oh, thanks, Rick.
I'm your friend.
Yes, you are.
Yeah. Watch your step, yeah. Watch your step.
Hi, Bianca.
What happened here?
Well, Ms. Ashcroft's dog, Pepper,
apparently couldn't hold it.
Well, I'm glad to see
you're on top of these things, Barry,
'cause corporate's been hinting at an inspection.
So I need this place to look spotless at all times.
You understand?
Especially, the lobby,
'cause it's the first place they walk in and we always...
Always make a good first impression.
You know, you have it pretty good here, Barry.
Yep.
Flexible hours, a short commute.
And let's face it, you get to live in a building
that you could never afford to live in.
So many perks to this job.
Well, that's why I plan on working really hard
at keeping the job.
That's great.
Uh-uh. No, no.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Surprise.
Got you a coffee.
Oh, well, thank you very much.
Perfect timing, we just ran out.
Oh well, just a little thank you for showing me the ropes.
It's not exactly easy being the new girl.
Yeah, well, my daughter is the new girl in the school,
so I totally get it.
Well, she's really lucky to have a cool dad like you
to help her through it.
I don't know about cool,
but we're definitely making it through.
Uh, today's her birthday.
Aww.
Well, to the birthday new girl.
To the birthday new girl.
So, um...
Where do you like to go when you go out around here?
I'm still kind of exploring.
Uh, uh...
Um, well, to tell you the truth,
um, other than the little market around the corner,
I don't think I've been out since I've been here.
- What? - Yeah.
Well, uh, we definitely need to change that.
You think so?
I'm gonna go try out that new deli tomorrow night.
You should totally come with me.
Uh, look, I would love to, but I can't.
It's... it's Emily.
Oh.
No, my daughter, Emily.
It... it's a little thing we do every week.
It's a little father-daughter thing.
It's kind of... Taco Tuesdays.
Totally get it.
Barry, Mrs. Bettencourt needs help with the groceries
in the garage. ASAP.
Copy that, Bianca. I'll be right there.
Thank you for the coffee.
I'm coming.
They're for everyone. Feel free.
- Wow, love the frosting. - Thanks.
Me and my dad made them.
Hmm, in that case,
I can't wait to try the cake later.
- You're coming? - Yep.
My mom said I could leave my piano lessons early.
Oh, hey, birthday girl.
- Do you want a cupcake? - No, thanks.
This dress was really expensive
and I don't wanna get anything on it.
How about you two?
They're really good.
It's really cute that you brought cupcakes though.
I remember I did that for my birthday one time.
In kindergarten.
Never too old for cupcakes.
That's what I always say.
But thanks for the invite.
Oh, I saw you RSVPed, I'm glad you can make it.
We wouldn't miss a chance to welcome a new member
into the group.
Should be fun.
I got a lot of snacks and games, and I have a piٌata.
That sounds amazing.
Alright, let's get back inside, everyone!
It's mind mode in time!
Oohhoo.
You still got it.
Hey, birthday girl.
Well...
How did it go?
Great.
The cupcakes were a big hit.
Alex took three of them.
Awesome.
And I scored a goal in practice.
Of course, you scored a goal in practice.
You know why?
Because you're a monster.
Well, in that case, I think that's good cause for, uh,
an early birthday present.
I mean, I know you're supposed to wait until you cut the cake
usually, but what do you say we...
...bend the rules a little bit?
Yeah? You think so?
Hmm. Nah. I think it's better to actually...
Oh, okay, well, oh well.
It's the one in the window.
Yeah, well, you know,
you wouldn't stop talking about it every time
we went by the store, so I figured, mmm,
what the heck.
It'd be a good party dress for you.
Can I wear it tonight?
Of course.
Go put it on, your friends are gonna be here soon.
I can't believe this dress is actually mine.
Put it on.
Hmm.
Shouldn't they be here by now?
I don't... look, maybe they're just fashionably late.
No, no, they're not fashionably late.
They are definitely late.
They looked at me straight in the eyes
and said they were coming.
Well, uh...
Things happen, you know.
Maybe they had a hard time getting a ride or may...
maybe they got abducted by aliens.
All of them?
Uh, kids are funny when it comes
to adjusting to new people.
Alright?
You've only been here a couple of weeks.
It's my fault.
It's bad timing, I'm sorry.
Yeah, but I don't get why they lied.
That's what kids do when they don't know what else to do.
But you know what?
It's not too late for us to have some fun.
Alright? Let's enjoy this.
I'm not gonna let a bunch of kids get us down.
You like cake, I think.
Oh, I know you like cake, 'cause you're my kid.
And I like cake.
So you must like cake. Do you want some cake?
Yeah, I guess I like cake.
That's the spirit.
You like wishes too, right?
Who doesn't like wishes?
Well, then let's have some cake and make some wishes, baby.
Okay, dad.
Happy Birthday, dear Emily,
happy birthday to you.
Woah, nice lung capacity.
What are you, a trumpet player now?
Alright, it's time to do the honors.
Come on, cut the cake.
Okay, wish time, right?
It's wish time. Anything you want.
Alright, yeah.
First piece goes to the birthday girl.
That must be Alex.
Oh, good.
We're gonna need some help with that cake.
- Hey. - Alex, my man.
Welcome to the party, pal.
