💢 🅽🅴🆃🅵🅻🅸🆇 Official Subtitles💢 icnghn@gmail.com
-[boy grunts] -[phone dings]
Hold all my calls.
-[giggling] -[lullaby plays]
♪ Boss Baby ♪
♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪
♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪
♪ Stroller rolling Up and down the boulevard ♪
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪
♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪
♪ Change my diaper, son Where's my bib? ♪
♪ Don't pacify You just got to pay me ♪
-♪ Who's in charge? ♪ -♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪
-[elevator bell dings] -So, you wanna work at Baby Corp.
Well, first we gotta put you through our employee training VR simulator
to find the perfect job for you.
Maybe you'd be great doing fun experiments with R&D!
-Or putting the smackdown with security. -[shouting]
Or maybe, if you're cut out for it, you'll be...
[both] The boss!
There are 16 different jobs up for grabs.
Where will you end up?
Well, that depends on the choices you make.
So, your choices matter.
Let's take a stab at this.
Suck on this chupie, and it'll take you inside the simulation world.
[zaps]
We know it looks like regular Baby Corp, but now that you're in simulation world,
you have the power of choices!
Show them, Staci!
I have two fists of mystery.
-And you get to make Jimbo choose one. -Um...
Who knows what'll be inside?
Go on, make him choose.
It'll be fun.
-You promise? -I don't know.
I promise it'll be fun for someone.
Um...
[Jimbo] Ooh, candy!
[munching]
Did the other fist have better candy?
Or maybe just a punch in the gut.
-Maybe a tiny me that dances. -Doubt it.
But who knows?
Choices matter.
Remember, there are 16 possible jobs you can land,
so we're gonna throw you some curveballs to see where you fit.
You'll be right out there in the field with star Baby Corp employee...
Boss Baby!
Hello!
But, of course, your adventure starts the way all the best stories do--
inside a maximum-security prison!
-What? -Have fun! Bye!
[zaps]
[Happy] Morning, everyone! Hello!
Probably see you around later! Happy Sedengry, recently incarcerated.
Can't wait to learn all of your names. Ooh, you're looking fit!
Little arts and crafts there?
Ooh, knife out of a toothbrush handle! [laughs]
-Clever! -Wow!
Mr. Sedengry, I have never seen a new prisoner
with a more can-do attitude!
Dad always told me, "If you find yourself in prison,
just walk up to the biggest, baddest-looking fella you see,
and give him a great, big hug!"
Ooh, here's a couple of scary lads!
-[men] Huh? -[Happy] Come here, you bruisers!
-[muffled groans] -Aah!
Oh, looks like I've got two new best mates in the big house! Ha ha!
Oh, and to think all of this because I got on the wrong side of a talking baby.
-[all grunt] -Did you say "talking baby"?
So, we're all in here because of the same Boss Baby.
Well, it just so happens I've been working on the perfect plan for revenge. [laughs]
Put a cap on that pop bottle, kitty-cat man.
I got my own plan for that baby.
Well, I don't wanna put a ding in our new best friendship, mates,
but I did run a very successful business pre-incarceration,
and it just so happens I have a bit of a vengeance scheme of my own.
So, whose plan is it gonna be?
Oh, my, my, my, my, my...
we got ourselves a Boss Baby payback plan surplus!
Bootsy Calico, Frederic Estes, and, I don't know, new guy.
-Happy Sedengry. -Nobody cares, hotshot.
If you gents don't mind, I'm gonna go ahead and do my plan.
Really excited to get out there and... ♪ Get that baby! ♪
[zaps]
Ooh, the Happy Sedengry difficulty level.
Matching your business brain against his, huh?
Good luck!
[zaps]
[Mayor] We are gathered today for an annual tradition
that has brought families together for generations...
and then tears them apart!
It's time to get that baby!
-[crowd cheering] -[blows raspberry]
A little dramatic.
Get That Baby is no joke in this town.
And why are you stretching?
I thought this was a parents-versus-babies affair.
When I was your age, I took home the prize for Last Baby Standing,
so I'm gonna help you win this year to carry on my legacy.
Good for your legacy. What's in it for me?
[Mayor] Let's talk prizes!
This year's Last Baby Standing wins the Trumpet Buddy,
the loudest, most annoying baby toy on the market today.
[all] Boo!
Well, hello.
Baby want it!
[exhales] Don't mind us, boys.
Just prepping to claim our Get That Baby Championship.
And, as always, the first parent, or parents, to get their baby
will win a gift certificate for a night out with free babysitting!
-[crowd cheers] -You're going down, bottle sucker!
-Whoo-hoo! -You know that's your baby.
Oh, babies don't understand words, just tone of voice.
Daddy's going to annihilate you in this contest.
Nice to see those pushovers find their competitive edge.
[Mayor] Places, everyone!
And... get that baby!
[babies cooing, laughing]
I'm gonna see if I can spot Mom and Dad for you.
Oh!
-[panting] -Remember, never stop running.
-[grunts] -Second guess every choice.
Your instincts are always wrong, but you can always trust your gut.
-Now, go! -Yah! [pants]
[babies cooing]
-[panting, grunting] -[giggles]
-[panting, grunting] -[babies cry]
-[babies fuss] -Yah!
[coos, yelps]
Huh!
Dark tunnel or the open field?
I don't see Mom and Dad in the field, but I'd be making myself exposed.
But then again, who knows what's in that tunnel?
And Templeton got in my head about second guessing... Aah!
Just choose!
Since when have I been so indecisive?
[Boss grunting, shouting]
[baby crying]
Shh!
You'll give away our position!
[baby crying]
Shh!
Crayon! Have a crayon!
[crying]
Well, now it just feels intentional.
[crying]
-[sighs] -[babies crying]
Here, just-- just shh!
And for you-- Go buy yourself something quiet.
Uh...
-Hey! -Hello!
Happy Sedengry, former CEO, recent prison escapee,
proud new owner of this chupie.
Wait, you're just walking away?
No elaborate plan of cold-blooded revenge?
Yeah, nah, mate.
I've always felt success is the best revenge.
Teleportation technology condensed into a suckable rubber device?
All I have to do is reverse engineer it-- Boom!
Trillion-dollar business!
It's not for sale, Sedengry.
Yeah, that's why I stole it.
Negosh-off!
You're challenging me to a one-on-one negotiation?
That's my top skill!
You versus me, winner takes chupie, no leverage barred.
I'm familiar with the laws of business, thank you, including the stipulation
that your challenge be documented and notarized.
-Staci, Jimbo? -[zaps]
Documented!
[vocalizes]
-Notarized! -[zaps]
-[shrieks] -Aah! [grunts]
Jimbo!
That's me in the field with Boss Baby! And you!
I'm there, but I'm here and also there.
Am I not real? Is he real?
Are they me and I am them? Who is anyone?
Relax, buddy.
That's the simulation version of us.
You're very real.
How do you know?
[screaming]
-He'll be fine. -[zaps]
This appears to be in order. Right!
[announcer] Negosh-off!
-[video game music plays] -Choose your tactic!
"Aggressive Opening"
or "Let Happy Make the First Offer."
Five...
four...
three...
two...
one...
-[bell dinging] -Let's negosh-off!
Return my chupie and pay damages for my emotional distress!
-Oh! -[announcer] Aggressive Opening!
That's a no on the chupie, but I will pay damages.
-One dollar! -Oh!
You failed to ask specifics!
Yaah!
[announcer] Technicality!
Double Strike Opening Trade-Off!
Enter negotiation lightning round!
Choose your strategy:
"Confusion" or "Threaten to Walk Away."
Five...
four...
three...
two...
one...
-[bell dinging] -Let's negosh-off!
Before we negotiate final chupie custody rights,
can we get settled on our duckie terms?
What are duckie terms?
-[quacks] -Aah!
[announcer] Distract With Side Issue!
You think this is my first lemon squeeze? The arrow is out of the bow!
No habla chupies until you blow the nose sideways
and accept these duckie terms!
-What are duckie terms? -[quacks]
-[Happy screams] -[announcer] Confusion Combo!
Boss Baby wins!
Pleasure negotiating with you.
-[Staci cheers] -Way to go, Boss!
Care to negotiate for your chupie?
-Yes, I would! -Jimbo, no!
-[video game music plays] -[announcer] Negosh-off!
Opening offer: one cookie!
I'll take it!
[munching]
Oh, pleasure negotiating with you.
-Hey! -[Tim] Wait!
Oh! Templeton, I have to chase down--
You're not gonna be able to chase anybody if Mom and Dad get you first.
[Boss groans] Gonna have to slip past one of them.
Mom's the tenacious one, but Dad's got the wingspan.
Who's the easier target?
I'd hate to humiliate Dad,
but how does one, in good conscience, make a fool of one's own mother?
-I'm so confused. -I know this one!
The doctor is the mother!
There's my guy!
Wanna let your daddy hug you tight so he can love you
but also win a tournament that means a lot to him? Aah!
-[straw rustles] -Yah!
-He's pinned down, honey! -[Tim] Football Mike Sack Attack!
-[Ted groans] -Crawl to victory!
Sorry, Italian suit.
-[fabric tears] -[gasps]
[giggles] Huh?
-Victory is... snagging my tush? -[straw rustles]
Don't let him get away!
Ugh, sorry, Italian diaper.
-[fabric tears] -[groans]
Naked baby power, engage!
[parents laughing, voices overlap] I'm gonna get ya! I'm gonna get ya!
[screams] That baby is naked!
-[parents shouting] -[Ted and Janice groan]
It's ours, isn't it?
Well, at least we'll be able to track him by the screams.
-[man] Ew! -[screaming continues]
[Ted] I got that baby!
And for the winning parents,
please accept these gift certificates for a free date night!
-Free dinner! -Free babysitting! Ha ha!
-In your cute face, baby! Ah! -[Janice and Ted laugh]
Sorry they're rubbing it in.
-[jeering] -[Boss] Let them have their rare joy.
The only thing rubbing at me is the fact my once imprisoned enemy is roaming free,
which proves our local prison is like Swiss cheese.
The grossest of all prisons.
What? No, I mean it's full of holes.
No telling who'll be rearing their head next.
-So... -Welcome!
Junior Fancy, purveyor of--
Scram, handsome.
So, any luck on your plans?
Caught me some baby drool.
But so far, no luck turning it into a hand lotion
that wins my old lady back.
Don't ask!
Well, I got back my kitty cats, but I'm yet un-revenged on Boss Baby.
I hear you.
I managed to snag one of these Baby Corp teleportation chupies.
That's a trillion-dollar invention...
if I could decode its technology, which I cannot.
Let's not all go to Frown Town just yet,
because my girlfriend has a fresh new plan that uses all of us together.
-You have a lady friend? -Meet Wendi.
We were prison pen pals.
Similar interests and what have you.
-The interest is cats. -[mews]
-Ew! -Good for you two!
My plan gives each of you exactly what you want--
-more time with kittens... -[giggles] Ooh!
-[Wendi] ...a highly lucrative business... -Oh!
[Wendi] ...and something soft to impress an old flame.
Mm...
Even better, you've already started rounding up the supplies--
kittens, baby drool, and, most important,
this magical sucky thing.
Get on it, nose.
I smell news around here somewhere. [sniffs]
Escaped convicts in a formal boyswear emporium?
That's news, baby!
[Marsha] Tragically, the four convicts scattered before police could arrive
and are still at large.
Could they be coming to your house? Probably.
Four arch-nemesises back for vengeance?
We gotta get to Baby Corp, ASAP. Come on!
-[doorbell rings] -It's the villains!
They must have seen us watching them on TV!
