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Chains?
My legs.
Just joking, man.
It's just joking.
So you'll get a feeling that it's a serious movie.
Drama effect.
I'll set myself free.
Here, I'll show you how to get free of this.
Turn it.
Damn!
This is serious! Hey!
How can I get to this position?
How come I'm in this position now? Ouch!
Who tied me up like this?
($04!.!
Send me a savior!
What's going on here?
What's happening?
Help!
A sound of two-stroke engine motorcycle.
My savior!
Finally you're here, Master Limbad!
Master Limbad, please unchain me.
Can you do it?
It's so hard to talk with Master Limbad.
I know. He didn't really understand me.
I knew it!
Master Limbad.
Remove these chain and padlock off me.
Because my stomach starts to get nauseous now.
Remove them quick, Limbad.
Why don't you tell me earlier, Kemal?
I've told you already. You're the one who didn't understand!
Slowly. It hurts, you know?
Already removed.
You're great, Limbad.
Now my legs.
Quick.
Untie the rope. Don't grope me, Limbad.
Wave define on you anyway , Kama“.!
We did it!
You're great, Limbad!
Thanks.
Let's have fun!
Dance, Limbad.
Let me introduce myself.
My name is Kemal Palevi.
And welcome to the movie.
APPklllSe, please!
You are watching this half-heartedly, not spontaneously.
If you're not spontaneous
I'll turn off this movie. There!
What are you watching?
What are you watching now?
You there, on seat B7 and B8!
What are you two doing?
Don't be naughty, get married first.
If you give me your applause
I'll turn it on again.
APPklllSe, please!
Okay, not bad.
I'm gonna turn on the movie again then.
Well, well, well, not bad.
Though no one seems to give applause anyway.
But it's okay, as long as you're still willing to watch this movie.
Thank God for that.
Now it's time for me to tell the story of my life
from my childhood to finally become a stand-up comedian at present.
I grew up in Samarinda city, East Kalimantan.
At first, I want to make this movie
the Samarinda part, in Banjar language.
But the problem is, if I use the original Samarindanese language
the movie will become like this
(Speaking Banjar language, East Kalimantan)
See?
You'll get puzzled if I use Samarindanese language, right?
That's why I use common language for this movie.
Common language used in Jakarta.
And now let's get back to the core of this movie.
When I was a kid
I actually was not a loser type or something.
Girls used to go crazy for me ever since I was a kid.
Now this is the way to comb the doll.
Okay?
Not too fast.
It'll get tangled.
Okay?
Actually it's not hard for me to get a girl.
It's a piece of cake.
The problem is I was too picky.
I only want to get a popular or well-known girl.
So I could show her off to other boys.
One second.
One by one. Don't go together at once.
Zaskia!
I love you!
Zaskia!
I love you!
Zaskia!
I can recite Al-Baqarah!
Praise the Lord.
In this era
there's still a young man who can recite AI-Baqarah.
What can I do for you?
I love you.
That's one of the factors why I failed to get the most popular girl.
Now there are other factors.
For example
sometimes I always failed to get the most popular girl
because I was too fast in proclaiming that I love her.
Miss
will you be my girlfriend?
Ouch.
It's natural if I was too fast in proclaiming my love.
Because I've experienced
how hurt it was to be fooled when I was proclaiming my love!
Dea, I want to tell you something.
What is it?
How can I say it?
'Can
Kama“. Kama“.!
Deal
Shit, I was being fooled!
And the more hurtful thing is
when I once proclaimed my love to a girl
it turned out that
For the last time
will you be my girfriend?
Are you nuts?
No, I'm a normal man.
Hey, you!
That was nuts.
How can I not do that?
That girl gave me some sign, so I got encouraged!
Finally I've decided
when I was in high school, I must become the coolest guy.
And to become the coolest guy
this movie will tell you how. And this is my story.
NO KEMAL NO LOVE
Round the right answer.
Don't pierce it.
It's not election time.
Cheating material in Arabic language
- Kemal! - I am (chicken).
What is this? What is this?
It's
It's an invocation. Invocation from my father.
What invocation?
Invocation for the exam.
Hey, kids.
See this?
Look at Kemal here.
If you want to have an exam, you must pray first.
That's called faith.
Okay?
Kemal.
Do you have invocation to attract women?
What I've studied last night didn't come out at the exam at all.
You bet.
- What a difficulf exam, right? - It's a mess.
Fortunately I've already read that book of yours there.
Fastest ways in passing an exam
Yeah.
I applied the theory from page 63 back there.
Fastest ways in passing an exam (Not Mario Teduh) page 63
I've graduated from a Military Academy.
And I hate cheaters most!
Sir.
Budi over there cheats.
- Hey, Budi! - Check him out, Sir.
You must be cheating!
You must be cheating! Open it! Open it!
Open his trousers! Open his trousers!
Come on, open his trousers!
Good thing we have the book.
Yeah, man.
This is my friend, Khalil.
His father worked in Forestry Department.
Dealing with forest.
One day, his father was ordered to move to Pekanbaru.
Naturally, Khalil and his family must move there too.
But since Khalil didn't want to move, he decided to stay in Samarinda.
Until he graduated from high school.
And since he has no home anymore
he decided to stay in my house.
Well, until at least he can become a candidate for presidential election.
Damn, your book is so cool... Great.
Of course.
And my suggestion is, it's just my suggestion
you don't need to study indeed.
- Why? - Just play the Playstation.
What? Are you nuts?
Then what will become the fate of our nation, Indonesia?
It's in the hands of young men like us!
You're playing Mr. Wise Guy, huh?
What exam tomorrow?
English.
I won't study then.
Why?
Because it's not important.