Thanks, Mr. B.
- Happy birthday again. - Thanks.
Sorry, I'm late.
Piano lessons took forever!
Hey, where is everyone?
It's okay, who needs 'em?
My real friend's here.
More cake for me.
And you get an H.
Look how lucky you are.
Yum.
- Ice cream? - Duh.
I like this kid.
I like this kid. Alright.
Emily!
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, what's wrong?
What's going on?
This.
Hey, listen. These kids are...
Uh, look...
Just let this be a valuable life lesson.
What, that it stinks to be the new kid?
No, it's way more important than that.
Oh, yeah, what?
It's about...
When...
When it... when it...
When it comes to friendship, it's way more about quality.
Not quantity.
You understand?
Yeah, but what am I supposed to do about them?
You're supposed to ignore 'em.
That's what bullies do.
Yeah, bullies, they can't wait to get a rise out of you.
I mean, nothing makes them happier than seeing
the result of their actions.
And seeing how you respond to it, right?
So the best thing that you can do
is you just don't respond.
You just ignore them.
It drives them crazy.
And as soon as they realize they can't get a rise
out of you, they leave you alone.
Yeah, I guess that makes sense.
Yeah, it makes sense.
Hey, and also check this out.
Look, from what I can tell, you and your friend,
your real friend, Alex, had a great time tonight.
Yeah, I guess that was pretty fun.
Yeah, it was fun.
Thanks for making me feel better.
Look, I'm really, really proud of you for toughing it out
through the rough patches.
It's all gonna get better soon, I promise.
Yeah, it was actually what I wished for.
Oh, don't tell me what you wished for.
It won't come true.
Oh.
Would you look at that, it's 12:01.
Another year gone by.
Thanks for everything, dad.
You're welcome.
Hey, I love you.
Happy birthday.
Boop.
Go to bed.
Happy birthday!
Emily, get out here, it's an emergency.
What, what? What's wrong?
Well, uh...
You know how usually on your birthday,
I give you an early present and then... and then...
and then I give you a late present.
This year, uh, I'm just... I'm just so sorry.
I... I just couldn't help it.
An electric guitar!
Now we can really jam.
Hey, you stuck with it on the acoustic and I told you,
if you worked hard, you'd get an electric soon, so yeah.
Yeah!
Who puts a package there?
"To a deserving gentleman."
Hmm.
Must be made in Italy.
Hmm.
Well, hello there.
Oh.
Bianca.
Morning, Mr. Jay.
Late for work, gotta go.
Handsome chapeau, monsieur, tre bien.
Bend those knees.
I'd race you,
but it would be embarrassing for you.
Nice of you to join us, Barry.
Yeah, I'm so sorry.
Like, I... I got this really random delivery
and I just...
You just thought you'd hold up the entire staff meeting,
even though you literally live six floors above our heads,
yet you somehow managed to be late.
Yeah, like... like I said, guys, I'm really sorry.
You're on very thin ice and take off
that ridiculous hat.
Besides the fact that it's horribly tacky,
we have a dress code and I'd like you to follow it.
Will do.
I'm not gonna sugarcoat this people,
the head honchos are coming in from corporate
for the annual inspection,
but we don't know when.
But rest assured, they'll come.
So I need you to stay alert, because it's quite simple.
If you let me down, I'll let you go.
Okay?
Great.
Barry.
Quick question.
Yes, Rick.
If you're here...
...who's running the chocolate factory?
Oh, that is a good one, Rick.
- That's good. - Yeah.
Quite a statement, kid.
Say hi to the lollipop gang for me.
The... that's...
It's a Lollipop Guild and that's The Wizard of...
- I kinda like it. - What?
- That hat. - Huh?
It's you, it's very cool.
Oh, well.
- Check it out. - Hmm?
Oh.
So you do have some moves.
Yeah, I do have some moves.
- Let me try this one. - Uh-huh.
I'll probably screw it up, but let's see.
Oh.
What?
That was very impressive.
You know, but, um, I know a couple things, too.
I got a little something also.
Pah! Huh, huh?
Yeah, you do have some move.
We should form a team.
- We should. - Yeah.
Alright, see you later.
Alright, I'll talk to your people,
you talk to my people.
Good morning, Ms. Ashcroft.
Is there something I can help you with?
And also, I would really like to thank you for keeping
little Pepper here on the leash.
We really appreciate that.
Well, before you thank me too much,
I just want you to know
that he got loose for a little while.
Oh, is he okay?
The dog's fine.
The alley, not so much.
He ripped up all the bags.
He made a real mess out there.
We'll take care of it.
You will?
Yeah, absolutely.
Pepper says he's very sorry.
Aren't you, Pepper?
Yes.
You have a good day.
How was school?
It was okay.
How's work been?
Uh, not too bad.
I got my last clean-up of the day and then I'm finito.
I appreciate you hanging out with me though.
Helps pass the time.
I like hanging out with you.
You're kind of a goof.
Hey.
Thanks, Pepper.
Do you need my help with anything?
Uh, no, you sit this one out.
I'm going in.
Thanks.
Started 5:22.
This is Captain Very Burdenedday,
at the USS Condo Elite.
I've been sent on a mission to the garbage,
to wrangle their dreaded intergalactic trash monster.
Stop, stop.