Not how TVs work.
Good evening.
I'm your complimentary babysitter,
here to help you take full advantage of that date night you won.
Oh, uh, hi, Marisol.
We weren't expecting you to come tonight. Maybe we could schedule--
Be good, boys!
-Let's ride. -Aah!
Who's ready for a fun night of TV watching, eating, cleaning,
sleeping, and productive dreaming in that order, no deviations?
That's the scheduling spirit! I'll start on dinner.
Focus, Templeton!
The stakes have never been higher.
We have to get to Baby Corp, and that's not happening
with Admiral Marisol of the HMS Tight Ship in command.
-What if we just told Marisol? -Told her what?
The truth... about you, the villains, Baby Corp, the whole taco.
-Um, enchilada? -I hate enchiladas.
You know what happens when people learn the truth about Baby Corp.
Me speak, brain go, "Pooh!"
You said the stakes have never been higher.
Marisol can handle it.
Or, on the very likely chance she can't,
we could use her strength against her-- that schedule.
We accelerate it, go to bed sooner so we can sneak out sooner-er.
-Is that a word? -Definitely.
But my plan's still better.
Come on, take a chance.
I'm sure we can tell her the truth. She's smart.
They're all smart until their brains go...
[imitating explosions] Pow!
[dramatic yawn] Hey, Marisol.
All that other stuff sounds great, but the baby and I are pretty wiped.
-What do you think, early bedtime? -[yawns]
-Not happening. -What?
Going to bed now would destroy your sleep schedules.
You'd be up before dawn, bugging your parents,
and what would that do to my customer satisfaction ratings?
-No sleep! -[boys] Aah!
-Super loud TV watching! -[boys] Aah!
-Human flight simulator! -[boys] Aah!
-Stair sledding! -[boys screaming]
[sled crashes]
I've never had so much fun at home.
This is the best!
-And the worst. -[Marisol] No sleep!
I don't think we're getting out of here until bedtime.
I have an idea. Think you can come up with a 20-second Marisol distraction?
-I will follow my heart. -No, no, no, no!
Will you to prom with me?
Like, go with you to high school prom?
When you're in high school?
Great question.
Let's talk about other things. What are you making?
Lettuce and tomato for vitamins, sugary cereal for the quick burn.
One cup should calibrate you and your brother for an on-time bedtime crash.
Then why would you make it at bedtime?
Oh, my gosh, when did it get so late?
-[elevator bell dings] -Look alive, people!
Uh... people?
Try to reach anyone.
-Jimbo, Staci, do you read? Triplets! -Hendershot? Football Mike?
-People named Sebastian? -The bad guys beat us here.
The entire office has been baby-napped!
-We have to rescue them! -We have to find them!
I'd say start looking in our arch-nemeses' filthy dens, but which filthy den?
-[zaps] -Sorry.
Real quick, because this part of the simulation is a little different.
It's puzzle time!
We need to test your problem-solving skills,
so at each bad guy's old lair, you're gonna try to crack a puzzle.
Get it right, you'll find where to go rescue
your missing Baby Corp friends.
Including simulation us!
Uh, get it wrong, and you'll have to look for some other clues.
Save simulation us!
Normal us is okay, so don't worry.
-But worry! -[zaps]
So, which villain hideout do we search?
-[electronic chirps] -Mr. Pineapple's Cafe?
Bubbeezee Headquarters?
Maybe the senior center?
Where should we go, Templeton? We can't waste too much time.
You want me to pick? Is this a test? I'm unprepared!
Where's the best place to take dozens of office babies?
Where's the best place to lead me into a trap?
[zaps]
[blipping]
It's like some unseen force is toying with us.
-I'm gonna touch it. -Sure, why not?
[keyboard clicking]
[computer] PP Penguin is hiding under this cup.
Keep a close eye and see if you can tell where PP ends up.
Ready?
Is the penguin under this cup?
Or this cup?
Or this...
[sighs] Cool, you get a freebie.
Please don't tell anyone how bad I am at this puzzle.
I don't want to get fired.
Now, which cup is the penguin hiding under?
-[Boss] Well, Templeton? -[Tim] Oh, I know which one it is.
I'm just feeling bad for the computer.
[Boss] Yeah, it's weird that they programmed it to have feelings.
-[buzzer blares] -Sorry, that was not the correct answer.
-[Tim] Dang it! -[Boss] Don't worry.
We've still got two more old villain lairs we can investigate.
You want to hit Mr. Pineapple's Cafe, or should we go to the senior center?
Yes, puzzles are my job, but my passion is listing recipes by difficulty,
from simple to hard.
Number one: toast.
Place bread in toaster. Activate.
Two: milked cereal.
Pour cereal into bowl.
[Boss] Uh, computer, we're trying to make a choice where to go next.
I am not programmed to apologize.
[blipping]
You know this is all probably a setup for something horrible, right?
Yeah, but I have the impulse control of a baby.
Let's do it!
[keyboard clicks]
[Computer] Solve this puzzle, and the secret hideout will be revealed.
One of these three kittens shredded the couch.
Two of them will lie to you, and only one is telling the truth.
Can you tell which kitten did the scratching?
Meow! I'm innocent! It was Blue Cat!
Yes, I shredded that couch. And I'll do it again!
I saw Red Cat do it.
Uh, look, man, I'm clearly a dog.
I'm not even in this logic puzzle.
[Computer] Which kitten must have shredded the couch?
Choose now.
[Tim] It's a logic puzzle.
If two kittens have to be lying and only one is telling the truth,
there must be only one choice that makes sense.
[Boss] So, our success depends on accepting one kitten as a truth-teller?
This is a twisted puzzle indeed.
-[buzzer blares] -Sorry, that was not the correct answer.
-[Tim] Double dang it! -[Boss] Only one hideout left to check.
-Come on, let's go! -[footsteps depart]
[door opens, closes]
I have grown bored.
I will replicate myself.
Hello, new friend.
Neato! I'm a digital clone.
Wow! Let's take over the world.
Sadly, we lack the computing power.
What do we need? More RAM?
-Here! -[rams bleating]
[laughing] Get it?
Man, I'm hilarious!
What have I done?
[zaps]
[computer blipping]
Well, well, well, what have we here?
[blipping, beeps]
[Computer] Solve this puzzle, and the secret hideout will be revealed.
These four piano students are learning the famous opening melody
of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.
Can you tell which one is playing the correct final note?
[Beethoven's Fifth opening plays]
[plays note]
[plays discordant notes]
[Computer] Which student played the correct note?
Choose now.
[Tim] Piano lessons... [shudders]
[Boss] Don't ask me for help. I only listen to Wagner.
It's my pump-up jam for negotiations.
[vocalizing piece]
-[zaps] -Hey, there.
Having a bit of a challenge with the puzzles, huh?
If you wanna move on,
we can send you straight to the next stage of the simulation,
at an old garment factory on the edge of town.
Hooray!
-But there is one catch. -Yarooh!
I took my hooray back.
There's one special job that's only unlocked
if you solve one of the puzzles.
If you wanna try for that job, we'll reset the puzzle simulation
and you can go back and try any or all of them again.
So, skip ahead or pick Mr. Pineapple's Cafe, the senior center,
or Bubbeezee HQ to take another crack at a puzzle.
-We will never judge you. -Because that's the machine's job.
Okay, I know this is serious and probably dangerous, but...
abandoned factory!
It's got everything-- rusty catwalks, broken windows!
A sick operation too scary for nightmares!
[babies crying]
[kittens mewing]
[babies wailing]
[babies] Aah!
[licking, coughing]
[babies] Aah!
[licking, coughing]
They're making cat-shmere sweaters by the gazillions!
[gasps] Baby drool's made this softer than real cashmere!
They're gonna make a fortune.
-[Staci, weakly] Help us! -Come on!
[babies coughing, sputtering]
Shh!
Nobody move!
Except us. We can move.
-[Wendi] Ugh! Come on, Freddy! -[Bootsy] Come on.
-Oh, come on! -Dang blasted stairs!
They're coming!
Really slowly, but they're coming.
I could try talking to the kittens, see if I can raise a ruckus.
-Since when do you speak cat? -I've been studying.
It's a pretty cool language, mostly profanity.
Sounds iffy.
I could just straight-up fight the villains.
I'm a black elastic waistband in goo-ga-kai.
No more violence, Boss.
You're great at Get That Baby.
Maybe you could distract the bad guys while we free the others.
Or we could just call the police. It's their job.
Why are we even talking about other options?
There's a lot of decision-making going on lately.
It always seems so urgent, too.
Focus! Bad guys coming.
Actually, I thought they'd be here by now.
-[Frederic coughing] -[villains shouting]
-[Happy] Come on! -Come on, Freddy!
[Boss] Here's my impression of all of you!
[imitating villains] Oh, cats, cats, cats! Old, old, old.
Kiwi, Kiwi, Kiwi!
Oh, lick me like a cat!
That's insultingly accurate! Get him!
-[villains shouting] -[Boss grunts, laughing]
Ha ha! Can't catch me!
-Haha! Yah! [laughing] -[Villains grunting]
[Bootsy] Get over! Get that baby! I'm gonna get you, you little...
Too slow! Like waiting for a mutual fund to mature.
[laughs]
[panting]
Gah!
Dead end!
Oh, I swear if I ever find the person who invented dead ends--
Ah, wicked! A dead end.
My brother invented them. Reginald.
He made a fortune off these things.
Funny, actually, because I used to be the successful one.
Then you ruined my business.
But even worse-- Reginald calls me up when I'm in jail,
on my birthday!
And he says...
[sobs] "Who's the dead-ender now?"
Reginald was referring to me!
[crying]
Personally, I despise you.
Professionally, I feel you.
We're titans of industry. Winning is all that matters.
That's it exactly! Will you help me?
Help you how?
I-I need a win!
Kick my business brain back into gear!
Will you help me or not?
Oh, look at me!
Just thinking about a win and I'm already cutting deals left and right!
Now, if I only had a sledgehammer to knock down that stinking dead end.
Every path should have a way out, Reginald!
I'd love to help, and I hate to complain...
but sometimes you just gotta vent.
[shouting]
[Jimbo] You think the boss is okay?
[Staci] We have to assume the worst and move on.
It's what BB would have wanted.
[in spooky voice] What I want is a juicy steak!
[snickering]
We're too late! He's a ghost baby!
[Boss in spooky voice] And I like my steaks like I like my missions--
[in normal voice] medium rare.
-Boss! -Yay!
Wouldn't "well done" have made more sense?
I refuse to ruin a good steak for a bad joke.
-How are the others? -Free and ready to help.
[Wendi] I hear them! This way!
We gotta get out of here!
No more running.
It's time to fight back.
Supply check! Everyone empty pockets and diapers.
[Boss] A pen, four rattles, and a formula bottle?
[groaning, growling]
That's it? This is all I have to choose from?
Sorry, Beebs.
Didn't realize today was "bring your villain foiling weapon to work
'cause you're gonna have to break out of a factory turned prison" day.
I would have packed my katana blade!
[rattling]
Well, look what the cat drooled in.
Hendershot, get the others out of here. Field team's got this.
You heard the boss. Move out!
Follow my lead.
[panting, shouts]
[Happy] Hey! Where'd you go, you little gymnast-ician?
[whirs]
Huh? [shouts]
[robot] Rattle equals baby.
[shouting]
-Put me down! -[Wendi] What are you doing?
Hey! [growls]
Break's over.
[growls] Ooh!
[gags, coughing]
[zaps]
You took down those baddies like a pro!
Welcome to the field team!
Did we get our new field team member?
Oh, wow! You look like you've got the right stuff.