- You know what's important? - What?
Sundanese language.
Javanese.
Sanskrit. Now that's important.
I'll do the exam if that's the subject.
You're right.
You're fit to become my deputy.
What deputy?
A deputy to make Indonesia more disciplined.
Free from corruption.
Clean.
And the most important thing
free from flood.
Free from flood.
- Cool, isn't it? - Cool.
It's Raisya, bro.
Raisya was the most beautiful girl among my peers.
She was wanted by the boys, because she's not only beautiful
but she's also kind, man.
She's like an angel coming down from heaven.
That's the reason why I wanted to get so close to her.
And I also was a fan of Nanda because he's the most handsome boy in our school.
He was well-known because he's very patient.
Please, listen to me first.
You're noisy! Talk too much!
We break up now!
Break up!
You shithead!
You think you're the only one who can have an affair?
I also can!
But I'm puzzled.
Raisya is beautiful.
Nanda is also handsome, cool.
But why they're always fighting?
I warn you!
I'll have an affair tonight!
With who?
With your father!
- I'm an orphan. - Huh?
Well with some old man, that's for certain!
Here.
Eat my nose's shit! Eat it!
- Eat my nose's shit! - Hey!
One second.
Why are YOU glaring?
You still want to see the tomorrow's sun?
Eat this!
- Twist his balls! - Twist them!
Straighten his whiskers!
Squeeze, squeeze!
That's Daniel.
I'm on Nanda.
Move, move away.
Five thousand bet, okay, Mal?
Yeah. I'm on Nanda.
I'm on Daniel.
- Nanda, Nanda! - Daniel, Daniel!
Has anybody had puma phone axed“?
Mal, you want to make Raisya your girlfriend, right?
Make Raisya my girlfriend? Of course I do!
But how?
Everybody loves a hero.
Now you break up this fight.
You're out of your mind.
Last time somebody broke up Nanda's fight
he went into suspended animation!
- Get him to do nikah siri! - Nikah siri! (Marriage allowed by religion)
Nanda, knock him out.
Mal, Raisya's lingerie is exposed.
Where?
What the hell are you doing?
- Move away! - Everything can be solved peacefully. Calm down.
Enough! Go away!
Look! Raisya's lingerie!
What the hell?
Raisya's lingerie!
My underwear!
Kama“.!
Here, my underwear!
Kama“.!
Follow me to my room!
Damn.
Counseling teacher.
What will she do to us?
Frightening, isn't it?
So frightening.
I'm giving you one week suspension.
Ma'am, I just intended to break up back there.
But the problem was they suddenly passed out.
When they passed out, I happened to be the last one at the scene.
Cut the crap!
No matter what, the last person at the scene
will absolutely be responsible!
You're the last person at the scene! That means you're the one who holds responsibility!
But this is a slander, ma'am, right?
This is a slander, ma'am!
Remember, ma'am.
- A slander is crueler than a murder! - Yes.
Slander is a big sin!
- Right? - Yeah.
Allah's punishment is bitter, ma'am!
Remember, ma'am, remember, Allah akbar (God is great)!
- Allah akbar! - Allah akbar!
Hey! What are you doing?
Why both of you are screaming?
Are you two students or community organization?
Get out of here! Get out!
- Okay, ma'am. - Excuse me, ma'am.
Before I called all your parents!
You, young men, are complicated!
Go in first.
O kay-
But don't forget to wash your feet first.
I don't want my room to get dirty.
I want to cover Roy first.
I just have it washed. If it rains, it'll get dirty again.
Kama“.!
My daddy was a national athlete for karate sporting branch.
He's very much feared by other people.
That's why I was so scared when he got mad at me.
He's being feared so much that
when he ordered all other athletes to do something, they will absolutely do it.
This is no ordinary karate.
But it's PKK.
Association of Karate Kepoiera.
'Kepo' means curiosity.
And 'era' means other people's shame.
So 'kepoeira' is
a martial art which take advantage of other people's shame.
- Understand? - Understand!
Great, you sound firm!
Plig-
Don't be too loud in humiliating me.
Get over here!
Are you being suspended from school?
No.
Liar!
Yeah.
Good.
That's my boy.
Because I believe
to get succesful at school
no need to have to go to school.
Remember that!
Now go over there.
I want to learn martial art deeper.
But please cover me back.
My daddy believed that
to be a karate champion, he didn't have to be taught karate.
My daddy was inspired by Karate Kid movie.
I lived with my daddy and my brother.
You've already seen my daddy.
Now let me show you my brother.
He will have no dialogue.
Because I'm the one who wrote the book, not him.
“ Kemal brother“ Now back to my parents.
My dad and mom had already separated.
The problem was simple. Just because of vision and mission's difference.
My dad wanted to get his hair cut in France while my mom wanted to get her nails cut in Italy.
That difference made them divorced.
Although they finally met again at World Cup's Final in 2006.
I'm confused.
Well, whatever.
Whatever what?
You're not answering me.
I'll think about it.
I know.
I know how to avoid doing nothing while being suspended.
What, Mal?
I must find a girlfriend.
A beautiful girlfriend.
At least as beautiful as Luna Maya.
So I'll have something to do while being suspended.
So when I get back to school again on Monday
and I do the exam alone
if I already have a girlfriend, she will keep my spirit up, right?
You got a point.
I happen to read a book.
Tips For Attracting Girls, by Not Mario Teduh.
That author has so many editions.
Yeah.
Is there any edition on burning the neighbor's house?
I think there is.
- Is there? - There is.
Or the one on fixing my dad's brain. ls there?
If I really look for it, I'm sure there is.
Okay then.
The important thing is we have to find some chicks tonight.