You stinky trash monster.
Oh, no, it's such a stinky trash monster.
Oh, oh, never fear.
This garbage is no match for my space sanitizer.
Sir, it seems to be working.
The... the... the... the... the stench is eliminated.
And it smells so fresh like clean cotton.
Alrighty.
Go do your homework.
I'll clock out and meet you up there.
Bravo, Barry!
Bravo, my friend!
You had me worried there.
Those trash monsters can be tricky.
Especially, the wicked waste creature,
I hear he is the stinkiest.
Jeez. I had no idea you were even there.
Well, I'm so glad I was.
I never knew that you were this witty and imaginative.
Yeah, well, you know, when you have a job
as monotonous as mine, you know, some fun
it makes the day go by faster.
Well, it was very, very funny.
Well, I'm glad I could give you a chuckle.
Have you ever thought you may have missed
your calling out here performing for the swill cans?
You have an innate ability to share joy.
And that's in short supply these days.
Well, I guess I have kind of always been an entertainer.
And always loved theatre, used to play the guitar
and write music.
You have the soul of an artist.
And... and so, then what?
Life.
You know, I started a family, had to get a real job.
Oh, poo!
Poo!
Never call never by its name and it'll never show up.
It's never too late to uh, make a big change.
You know, redefine yourself, switch gears!
Barry, get up here. Pronto.
I have some potential tenants here.
Duty calls.
Barry, we need to find a way to unleash your talent you know,
uh, to get you out there where people can see you.
Come by my office.
Uh, pop in after work
and we can discuss a possible career change.
Oh, look I... I appreciate the offer, but I...
Barry, I'm watching the street cameras
and you're not moving!
I'm coming.
You know, on second thought, I'll see you tomorrow.
Excellent.
We have a great community here.
Uh, we have great art pieces.
We have three condos up there.
Uh, our lounge, our bar area is over here.
Uh, as you can tell, we have restaurants and coffee shops
and all kinds of wonderful things
like that over here.
And, oh, you know, what you're gonna like?
- Our spa. - Yes.
Come check out the spa.
Bartholomew, my boy, right on time.
Punctuality shows an appetite for success.
The hat.
Barry, I happen to be an excellent judge of character
and I see that you have a knack with people.
No, I mean, the way that you care for your daughter,
and the excellent job you do around here,
the way you handle that Gorgon of a boss,
you always have a smile on your face
for everybody who comes through the door.
Most people would get cranky and hard-edged,
but not you, my boy, not you.
But just, you know,
trying to turn a negative into a positive, you know.
I do.
I really do, Barry.
And that's why I think the job I have in mind for you
is tailor made, not to mention your name.
My name?
Bartholomew Barry Burtonday?
It's so close to birthday, you never noticed that?
Sorry, I'm so confused.
Wha... what's the job?
Barry, welcome to my world.
I give you...
...the International Birthday Network
or as we like to call it "I.B.N."
Everybody, say hello to Barry.
Hi.
What... what do the people at IBN do?
Hank, put down the donuts.
Warm up that VCR and cue up the intro tape.
Intro tape?
My boy.
This way.
Follow me.
I'm so confused.
Finn, you shouldn't have expected the chickens to come.
They don't trust you.
They think you wanna eat them.
Oh, hi.
We didn't see you come in.
Come on in, come on in, you're always welcome.
That's you?
What?
For those of you who haven't met...
Wow.
I'm Mr. Jay.
Well, that's what my friends call me
so you should, too, always.
I'm the emperor of birthday land.
Hi, your excellency.
No, no, Finn.
No titles, no titles.
There's a time and place for everything.
This is my friend, Finn, a little red Irish fox.
Well, top of the mornin' to ya.
Now I have a story about Finn.
Once upon a time, it was Finn's birthday,
so his best friend Loopy, the Wolf invited
all the other wolves, and the foxes, and the coyotes,
and the coywolves over for a big, big party.
But none of them showed.
Aww, poor little guy.
It's heartbreaking.
Loopy called us
the International Birthday Network,
and we called all the nicest animals
from all over the world.
From the London Zoo, Charles the Cheetah.
No one should be ignored on their birthday.
From the Tallowmere Captain MaCaw.
From the Amazon, Tallullah, the crocogator,
and from the continent of Africa, Honey.
Honey?
Yes, that's his name.
Honey, the honey badger.
I thought I would come and visit you
on your birthday.
I hope it's okay?
Oh, sure it is.
We'll all play some games we will.
Do you have a birthday crisis or emergency?
Call IBN.
We are a major charitable organization
and we will create a unique and exciting birthday party
for you.
For absolutely free.
On us!
Everyone, let's do the birthday poem.
It's your birthday, our favorite day,
we bet you know what we will say.
Happy Birthday!
Oh!
I haven't had a piece of cake yet.
Oh, Tallullah, there's yours.
Honey, have a nice big slice.
There you go, Charles.
Captain, I haven't forgot you, Loopy,
and the birthday boy.
Well, this goes on for several more hours.
But you get the gist, huh?
Isn't that fantastic?
Wonderful.
Uh, and I'll tell you the inspiration for it.
The uh, origin story.
I am little Finn, the fox, yeah.
When I was a little shaver,
I got the royal chef two years in a row.