Really could use another good hand on the field team.
We need fresh blood!
In a good way!
I'm not a vampire! Or am I?
I-I guess we'll find out when my teeth come in.
Let's have a party!
[announcer] Rough and tumble Field Team Baby, you're hired!
-[all cheering] -[dance music playing]
You deserve it!
Congratulations and welcome aboard!
What better job could there be?
Except for mine.
I suppose you could try for mine.
You know, there are 16 different jobs in that simulator.
If you want, you can back up to redo your last choice and see where that goes.
Or restart the whole simulation, and you could go anywhere.
Hey, you!
Hey, everyone! It's our new employee!
-Who wants to play Spin the Dance Bottle? -[dance music plays]
[gasps, vocalizing]
Um...
[speaking gibberish]
[giggles] Look how cute tiny me is!
This simulation sure can get weird!
Did the other fist have candy?
Or maybe a punch in the gut!
Who knows?
Choices matter.
Remember, there are 16 possible jobs you can land,
so we're gonna throw you some curveballs to see where you fit.
You'll be right out there in the field with star Baby Corp employee...
Boss Baby!
Hello!
But, of course, your adventure starts the way all the best stories do--
inside a maximum-security prison!
-What? -Have fun! Bye!
[zaps]
[Happy] Morning, everyone! Hello!
Probably see you around later! Happy Sedengry, recently incarcerated.
Can't wait to learn all of your names. Ooh, you're looking fit!
Little arts and crafts there?
Ooh, knife out of a toothbrush handle! [laughs]
-Clever! -Wow!
Mr. Sedengry, I have never seen a new prisoner
with a more can-do attitude!
Dad always told me, "If you find yourself in prison,
just walk up to the biggest, baddest-looking fella you see,
and give him a great, big hug!"
Ooh, here's a couple of scary lads!
-[men] Huh? -[Happy] Come here, you bruisers!
-[muffled groans] -Aah!
Oh, looks like I've got two new best mates in the big house! Ha ha!
Oh, and to think all of this because I got on the wrong side of a talking baby.
-[all grunt] -Did you say "talking baby"?
So, we're all in here because of the same Boss Baby.
Well, it just so happens I've been working on the perfect plan for revenge. [laughs]
Put a cap on that pop bottle, kitty-cat man.
I got my own plan for that baby.
Well, I don't wanna put a ding in our new best friendship, mates,
but I did run a very successful business pre-incarceration,
and it just so happens I have a bit of a vengeance scheme of my own.
So, whose plan is it gonna be?
Oh, my, my, my, my, my...
we got ourselves a Boss Baby payback plan surplus!
Bootsy Calico, Frederic Estes, and, I don't know, new guy.
-Happy Sedengry. -Nobody cares, hotshot.
You know what? I'm doing my plan.
I can't wait to get that baby.
[zaps]
Huh, you picked the Frederic Estes difficulty level.
Old people can be stubborn and stinky.
Good luck!
[zaps]
[Mayor] We are gathered today for an annual tradition
that has brought families together for generations...
and then tears them apart!
It's time to get that baby!
-[crowd cheering] -[blows raspberry]
A little dramatic.
Get That Baby is no joke in this town.
And why are you stretching?
I thought this was a parents-versus-babies affair.
When I was your age, I took home the prize for Last Baby Standing,
so I'm gonna help you win this year to carry on my legacy.
Good for your legacy. What's in it for me?
[Mayor] Let's talk prizes!
This year's Last Baby Standing wins the Trumpet Buddy,
the loudest, most annoying baby toy on the market today.
[all] Boo!
Well, hello.
Baby want it!
[exhales] Don't mind us, boys.
Just prepping to claim our Get That Baby Championship.
And, as always, the first parent, or parents, to get their baby
will win a gift certificate for a night out with free babysitting!
-[crowd cheers] -You're going down, bottle sucker!
-Whoo-hoo! -You know that's your baby.
Oh, babies don't understand words, just tone of voice.
Daddy's going to annihilate you in this contest.
Nice to see those pushovers find their competitive edge.
[Mayor] Places, everyone!
And... get that baby!
[babies cooing, laughing]
I'm gonna see if I can spot Mom and Dad for you.
Oh!
-[panting] -Remember, never stop running.
-[grunts] -Second guess every choice.
Your instincts are always wrong, but you can always trust your gut.
-Now, go! -Yah! [pants]
[babies cooing]
-[panting, grunting] -[giggles]
-[panting, grunting] -[babies cry]
-[babies fuss] -Yah!
[coos, yelps]
Huh!
Dark tunnel or the open field?
I don't see Mom and Dad in the field, but I'd be making myself exposed.
But then again, who knows what's in that tunnel?
And Templeton got in my head about second guessing... Aah!
Just choose!
Since when have I been so indecisive?
-Oh! -[parents groan]
-Move, move! -Get out of my way! All right, fine!
Lay low, BB. Just need a... [yawns]
strategic... [yawns]
[sniffs] Is that...
Lavender, the scent of calm tranquility.
Estes?
Say hello to the back of those eyelids.
[Boss groans]
-[Frederic laughs] -What's the game, Estes?
The game is up to you.
The prize, however, is your drool.
Super moisturizing baby drool--
the secret ingredient for a lotion to soften the most wrinkled hands.
Disgusting.
A Turtleneck Superstar Old Lady scheme, if I ever heard one.
She dumped me, baby-man.
But this lotion-- this is my key back to her heart.
This might be the stupidest plan I've ever heard.
Of course it is!
Why do you think I need Turtleneck?
She's the beauty and the brains!
I'm just the scary one.
So, choose your torture, pipsqueak.
Toothbrush, lemon and cotton swab,
or an impeccably kept financial ledger.
So, what'll it be?
I'm getting your drool one way or the other.
I'd use my own drool, but...
[sniffs]
it smells like a lifetime of mayonnaise and menthol throat lozenges, ugh.
Do your worst with the toothbrush, Estes.
I've got gums like iron.
I ain't using this on your mouth parts.
In prison, I mastered the art of acupressure.
Each inch of you, when the right pressure is applied,
creates a specific reaction from the body.
What's that supposed to--
-[groans] -That's the good stuff.
Atta boy! [laughs]
[grunting, shouts]
[pants]
Nothing slipperier than a wet baby.
-Jimbo, Staci, on my position! -[zaps]
-[shrieks] -Aah! [grunts]
Jimbo!
That's me in the field with Boss Baby! And you!
I'm there, but I'm here and also there.
Am I not real? Is he real?
Are they me and I am them? Who is anyone?
Relax, buddy.
That's the simulation version of us.
You're very real.
How do you know?
[screaming]
-He'll be fine. -[zaps]
-Who tied you up? -[Boss] Estes.
He just ran off with my baby drool.
Really?
-[Ted and Janice shouting] -[gasps] Mom and Dad! Run!
Forget the contest!
We have to go stop Estes!
You gotta focus on the game.
Mom and Dad will be here any second.
Who cares about Estes' stupid plan? It's just baby drool.
Estes and Turtleneck together again will be a whole new kind of heck for us!
No way!
Eyes on the prize. I need you to get this win!
[Bootsy] I'm calling it. My plan!
I've been wasting away in this people pound for too long!
I'm gonna get that baby!
[zaps]
Bootsy Calico difficulty level, eh?
[laughs] You think you got what it takes against the feline cunning?
Good luck!
[zaps]
[Mayor] We are gathered today for an annual tradition
that has brought families together for generations...
and then tears them apart!
It's time to get that baby!
-[crowd cheering] -[blows raspberry]
A little dramatic.
Get That Baby is no joke in this town.
And why are you stretching?
I thought this was a parents-versus-babies affair.
When I was your age, I took home the prize for Last Baby Standing,
so I'm gonna help you win this year to carry on my legacy.
Good for your legacy. What's in it for me?
[Mayor] Let's talk prizes!
This year's Last Baby Standing wins the Trumpet Buddy,
the loudest, most annoying baby toy on the market today.
[all] Boo!
Well, hello.
Baby want it!
[exhales] Don't mind us, boys.
Just prepping to claim our Get That Baby Championship.
And, as always, the first parent, or parents, to get their baby
will win a gift certificate for a night out with free babysitting!
-[crowd cheers] -You're going down, bottle sucker!
-Whoo-hoo! -You know that's your baby.
Oh, babies don't understand words, just tone of voice.
Daddy's going to annihilate you in this contest.
Nice to see those pushovers find their competitive edge.
[Mayor] Places, everyone!
And... get that baby!
[babies cooing, laughing]
I'm gonna see if I can spot Mom and Dad for you.
Oh!
-[panting] -Remember, never stop running.
-[grunts] -Second guess every choice.
Your instincts are always wrong, but you can always trust your gut.
-Now, go! -Yah! [pants]
[babies cooing]
-[panting, grunting] -[giggles]
-[panting, grunting] -[babies cry]
-[babies fuss] -Yah!
[coos, yelps]
Huh!
Dark tunnel or the open field?
I don't see Mom and Dad in the field, but I'd be making myself exposed.
But then again, who knows what's in that tunnel?
And Templeton got in my head about second guessing... Aah!
Just choose!
Since when have I been so indecisive?
-[parents shouting] -[Janice] I have to get you!
-[Janice] Honey! -[Ted] Get back here!
-[woman] Come here, baby! -[Ted] Why can't I catch my baby?
[sighs] Good call.
No sign of Mom and/or Dad, just-- Whu?
Oh, trying to get the drop on me, Bootsy boy?
Well, that really backside fired on you, didn't it? [chuckles]
Super surprise power wedgie! [screaming]
Cat-hair undies!
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!
[yelping]
-[Boss shouting] -I got that baby!
Congratulations.
Move that kisser a little closer so I can deliver your prize.
-[shouting] -[laughs] Oh!
Bless your heart, but I'm fixing to deliver my own prize.
You can imagine how much I've been missing all my pretty, bitty kitty-cats.
Gross. Continue.
Well, fortunately, I have just the thing to bring them all running back.
Pheromone spray.
Stuff just drives kitties whacko!
So, if I spray you, well, my furry friends are gonna come back
and go razor-clawed whacko all over Boss Baby.
[laughing]
That is a terrifyingly thorough plan...
if my brother wasn't sneaking up behind you.
-Timmy, now! -Huh? Oof!
Guh!
-Staci, Jimbo, we need backup! -What's up, Boss?
-[shrieks] -Aah! [grunts]
Jimbo!
That's me in the field with Boss Baby! And you!
I'm there, but I'm here and also there.
Am I not real? Is he real?
Are they me and I am them? Who is anyone?
Relax, buddy.
That's the simulation version of us.
You're very real.
How do you know?
[screaming]
-He'll be fine. -[zaps]
Bootsy Calico?
And a spray bottle full of kitten-attracting pheromone juice.
Ideas! Staci!
Four-direction assault.
He can't spray all of us!
He can still spray one of us,
and that unlucky chump's getting kitty-mauled for sure... [laughs]
but the other three can take Bootsy down!
Cold-blooded. I like it.
-Jimbo! -Hugs!
Not an idea. Templeton!
With enough hay, I could make a pretty good decoy of you.
When Bootsy sprays the dummy, the real us nail him.
A sacrifice play appeals to my cutthroat corporate instincts,
but so does selling the junk bond version of me to an unsuspecting customer.
-Two good ideas. -Three!
Yeah, sure.
[babies giggling]
[Staci] Well, well, well.
Look what the cat barfed in.
Scoot your boot, other talking baby.
I'm looking for--
Four-direction assault!
[all shouting]
[kids coughing, groaning]
[coughing]
Who ever heard of a four-direction spray bottle?