O kay-
At 'Ter-Hits' (most popular) cafe in Samarinda.
'Ter-Hits' cafe in Samarinda.
Yeah.
I think I've fallen in love
At first sight
Mal, not here.
As far as I know it, the band is not good.
We're here to look for girls, not watching some band.
But look at the name, AN.
They think they're gonna be famous.
You're right, it's a weird name, AN.
- Yeah. - It's so uncool.
To make
Oh, my God.
It seems that the mic stand is damaged, like your attitude.
You know how to make them famous?
- How? - Get me to join them.
Oh, yes, Yes- Yes-.
You're really cool, Lil, my bro.
- Yeah. - But the problem is you can no longer join them.
Why?
They're already gone.
You can't.
Let's get girls now, okay?
Okay, let's get girls.
I'll find the most strategic place here.
O kay-
Let's try over there.
There.
This is the most strategic place here, Mal.
Lil, what are we seeing here? A wall?
Wait a second.
You understand what I mean now, don't you?
A bit.
The mission to find a single girl begins.
She's pretty.
No, Mal. She has a boyfriend already.
How can you tell?
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
There.
You're right.
How do you know?
You're not paying attention.
She looked at her watch again and again.
That meant she's been waiting for someone.
And looked like the person she's been waiting for was late.
Shortly after that, she looked at her cellphone.
That meant her boyfriend had texted her
telling her, 'Honey, I'm at the front already'.
- So to speak. - Your analysis is quite okay.
But I can't trust you 100%.
- Why? - Because 2.5% of my trust is for
the destitute and the poor.
Good, good. Okay. Let's continue.
Okay, err
Here. This one.
She looks pretty from the back.
No, Mal. She's a lesbian.
What a crap! How can you tell?
Just watch.
She sits like that.
With that kind of shoes.
Wearing that semi trousers.
It's fixed. She's a lesbian.
It's common! You think girls can't wear that kind of dress?
It is common indeed.
But I darely bet
she's seeing the bartender.
What's the proof?
The drink on the bar is just plain water from early on.
You just watch.
When they talk
she always smiles like that.
And they're also holding hands.
Just watch what they're doing now.
Damn!
They'll be hugging for a long long time.
Never mind. I'll pick anybody at random then.
I'll approach this one.
I've been watching her, she looks okay from the back.
I'll go to her. I don't give a damn.
Hey!
Hey, Mal, not that one!
Hi, Pretty girl.
Let me introduce myself.
Oh, my God.
Hey!
I'm a man, you idiot!
Use your eyes well!
Let's introduce ourselves then.
Forget it.
SQ?
Forget it.
I'm sorry.
It's a man.
That's what you get for not believing me.
Fine, fine! Whatever!
I give up!
Now you pick one for me.
O kay-
That one, Mal.
You see her?
Where?
I'm sure about this one.
That's your future wife.
Fine.
What is the plan now?
O kay-
So here's what you must do.
You come there.
You just go here and there, to and fro.
Then she will ask you
What are you looking for?
Then you'll answer
Looking for a girlfriend like you.
But what if she already has a boyfriend?
Sorry, I already have a boyfriend.
If she already has a boyfriend
you'll say
Congratulations!
You've answered correctly!
And you get one hundred thousand rupiah! Yay!
Please accept it.
And you're on
'Introduce Myself? ...Sure, Why Not?'.
There's a camera there, there's a camera there. Yay!
Then beat it.
- That simple? - Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
- Makes sense. - Okay?
O kay-
- Good luck, Mal. - Okay, good.
I'm going over there now.
- Good. - Good.
What are you looking for?
Looking for a girlfriend like you.
Are you serious?
Don't you see what I'm doing?
Hey!
She's my wife!
What are you doing here?
Err mister
Damn you!
It's the funniest part and you go to the toilet?
Your theories are all wrong!
I've gotten a punch instead!
Practice, don't just talk!
Don't just read books!
Hurry up, Lil!
Mal, I can't defecate if you keep on talking to me.
I must focus.
Shit!
It's defecation conspiracy!
The Rock was about to smack Undertaker down and you're defecating!
Just tell me you don't want me to win!
When PSPs are finally issued in Samarinda
I won't play with you anymore!
You'll see!
Shit!
I better go on-line.
Rama';?
Is this really you, Raisya?
Yes, Mal. It's me, Raisya.
Raisya Tamara? From 'Kesatuan' High School?
Yes, Kemal.
Lil!
Get out quick, Lil!
What is it, Mal?
Just get out now!
It's very important! Urgent!
What is it, Mal?
Lil.
With all due respect
can you get dressed first?
Yeah, sure.
Sorry, Mal. One second.
Lord have mercy.
Lil, hum] up!
What, Mal?
Lil.
You get dressed indeed.
- Yeah. - But you're not wearing your pants!
Your penis is seen! I can't focus!
I can't put my pants yet, Mal.
I haven't wiped my ass yet.
Geez, whatever!
What the hell is it? You're interrupting my defecation.
Here.
Raisya gets me to chat with her, but I don't know what to say.
You must help me.
Where?
Shit!
Your penis has touched my ass!
Get that away from me! Far away!
Sorry, Mal.
It's unitentional.
Don't get me wrong here.
I'm just not ready yet.
O kay-
Fine.
I'm puzzled, why Khalil didn't wear his pants still?
Damn, my chair smelled like shit now.
But with Khalifs help
I finally had a date with Raisya!
Yes, turned out that Raisya had a crush on me!
She never thought I dared to hit Nanda.
Kama“.!
- Hey. Over here, Sya. - Okay.
Sorry... Have you been waiting for long?
No. Not too long.
Yeah.