My birthday came, I got all excited.
I was waiting, you know, for my party,
for clowns and ponies.
You know what I got?
Nothing.
Heartache.
Now, not one friend came to wish me.
Well, on my day of days, the candles were reflected
in my fat, salty tears, running down my chubby face.
And that is when I decided that no other little kid
would ever have to be sad and lonely,
depressed and rejected, on his, you know, special day.
We only get one, Barry.
One a year to celebrate and be celebrated.
That is why I invented
the International Birthday Network and that is why
I want you to take my spot.
Wait, wait, wait.
You want me to take your spot?
You know what, Barry, I'll tell you something.
I'm not as young as I once was.
I can't load the wagon like I used to.
And let me tell you something, the truth is those stairs.
Those relentless, punishing stairs.
Uh, so it seems like a really unique and you know,
wonderful opportunity.
I mean, I... I really love to help kids and all of that,
but the problem is is that I work too much.
You know, whenever I'm off, I have to be with Emily.
Well, take her with you, they're birthday parties.
They're better with kids.
Okay, so, um...
- Hypothetically... - Yeah.
What does something like this pay?
Well, it's what I do and I do okay.
Yes, you do.
I think you need a change.
So you keep your day job for a while.
Simultaneously, apprentice for me
and if everything goes well, we'll talk numbers.
Huh?
What do you say?
You know what?
I'm in.
- Hey, can I ask you a question? - Yeah, shoot.
What's with... what's with the gloves?
- Oh, hot glue gun. - Oh.
Yeah, heat blisters from making puppets.
Don't wanna, you know, gross out the kiddies.
Excellent.
Nice job.
So you're like a event planner?
No.
Well, yeah, I guess.
No, not really.
Look, you remember that wish that you made?
I think it came true.
Really?
Yeah, things are about to change and...
...we're about to bring a lot of cheer
to a lot of lonely birthday kids.
We? What's this we stuff?
Oh, I forgot to tell you, you're coming with me.
I am?
Yeah, the more the merrier,
it's company policy apparently.
Okay.
That will be a good father-daughter bonding thing
and we get to give back.
I think it's a really, really nice thing to do.
Oh, then it's official.
We're in the birthday business, kid.
Let me see those power chords.
Ready? Go.
Nice.
Barry, Emily, I want you to meet our team.
This is my dear friend, Michelle.
She was the assistant superintendent
of public schools around here for years and years.
And she has contacts with every social worker
and school psychiatrist.
She's overqualified to throw a perfect birthday party.
That is Rita, my high school drama best friend.
She was something in Much Ado About Nothing.
She's our office manager and she keeps things going
like clockwork around here.
Ooh.
Ink jam, happens all the time.
And of course, this is Hank,
my sister's oldest and is true with most things.
The less said the better.
I wish I could help you,
but I'm not a very mechanical guy.
If you wanted a defense attorney,
then I can give you a couple of hands.
You know, I think I'm good,
but I will definitely think about it.
No biggie.
I was on my way back from the gym,
thought I stop by and say hi.
Right on. Way to get that workout in.
No biggie, it's a lifestyle.
You know, I do tris, bis
on Mondays and Wednesdays and legs and chest
on Thursdays and Saturdays.
- Nice glutes there, Bell, yeah. - Thanks, pal.
Hey, Barry.
Hi, we... we got a little heater problem going on here?
Uh, yeah.
I think it's the battery
and if I don't fix it before the inspector comes,
Bianca is going to flip.
Uh, you know what, I think I had the exact same thing
happen to me a couple of months ago.
I think I know exactly what to do, alright?
You fixed it.
That was magical.
Well, I'm gonna take a little cool down jog.
See if I can beat this lactic acid build-up.
You fight that acid, pal.
Hey, you hungry?
Huh?
Do you wanna go get some pizza?
I punch out at 5:00 and I am starving.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on here a sec.
Who told you that pizza is my weakness?
Oh, yeah, let's go.
Alright, thank you.
Ready.
- Oh, what a gent. - Yes.
Yeah, but it's not about the money.
I think it's a really good cause.
I could not agree with you more.
I mean, I'm serious.
Like, that's amazing.
That's what's so cool about you.
I mean, everybody else is so hung up on themselves and...
you really care about people.
I try.
What?
What, um... that's funny?
No, no, I'm sorry, no, um...
Oh.
You had a little something.
Yeah, I had a little something.
Oh, man.
These two are getting awfully close, for now.
Alright, class, next week is going to be
our school-wide spelling bee and the winners of that
will advance to the finals.
And then the champions win a trip to go to Disney World.
I know, yeah, yeah, I thought that would get your attention.
I love spelling bees.
So last year, Tristen was our big winner.
But this year's competition is very stiff.
Emily at her last school, she was the champion.
And then she placed top 10 in the state finals.
Wow, Emily, you were at an event people actually showed up to.
What was that, Tristen?
Nothing, Mr. Alpert.
Okay.
You know what, it's time for some real fun.
Break out your math books.
Oh.
How was school?
Okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
You sure?
Yep.
If, uh, cookies, and sprinkles, and frosting, uh,
don't put a smile on your face, something's wrong.
What's going on?
It's just Tristen's been bugging me lately.
Like any chance she gets.
And then her friends just really need to chime in
just so they can feel cool.