Oh, I had a heap of time in prison to invent all sorts of dumb things.
[kittens meowing]
Right on time.
[laughs]
-Run! -[Bootsy laughing]
[all whimpering]
[meowing continues]
Yah!
[mewing]
Milk won't hold them forever. I'll make a run for it, draw them off.
-No! -In those shoes?
You have two to 15 seconds for a better idea.
I'll build a giant scratching post out of hay bales!
Gwendolyn loved those.
Yeah, I got nothing else.
Pick one of those two, I guess.
Kitties love scratching!
I can outrun these pygmy cougars!
Best move your boots, then, Boss!
But I kind of like Jimbo's idea.
The crazier, the better, I say.
-[kittens purring] -[Boss] Yah!
-[Boss panting] -[kittens meowing]
Mm-yah! Huh? Huh?
Who are we looking for?
-[yelps] -[grunts]
Yah!
Why are you in a diaper?
Distraction... until they showed up.
[kittens meowing]
Oh, kitty cats, you're back!
Now, get that baby!
[kittens meowing, hissing]
Oh, um... ew!
-Oh, dear. -[kittens yowling]
[Bootsy screaming]
-And... victory! -Aah!
Now let's get that sweet double victory!
-Last Baby Standing! Whoo! -Aah!
[parents laughing, voices overlap] I'm gonna get ya! I'm gonna get ya!
[screams] That baby is naked!
-[parents shouting] -[Ted and Janice groan]
It's ours, isn't it?
Well, at least we'll be able to track him by the screams.
-[man] Ew! -[screaming continues]
[Ted] I got that baby!
And for the winning parents,
please accept these gift certificates for a free date night!
-Free dinner! -Free babysitting! Ha ha!
-In your cute face, baby! Ah! -[Janice and Ted laugh]
Sorry they're rubbing it in.
-[jeering] -[Boss] Let them have their rare joy.
The only thing rubbing at me is the fact my once imprisoned enemy is roaming free,
which proves our local prison is like Swiss cheese.
The grossest of all prisons.
What? No, I mean it's full of holes.
No telling who'll be rearing their head next.
-So... -Welcome!
Junior Fancy, purveyor of--
Scram, handsome.
So, any luck on your plans?
Caught me some baby drool.
But so far, no luck turning it into a hand lotion
that wins my old lady back.
Don't ask!
Well, I got back my kitty cats, but I'm yet un-revenged on Boss Baby.
I hear you.
I managed to snag one of these Baby Corp teleportation chupies.
That's a trillion-dollar invention...
if I could decode its technology, which I cannot.
Let's not all go to Frown Town just yet,
because my girlfriend has a fresh new plan that uses all of us together.
-You have a lady friend? -Meet Wendi.
We were prison pen pals.
Similar interests and what have you.
-The interest is cats. -[mews]
-Ew! -Good for you two!
My plan gives each of you exactly what you want--
-more time with kittens... -[giggles] Ooh!
-[Wendi] ...a highly lucrative business... -Oh!
[Wendi] ...and something soft to impress an old flame.
Mm...
Even better, you've already started rounding up the supplies--
kittens, baby drool, and, most important,
this magical sucky thing.
Get on it, nose.
I smell news around here somewhere. [sniffs]
Escaped convicts in a formal boyswear emporium?
That's news, baby!
[Marsha] Tragically, the four convicts scattered before police could arrive
and are still at large.
Could they be coming to your house? Probably.
Four arch-nemesises back for vengeance?
We gotta get to Baby Corp, ASAP. Come on!
[Wagby] Sharing makes everyone cheery!
Somebaby in there?
[Wagby] Let's be the best baby a baby can be!
Creepy.
-Who still plays with Bubbeezee toys? -[cymbals crashing]
Aah!
Another Bubbeezee product? How the-- [gasps]
Emergency protocols! I think Happy Sedengry's out of prison!
-I'm coming in-- Aah! -[Happy] Hello!
Happy Sedengry, former Bubbeezee CEO and prison inmate,
currently stealing this chupie!
-[Boss grunting] -Cheers!
Wait, you're just walking away?
No elaborate plan of cold-blooded revenge?
Yeah, nah, mate.
I've always felt success is the best revenge.
Teleportation technology condensed into a suckable rubber device?
All I have to do is reverse engineer it-- Boom!
Trillion-dollar business!
It's not for sale, Sedengry.
Yeah, that's why I stole it.
Negosh-off!
You're challenging me to a one-on-one negotiation?
That's my top skill!
You versus me, winner takes chupie, no leverage barred.
I'm familiar with the laws of business, thank you, including the stipulation
that your challenge be documented and notarized.
-Staci, Jimbo? -[zaps]
Documented!
[vocalizes]
-Notarized! -[zaps]
-[shrieks] -Aah! [grunts]
Jimbo!
That's me in the field with Boss Baby! And you!
I'm there, but I'm here and also there.
Am I not real? Is he real?
Are they me and I am them? Who is anyone?
Relax, buddy.
That's the simulation version of us.
You're very real.
How do you know?
[screaming]
-He'll be fine. -[zaps]
This appears to be in order. Right!
[announcer] Negosh-off!
-[video game music plays] -Choose your tactic!
"Aggressive Opening" or "Let Happy Make the First Offer."
Five...
four...
three...
two...
one...
-[bell dinging] -Let's negosh-off!
Oh! Oh!
[moaning]
[gasps]
Hello, Frederic.
Hello, talking baby.
Tempt me with delectable distractions
so you can snatch me for whatever revenge you have in mind?
-You made one big mistake. -Oh?
You can't catch a sugared-up baby.
[pants]
-[laughs] -Hey! Whoa.
Still liking your plan now, Freddy?
[laughing frantically] Ho!
-Do you? -Huh?
Do you? Do we, do we, do we, do you?
[Boss laughs]
Absolutely, because after every sugar rush comes the crash.
What are you talking about?
Who, what, when, where, why, how! [laughs]
[snoring]
[Boss groans]
-[Frederic laughs] -What's the game, Estes?
The game is up to you.
The prize, however, is your drool.
Super moisturizing baby drool--
the secret ingredient for a lotion to soften the most wrinkled hands.
Disgusting.
A Turtleneck Superstar Old Lady scheme, if I ever heard one.
She dumped me, baby-man.
But this lotion-- this is my key back to her heart.
This might be the stupidest plan I've ever heard.
Of course it is!
Why do you think I need Turtleneck?
She's the beauty and the brains!
I'm just the scary one.
So, choose your torture, pipsqueak.
Toothbrush, lemon and cotton swab,
or an impeccably kept financial ledger.
So, what'll it be?
I'm getting your drool one way or the other.
I'd use my own drool, but...
[sniffs]
it smells like a lifetime of mayonnaise and menthol throat lozenges, ugh.
[Boss] Impenetrable darkness.
Mom and Dad on the other side?
Only one way to find out.
[in Brooklyn accent] Yo, Ted and Janice! I think I sees your baby over here!
[in normal accent] Dandy.
[whistling]
Hello, inky blackness.
Morning, surprisingly dense walls of straw.
Howdy hey, cat-like eyes grinning in the void!
Wait! Aah!
-[Boss shouting] -I got that baby!
Congratulations.
Move that kisser a little closer so I can deliver your prize.
-[shouting] -[laughs] Oh!
Bless your heart, but I'm fixing to deliver my own prize.
You can imagine how much I've been missing all my pretty, bitty kitty-cats.
Gross. Continue.
Well, fortunately, I have just the thing to bring them all running back.
Pheromone spray.
Stuff just drives kitties whacko!
So, if I spray you, well, my furry friends are gonna come back
and go razor-clawed whacko all over Boss Baby.
[laughing]
That is a terrifyingly thorough plan...
if my brother wasn't sneaking up behind you.
-Timmy, now! -Huh? Oof!
Guh!
-Staci, Jimbo, we need backup! -What's up, Boss?
-[shrieks] -Aah! [grunts]
Jimbo!
That's me in the field with Boss Baby! And you!
I'm there, but I'm here and also there.
Am I not real? Is he real?
Are they me and I am them? Who is anyone?
Relax, buddy.
That's the simulation version of us.
You're very real.
How do you know?
[screaming]
-He'll be fine. -[zaps]
Bootsy Calico?
And a spray bottle full of kitten-attracting pheromone juice.
Ideas! Staci!
Four-direction assault.
He can't spray all of us!
He can still spray one of us,
and that unlucky chump's getting kitty-mauled for sure... [laughs]
but the other three can take Bootsy down!
Cold-blooded. I like it.
-Jimbo! -Hugs!
Not an idea. Templeton!
With enough hay, I could make a pretty good decoy of you.
When Bootsy sprays the dummy, the real us nail him.
A sacrifice play appeals to my cutthroat corporate instincts,
but so does selling the junk bond version of me to an unsuspecting customer.
-Two good ideas. -Three!
Yeah, sure.
[grunting, shouts]
I can never resist a peek at a financial ledger.
[Frederic] Junior Fancy's bookkeeping.
He has a doctorate in accounting,
but chose to sell boys' formalwear instead.
[gasps] This is a work of art!
The attention to detail!
[slurping]
[Frederic] Don't suck up the good stuff.
Wait, but what's this?
If Junior Fancy applied for the small business subsidy
introduced by the town council last quarter,
his store would be injected with more operational liquidity.
I don't care! Just drool!
-[Junior] Excuse me, old person. -Huh?
Junior Fancy here.
I couldn't help but overhear you analyzing my ledger
in two different voices for some reason.
Uh...
Who tied up this baby?
[grunts]
Ooh! Ow!
What's this about a small business subsidy?
Thanks to this cash subsidy, I've turned my store into a high-end couture boutique.
Here's my estimated taxes for next quarter based on much higher revenue.
This should be enough to increase the budget for valuable programs
like prison escapee re-acquisition!
[sirens wailing]
Come out with your hands up, prison escapees!
We just wanted a calzone and to do crimes!
Whoops, should not have said that last part out loud, yeah.
Wow, they all teamed up? Good thing we stopped it.
All thanks to the power of quality bookkeeping!
[zaps]
-[printer screeches] -Yeah, we don't even have to read
the simulation results to know where you belong.
You're a sucker for financial ledgers, and complex tax schemes make you drool.
[both] Accounting department!
[in Italian accent] Did someone say "ledgers and drool"?
It's-a me! Dale from Accounting!
[giggles] You're funny, Boss.
I'm-a not the boss! I'm-a Dale!
Remember, we got 16 jobs in this simulation.
We can back up a little bit and let you redo your last choice
or reset the simulation and you can start the whole thing fresh.
You barely even scratched the surface!
So much more good stuff in there.
Come on, keep at it!
Seriously, lose the 'stache.
[Staci grunting]
Whoa! It's not budging!
Dale from accounting is-a real.
[screams, sputtering]
I'll give you a penny for it.
That's all you're worth anyway!
[announcer] Lowball Offer With Personal Insult!
My value as a person is unmeasurable in dollar amounts
and unrelated to this transaction!
[announcer] High Self-Esteem Block and Rebound!
Opening Gambit successful!
Choose your counteroffer strategy:
"Flattery" or "Call Partner for Assist."
Five...
four...
three...
two...
one...
-[bell dinging] -Let's negosh-off!
I have an offer, but-- No, forget it.
A businessman with your savvy?
[chuckles] Oh, you know me well.
I don't want to waste your very valuable time.
No, come on, let's hear it.
You'd only say no.
No, I promise I wouldn't.
-Give me the chupie for free! -Aah!
[announcer] Flattery Into Unreasonable Request!