Here. I've bought some food and drink for our meal while we'll watch the movie. See?
I have popcorns.
I've bought nachos here.
Nachos, snacks.
Instant noodle, chicken noodle.
Everything... Fried snacks.
Ice tea, plain water, ablution water.
It's complete.
You have so many things with you.
Are we going to watch a movie or go camping?
You may also have a tent as well.
You want some tent?
- Let me get one first. - No.
I'm just kidding. Geez.
Okay. I thought you're serious.
No, no.
By the way
are you usually being this aggressive to a girl?
Aggressive?
- I'm going to the toilet first?. - Okay.
What about tomorrow? Tomorrow is Thursday, right? Or Friday?
Saturday? It's more likely isn't it? or all the three days?
Or what about now?
No. I'm not being aggressive.
Just normal, I think.
O kay-
Let me eat first.
What's this?
This?
I bought here
Book of Yaseen.
Because I tend to get paranoid when I'm watching movies.
I'm afraid if the ghost suddenly jumps out from the screen.
And it suddenly freaks me out.
If the ghost freaks me out
I can directly invoke from this book.
That's why I bought this.
O kay-
Hey, let's go in now.
Yeah.
The movie is about to start.
One second.. Let me have this wrapped.
- One second. - Mal
It's not funny, Mal.
So beautiful is the rainbow
Inside the eyes
When I blink my eyes
Turns out it's you
Yes, you
There's an angel
Playing in my dream
When she flies away, she {eaves no trace
All I remember is you
Remember you
Darling, HI accompany you anywhere you want to go
So sincerelly I
How dare Kemal does this.
Let's tell Nanda about this.
Fishing without safety
means fishing for anger.
I will
find and go
Ma“.!
What have you done to me last night?
Huh?
Why you're laughing?
Because I thought you were Raisya.
You've already been seeing Raisya now?
What are you talking about?
Have you been seeing her already?
What a curious boy.
Mal, tell me.
I don't know.
Ma“.!
I'll take a bath first, because you're gonna take a long time for defecating.
Mal, have you been seeing her?
- Wham er . - Ma“.!
Ma“.!
Hey, Mal.
What?
This motorbike is hung like that, just like Independence Day's celebration.
Yeah.
What a prank.
There may not be snack eating contest anymore on Independence Day's celebration.
But motorbike eating contest instead.
Never mind. Come on.
I've gotten an exam today.
Where are you going?
Chicken!
Where are you going?
I'm going to the classroom.
What's going on between you and Raisya?
Rama';?
Nothing, nothing.
Liar!
Nothing indeed.
Liar!
Don't lie to me.
If I push you to be honest
you can be kicked out of this school, man.
There's really nothing between us, right?
- No, there isn't. - There isn't, Nan.
Let's go to the classroom now... Excuse us.
Hey.
Our business is not over yet.
What the hell do you want?
Hey, Mal.
How cocky!
You dare challenging me?
You want to fight me?
Just kidding...Forget it.
Is your tie's brand name is 'Umbul-umbul' here?
Your kindness is fake, you shithead!
I don't give a shit.
We'll fight after school!
O kay-
But let's do it on Sunday.
Why you're the one who made the decision?
Just shut up.
Sunday afternoon.
O kay-
Sunday afternoon.
Not in the afternoon.
Make it after that.
There's an invitation in the afternoon.
He's right. We must come.
Family member.
Sunday at four thirty.
Not at four thirty!
Five o'clock! Five o'clock, okay?
Need time to get dressed.
And for three o'clock sholat (praying).
Fine! Fine!
You fussy!
Sunday at five o'clock.
Okay. It's a deal.
And one more thing, never go near Raisya again!
Okay. It's a deal.
Pay my motorbike's installment.
Okay. It's a deal.
How come you're saying okay all the time?
Okay. It's a deal.
If you can't make it
here
I'll hang Roy like Daniel's motorbike over there!
You understand?
Okay, gang, beat it.
He'll hang Roy?
It's all because of you! You kept on saying okay!
Relax, I've gotten a brilliant idea, Mal.
What idea?
I'll tell you after school.
What's your idea?
You said you're gonna tell me your idea.
One moment, Mal.. I need to go to the toilet.
Okay?
I'll tell you after this.
URFAN BLOG www.urfan.my.id
You're going to the toilet all the time!
Defecating is your passion or what?
Lil!
Hurry up, tell me!
Lil!
Be patient, Mal.
Easy for you to say! You shouldn't just accept Nanda's challenge like that!
I'll be the one who fights anyway!
I often said, everybody loves a hero.
So this is your second chance to become Raisya's hero.
Do you still want to be Raisya's boyfriend or not?
Of course I still do!
So listen to my idea!
The problem is I haven't heard any of your idea yet since this morning, Khalil!
I forgot, Mal!
You forgot?
Good! That's great!
Just prepare my grave then!
Mal.
Just tell your dad to train you.
He's a national athletes' trainer.
I'm sure you'll win if you fight Nanda.
No, no, no. That's a bad idea.
You know I can't have my dad train me again.
I'm having a trauma because of it!
Bring the hot water, Kemal.
Pour it on my hands!
Pour it!
No.
Don't get stubborn!
Pour it!
Come on!
You must obey a leader's order!
Especially a family leader like me.
Pour it!
Be serious!
It's hot!
Ever since that
I never dare to drink a hot drink in front of my dad, Lil.
Don't be such a crybaby.
Just follow my plan.
Relax, I'll talk to your dad.
Okay?
Do you seriously want to practice PKK?
Association of Karate Kepoeira?
- I do! - As a man, don't look weak.
You have to be strong in accepting your opponent's challenge.