Yeah, you know what, that's what bullies do.
They recruit the weak minds around them.
But I need you to prove that you're above that.
I know.
I just...
I didn't react how you said and I waited till I got home
to start crying.
Well...
I'm proud of you for not letting them
get a rise out of you.
But I'll say this I don't like people making you cry.
So what I'm gonna do is is I'm gonna go down
and talk to that principal of yours.
No, don't.
That will just make things worse.
I just... I miss my old school.
And I miss mom, and...
I just want my life back.
I know you do.
But I need you to understand that I need your help.
There are little kids out there that need your help, too.
You're so much like your mom.
You know how much she liked to help people.
So, what do you say?
Wanna get with your old dad and get ready for the most epic
father-daughter mission in the galaxy?
Alright, team, what do we got?
Kid's name is Chase.
We just received a call from his mother, Stacy.
And let me tell you, she's a wreck.
Chase has asthma and can't play sports like the other kids,
so they make fun of him in gym class.
He gets terrific grades, does really well
in science class, and absolutely loves dinosaurs.
Mum invited Chase's entire class and not one kid showed.
Well, that means that we're going to have
to make an extra special birthday for him.
Alright, people, let's gear up and make a birthday!
- Hank. - Yeah?
We talked about this, that's my line.
Right, sorry.
Alright, people, let's gear up and make a birthday!
Woah!
Barry, my boy.
I present to you your new wheels.
Feast your eyes on the birthday mobile.
Try to keep it under a 100, will you?
Woah, I've never seen anything like this before.
Who needs a Peloton when you can ride in style
and get a workout.
The kids love it.
But wh... why not just take a car?
Tradition, Barry.
Tradition, like the hat.
Well, is this thing even legal to drive on the road?
We use the back roads, Barry, the back roads.
Roar!
Are you Chase?
Oh well, I am T-Rex
and this is my trusted side kick, Emsaurus.
Hello, wish you a happy birthday!
Happy Birthday, rarr.
Happy Birthday, roar!
Look how cool that looks!
Oh, bravo, my friend, so well done.
Exquisite.
That was wonderful.
And Chase's mom has already contacted us
singing your praises.
The kid had a blast.
He said it was his best birthday ever!
Ooh, man.
This uh, birthday business is really exhausting.
Well, you already worked a job, today.
You're an animal, Barry.
Oh, your indefatigable.
Huh?
It means you don't tuck around easy.
It's a good thing.
Go home and get some rest, both of you.
And come back tomorrow.
Alright.
Good night, everybody.
Let's go, kid.
Boys, what do you think?
Don't you think Barry's something?
Oh, yeah, he's a howl.
Oh, very good.
A good day, eh?
I'm very happy.
Wake up, it's almost time to go.
Five more minutes.
You better get up or you're gonna be late.
Role reversal?
Weird.
I got a bus to catch!
Okay, honey, have a good day.
I love you.
Barry.
Barry, open up.
Barry, open up, you're late!
Barry, I can hear you. Barry!
Bianca.
Barry, I can hear you.
Oh, oh wow, it's really late.
Oh.
Barry!
Barry! Barry!
Barry, open this door!
Barry, get out here.
If you're not out here in three seconds, you're fired!
Barry!
Oh, hi, Bianca.
Oh, jeez, you don't look so good.
Yeah, I don't know what happened.
But you know, whatever got into me, something did
but it's like at 3:00 a.m. last night, it's a headache,
- fever, explosive diarrhea. - Oh.
- Massive amounts. - Oh, my.
You don't even want to know the details.
It could be catchy.
You might wanna keep your distance, save yourself.
Oh, you know what, Barry, that's a tough break.
But you could have called the office,
because what if today was the corporate inspection
and you weren't there to greet them, Barry?
That's my mess up.
Yeah, see, you're fresh out of mess-ups, Barry,
and as a matter of fact, you're out of sick days, too.
So if this happens again, you're gonna be looking
for a new job and I'd imagine a new place to live,
so are we clear here?
Crystal.
Okay.
Get well...
soon.
Okay?
God... God bless you, you're an angel.
Sounds really cool.
You should have seen the dinosaur costume.
Wait, so you're like a camp counselor for lame kids?
They're not lame, a lot of them are just shy
and have a hard time making friends.
I mean, it makes sense.
You would know how that feels.
Okay, class.
Got me there.
Take out your notebooks.
We are going to prep for the spelling bee.
Better pay attention, I'm coming for you.
We have a little girl named Anne and she loves to play music.
She just learned how to play the piano.
But she doesn't know any other kids
that she can play music with.
Wait, what.
A rock and roll party?
Oh, I think we got this.
Let's go.
Yeah!
It's a Birthday Palooza.
Let's gear up and make a birthday!
- You ready to rock? - Yeah.
Yeah!
Well, hello there, you must be Anne.
A little birdie told us a secret.
Said you like to play music.
I play guitar.
- How about you? - Piano.
Cool.
But I really want a keyboard.
Oh, gosh, I don't know what to do about that.
What?
I think your mom got you something.
You might wanna open that.
Dig in, come on, yeah!
- What! - This is awesome!
Hey, you know, we should test it out.
I just so happen to have my guitar.
And I brought my drum kit and if it's okay with mom,
we do a little jam session.