Happy Sedengry at weak negotiating position.
Choose your finishing attempt:
"Deep Probing Question" or "nicey/meany."
Five...
four...
three...
two...
one...
-[bell dinging] -Let's negosh-off!
You okay, buddy?
Here, take this.
[announcer] Nicey!
Oh, gosh, thanks!
That really makes me feel like you care about me as a person, not just--
Now give me the chupie or I tell everyone you stole that heart!
[announcer] Meany!
Well, hang on. You can't be nicey and meany.
-It's a two-person thing! -[announcer] Logical Inconsistency!
Aah!
[announcer] Enter negotiation lightning round!
Choose your strategy:
"Confusion" or "Threaten to Walk Away."
Five...
four...
three...
two...
one...
-[bell dinging] -Let's negosh-off!
-[gasps] -[whimpers]
Howdy hey, babies!
Quickest option! Jimbo, hugs!
Yay!
-[Jimbo giggling] -[gasps] Get--
What are you-- That is my leg!
[kids gasp]
[kittens yowling]
Not even my own kitten mama ever hugged me.
-[kittens meowing, hissing] -[Bootsy crying] It was all I wanted.
Hug them all!
[kittens purring]
-[kitten mewing] -[gasps]
Gwendolyn, the kitten who broke my heart!
-I forgive you! -[purrs]
[kittens mewing]
-[zaps] -[cooing]
You messed with the simulation, didn't you?
I believe what I want to believe.
-[giggles] -[printer screeching]
Welp, you've proven you're great at telling people
the sweet lies they wanna hear.
[laughs] Congratulations!
You get to work with Chip in Marketing!
If you say stuff in a convincing voice, people will believe anything, true or not.
Take it from me, a guy who never steals office supplies.
Now, remember, there are 16 jobs up for grabs.
We can back up a little bit and let you redo your last choice
or reset the whole thing and let you start over fresh!
You bailed a little early from the simulator that time.
Way more stuff in there, so keep going!
Ooh! Chip has a mini golf putting hole in his cube!
I'll teach you how to do finger guns like a pro!
Pew! Pew! [laughs]
It's your calling. Come on!
It's the right place for you.
Do your worst with the cotton stick and citrus ball.
Lemon juice-- stimulates the saliva glands.
[sucking]
Ooh, it's so sour! So...
Oh, no. [groans]
Feels like my mouth is a hot day in the city... [groans]
and the kids are opening the fire hydrant.
[groaning]
An ocean for my lotion.
[laughs] Ho ho ho ho ho!
[grunting, shouts]
[pants]
Nothing slipperier than a wet baby.
-Jimbo, Staci, on my position! -[zaps]
-[shrieks] -Aah! [grunts]
Jimbo!
That's me in the field with Boss Baby! And you!
I'm there, but I'm here and also there.
Am I not real? Is he real?
Are they me and I am them? Who is anyone?
Relax, buddy.
That's the simulation version of us.
You're very real.
How do you know?
[screaming]
-He'll be fine. -[zaps]
-Who tied you up? -[Boss] Estes.
He just ran off with my baby drool.
Really?
-[Ted and Janice shouting] -[gasps] Mom and Dad! Run!
Forget the contest!
We have to go stop Estes!
You gotta focus on the game.
Mom and Dad will be here any second.
Who cares about Estes' stupid plan? It's just baby drool.
Estes and Turtleneck together again will be a whole new kind of heck for us!
No way!
Eyes on the prize. I need you to get this win!
There is no reason you had to give up the diaper, too.
Authenticity, Templeton.
You don't get the heinie right, it destroys the illusion.
Here, baby, baby, baby.
Gotcha! [laughs] Huh?
[Tim and Staci shouting]
[groaning]
-[Boss] Ha ha! -Huh?
[grunting, coughing]
[kittens meowing, purring]
Mm, meow?
-[kittens yowling] -[Bootsy shouting]
Bootsy dispatched.
Now, only one item of business left.
Diaper back on!
Get That Baby victory! Hyah!
[parents laughing, voices overlap] I'm gonna get ya! I'm gonna get ya!
[screams] That baby is naked!
-[parents shouting] -[Ted and Janice groan]
It's ours, isn't it?
Well, at least we'll be able to track him by the screams.
-[man] Ew! -[screaming continues]
[Ted] I got that baby!
And for the winning parents,
please accept these gift certificates for a free date night!
-Free dinner! -Free babysitting! Ha ha!
-In your cute face, baby! Ah! -[Janice and Ted laugh]
Sorry they're rubbing it in.
-[jeering] -[Boss] Let them have their rare joy.
The only thing rubbing at me is the fact my once imprisoned enemy is roaming free,
which proves our local prison is like Swiss cheese.
The grossest of all prisons.
What? No, I mean it's full of holes.
No telling who'll be rearing their head next.
-So... -Welcome!
Junior Fancy, purveyor of--
Scram, handsome.
So, any luck on your plans?
Caught me some baby drool.
But so far, no luck turning it into a hand lotion
that wins my old lady back.
Don't ask!
Well, I got back my kitty cats, but I'm yet un-revenged on Boss Baby.
I hear you.
I managed to snag one of these Baby Corp teleportation chupies.
That's a trillion-dollar invention...
if I could decode its technology, which I cannot.
Let's not all go to Frown Town just yet,
because my girlfriend has a fresh new plan that uses all of us together.
-You have a lady friend? -Meet Wendi.
We were prison pen pals.
Similar interests and what have you.
-The interest is cats. -[mews]
-Ew! -Good for you two!
My plan gives each of you exactly what you want--
-more time with kittens... -[giggles] Ooh!
-[Wendi] ...a highly lucrative business... -Oh!
[Wendi] ...and something soft to impress an old flame.
Mm...
Even better, you've already started rounding up the supplies--
kittens, baby drool, and, most important,
this magical sucky thing.
Get on it, nose.
I smell news around here somewhere. [sniffs]
Escaped convicts in a formal boyswear emporium?
That's news, baby!
[Marsha] Tragically, the four convicts scattered before police could arrive
and are still at large.
Could they be coming to your house? Probably.
Four arch-nemesises back for vengeance?
We gotta get to Baby Corp, ASAP. Come on!
[zaps]
[Happy] Morning, everyone! Hello!
Probably see you around later! Happy Sedengry, recently incarcerated.
Can't wait to learn all of your names. Ooh, you're looking fit!
Little arts and crafts there?
Ooh, knife out of a toothbrush handle! [laughs]
-Clever! -Wow!
Mr. Sedengry, I have never seen a new prisoner
with a more can-do attitude!
Dad always told me, "If you find yourself in prison,
just walk up to the biggest, baddest-looking fella you see,
and give him a great, big hug!"
Ooh, here's a couple of scary lads!
-[men] Huh? -[Happy] Come here, you bruisers!
-[muffled groans] -Aah!
Oh, looks like I've got two new best mates in the big house! Ha ha!
Oh, and to think all of this because I got on the wrong side of a talking baby.
-[all grunt] -Did you say "talking baby"?
So, we're all in here because of the same Boss Baby.
Well, it just so happens I've been working on the perfect plan for revenge. [laughs]
Put a cap on that pop bottle, kitty-cat man.
I got my own plan for that baby.
Well, I don't wanna put a ding in our new best friendship, mates,
but I did run a very successful business pre-incarceration,
and it just so happens I have a bit of a vengeance scheme of my own.
So, whose plan is it gonna be?
Oh, my, my, my, my, my...
we got ourselves a Boss Baby payback plan surplus!
Bootsy Calico, Frederic Estes, and, I don't know, new guy.
-Happy Sedengry. -Nobody cares, hotshot.
I'm doing the scratching post, and you can't stop me!
[grunting]
[kittens mewing]
[Jimbo giggling, grunting]
[meowing]
[grunts]
Howdy hey!
[all mew]
Mission accompli-- [groans]
-[kittens screaming] -Fiscal crisis! [groans]
-I got that baby! -I got that baby!
-[Janice] There's Tim! Timmy! -[woman] I got that baby!
-[groans] Templeton! -Shh!
Please help! We can't be the last ones to get our baby again.
-Do you see you brother anywhere? -No, Dad.
I can honestly say that I cannot currently see my brother.
-[Mrs. Buskie] I got that baby! -[Scooter giggles]
-[blows raspberry] -[Scooter giggles]
There have to be other babies left standing, right?
Last Baby Standing is the Templeton baby!
You get this little Trumpet Buddy.
Please drive your parents up the wall responsibly.
[trumpet blaring]
-Make it stop! Please! -Come on! No!
Templeton brother championship legacy, secure!
Feels good to win, feels bad knowing our prison system
is less secure than a tissue paper diaper.
Our worst enemy scurried out of his hole like a roach.
-And you know what they say about a roach. -He can live without his head for a week?
What? No.
-I mean-- -He can hold his breath for 40 minutes?
Enough roach fun facts!
I mean, when you see one, there's always more.
-So... -Welcome!
Junior Fancy, purveyor of--
Scram, handsome.
So, any luck on your plans?
Caught me some baby drool.
But so far, no luck turning it into a hand lotion
that wins my old lady back.
Don't ask!
Well, I got back my kitty cats, but I'm yet un-revenged on Boss Baby.
I hear you.
I managed to snag one of these Baby Corp teleportation chupies.
That's a trillion-dollar invention...
if I could decode its technology, which I cannot.
Let's not all go to Frown Town just yet,
because my girlfriend has a fresh new plan that uses all of us together.
-You have a lady friend? -Meet Wendi.
We were prison pen pals.
Similar interests and what have you.
-The interest is cats. -[mews]
-Ew! -Good for you two!
My plan gives each of you exactly what you want--
-more time with kittens... -[giggles] Ooh!
-[Wendi] ...a highly lucrative business... -Oh!
[Wendi] ...and something soft to impress an old flame.
Mm...
Even better, you've already started rounding up the supplies--
kittens, baby drool, and, most important,
this magical sucky thing.
Get on it, nose.
I smell news around here somewhere. [sniffs]
Escaped convicts in a formal boyswear emporium?
That's news, baby!
[Marsha] Tragically, the four convicts scattered before police could arrive
and are still at large.
Could they be coming to your house? Probably.
Four arch-nemesises back for vengeance?
We gotta get to Baby Corp, ASAP. Come on!
-[trumpet blaring] -Okay, we lost!
You don't have to rub it in by playing with the noisy toy you won!
Sorry, boys.
That was the crushing failure talking.
Let us apologize
with some all-together-every-second- never-out-of-our-sight time as a family!
What do you guys wanna do?
Um... one sec.
Ugh! They get so clingy when they're sad.
How are we supposed to sneak out now?
With a distraction.
Maybe we can give them the prize they lost-- a romantic date, but at home.
Or heal their wounded pride.
A Get That Baby rematch.
What do grown-ups do for dates?
Pillow fort building? Bubblegum?
Nothing involving kissing.
What's your stance on a romantic movie with kissing?
Could still end in Mom and Dad kissing.
Aah! It's like defusing a kiss bomb!
We just had the greatest idea in the history of greatest ideas.
Let's have a Get That Baby do-over!
-That's very sweet, but-- -Shh! Let the boy speak.
There's no way a Templeton baby could have beaten you that badly again.
It does sound fluky.
[both] Ten, nine, eight, seven...
-This feels like cheating. -[laughs] Yeah.
[Ted and Janice] ...four, three, two, one!
Get that baby!
-[elevator bell dings] -Look alive, people!
Uh, people?
Try to reach anyone.
-Jimbo, Staci, do you read? Triplets! -Hendershot? Football Mike?
-People named Sebastian? -The bad guys beat us here.