That's why you have to start with a strong stand.
Show the moves which will embarrass your opponent.
But don't humiliate him.
Because of a blind love
The body suffers
How do you berate your opponent?
Plig-
You have a pug nose.
Or you've been to defecate on your pants.
Something like that.
You've been to pee in your classroom.
It will make your opponent dropped.
And his shame will come out.
- Come out? - Yeah.
A little bit girlish.
Mal, wake up.
Mal.
Mal, exercise!
Exercise, Mal!
- Mal. - Kemal.
Let me handle this.
What was that?
What's this, papa?
Open it.
It's Kung Fu Panda t-shirt.
If your kung fu doesn't succeed
let panda fights your enemies.
Understand?
Understand!
Mal.
It's scary.
Shit.
Just like in the movies.
Ma“.!
Sorry.
Silence!
Khalil, Khalil, Khalil.
I feel a pity for you.
When I finish slaughtering Kemal
you'll be left alone.
Jamil!
You move over there.
I can't, Nan.
I'm your loyal supporter.
If you're my loyal supporter
you listen to what I said!
Move!
L-lurry "P!
Foo“.!
Your padlock's key.
Now you're free from me.
Well, well, well.
What a cocky boy. Nuts.
Hey, Nan.
You think you can win this time, huh?
I've been practicing!
This time I'll win!
Right, Lil?
Lil?
Lil!
What are you doing?
Ma“.!
He has a PSP!
Huh?
PSP!
PS P?
- Wow. - PSP.
PSP!
Jamil!
Why didn't you tell me you have a PSP?
You never ask.
Have I known it, I won't tell you to move there!
I'll tell him instead!
But I have I Phone!
Phone'?
- Phone. - Phone.
Phone.
- How come you have it? - How come you have it?
My dad is Steve Jobs's friend.
LPhone!
Lil, what's wrong with you?
- Stand up, Lil! They're getting close! - My legs are cramped, Mal.
Lil, we can die here.
Mal, I think we can't run anymore.
We must fight.
Huh? You serious?
Yeah.
Why are you all laughing?
Nothing!
Fortunately you stop.
Because I'm tired!
Lil.
- It seems that I have to fight this time. - Yes, Mal.
But remember, Lil, last night we have arranged a strategy.
Okay?
You ready?
Ready.
Gang
back off!
Lil, now.
Hey!
It's Raisya's bra!
Bra!
You want to fool me again?
No way!
Oh, no. He's not fooled this time.
You must find a way, Lil!
I'll die if you don't do that!
- Okay? - Hey!
Okay, Mal.
Quick, Lil!
Damn.
Hey!
LPhone!
Mal, get him now!
Oh. yes!
You have a pug nose!
Mal, finish him!
I'm knocking him.
'(am!
Kama“.!
The counseling teacher's here?
Raisya!
It's good you're here!
Look! I've defeated Nanda!
That means I can be your boyfriend now!
Yes!
Sorry.
I can't.
You can't?
But I've defeated Nanda.
Who told you to fight with Nanda?
And if you've defeated Nanda, you think you can get me?
But I've tried already, Sya.
I like you as a friend, that's it!
Sya, when we dated last time, we're so happy.
Why you don't give me a chance?
Mal, I haven't had a crush on you!
Your motorbike is battered anyway!
And you're too aggressive, you know that?
I don't like a too aggressive boy!
Dammit!
thought Raisya liked me.
But turned out! was dumped because she said I was aggressive.
In what way I was aggressive?
Aggfessive!
After that
I faced national exam.
Thank God, I passed with satisfactory grades.
But not satisfactory for my parents.
And finally I decided to move to Jakarta.
To study in Jakarta.
When I first arrived in Jakarta
I felt uncomfortable with Jakarta's traffic jam.
So the phrase which says 'I'm getting old in the street' only applies in Jakarta.
Very bad traffic jam.
One way to deal with Jakarta's traffic jam
is to add public transport facility.
But why land transportation is added again and again?
It will only add more traffic jam. It's no use.
If you want no traffic jam
there should be air transportation device facility.
Now that's the way to avoid traffic jam.
Tanah Abang, Tanah Abang.
We arrive in Tanah Abang now.
Is this Tanah Abang?
Y to the O to the I.
Yeah.
The soil is so red here.
What about Tanah None?
There's many. You can just pick.
Okay, good. I'm coming down here then.
Hey, hey. hey-
Pay first, bro.
O kay-
Stamp.
Tanah Abang, Tanah None.
Tanah Abangfianah Abangjanah Abang.
You seriously want me to go down here?
Yeah, it's your destination, right?
Yeah, but
You serious?
This is Tanah Abang. Quick.
Dont be kidding.
You fool!
Shit!
How scary!
Abort! Abort! Abort!
Cancelled! Cancelled! Quit, I quit, I quit.
When I was in Jakarta already
I studied at ISJ, Jakarta Art Institute.
At ISJ, from semester 1 to semester 5
I can say I'm not too focused on girls.
But when I entered semester 6
Bang! Boom!
Everything changes.
Hi, Kemal.
This girl's name is Putri.
She had a crush on me, and honestly, I had a crush on her too.
But since I had a traumatic experience of being called aggressive
I played a cool guy now.
You like reading newspaper too?
We have the same interest then.
What newspaper is this? Let me see.
Just ordinary people's newspaper.
Hey, Mister!
Kama“.!
I've had a trauma concerning good girls.
Kemal.
But turned out they just gave you a false hope.
Kama“.!
Hi, Kemal.
Let's practice the dialogue.
Actually I'd love to.
But today I happen to have an agenda with these two freaks.
Sorry.
Okay, it's all right. But
promise to do it, next time.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay. Bye.