Can we, mom?
Of course you can, honey.
Rock and roll, yeah!
Yeah!
Happy Birthday, Anne!
Happy Birthday!
Oh no, thank you.
Thank you very, very much.
Alright, goodbye.
Bravo!
Bravo, you two!
Anne's mother just called, another an five-star review.
And most importantly, the kid had a blast.
Oh, the requests, they're pouring in.
So, go home, get a little rest,
and then tomorrow we do it all again!
Ow!
Feeling better, Barry?
Well, I have this corn on my foot.
- Terrific. - Listen, my toes are hurting...
So, if any of you have any work that you can't get to,
feel free to dump it on Barry, 'cause I am certain
he is eager to make up for lost time,
- isn't that right, Barry? - Well then... absolutely.
Hey, you guys have anything, give it to me.
I'm glad to do it.
That's the spirit.
It's my pleasure.
Now we know corporate's coming any day.
In fact, it could be any minute.
We just don't know
which is why we must always be prepared.
Yeah, go, get to work, go!
Hey, Jess, hey Bar.
Someone had a serious accident combined with a really bad
aim issue over the men's room by the gym.
Oh, joy.
Yeah, it's a pretty ugly over there,
I'd to take a mop and a bucket.
Yeah, oohwee, this guy,
always going the extra mile even if it means toilet duty.
Ooh, I gotta go, got a big malpractice case today.
They are so boring and so lucrative.
GG and TTYL.
Too hip, gotta go!
Oh.
Oh no, oh.
No.
Hey, Barry, Ms. Ashcroft's dog got out again.
There's a river of pee in the lobby.
You gotta get down here fast.
Barry, I could use your help in here.
I'm in a real crunch.
Barry, meet me at electrical.
We need to change the light bulbs, stat.
Copy, I'll be right there.
Hey, Barry. The restaurant across the street
just filled up our dumpster.
You might wanna work it out.
Barry.
Yeah, I'll be there in a jif.
Oh!
Well, Bartholomew, my boy, aww.
You don't have your usual characteristic spark.
Long day?
Oh, Mr. Jay, I'm so glad it's you.
I thought it was Bianca.
She's been on me extra hard today.
Oh, don't let Bianca get to you.
You should have empathy for the poor, sad, tragic,
wretched thing.
She takes herself and her job far too seriously.
Yeah, well, we have this inspection thing happening
and apparently,
if we don't score high, it's all on her, so she's been,
you know...
Well, that's what it is.
She's under stress.
Wonder when her birthday is.
If anyone needs some cake and puppets, it's her.
Yeah, well, I punch out in 15 minutes, so uh...
We'll uh... we'll do the birthday talk after that.
Oh, Barry, Barry, I know you're tired.
I get it.
But as I always say, birthdays come,
whether we're ready for them or not.
You're making magic,
you're changing lives, the children are happy.
We're booked for the next two weeks.
Success is a result of a daily commitment
to excellence.
And daily means today.
Daily commitment.
People, this is very serious.
We are booked solid.
I'm overjoyed.
And we have to use every trick we know
to give these kids the best day of their lives.
Barry, Emily, team, in this neighborhood alone,
we have had six requests for Mr. Jay's big time puppets.
Hank.
No, Magic Marker.
We're starting right here.
Alright?
Ah, that's how you make the pizza, huh?
That's how you make the pizza,
you make the pizza like this. Okay?
When you make the pizza, you gotta go big with the pizza,
huh?
Nobody eats a little pizza, you gotta make a big pizza.
Happy birthday to you!
Hey, bravissimo, bravissimo!
Fettucine, spaghetti, lasagna.
Ah, that is the only Italian I know.
Go, ah, go.
Help, help.
Happy Birthday...
...to you.
Three birthday parties in one day.
That's the happy birthday hat-trick.
So my air conditioner, it's acting up.
I think it's defective or cursed.
No, it's just you need to turn it on
when you want it cold and off when you want it off.
So, on means cool?
I see.
Huh, I didn't get that.
Alright, well, good night.
Hey, Jess, how about you and I...
How about I order some food and you and I catch a movie?
I don't think so, Rick.
You'd rather go out, 'cause you've been
so cooped up, right?
Well, how about this,
I can get reservations in your own town,
'cause I got conexiَns.
I'm just tired.
You weren't too tired to have pizza with Barry
the other night.
What?
Barry, the stuff he said about you.
He thinks you're great.
He's right, good night.
Think you can handle the birthday missions
without me this weekend?
Well, you know, it won't be easy,
but I'm sure you'll have a really great time
at Alex's sleepover, so that makes me happy.
I can't wait, I'm gonna show him some stuff on the guitar
and he's gonna teach me some piano.
Yeah, well, rock and roll.
And we're gonna practice for the spelling bee,
because I have to demolish Tristen.
You know what, I'm so proud of you,
putting all that work in, it's gonna pay off big time,
I'm telling you.
Thanks, dad.
Hey, Alex's mom's outside.
Okay, bye.
Hey, dad.
Yeah, did you forget something?
No, I just wanted to say that it's been the best
birthday week in a long time.
Okay, bye!
I'm not crying, you're crying.
Alright, people, let's blow out some candles.
Yeah!
This is my destiny, not yours.
This is mine, I got it.