The entire office has been baby-napped!
-We have to rescue them! -We have to find them!
I'd say start looking in our arch-nemeses' filthy dens, but which filthy den?
-[zaps] -Sorry.
Real quick, because this part of the simulation is a little different.
It's puzzle time!
We need to test your problem-solving skills,
so at each bad guy's old lair, you're gonna try to crack a puzzle.
Get it right, you'll find where to go rescue
your missing Baby Corp friends.
Including simulation us!
Uh, get it wrong, and you'll have to look for some other clues.
Save simulation us!
Normal us is okay, so don't worry.
But worry!
[zaps]
So, which villain hideout do we search?
Mr. Pineapple's Cafe?
Bubbeezee Headquarters?
Maybe the senior center?
Where should we go, Templeton? We can't waste too much time.
You want me to pick? Is this a test?
I'm unprepared!
Where's the best place to take dozens of office babies?
Where's the best place to lead me into a trap?
[announcer] Negotiation partner summoned.
Enter Staci!
-Thoughts on a counteroffer, Stace? -Lay waste to our enemies!
-Say what? -Uh...
And burn their villages to the ground!
Too far! Too far! Ow!
[announcer] Overly Aggressive Counteroffer backfires!
Enter negotiation lightning round!
Choose your strategy:
"Confusion" or "Threaten to Walk Away."
Five...
four...
three...
two...
one...
-[bell dinging] -Let's negosh-off!
We can't let Estes get away! I need ideas.
-Stop in the name of the law! -Why don't we tell him?
-[Dakota giggling] -Gyah!
That never works.
Go!
-Officer Doug! -No!
I almost got that baby!
Sorry, but it's Frederic Estes.
-He's here! -Uh, no.
He's in prison for a crime, and breaking out of prison is also a crime.
And everyone knows two wrongs don't make a right.
Then who's that?
Frederic! What are you doing here?
I'm old and forgetful... [chuckles] so...
I don't know.
Well, it's back to prison for you!
So, you just march back and lock yourself in your cell right now!
-[Staci] What? -Daddy's gonna get you, Dakota!
Toodle-oo and 23 skid-doo!
No! We had him!
[Janice] Here, baby! Baby!
We've lost Estes for now, but I am not losing Get That Baby!
Staci, Jimbo, I need a lemon, stat!
-[Ted] Where's the baby? -[gasps]
There he is!
I got that baby!
[blows raspberry] Ugh! So tart!
[shudders]
[slurs] Why am I drooling so much?
It can't end like this!
No! [crying]
Last Baby Standing is the Templeton baby!
You get this little Trumpet Buddy.
Please drive your parents up the wall responsibly.
[trumpet blaring]
-Make it stop! Please! -Come on! No!
Templeton brother championship legacy, secure!
Feels good to win, feels bad knowing our prison system
is less secure than a tissue paper diaper.
Our worst enemy scurried out of his hole like a roach.
-And you know what they say about a roach. -He can live without his head for a week?
What? No.
-I mean-- -He can hold his breath for 40 minutes?
Enough roach fun facts!
I mean, when you see one, there's always more.
-So... -Welcome!
Junior Fancy, purveyor of--
Scram, handsome.
So, any luck on your plans?
Caught me some baby drool.
But so far, no luck turning it into a hand lotion
that wins my old lady back.
Don't ask!
Well, I got back my kitty cats, but I'm yet un-revenged on Boss Baby.
I hear you.
I managed to snag one of these Baby Corp teleportation chupies.
That's a trillion-dollar invention...
if I could decode its technology, which I cannot.
Let's not all go to Frown Town just yet,
because my girlfriend has a fresh new plan that uses all of us together.
-You have a lady friend? -Meet Wendi.
We were prison pen pals.
Similar interests and what have you.
-The interest is cats. -[mews]
-Ew! -Good for you two!
My plan gives each of you exactly what you want--
-more time with kittens... -[giggles] Ooh!
-[Wendi] ...a highly lucrative business... -Oh!
[Wendi] ...and something soft to impress an old flame.
Mm...
Even better, you've already started rounding up the supplies--
kittens, baby drool, and, most important,
this magical sucky thing.
Get on it, nose.
I smell news around here somewhere. [sniffs]
Escaped convicts in a formal boyswear emporium?
That's news, baby!
[Marsha] Tragically, the four convicts scattered before police could arrive
and are still at large.
Could they be coming to your house? Probably.
Four arch-nemesises back for vengeance?
We gotta get to Baby Corp, ASAP. Come on!
This negotiation is fruitless!
Accept my terms or I walk away!
-Yeah, all right. -What?
I'm the one with the chupie, mate. You walk, I still have it.
You've got no leverage.
-[announcer] Empty Threat! -Ow!
So, how about you accept my terms?
I'll have... to ask... my supervisor.
You have no supervisor!
-[announcer] Empty Threat combo! -Aah!
-[bell dinging] -Happy Sedengry wins!
So, I just, uh, clear out with the old winnings, then, eh?
Not looking to confirm. We'll, uh-- We'll assume it's a yes.
Ta!
He negotiated the clothes right off your back!
I've never felt so comfortable and ashamed.
Hey, I just saw Mom and-- aah!
Why the heck are you naked?
-Long story. -[Janice] Ted, have you seen him yet?
They're closing in!
I can't get Happy if I get got in Get That Baby,
so I gotta get a win in the game first, got it?
-Okay! -Copy!
-Wait, Happy's here? -Don't worry, naked baby's got this.
[parents laughing, voices overlap] I'm gonna get ya! I'm gonna get ya!
[screams] That baby is naked!
-[parents shouting] -[Ted and Janice groan]
It's ours, isn't it?
Well, at least we'll be able to track him by the screams.
-[man] Ew! -[screaming continues]
[Ted] I got that baby!
And for the winning parents,
please accept these gift certificates for a free date night!
-Free dinner! -Free babysitting! Ha ha!
-In your cute face, baby! Ah! -[Janice and Ted laugh]
Sorry they're rubbing it in.
-[jeering] -[Boss] Let them have their rare joy.
The only thing rubbing at me is the fact my once imprisoned enemy is roaming free,
which proves our local prison is like Swiss cheese.
The grossest of all prisons.
What? No, I mean it's full of holes.
No telling who'll be rearing their head next.
-So... -Welcome!
Junior Fancy, purveyor of--
Scram, handsome.
So, any luck on your plans?
Caught me some baby drool.
But so far, no luck turning it into a hand lotion
that wins my old lady back.
Don't ask!
Well, I got back my kitty cats, but I'm yet un-revenged on Boss Baby.
I hear you.
I managed to snag one of these Baby Corp teleportation chupies.
That's a trillion-dollar invention...
if I could decode its technology, which I cannot.
Let's not all go to Frown Town just yet,
because my girlfriend has a fresh new plan that uses all of us together.
-You have a lady friend? -Meet Wendi.
We were prison pen pals.
Similar interests and what have you.
-The interest is cats. -[mews]
-Ew! -Good for you two!
My plan gives each of you exactly what you want--
-more time with kittens... -[giggles] Ooh!
-[Wendi] ...a highly lucrative business... -Oh!
[Wendi] ...and something soft to impress an old flame.
Mm...
Even better, you've already started rounding up the supplies--
kittens, baby drool, and, most important,
this magical sucky thing.
Get on it, nose.
I smell news around here somewhere. [sniffs]
Escaped convicts in a formal boyswear emporium?
That's news, baby!
[Marsha] Tragically, the four convicts scattered before police could arrive
and are still at large.
Could they be coming to your house? Probably.
Four arch-nemesises back for vengeance?
We gotta get to Baby Corp, ASAP. Come on!
I'm going for Mom.
Could use an assist.
[Boss giggling]
I'm gonna get that bab-- [screams]
-Can I have a dirt bike? -What? Tim, not the time!
Speaking of time, think of how much of it you'd save
by not having to drive me to school or church or euphonium lessons--
You don't play the euphonium!
-Why are we talking about this right-- -[woman] I got that baby!
-Oh, no. -[blows raspberry]
Last Baby Standing is the Templeton baby!
You get this little Trumpet Buddy.
Please drive your parents up the wall responsibly.
[trumpet blaring]
-Make it stop! Please! -Come on! No!
Templeton brother championship legacy, secure!
Feels good to win, feels bad knowing our prison system
is less secure than a tissue paper diaper.
Our worst enemy scurried out of his hole like a roach.
-And you know what they say about a roach. -He can live without his head for a week?
What? No.
-I mean-- -He can hold his breath for 40 minutes?
Enough roach fun facts!
I mean, when you see one, there's always more.
-So... -Welcome!
Junior Fancy, purveyor of--
Scram, handsome.
So, any luck on your plans?
Caught me some baby drool.
But so far, no luck turning it into a hand lotion
that wins my old lady back.
Don't ask!
Well, I got back my kitty cats, but I'm yet un-revenged on Boss Baby.
I hear you.
I managed to snag one of these Baby Corp teleportation chupies.
That's a trillion-dollar invention...
if I could decode its technology, which I cannot.
Let's not all go to Frown Town just yet,
because my girlfriend has a fresh new plan that uses all of us together.
-You have a lady friend? -Meet Wendi.
We were prison pen pals.
Similar interests and what have you.
-The interest is cats. -[mews]
-Ew! -Good for you two!
My plan gives each of you exactly what you want--
-more time with kittens... -[giggles] Ooh!
-[Wendi] ...a highly lucrative business... -Oh!
[Wendi] ...and something soft to impress an old flame.
Mm...
Even better, you've already started rounding up the supplies--
kittens, baby drool, and, most important,
this magical sucky thing.
Get on it, nose.
I smell news around here somewhere. [sniffs]
Escaped convicts in a formal boyswear emporium?
That's news, baby!
[Marsha] Tragically, the four convicts scattered before police could arrive
and are still at large.
Could they be coming to your house? Probably.
Four arch-nemesises back for vengeance?
We gotta get to Baby Corp, ASAP. Come on!
Toothbrush! I need a toothbrush!
-There he is! [laughs] -Come on, drool!
Ah! Where are his clothes?
It's a distraction. Ignore it!
I got that baby-- Whoo!
-Aah! -[Boss giggling]
I got him! [grunts]
-Hey, get-- get back here! -[Ted and Janice grunting]
-[Ted] No, no, no, hey! [muttering] -[Janice grunting]
-[giggling] -[Ted] Wai--
These hands, they used to be so strong.
-Why is there no justice in this world? -[sobbing]
Last Baby Standing is the Templeton baby!
You get this little Trumpet Buddy.
Please drive your parents up the wall responsibly.
[trumpet blaring]
-Make it stop! Please! -Come on! No!
Templeton brother championship legacy, secure!
Feels good to win, feels bad knowing our prison system
is less secure than a tissue paper diaper.
Our worst enemy scurried out of his hole like a roach.
-And you know what they say about a roach. -He can live without his head for a week?
What? No.
-I mean-- -He can hold his breath for 40 minutes?
Enough roach fun facts!
I mean, when you see one, there's always more.
-So... -Welcome!
Junior Fancy, purveyor of--
Scram, handsome.
So, any luck on your plans?
Caught me some baby drool.
But so far, no luck turning it into a hand lotion
that wins my old lady back.
Don't ask!
Well, I got back my kitty cats, but I'm yet un-revenged on Boss Baby.
I hear you.
I managed to snag one of these Baby Corp teleportation chupies.
That's a trillion-dollar invention...
if I could decode its technology, which I cannot.
Let's not all go to Frown Town just yet,
because my girlfriend has a fresh new plan that uses all of us together.