Bye.
Be careful.
These were my friends at ISJ.
Their names were Jovi and Hifdzi.
He's a stupid caucasian.
And he's just stupid.
Mal.
Why did you lie to Putri?
She wanted you to accompany her home, man.
Yeah, dude.
It's a sign that she had a crush on you, Kemal.
What's wrong with you?
Oh, Kemal.
I told you
I'm the one who have more experience in approaching girls than you two!
You don't teach me!
You freaks!
I'm out of here!
I don't give a shit!
Ma“.!
Don't tell me what to do, Jovi!
Ma“.!
Jovi!
I told you I'm the one who have more experience in approaching girls, that's it!
Mal, that's a dead end!
I'm still the one who has more experience in approaching girls!
But concerning roads
no.
Hi, Kemal.
Yes.
Kemal, my dad will be an hour late to pick me up.
Let's have a dialogue practice, shall we?
I'll eat first.
What are you going to eat, Kemal?
I'm gonna eat this, meatballs.
I'll accompany you, okay?
But it will take a very long time for me to eat.
It's all right, I'm not in a hurry.
Let me accompany you, okay?
O kay-
No debt!
O kay-
I'll eat now.
Happy eating.
Thank God.
Finally.
Can we do dialogue practice now?
But I haven't drunk yet.
It will take a longtime again, won't it?
Relax, Putri.
Drinking won't take as long as eating.
Just relax.
Drinking will only take a moment.
Okay?
Drink first, practice after that. Okay?
Very bad!
You two are embarassing!
Now wait a minute, Sir.
We did fairly well already just now, didn't we?
Your brain is indeed twisted, Kemal.
Hey.
Fairly well what?
I'm sure
if you two
go for a TV movie audition
you won't get cast until judgment day!
You're nothing compared to Shireen Sungkar and Teuku Wisnu.
They even got married already.
It shows how deep they developed
a chemistry.
Starting now, you must practice harder.
- Okay? - Okay, Sir.
If at the next meeting
your acting is still as bad as now
I'll decide that you two don't pass in my course!
And you will have to learn again until next year!
It applies to you all too!
Yes, Sir.
Don't play deaf!
See you at the next meeting.
Adios.
Kemal, why you don't seem to get serious in practicing?
Reluctant.
Sorry, Putri.
I'm serious, Kemal.
Starting now, we must be close.
We must have the chemistry, Kemal!
We must beat Shireen Sungkar and Teuku Wisnu!
The last thing I want is because of you
I don't pass this course.
And I have to study again until next year.
I don't want that, Kemal!
I want to finish my paper!
Okay, okay!
Why do you say okay all the time? I'm being serious here!
I want us to have a chemistry, Kemal!
Okay!
You can drive me home now, can't you?
No way.
Besides, I only bring one helmet.
Why you still have excuses?
You can buy another helmet on the road!
If you're not taking me home
I'll tell Mr. Siregar
to substitute Romeo player, and then
you won't pass
only me who will.
You want that?
No.
I don't want that.
Drive me home.
Okay, okay.
Res“.
I'm gonna practice with Kemal, okay?
Be safe, Mal.
Remember, safety first.
Kemal, is the helmet seller still far?
We'll get there in a second.
Hello.
Excuse me.
Where's the seller?
Excuse me.
You want to steal, don't you?
What are you doing there?
It's traditional CCTV.
Many took my helmets since yesterday.
My helmets were missing.
You here to steal or what?
No. I want to buy a helmet.
Oh, you want to buy. Go ahead, pick.
So many here. Which one? The white one?
Or the black one?
Or Curtain One?
That's a quiz show.
So which one? Here, here.
This one. Okay?
- The white one? - Okay.
Go ahead. Try it.
Gotta fit.
Okay?
Good. Does it fit?
It fits. Good.
- It fits. So fits. - Okay.
How much?
Two million.
How expensive! It's irregular!
How much is the regular price?
One hundred and fifty thousand.
One hundred and fifty thousand?
They're absolute too.
- Like the ones on TV. - Oh, really?
Very well, uncle.
I'm going to the college now. Okay?
This book sure has a lot of advantages.
COLLECTION OF MSDOMS - NOT MARIO TEDUH
Kemal, we must not disappoint Mr. Siregar.
We must memorize all dialogues.
Uh-huh.
I want us to master all these dialogues.
We must be able to defeat Shireen Sungkar, Teuku Wisnu.
We must beat them all, okay?
Yes.
Don't just say yes. If I say
'Kemal, let's practice'
you must practice.
Because we have so many scenes.
Kemal.
Kemal, come here.
Oh, for the kindness.
Blame not your hands.
Your solemnity is very righteous.
And aren't my hands
and your hands are touching?
Yes, our hands are met
Putri seemed to really like me.
Not giving a false hope like Raisya.
Well, I mustn't be indifferent anymore toward her.
Your dialogue.
Good, good. Stand up, stand up.
Good.
I think
your chemistry has started to be seen.
Yes.
But our show will start shortly.
At our next meeting, it should be much better than today.
Can you two do it?
Yes, we can.
That's the spirit.
But if you two can't
I better move to another campus!
- In that case, we can't. - No, Sir.
- I can't. It's fixed. - We can't. No.
So you really want me to move to another campus?
If that so
I consider you two don't pass
my course! Period!
Oh, no, Kemal.
Sir, we're just kidding.
Sir, it's just kidding.
Oh, Kemal... We're just kidding.
Just kidding?
Sir.
I'm also kidding, class.
Very well, then. See you next class.
Sir, one moment.
What is it?
Your zipper is unzipped, Sir.
Is it ...?
It's not!
I'm just kidding, class.
I'm the only one who can be kidding!
Hey, who turns off the light?
It's me, Sir. Sorry.
I'm just kidding, class.
I'm the only one who can be kidding!
Hey, Put, how are you and Kemal?
I think he starts to change.
He's no longer indifferent now.
I'm so happy , Res“.
Don't get too happy first on this.
No, I'm serious. I'm sure about this.
Putri, lookout! Putri!
Come on, Res“.
What have you done?
You must find me a good dress.
When Kemal proclaims that he loves me
I must look pretty and great, okay?
You sure Kemal will do that?
Of course.
If he doesn't do that, I will.
What?
What the hell is that freak ordering anyway?
It takes too damn long!
Hey, polar bear!
Be patient, dude.
I'm really hungry.
Rama';?
Kama“.!
How are you, Man?
I miss you so much! I swear!
Do you study in Jakarta?
No, I study in Jogja.
I'm on holiday, that's why I'm here.
Let me introduce my friend here.
Hey.
- Jovi. - Raisya.
Have a seat, Sya.
Wow!
Kemal.
Introduce yourself.
Hello.
- Hifdzi. - Raisya.
Hey, hey. hey!
I'll spill it on you. What are you talking about?
Mal.
Don't be too aggressive.
You talk nonsense.
Mal.
Let's talk one moment.
Huh?
What do you want to talk about, Sya?
Come on... Just one moment.
Come here.
Come on.
Mal.
'Can
I want to apologize to you.
Apologize for what, Sya?
I was being so mean to you.
I've given you false hope.
That was a long time ago.
I forgot that already.
Sorry, I mean no harm right now.
But I regret it after it's much too late.
I was so afraid to have a relationship.
So I looked for excuses so we wouldn't go steady.
By the way
because of what your friends said just now
I now remember
I once told you that you were aggressive, right?
Anything wrong about being aggressive?
I just made that up.
You did all right at the time, you did fine.
It's just that I was too afraid.
You were aggressive, a little bit.
But it's no problem.
Wait a minute.
So you mean I actually wasn't aggressive at the time?
No.
If you want to chase a girl, you must do that instead.
If you act too indifferently, the girl will think you don't like her.
Dammit, Sya!
That means I'm doing a fatal mistake now!
I've been approaching a girl
and I've been acting so indifferently toward her
because I still have a trauma since you told me that I was aggressive!
Dammit, Sya, why must you wait until now to tell me this?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Oh, Mal, I'm so sorry.
What's wrong, Put?
Res
looks like it's Kemal.
No wonder he doesn't proclaim his love up to now.
You be patient.
You want me to come to him now?
Okay then.
I'm gonna go now.
O kay-
- Sorry. - Never mind.
Bye.
Putri, are you busy now? I need to talk to you.
I'm tired. I'm going to sleep now.
No rush, man.
Why should I proclaim my love now? H! see her in two days anyway.
I better do it after the show.
Who is the virgin who attributes the knight's hand?
So bright compared to the night.
So beautiful among the women.
If my hand stains this holy podium
how sinful I am.
Only your name
which has become my enemy.
Oh, Romeo.
Where is my husband?
Where is my Romeo?
Why you drank all this poison?
You didn't leave even a bit for me.
To save my life.
What is it, Mal?
I want to talk to you.
If you want to talk to me you don't have to pull my hand like this.
Come on, Putri, this is so important.
How rare for you to do this.
What is it, Mal?
Will you be my girlfriend, Put?
Don't take too long to answer, Put.
I just need an answer. PleaseL
It's too late, Mal.
Too late?
What do you mean?
I already have a boyfriend now.
No way.
Last time we dated, you said you were single.
Now you say you have a boyfriend.
It happens recently. We've been going steady recently.
You already have a girlfriend too, haven't you?
I have a girlfriend?
I'm single, Putri, I'm single.
Since when do I have one?
Kemal, I saw you in the mall with a girl.
I saw you hugging that girl.
Were you there also at the time?
I was there with Resti.
My God, Putri.
She's just a friend of mine when I was in high school in Samarinda.
She's not special.
Kemal, if she's just your friend
why must you hug her?
Well it's a long story.
But to be honest, I once had a crush on her.
But that's it.
That's not important, Putri.
The important thing is
you must become my girlfriend, Putri.
I care so much about you.
I love you so much, Putri.
You must become my girlfriend.
Sorry, you're too late.
Romeo.
And Juliet.
Baby-
Thank you, Kemal.
Come on.
It's about to rain.
Oh, it so hurts
Forced to stop
Loving
When the seed of love is blooming
When life has more meaning
Turns out it doesn't go on for long
Something missing when you're gone
Feeling numb and imperfect
Restless and anger become one
A regret but all has already happened
Just put the paint in front of the door.
Ma“.!
It's me, Jovi, and Hifdzi!
Dude, open the door!
What is it?
A child asks his father?
Mal, what is that?
It's my painting.
My effusion.
You're genious, Mal.
Cool.
Yes, Mal.
This is so cool.
So cool, Mal.
What are you two doing here?
We want to take you to a place which will make you not restless.
There's only one girl who can relieve my restlessness.
Putri. That's it.
- Now what, Jo? - I don't know.
Listen to me, Jo.
Luna Maya, Jo.
Luna Maya.
Ma“.!
We want to see Luna Maya!
Let's go.
That's all from me, friends.
This is Raguel. Good night.
And now I present you, Arya Rafliyano!
Applause, please.
A girl is a creature who's easily getting angry.
You agree?
This is the proof. I met a girl at the front.
I kissed her cheek and she got angry.
So strange.
Because we didn't know each other.
I asked her, why you got angry when I kissed your cheek?
Of course I was angry. Why just my cheek? Not my lips as well?
And these girls wearing pads when they're menstruating.
Hey, Man.
You said we'll see Luna Maya. Where is she?
You two lie to me!
I'm out of here, man!
Mal, don't do that!
Stay here!. This place brings happiness.
But I told you two
the one who can eliminate my restlessness is Luna Maya or Putri!
That's it!
What kind of show is this?
It's not even funny!
So?.. Anyone else dares to try 'Open Mic'?
Kemal, Kemal! Kemal.
- Kemal. - Hey, what are you doing?
I don't understand this! I don't even know how to stand up!
- I'm out of here! - Why must you?
You want to go home again? Then what?
What will you do?
Paint? Bum the house?
You better be here, dammit!
I told you
I must see Luna Maya or Putri!
That's all!
Don't push me to stand up!
I'll hate you two!
I won't go there.
So who will tn] this 'Open Mic' next
before we close this cafe forever?
I will try.
Me too.
Come forward.
Okay. Please, Jovi, stand here.
Stand up is difficult.
Because you all sit, that's the proof.
So you don't like stand-up comedy?
I'll do three-sixty comedy then.
I don't like to be endorsed by a dress.
Because I think a dress is ordinary.
Fine!
This is called jumping comedy.
Hey, hey. hey-
Sorry, you're not funny. Please have a seat.
Jovi, it's so funny, Jo!
Great, Jo.
Fortunately you're handsome. So you're not that minus.
Okay, who's next?
Anyone?
Oh. yes!
Wish me luck, Miss.
Let me introduce myself.
My name is Hifdzi Choir.
And I'm a pious man.
So when I want to shake hands with a girl
I never touch her hands. Assalamualaikum, Uhqi.
But I kiss her.
Ever since I was a kid, I've been so very pious.
So when my friends stole some fruit
I'd always be the one to remind them
quick, dude, the owner is coming.
Hifdzi, you're so funny.
So when I watched a sad movie
I always cried.
Seven days after watching it, I still cried.
Because my laptop was stolen.
Thank you...l Hifdzi Choir, Wassalamualaikum Wrb.
Who will try for the last time, Stand-Up Comedy
Open Mic tonight, who's next?
Kemal.
- Kemal. - Kemal.
- Who? - Kemal.
- What? - Kemal.
Kemal... Kemal... Kemal...Kemal.
Hey, don't be noisy!
You're not funny and you're noisy.
There, man.
I was there!
I was embarrassed!
He happened to be funny.
Now it's your turn.
Show some solidarity.
Come on, Mal, come on stage.
We always do everything together.
Come on stage, Mal.
Come forward, Mal.
Listen, man!. They're calling your name.
- Come on, Mal. - Mal.
Come on, Mal... Come forward.
Mal.
- Come on, Mal. - Okay.
I'll come on stage.
For this friendship.
For both of you.
Come forward, come forward. Please.
From the look, you're an Arabian.
Arabian who needs to be understood. Pleaseunderstand.
Hello.
What's your name?
- Kemal. - Oh, Kemal.
We must see Kemal.
Because according to an lndonesian's phrase which says
no Kemal, no love.
O kay-
I now present you, applause please, Kemal.
Kama“.!
I'm...
actually kind of confused on what to say here.
But I think
I just want to say what's in my heart to you all.
Usually love is categorized into two.
One, falling in love, two, restless.
Who's the obvious champion? Me.
Third place champion.
After that I joined the audition for Indonesian Stand-Up Comedy Competition
and I made it to become
the Third Place Champion.
But even I only got the third place
at least I can make a movie now.
I can be succesful like I am now
because I was restless.
Restlessness will make you recognize yourself
so that you'll find what your passion is.
And when you already find what your passion is
you'll feel cool on yourself.
Okay, that's all from me, Kemal Palevi. Thank you.
Thank you, you all who'd been to reject me.
Hopefully, you'll be sorry for rejecting me.
But now
I want to brag a little bit.
Because the girl I've been dreaming of all this time
has become my girlfriend.
Thanks to restlessness you've made, girls who rejected me.
I now present you, my dearest girlfriend
Honey, come here, hon.
Okay, okay.
Yeah.
See? Finally
the girl whom I've been dreaming of since high school
and college, finally has become my girlfriend now.
I'm Kemal Palevi
and Luna Maya, see you
You forgot?
I'm Kemal Palevi and Luna Palevi, thank you.
See you at the next movies.
Far or near
No matter who, come over here
Tell me what's in your heart
No recognition no love, no recognition no love
Where's my money?
It's been transferred already, hasn't it?
Are you stupid?
I said cash and carry!
What account number ...?
Y ou use ' w; um; m; mg' d“?
So smelly!
- A little bit. - Now look.
What kind of artist do you think I am?
You know what, I don't like being toyed like this!
You know who I am. I'm busy, you know?
You've taken away my time for pilates
gym, manicuring and pedicuring!
What kind of artist do you think I am?
I haven't been in a movie for three years, dude!
Are you nuts, you only hired me for a cameo?
I told you, cash and carry!
Hey, Luna, Luna!
I'll make you a movie!
No Luna No Love!
No recognition no love, no recognition no love
Want to be a free man
Want to make people happy
So stay young, have no problem
Always be loved
Want to be a free man
Want to make people happy
So stay young, have no problem
Always be loved
No recognition no love, no recognition no love
Want to be a free man
Want to make people happy
So stay young, have no problem
Always be loved
Want to be a free man
Want to make people happy
So stay young, have no problem
Always be loved
Want to be a free man
Want to make people happy
So stay young, have no problem
Always be loved
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