I can't do it, go ahead.
Escalibur!
"International Birthday Network."
Hmm.
I wonder, if Bianca knows you're playing party planner,
when you should be getting ready for the big inspection.
Hmm.
Won't be able to afford pizza dates now, will you,
when you're out of your job?
No, you won't.
Aardvark.
A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K.
Aardvark.
How about...
...hippopotamus?
H-I-P-P-O-P-O-T-A-M-U-S.
Hippopotamus.
It's excellent.
You're right, you're gonna crush this.
Now, eat protein.
Brain food.
Code red, people.
We have a code red here.
Corporate inspection is today,
I need all units in the lobby in five minutes.
Repeat, all units, lobby, five minutes.
You've got this.
This is what we dreamed for.
Today is the day,
the moment we've all been waiting for.
At 1:00 p.m., those doors will open and in will walk
the most influential people from corporate,
sent here to inspect our every move.
Now I know this goes without saying,
but any failure to complete the given task today,
will result in immediate termination.
I don't have time for it, not today, remember.
'Cause today, we prefer keeps.
Well, that's a pretty good speech.
Mm.
Hello, everyone.
You know what time it is.
It's time for those marvelous minds to get together.
Oh, yeah.
It's spelling bee time!
Hey, Emily, you're going down.
D-O-W-N.
Down.
It's time to spell, kids.
Hank, this is our best birthday month since 1993.
Barry sure takes the cake.
Puts candles on it, too.
Birthday joke.
Sorry to interrupt, boss, but, well, we thought
you'd be best suited to take this one.
International Birthday Network, Mr. Jay speaking,
president, CEO, founder, and emperor of birthday land.
Oh, thank goodness.
Hi, yeah.
It's my son, Jason.
You see today's his birthday and his so-called friends,
they said they'll throw him a party
and they flat out left him in the lurch.
Mhmm.
I'm sorry, I'm talking too fast.
Then I'll get right to it.
Jason's threatening to run away from home
and I just don't know what to do.
That's terrible.
It's terrible.
I'm... I'm sorry to hear that, but you made the right call.
We deal with this sort of thing all the time.
We'll make sure that Jason has an extra special birthday.
Well, isn't it my lucky day.
Yes, of course.
My address is 849, Juniper Street,
City Laments, 10019.
Right, thank you.
Alright, there we go.
Hmm, not bad.
Barry!
Barry, we have an emergency.
Code 47B.
The kid's name is Jason, he likes pirates.
Wh... what's a Code 47B?
Code 47B, poh... potential runaway.
Oh, well, that's bad.
Yeah, very.
Um, well, look, we'll take care of it.
Um, I'll be ready to rock as soon as I punch out, okay?
No, we can't wait that long.
What do you... what do you mean?
Today's the inspection day.
Corporate has their people coming down here to greet us.
Bianca will fire me on the spot.
So lobby duty takes precedent.
It's uh... it's nice to finally know
your true priorities.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Come... come... come back.
Uh, um.
Uh, God, I can't believe I'm doing this.
I think I have an idea.
Truncate, T-R-U-N-C-A-T-E.
Truncate.
That is correct.
Good job, Emily.
You move on to the finals against Tristen.
Well, isn't this exciting.
Two returning champions going head-to-head
for the biggest spelling prize in the school.
I might as well update my resume,
this is never gonna work.
Oh, no, it's perfect.
It will fool your own mother.
Here, put this on.
What is that?
It's for the kid's party, he loves pirates.
Wait, wait, wait, here's the secret weapon.
Look, I'm Captain Mickey MaCaw.
Who wants to bury some treasure?
Arr.
That's a start.
Come on, come on.
Hey, Mr. Jay, yeah, hi, I got to the location
where the party's supposed to be
and it's nothing but an empty field.
I mean, there's not even a house here.
It's... there's nothing.
It's uh... I... I think that we've been birthday bamboozled.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, alright, I'm coming back to base.
Hey, Bianca.
Rick here, uh unit 2A.
Yeah, listen.
That darn air conditioner, it's acting up again.
Yeah, second time this week, yeah.
Could you send Barry?
Yeah, he's got a real knack for fixing that thing.
Right.
Oh, I love that guy.
Oh, he's terrific.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah, I love that guy.
Barry, this is Bianca, over.
Bianca for Barry, over.
We have a malfunctioning AC in unit 2A
and I need you up there fast, quick, and in a hurry.
Where's this guy?
Hey Barry, do you know where I put my...
No.
No, no, no, no.
Hi, um, you guys must be the inspectors.
Well, let me introduce you to our manager, Bianca.
She's really excited to meet you guys.
Okay, Tristen, please spell for us questionnaire.
Okay, that's easy.
Uh, that's questionnaire.
Q-U-E-S-T-I-O-N-A-I-R-E Questionnaire.
I'm sorry, that is incorrect.
Emily, can you please correctly spell questionnaire?
And if you do, you will be the new champion.
Q-U-E-S-T-I-O-N-N-A-I-R-E,
questionnaire.
Your winner and new spelling bee champion,
Emily Burtonday!
I did it.
Mr. Alpert, if it's alright with you,
I'd like to give the trophy to Emily.
Well, that is the most honorable demonstration of sportswomenship
I've ever seen, go ahead.