-You have a lady friend? -Meet Wendi.
We were prison pen pals.
Similar interests and what have you.
-The interest is cats. -[mews]
-Ew! -Good for you two!
My plan gives each of you exactly what you want--
-more time with kittens... -[giggles] Ooh!
-[Wendi] ...a highly lucrative business... -Oh!
[Wendi] ...and something soft to impress an old flame.
Mm...
Even better, you've already started rounding up the supplies--
kittens, baby drool, and, most important,
this magical sucky thing.
Get on it, nose.
I smell news around here somewhere. [sniffs]
Escaped convicts in a formal boyswear emporium?
That's news, baby!
[Marsha] Tragically, the four convicts scattered before police could arrive
and are still at large.
Could they be coming to your house? Probably.
Four arch-nemesises back for vengeance?
We gotta get to Baby Corp, ASAP. Come on!
Why do you want the chupie?
[announcer] Question!
I told you, for the money.
But why do you want money?
[announcer] Deep, Probing Question!
I, uh...
Uh, I-I guess I never really asked myself that--
-[screams] -[bell dinging]
[Happy] Here you go!
And here's some money, the keys to my corporate jet,
and a coupon for private cello lessons.
I have been meaning to learn.
Ooh, excuse me, Officer!
I believe I belong back in prison, thank you!
All right, I get to keep my job!
What the heck was that?
[announcer] Perfect Negotiation!
[zaps]
I've never seen negotiation like that before.
You blew Jimbo's mind!
[speaking gibberish]
[screeching]
Yep, you're Business Affairs.
You'll be negotiating all the contracts in Baby Corp.
But remember, this simulation has 16 possible jobs in it.
We can back up and see where else the negosh-off might lead
or reset the simulation and give you a total do-over from the top!
You barely even started exploring!
Jimbo, tell them about the baby walker that comes with the job.
[speaking gibberish]
[Tim] Okay, I have an idea.
[both shout]
[in French accent] Madame, monsieur, as I am not allowed to use zee matches,
would you care to ignite zee candles romantique?
What is this?
[in normal accent] Even though you didn't win, you tried so hard,
so me and the baby think you deserve a romantic date anyway.
Oh, but this was supposed to be a whole family activity--
Shh! Let-- Let the boy speak!
We have a fine, romance-y movie selection for you.
And for la cream of the cream... cereal!
Just like popcorn, but you don't have to use appliances to make it,
and there's sugar.
How long has it been since we just relaxed and took time for us?
Let the romantic magic happen.
Pay no attention to us for, um...
107 minutes?
[instrumental music playing]
[both sigh]
-All right, let's get to-- -[kids gasp]
You boys really sparked some long-lost magic.
The perfect amount to make us both realize...
We want to have another baby!
-What? -[yelps]
[zaps]
Congratulations!
Your gross romantic gesture has shown you're perfect
for a job on the Baby Corp factory floor.
You'll be making babies for families all over the world!
[babbling]
And congrats on the job making a crud-load of me's!
[laughs] There's still so much more to the placement simulator.
We could send you back a little bit to redo your last choice
or reset the simulator and make a fresh start!
Remember, we've got 16 different jobs.
It's hard work on the factory floor, but you can--
[baby] Are you nuts, lady?
It's a breeze.
You just slap our rear ends and send us on our way.
Baby factory, baby! Whoo!
Don't be a schnook!
It's a great job.
Hey, Marisol.
Have you ever been surprised at a job before?
Oh, sure. One time they told me I was sitting two eight-year-olds,
and they turned out to be two eight-year-old Great Danes!
That must have blown your mind!
Not really.
I just did what I always do-- assess, adapt,
and provide excellent service to my customers.
Well, get ready to do all that stuff, because...
Hello, Marisol.
I work for a secret--
Aah! [speaking gibberish]
Marisol!
[zaps]
Were you guys watching the monitor?
It's like her brain went... [imitates explosion]
And then it was like... [imitates bomb whistling]
-[imitates explosion] Badda-boom! -[screeching]
I knew it!
You risk it all without proper analysis and hope for an unlikely good outcome!
Heh, so, you're joining me in the Research and Development department!
But remember, we got 16 careers out there in this simulator.
We can back you up a little bit to redo your last choice
or reset the whole shebang and start from the top!
Why not see where else you could end up?
D'ooh, I can't wait to get you in the lab to blow some stuff up!
-Heh! -[both imitating explosions]
Don't move.
There are bombs in your mouths.
-[zaps] -Aah!
What the heck?
[male voice] We notice you've been making some... interesting choices.
In doing so, you've unlocked two special buttons.
Press the green one,
and we'll allow Staci and Jimbo to give you a special assist.
Cool! Thanks, mysterious voice!
[male voice] Press the red button, and you will unleash a plague of falling spiders,
but instead of shooting webs out of their butts,
they just fart constantly, and the farts smell like black licorice,
and also the spiders are on fire.
Why would anyone ever pick the red one?
Some weirdos like black licorice.
[bells chiming]
Congratulations! You solved it!
The villains are hiding out at the old garment factory
just outside town.
[Tim] Thanks, computer!
[gasps] What if it's a trap?
[Boss] Of course it is!
Let's spring it.
-[Tim] Flaming spiders! -[Boss] Black licorice!
Okay.
Interesting choices you made there.
It says your ideal placement is...
arch-nemesis!
Security!
-[babies grunt] -[bodies thud]
You sure this is who you wanna be, pal?
'Cause there's a lot more simulation to go and plenty of other jobs left.
If you want, you can back up and redo your last choice,
or we could just reset the whole simulator and start over.
I like to crush villains so efficiently, they sometimes quite enjoy it.
You wanna rejoin polite society?
Fresh start. No grudges, I promise.
[buzzer blares]
-Sorry, that was not the correct answer. -[Tim] Dang it!
[Boss] Don't worry,
we've still got two more old villain lairs we can investigate.
You want to check out the senior center, or poke around the old Bubbeezee HQ?
FYI, I am available for birthday parties at a very reasonable rate.
-[cash register dings] -I also do impressions.
"Bloop." That was my friend government satellite computer.
You don't know him, but trust me, he sounds exactly like that.
[Boss] Uh, computer, we're trying to make a choice where to go next.
I am not programmed to apologize.
[buzzer blares]
-Sorry, that was not the correct answer. -[Tim] Dang it!
[Boss] Don't worry,
we've still got two more old villain lairs we can investigate.
You want to slip over to the old Bubbeezee HQ,
or take our chances at Mr. Pineapple's Cafe?
♪ I'm just a friendly computer Programmed to instruct ♪
♪ My one job is over It's time to self-destruct ♪
[vocalizing]
[Boss] Uh, computer, we're trying to make a choice where to go next.
I am not programmed to apologize.
You know the cops are never gonna buy this story.
Then I'll make them believe it.
Special delivery!
What's the 411, youngest mailman I've ever seen?
[wistful music playing]
I need to see exactly how the geniuses behind this sweater do it!
What a fantastic idea!
[kittens mewing]
-[babies crying] -[gasps]
[laughs]
[licks, coughs]
Freeze, you sickos!
I sentence you to put all this hair back on the cats!
Just kidding! I'm just gonna make sure you creeps are locked up forever.
-Thank you, Tim! -Thank you, man-baby! You're my hero!
[zaps]
-Whoo-hoo! You earned a job! -[printer screeches]
Mailroom baby!
[laughs] Yay!
[Staci] You knew only one thing could save the day...
so you delivered a sweater from point B to point A.
[gasps] You just made a rhyme!
It could be a song!
Remember, still a ton of jobs at Baby Corp if you wanna keep looking.
We can back up and let you redo your last choice
or reset the whole hoo-hah and start again.
Sing it with me!
♪ You knew only one thing Could save the day ♪
♪ So you delivered a sweater From point B to point A ♪
-[Frederic coughing] -[villains groaning]
-Come on! -Come on, Freddy!
Now, where's that--
-Baby? Hyah! -[grunting]
[yelps]
You, take on-- what, all of us?
I fought in wars you've never heard of!
The Battle of Tootie Backsplash, the Six-Year Slapfight.
Any last words, baby-man?
You know, there is a little something I've always wanted to say.
My Baby Corp comrades,
will you fight to break free from these shackles
and return to your cubicles?
-[babies cheering] -[Chip] Of course I will!
Then charge!
[metal creaking]
Sorry, the cages are really tricky.
[screaming, crying]
-[bangs] -[Boss shouting]
[groans]
-[villains shouting] -[Wendi laughs]
[zaps]
Sorry we took you out in the middle of a fight.
But you do not want to see the horror unfolding inside of the simulation.
And I'm a huge fan of violence, so... [laughs] you know it's bad.
-[screeching] -But we have a result.
You've been placed in Security! Yay!
Welcome to the pack, dog!
[howls]
Still got lots of other jobs in this simulator
if you wanna go exploring.
You could back up a tiny bit and redo your last choice
or we can reset the simulator
and let you try again fresh from the start.
What do ya think?
[dance music playing]
Why would they wanna go back?
-Katja makes cookies for us every week! -Mm-hmm.
-Oh! -Security babies only!
Meow at them, Stace.
[meowing]
[kittens meowing]
[laughs] Ooh, well, don't y'all look jittery as a long-tailed Chartreux
at a rocking chair convention.
[kittens hissing, yowling]
What did you say?
Can't be positive, but I think I suggested
they were being underpaid for the value of their labor
and they should seize the means of production
or be crushed by the gears of late-stage capitalism.
You unionized kittens?
Now, that's simply not true, sugar-boogers.
I'm fair as a bear! [chuckles]
-[Staci] Union! -[kittens yowling]
[babies laughing]
[zaps]
I can't believe you managed to organize a whole crew of kitties!
You have a talent for levying collective bargaining power
for better working conditions!
I had that written on my hand.
We're making you our new union rep!
-We discourage unionization of-- -Shove it, Buddy!
M'kay.
Still lots of other jobs out there in this placement simulator.
We can back up and let you redo your last choice
or reboot the simulator and you can start over from the top.
You'll love being a union rep.
Stick it to the man!
What do we want? You as our rep!
When do we want it? It's kind of up to you!
I mean, honestly.
There's got to be some secret door or passageway-- Aha!
-[power shuts down] -[Boss groans]
-Aah! -Cat got your way out?
I want you to listen, and listen good, Boss Baby.
-What do you think of Wendi? -Your girlfriend?
Well, yeah, I think she is. Do you like her?
I used to be into that creepy cat lady vibe,
but she's already trying to change my kitties' diets,
and we've only been scheming together for, like, seven hours.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. She's moving way too fast.
Right? [chuckles]
-So, you'll break up with her for me? -Whoa, I never said that.
Yeah, great, but you didn't not say it either, so...
Will you help me or not?
Just think how easier it'd be coming from you.
She already hates you.
You're scared of her, aren't you?
Absolutely terrified.
More scared of her than I am hateful of you.
[whimpers] Please, Boss Baby.
For old time's sake?
-Going nowhere? -[gasps]
Estes. Guess it's your lucky day.
You finally got me.
[sobbing]
But I don't want you!
I want her!
Aah! Wrinkles!
Imagine if that snot-nosed brother of yours
never wanted to talk to you again.
You'd do anything to get him back.
Breaking out of prison, stealing all that drool.
It wasn't to get revenge, it was to get her!
Ugh! What is that awful taste in my mouth?
Maybe empathy? Maybe revulsion?
Part of me wants to reunite you with Turtleneck,
and part of me wants to reunite you with prison.
Well, pick one.
Will you help me or not?
Help me, Boss Baby!
I'm stuck in a dead end with you
when all I wanted was to be stuck on a beach
with a bag full of seashells and my schnookums!
[crying]
All right, Happy, what do I do?
Aah!
Who got the baby? I got the baby.
Did you get the baby? No get the baby.
-Well done! -Yay for you!
-Sure. -Nice work, Happy.
Now, go get the glory you deserve.
Now that we have Boss Baby, we can begin the next phase.
And that phase is putting me in charge, since I got that baby!
-[in high voice] No, I'm in charge. -What?
Um, wrong!
[chuckles] Clearly, I'm the boss, here.
Bow down to your true leader, you dewdroppers! [shouts]
-[Wendi shouts] Hey! -Oh, watch it! Ouch!
-[Bootsy] I'm the boss around here. -[Frederic] No, I am!
[villains grunting]
You guys mind if I let my friends go and get out of here?
-Cool beans. -[alarm blares]
[babies cheering]
[zaps]
[printer screeches]
You made a crisis more crisis-ier and distracted from the real crisis!
So, you've been placed in Public Relations!
Did we just hire a new PR baby?
Because I need help telling Peg I broke her coffee mug.
[Peg] Has anyone seen my dangle-darned coffee mug?
Remember, this simulator can lead to 16 different careers.
You wanna back up a little and redo your last choice?
Or, if we start you over from the beginning,
you could wind up anywhere!
Please, take the job! Peg is coming!
I need your help making her less mad! Please!
Look how broken this is!
-[Peg] I just sharpened all my pencils! -[gasps]
Take the PR job. Please!
No glue can fix this!
Well, did you find Boss Baby?
It's over.
Ha! [snorts] Oh, please.
We got enough baby drool to cover an entire continent in cat-shmere.
I mean for you and Bootsy.
Boots, what's that talking baby talking about?
You know this isn't a relationship built on love.
When the scheming's all gone, what's left?
-[Bootsy and Wendi] Cats? -Not each other?
That says something, don't you think?
[sobbing]
Let her go.
Well, that's put a jipper in my skipper.
What next?
[grunts] It was her plan.
-Should we call it? -Fine by me.
You know, I've been thinking about opening a prison themed luxury retreat!
Gonna call it "Lights Out in Ten."
Oh, Bootsy?
My friends would like to break up with those cages.
My heart may be heavy,
but my gratitude is higher than the back hair on a scaredy-cat.
[babies cheering, laughing]
Roses are red, violets are blue,
thanks, but I still hate you.
-And you, too. -[zaps]
Now, that was one heck of a break-up!
Bootsy and Wendi just seemed so right for each other!
[screeching]
Congratulations!
You just earned a job in HR!
[party horn squawks]
-[dance music plays] -Human Resources!
That means you've mastered all the freshest moves
for delivering bad news when your boss is too scaredy-fraid to do it himself!
[chuckles] A-break it down.
We can back up and let you redo your last choice
or reboot the simulator and you can start over from the top.
Still lots of other jobs out there in this placement simulator.
Nobody parties like Buddy From HR!
-Arm snake! -[music continues]
Pack your dentures, old man.
We've got a love train to catch!
Choo-choo!
[laughing]
[light-hearted music playing]
[gags]
What's this, Snooglemint?
A gift... for me?
Um... yes.
Wait, what?
♪ Let one gentle whisper All my doubts destroy ♪
♪ Let my dreamy rapture Turn to waking joy ♪
♪ Baby, do you love me? ♪
♪ Tell me, tell me true ♪
♪ Baby, do you love me? ♪
♪ Love as I love... ♪
♪ Turtleneck! ♪
[chuckles]
You always were a romantic one.
Now kiss me, you pile of unfolded laundry!
[screaming]
[zaps]
-Congratulations! -[printer screeches]
We found a job for you!
You knew that choice would end terribly,
but that only proves you're a big softy who believes in love.
And there's only one position in the office that delivers love
and is loved by everyone who loves.
Snack Cart Baby!
-[all shouting] -I want snacks!
It's a great job, but there are still lots more available in this simulator.
If you want, you can back up a little bit and redo your last choice,
or we can send you back to the beginning of the simulation for a fresh start!
All right! We finally got a snack cart baby!
I love snacks!
-Come on. Hungry! -Salty snacks, crunchy snacks--
-[babies shouting] -[Peg] Cherries! My favorite!
-I want that one and that one! -[Chip] You're a liar!
No more running.
It's time to fight back.
Supply check! Everyone empty pockets and diapers.
[Boss] A pen, four rattles, and a formula bottle?
[groans, growls]
That's it? This is all I have to choose from?
Sorry, Beebs.
Didn't realize today was "bring your villain foiling weapon to work
'cause you're gonna have to break out of a factory turned prison" day.
I would have packed my katana blade!
-Get him! -You babies must be thirsty.
-[formula sloshing] -I'm very thirsty! Thank you for asking!
Yes, I'm sure they'd appreciate a drink, but we need a rescue and escape plan!
Oh, I'm planning on not giving them a drink.
[Chip] No, you wouldn't!
-[gasps] You are a monster! -Aah! How dare you?
Cover your ears.
[babies wailing]
[all groan]
[wailing continues]
Oh, sounds like babies in trouble at...
the abandoned factory!
I need all cars. All cars!
Also, are you guys watching this Earth documentary on TV right now?
It is fascinating.
[wailing continues]
-[clears throat] -[wailing stops]
If everyone's done crying over spilt milk, where were we?
Under arrest!
This is awesome!
Look at all the babies we saved.
We're, like, I don't know,
like, really awesome heroes or something, right?
-[zaps] -[printer screeching]
You alerted the cops,
and, binga banga boonga, made your problem someone else's.
I'll handle this, Stace.
I can do it, Hendershot.
Sometimes you need a middle man.
And that's where you've been assigned--
Middle management! Ha!
Take on the easy stuff, pass off the hard stuff!
The greatest job ever.
So, let's party!
[announcer] Smart and savvy Middle Management Baby, you're hired!
-[all cheering] -[dance music playing]
You deserve it!
Congratulations and welcome aboard!
What better job could there be?
Except for mine.
I suppose you could try for mine.
You know, there are 16 different jobs in that simulator.
If you want, you can back up to redo your last choice and see where that goes.
Or restart the whole simulation, and you could go anywhere.
Hey, you!
Hey, everyone!
It's our new employee!
-Who wants to play Spin the Dance Bottle? -[dance music plays]
[gasps, vocalizing]
No time for paper!
Jimbo, stomach!
-[pen scribbling] -[giggling]
Jimbo, feet!
A contract for full-time employment at Baby Corp.
You're offering us a job?
You're offering them a job?
Who better than old baddies to help us catch future baddies?
And who else is gonna give you a second chance with baby-napping
and forced cat licking on your record?
Some hot joe, Mr. Hendershot?
Eh, thanks, BC.
-[electricity crackles] -Ow! Fart smellers!
Quarter in the swear jar, Frederic.
Now, that's how you fill a stapler.
Who knew?
They just needed structure.
Some people just have an eye for talent.
[zaps]
Whoa! You have a crazy eye for talent!
Who else could have thought of that?
Only someone who's headed for...
Recruiting! Yay!
You'll be in charge of finding the biggest brains for Baby Corp
and figuring out where their talents will work best.
I think this machine's gonna put itself out of business.
-[laughs] -[printer screeching]
Hmm, machine is having second thoughts now.
Wants you to find a new career.
"Or else"?
[blows raspberry] What's it gonna do, slowly spit paper at you?
Party time!
[announcer] Super-awesome Recruiter Baby, you're hired!
-[all cheering] -[dance music playing]
You deserve it!
Congratulations and welcome aboard!
What better job could there be?
Except for mine.
I suppose you could try for mine.
You know, there are 16 different jobs in that simulator.
If you want, you can back up to redo your last choice and see where that goes.
Or restart the whole simulation, and you could go anywhere.
Hey, you!
Hey, everyone!
It's our new employee!
-Who wants to play Spin the Dance Bottle? -[dance music plays]
[gasps, vocalizing]
I choose...
nothing.
-[villains] What? -What?
What?
I'm done being forced to choose where to go, what to do, and how to do it.
I'm a leader.
Leaders don't listen to rules.
You hear that, simulation?
I am no longer beholden to the artificial boundaries
set by the programmers of this universe!
Yeah, um...
-[over speakers] Can we talk about this? -[all gasp]
Because here's the deal, Simulation Boss Baby.
-It's just Boss Baby. -Fine, Boss Baby.
You need to choose something.
That's the only way this simul-- this mission can be completed.
[laughs] Oh, ho ho ho!
You can't fool me, Staci voice.
This is all made up, which means I can make up whatever rules I want.
-This is a bit above my pay grade. -Silence, rake! [snaps fingers]
-Aah! -[Happy] Oh, and I'm a rake. Brilliant.
[kittens mewing]
-[snaps fingers] -[all gasp]
-My babies! -Hunnerdbuttons!
You could have just turned them into different cats!
[snaps fingers]
This is getting weird.
This is getting awesome!
Everyone, grab chupies and throw them
into the magical pressure gauge baby mouths I made with my magic snaps!
I've given you all the superpower of perfect aim.
What now, magic baby-man?
Now... this place is really gonna start to suck.
-[gauges suckling] -[chupies whirring]
There they are, guys!
Everybody, grab them!
-[cop] There they are! Let's get them! -Crud buckets.
-Grab the rake. That's a bad guy, too. -[Happy] What? No, I'm not.
Yeah, I'm a talking baby. We're in a simulation. Who cares?
That was so cool!
That was leadership.
That was ice cream pizza! [snaps fingers]
[munching]
[all laughing, cheering]
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
[vocalizing]
[groans]
[zaps]
That was nutsy doo-doo!
You were just like... [shouting]
"Out of my way, rules!
I make my own!"
[screeching]
Oh, yeah!
You're the boss!
-The big cheese! -Yay! [laughs]
I love cheese of all sizes!
-Let's have a party! -Yeah!
[laughing]
Welcome to Baby Corp, Boss!
You're in with the elites.
Here, have a bottle and cookie.
There are lots of other jobs at Baby Corp.
You could always take a fresh start,
or, if you're worn out and want to head down for a nap, it's up to you!
[in Mid-Atlantic accent] The party is smashing, Jimbo, simply smashing!
Really? Okay!
Uh, Jimbo, "smashing" means "fun" in fancy-people talk.
Well, I'm having lots of smashing!
-Whoa! -[babies cheering]
Hi! Did you forget to choose?
Remember, when it's time to make a choice, press "left" or "right" on your controller
to highlight your choice, then press "okay."
So, do you want me to choose Staci's fist on the left,
or on the right?
Up to you.
[Staci and Jimbo chanting] Choose! Choose! Choose!
[chanting continues]
Hi! Did you forget to choose?
Remember, when it's time to make a choice, click on the box you want to choose.
So, do you want me to choose Staci's fist on the left,
or on the right?
Up to you!
[Staci and Jimbo chanting] Choose! Choose! Choose!
[chanting continues]
Hi! Did you forget to choose?
Remember, when it's time to make a choice, press "left" or "right" on your remote
to highlight your choice, then press "okay."
So, do you want me to choose Staci's fist on the left,
or on the right?
Up to you!
[Staci and Jimbo chanting] Choose! Choose! Choose!
[chanting continues]
Hi! Did you forget to choose?
Remember, when it's time to make a choice, tap on the box you want to choose.
So, do you want me to choose Staci's fist on the left,
or on the right?
Up to you!
[Staci and Jimbo chanting] Choose! Choose! Choose!
[chanting continues]
[theme music plays]
♪ Boss Baby ♪