Thanks, Mr. Alpert.
Here. You outspelled me and you deserve it.
And I'm sorry for the way I treated you
the last few weeks.
I used to be the new kid and I got picked on a lot, too.
I know exactly how it feels.
So it was really dumb of me to do it to you.
You were the toughest competition I ever had,
you know.
Really?
I bet we'd make a pretty good pair
in the state-wide team challenge.
Yeah, I bet we would, if you let me be a partner.
I'd like that, if you'd show up.
Come on. Come on.
29-minute round trip, not so bad.
Oh, here she is.
Here I am.
Where's Barry?
Uh, Barry... Barry went to, uh, go...
Uh, he's right there.
Barry.
Hi, Bianca.
Look, I'm sorry that I'm late, it... it was an emergency.
I... I had something I had to take care of.
Where was your emergency, on the Seven Seas?
I am so sorry, this is so embarrassing.
Um, Barry, you leave me no choice.
Are you gonna fire me?
You know how important today was to the building, Barry.
Just in time for the fireworks.
I just want you to know that we do not condone
this behavior and our dress code is strictly enforced
at all times.
Barry, I'm gonna have to let you go.
Shocker.
You're fired!
Not so fast, Ms. Bianca.
I believe the building's owner and general manager
may take issue with that.
Huh?
Surprise!
The secret's out.
Bianca, you poor thing, when you were talking
to corporate, you were talking to me.
No, I've been writing letters to a Mr. Jeffrey.
My card.
John Jameson Jeffery, all my initials are Js.
My friends call me Mr. Jay.
You shouldn't, not ever.
And here you have already met my beloved team
and here is my new top guy.
Wait, Mr. Jay, you own the building?
Every floor.
You didn't think I made my living with balloons
and puppets, do you?
Had to pay the bills, son.
You proved today that your heart
- is in the right place. - What?
You took the birthday oath and you dedicated yourself
to make sure that no little shaver
will ever go lonely on his day of days.
And today when his job was in jeopardy,
he showed us that he knows what matters most.
It was my honor, sir.
And if it weren't for a snake in the grass,
Barry would have never left his post and lost his job.
What do you mean, what snake in the grass?
That sneaky, slippery, slithering...
snake.
A reptile, in a cheap, knock-off suit.
You think you're smart, don't you?
You know who you are?
You are a bad boy and a party pooper.
The kind who walks around here with an expression
like he got a sour stomach and a tooth ache.
Excuse me?
Oh, how's that Jason doing, hmm?
I'm sorry, who?
Your alleged son.
Let me tell you something.
When you try to pull a con by making a phony call
to a major charitable institution, Rick,
if that's your real name,
you should make sure that the number is blocked.
That's preposterous, you have no proof of anything.
See, that's where you're wrong.
Once we found out Barry was sent on a wild goose chase,
we pulled up our phone records,
got some help from our pals downtown,
and traced the number right back to you.
Yeah, as an attorney, you would probably know
that attempting to defraud a charitable organization
is a crime.
There must be... there must be some mistake.
Well, the biggest mistake is me letting people like you
live in my building.
You can't be serious.
I'm very serious, very serious.
And I would suggest that you consider
this conversation your eviction notice.
I want you out by tonight.
Man, man.
Can I keep my parking spot?
Uh-uh.
What about my gym membership?
No.
This is not fair.
- It's not fair. - Well.
It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair.
It's just not fair!
It's not fair!
Barry, I am so proud of you.
Your apprenticeship has been nothing short of a wow.
You are ready to take over.
My doctor has recommended that I might think
about slowing down, retiring, buy a pool and...
So, I'm leaving you this entire building,
the International Birthday Network
and most importantly, the puppets.
You are now officially Mr. Birthday.
I dub you the second emperor of birthday land.
Well, I'm a little overwhelmed.
Speech, speech, speech, speech.
Speech!
Uh, uh, well, uh... as a second emperor
of the... the... the birthday land, I guess,
I would like to declare this day every year, uh, Mr. Jay Day.
Oh, Barry!
Mr. Jay.
Dad, I won.
What!
Yeah.
No, you did not.
Everybody, my daughter is officially
the Spelling Bee Champion of the universe.
Oh, good for you!
- Well done! - Well done.
Check it out.
Oh.
I made friends with Tristen.
Excellent.
They finally came around just like you said.
And they even want to be a part
of our next big birthday mission.
Really?
Yeah.
- Awesome! We have elves. - Okay.
We have elves, oh!
A year of change isn't so awful after all.
And an awful lot can change in a year.
I'll never forget my dad for making me smile
during those tough times.
He encouraged me to hold onto hope a little bit longer.
And he said, eventually things will get better.
And they sure did.
My next birthday was a full house.
Happy birthday!
And I loved every minute of it.
It was like all of a sudden I had all these new aunts,
and uncles, and friends.
Like the family I always wanted.
Oh, thank you, my love.
Let me see that ring.
Oh.
Aww, right.
Huh, yeah?
You did good.
And thanks to social media,
the International Birthday Network
truly became a real network.
Turns out, Tristen's a wiz on the computer.
She was able to get us over a million likes
in the first week and really helped us bring
the IBN into the 21st century.
Happy birthday, dear Emily,
happy birthday to you!
And many more!
Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull