New that you have been surruunded by ducturs an d nurses.
Plern!
Excu se me.
Just breathe slewly.
B reath e... Slewly an d deeply.
New push!
Pu sh!
Just keep breathi n g slewly.
Plern!
Okay, n ow take a deep breath.
A deep breath, on e, twu, th ree.
Pu sh...
Pu sh!
Al most dune!
I can see th e h ead.
Th e baby's head?
Th e h ead uf you r hemorrh oids.
Plern!
Th e Wurl d wel cumed me with the sou n d uf I aug hter.
I was born i ntu a fami ly of cumedian s.
We come frum a lung I i n e of royal cuu rt j esters.
My grand pa was th e fu n n i est cumedic g ruu p of h is ti me.
When cou ntry m usic was th e rage.
My grand pa fou n ded the
Pa-Plern comedy g ruu p.
When my g ran dpa died, my dad tuuk uver.
Th e on ly d ifferen ce i s n ow they perform at the restau rant.
I'm th e h ei r to th e Pa-Plern comedy th ron e.
Please welcome
Th e h ottest u p an d comi ng cumedian.
On the fu n ny scal e makes Jack Black I ook I i ke a featherweig ht.
B I ock C h ris Rock.
B u ry Ji m Carrey.
M akes Adam Sand I er furget h is lyri cs.
Afrai d to Edd i e M u rphy.
Send Rubi n Wi I l i ams Good Wi I l H u nti ng.
Please welcome
M r. Lortuck Pa-Plern!
Say hel I o to th e aud i ence.
Dun't be shy, put yuu r h ands dewn.
Nu n eed cover. Dun't be shy.
Dun't be shy. cumedian can't be shy. What's yuu r n ame?
My n ame i s T ock!
Hew many moms do you have?
J ust on e.
What the heck i s h e lau gh i ng at?
H i s dad? He i s h ere!
Watch uut h i s dad doesn 't kick both of yuu r butt to!
You got to wait fur the au dien ce to I aug h fi rst. Dun't lau gh fi rst.
Hew many mothers do you have?
One.
Hew many fathers?
One.
I meant fuu r!
U nfortu nately, th i s h ei r to th e cumedy th rune...
wasn't born with a fu n ny bon e.
So hew d i d my son du?
Not fu n ny, ri ght?
Si nce that day
dad h as never I et me go un stage with h i m ever agai n.
Let Pepo try.
Hey Pepu, taste th is.
Is it spi cy? I can't eat spi cy.
Not very spicy. J ust swal lew it al ready.
Th is i s n ot yuu r h ou se, su don 't be pi cky!
And th i s is th e fi n al huu r of the sh ow.
Here it i s. T he fi nal h ou r uf th e shew.
I went tu tape th i s days agu.
Please welcome M r. Pepu.
Here I cume.
Hey mom, check th is uut.
Th is part is h i lariuus.
You dun't luuk nervuus ur anyth i n g.
Wel I l was a I ittl e shy at fi rst.
B ut after yuu do 1 0 ur su tapes you j u st get u sed to it.
You ' re su ch a n atu ral.
It's j u st cabl e.
If you made it un "C omedy C entral " then you can tal k.
Cable has lots of vi ewers too you kn ow.
Du yuu want tu be on th e shew too? I can put i n a guud wurd fur yuu.
What did yuu say?
I can tal k tu them for you.
You can h ook me u p?
Y es, I can huuk you u p. I'm q u ite cluse tu the prud ucer. We're ti ght.
Nu, th at's uk.
I am su bu sy I can't even keep my own sch ed u I e!
You heard me.
B ut I see you at h ome everyday.
Hey! T h i s guy is real ly fu n ny.
Every ti me h e cumes out, everyune I aug hs.
Th e places yuu perform are fur amateu rs.
Once yuu make it un TV, then you ' re a prufessi on al.
Hey, why did yuu tu rn it uff? I was getti n g ready to I aug h my h ead uff.
J ust seei n g my face wi I l crack yuu u p!
Hey stop g ivi n g me a hard ti me. Why d i d you tu rn it off?
Gu ahead! T u rn it uff, if yuu can.
Cume un! Give it you r best sh ot.
See! You ' re sh ooti n g bl an ks.
You can't get past me if yuu tri ed.
So wh at du yuu say abuut th at? Y eah, yuu got me!
Th ose are real ly lame jukes. Hew can yuu dare to gu on TV?
If I were you, I wuu I dn 't. I'd be ashamed.
Why? T he muney is guud.
If I get on e more gig, I wi I l have en ou gh muney tu go buy a pi ece lan d.
Life of debau chery?
Hey, dun't steal the scen e yuu're ru i n i n g it fur me.
When you tal k th i s way yuu are fu n n ier th an on TV.
Th is i s h ow I n ormal ly tal k. When I am un TV I have to preten d.
You got to be mure I i ke me.
If I were to wal k i nto T esco Lotu s, the m i n ute I step my foot i n.
G i rls wi I l j ust start scream i n g for me!
Cau se you stepped on th ei r feet?
Or stole some gold n eckl aces?
Probably because yuu furgot to Zi p u p you r pants?
G rabbed sumeon e's tits, were smashed by elevatur doors, got electrocuted.
Or was thei r a bl ue I ig ht special on aisle 4?
What el se...
Or what?
Or h ow abuut fal I i n g dewn an escal ator?
B ut are yuu real ly goi ng tu stoop th at I ow?
Th at's une uf th e lamest jukes!
I wunder why al I of a sudden I feel real ly sl eepy.
M om...
T ock...
Ice cream!
M on, u n cl e Pepu is here agai n.
T ock, M on, yuu are back?
H i dad. H i mum.
Say hel I o to u ncle Pepo.
H i u ncle Pepo. Hel I o.
Hel I o u ncle Pepo.
H i, yuu guys are growi n g u p su fast. Study hard, okay?
Dad, h ere i s my repurt card.
T ock.
What is 1 i n Eng I ish?
One.
What abuut i n C h i nese?
Jeck.
Th e n u mber cuu nti ng gag is ul d. My parrot at h ome can even du it.
You have anyth i ng more chal I eng i n g?
Fi ne.
What is 1 1 i n En gl i sh?
One une
1 2? One twu
1 3? One th ree
Oh god i s th i s juke goi ng anywhere? Newh ere to gu?
1 3?
One T h ree
You dared tu n ame you r kid after Lurtock.
Not con si deri n g for a secon d, h e mig ht not be fu n ny?
1 3
One wh at?
Is th e Son gkran.
Very guud.
1 4?
Val enti ne's Day.
And 1 5th?
T ransvestite's Day
Why i s that?
Becau se th ey always say "Oh Su"!
Very guud sweety. Very smart my I ovely dau ghter!
Is sh e u p for sal e? You wan na sel I th i s on e?
Nu way, sh e's on e of the fu n n iest i n uu r grou p.
Is th is fu n ny?
Hew about yuu r J i m C arrey i m pressiun?
M ake yuu r mouth wi der, Mun.
Hew it is?
Y eah I i ke that. Su prou d.
New th at's fu n ny! Wi der ki ddo. Your sis i s really fun ny.
Once agai n that the 2n d
h ei r to th e th rune beat th e 1 st h ei r I i ke me,
Guud aftern oon, teach er and fri ends.
My n ame i s Pu ch i n an.
My n ame i s N i bi
My n ame i s Peng.
T oday we wuul d like tu present...
Th e tupi c is about "Si n gular an d Plural ".
Th ew, yuu start.
This i s a...
box.
Next
This i s a...
boxes.
Th ew, don 't pay attenti on to th e gram mar.
Th ere are 2 boxes, then ju st make it tu 2 wurds, got it?
Okay. And don 't forget to puse tuu.
Okay, do it agai n.
Th is i s a...
box, bux.
Y es.
New you r tu rn, Hoy.
Al I rig ht.
Th is i s a...
Are you su re?
Y es, my dad u sed th is gag befure. Th e whul e room wi I l be rol I i ng on th e fl oor.
Okay.
Al ready, agai n.
Th is i s a...
bowl.
Y es!
And fur the g ran d fi nale.
Th is i s a
bowl...
Why are there su many?
Cume un, I g uarantee th e teach er wi I l I aug h su h ard, sh e'l I sh it her pants.
Th is i s a...
bowl.
Hoy.
Hey yuu th i n k Hoy i s u pset?
I don 't th i n k so. He i s u sual ly qu ite shamel ess.
Hoy!
T axi!
Hey where are you gui n g?
Gotta gu. I got to ru n sume errands.
Hey, we're su ppused tu go to th e market togeth er.
Where the heck i s h e goi ng i n such a h u rry?
T axi!
Y eah, where the heck i s h e goi ng?
What the heck? H e even furgot h i s bag.
Y o, ful lew th at motorcycl e.
Y eah, ful lew th at motorcycl e tuu.
C I ose you r eyes.
A I ittle sti n g.
Hey don 't tou ch it! You wi I l mess u p my face.
Th e cl oser I l ook, th e u gl i er it i s.
If you th i n k H oy's face i s fu I l of pi m pl es,
yuu shuu I d see h i s si ster' s face!
Noth i ng at al l!
Th at's guud.
Nu!
When I sai d noth i ng at al l.
Th en yuu h ave tu say n o pi mples?
So I can fi n ish my j oke.
Okay? Fi ne.
Let's try agai n.
If you th i n k H oy's face i s fu I l of pi m pl es
yuu shuu I d see h i s si ster' s face.
Noth i ng at al l.
Nu pi m pl es?
Nu! N o space left!
My gag. T h i s is th e fi rst ti me anyon e ever lau gh ed at my j oke.
Reh earsi n g to perfurm sumewhere?
" Preeya Wan lertsi n, M. D. "
Can 't be j u st a mere mortal.
Sh e's got tu be an angel whu fel I from heaven.
I saw what the ductur did tu Hoy's face.
At th at secon d I wish ed tu h ave pi m pl es too.
"C auses uf Acne"
Th ese aren 't th e same?
Nu, but I th i n k we can put th em tugether.
Okay th en.
Hew come h e bou ght a smal I une?
Not I ou d en ou gh.
Th is i sn't luud enuug h.
Th is une certai n ly dues the trick.
You ' re g rewi ng yuu r n ose hai rs fur T arzan tu swi ng on?
You ' re getti ng ready fur a TV sh ooti n g, Plern?
TV sh ow, dun't be si I ly.
I j ust want tu check hew we set u p uu r jukes.
Hel I o.
Hel I o. Is th is Pa-Pl ern cumedy cum pany?
Y es, it i s.
I'm cal I i n g from Yi myi m BBQ restau rant.
We'd I i ke to have yuu r grou p perfurm at uu r restau rant.
What abuut un Friday?
J ust a sec let me check uu r booki n gs.
Wh i ch day?
Friday.
Th is F ri day? Currect.
Friday.
I knew I m ust be cal I i ng tuu late
yuu're probably booked al ready.
We have an upen i ng.
Oh real ly?
What abuut Satu rday and Su n day?
Wel l, fur Satu rday an d Su nday...
Y es?
I knew I sh ou ld n't even be aski n g I sh ou ld h ave knewn. You wou ld be fu I ly buuked al ready.
Nu problem at al l. We're avai lable!
Th en can you ch eck fur the rest uf th e week too.
Weekdays...
Th at's ri ght.
M on day an d Wed nesday?
From you r ton e of vui ce, n ever mi nd then.
If not
can you ch eck the remai n i ng days then?
Both are sti I l avai lable.
Oh real ly?
B ut un T u esday an d T h u rsday we are...
Al I booked u p rig ht?
Free too, thuse wi I l be th e best days fur u s!
So wh ich day aren 't we free?
Th an k you very m uch. Bye bye.
Plern.
Yi myi m's B BQ wants us to perfurm there.
Real ly?
You kn ow the prud ucer of " H a Ha H a Ha" goes to Yi myi m freq uently.
Th e produ cer uf " Ha H a Ha H a" gues there?
Hey, Pl ern!
So wh at?
So we mig ht get tu be on TV.
Th at duesn't h appen uften.
Plern, h e doesn 't want to be un TV. Isn 't th at ri ght, son?
Even uu r du ck wants tu be on TV.
J ust a cameu appearan ce un TV, my goodn ess.
And everyon e is al I excited.
Dad
Si nce yuu wi I l be un TV.
I wi I l th i n k uf a new gag, ukay?
Oh n o... Pl ease dun't.
Please dad? I wan n a h el p, j ust on e gag.
Su re.
C h u m. Y es, Plern.
M ake su re to gu tu the market tuday. T o buy wh at?
Pu n ch and I i mes an d make su re yuu get a I ot of it.
For wh at?
I'm gui n g to need a lot when I tel I T ock's pu nch I i ne.
Dad!
T ock i s a smal I g uy, but h e su re can drop " I i ke it's h ot" un stage.
M ou ntai n Ou ntai n may You an d I Ou yay Emay.
Ph u ket lslan d
Beach
H u nd red T huusand C ity.
Th e other day my dad tuuk me to M i I l iun C ity.
And where is th at?
It's 1 Zeru away from 1 00 T huusand C ity
Th is j oke i s da' bum b.
Wuu I d you bel i eve th i s is my dad?
You can't be seriuus?
Th is i s a du ck, n ot yuu r dad.
Y es th is i s my dad.
Nu, it's a du ck!
Hey I i sten si r. My dad died an d new reborn as th i s du ck.
Seri ou sly?
Of cou rse, why sh ou ld I l i e?
Even th e h ai rs on my arms are stan di ng u p.
And n ot j ust on my arms but on my butt tuu.
You dun't bel ieve me? Let me ask you r dad someth i ng then.
What do you want to ask my dad? Go ah ead.
Are you h i s dad? Are you ti red?
And does you r butt h u rt n ow?
Becau se C h u m i s sq ueeZi ng yuu r butt, rig ht dad?
And what are you dui n g here tuday, dad?
Ah!
Hew can my dad answer you?
Why are the twu of yuu sl eepi ng h ere?
T ock...
T ock, go take a shewer n ow. Gu! I ' m goi ng tu cuuk.
You g uys shuu I dn 't be sleepi n g here.
Is T uck on d rugs ur sumeth i n g?
I got a pi m pl e!
M on, can I burrew 200 baht?
Say it, dun't spray it.
Please 200 baht un ly.
Th at's a I ot of mon ey, what fur?
T o see a ductur.
Why?
J ust give me the muney, stop aski ng me su many q uestiuns.
I'm j u st kidd i n g. Ki ddi ng.
I wi I l ch arge i nterest 5 bath a day.
Okay.
With on e cund iti on, I go too!
Nu, you wi I l be i n my way.
Wel I it's either my way, or nu way!
Okay. Let's gu tugether.
Nu on e was sayi n g oth erwise.
I wuul d I ove my I ovely sister to tag al on g with me.
Ductur, you have to g ive h i m a sh ot?
What abuut th e faci al gel?
It i sn't enuug h fur a large pi m pl e I i ke th is, I n eed to i nject it.
So I ay dewn.
What did yuu do, h ow did it get su big?
He m ust be watch i ng porn.
M on!
Is th ere someth i ng wrung doctor?
You r sis i s su cute. Wh at i s h er n ame?
Cal l... My n ame i s M on.
Li ke Duraemun?
Nu. If yuu are gui n g to cal I my si ster by h er n ame Sal mun.
You got to say kn ock kn ock.
Sal mon an d ch eese, doctor.
We' re real ly related?
B ut if yuu were goi ng tu cal I me by my name, yuu got tu say knuck knuck.
Whu's there? T ock. Tick tuck yuu knew you can't stop I aug h i n g.
T ock. Whu's there?
It's Lurtock, I i ke th e legendary cumedian.
M on, stop spoi I i ng my juke.
What abuut you, what is you r n i ckn ame?
It's " lce".
Ice?
So you r fam i ly makes lce cu bes?
Y es, h ow did yuu knew?
Oh I was j ust ki ddi ng. I was tryi n g to be fu n ny.
Actual ly, my huuse does sel I ice cu bes.
I was n amed after the fam i ly busi ness.
My dad gave me my n ame.
So it's a lce's shup as i n I ce, rig ht?
Of cou rse it ice.
What am I sayi n g here?
You g uys are fu n ny.
Am I h eari ng h er rig ht?
Sh e actual ly th i n ks I ' m fu n ny.
Everyune i n uu r fami ly I i n e is fu n ny tu the bune.
If I have any qu esti on s abuut pi mples,
Can I cal I yuu?
Of cou rse.
Here cal I th is n u m ber, okay.
I'm here everyday, except Su n day.
T ake care and don 't sleep tuu late. You wi I l h ave more pi m pl es.
Okay.
T ake care and don 't sleep tuu late. You wi I l h ave more pi m pl es.
I th i n k she m ust h ave feel i ngs for me.
Gush T uck! She i s a ski n doctor.
she m ust say that tu yuu! It's h er professiun.
Th ew, yuu don 't u nderstand su sh ut u p.
And if you haven 't noticed, she i s I i ke 1 0 years ul der than you.
If you 've n ever been i n I ove, yuu wi I l never u nderstand. Rig ht, T ock?
Th at's ri ght.
What ki n d uf medici ne d i d sh e give yuu, I et me see.
Hey why d i d you th row my pi I ls?
You want to be cu red or you want to see her agai n?
M an, you ' re a gen i us d ude.
Gush H oy, I th i n k i nstead of th rewi ng thuse pi I Is away.
You sh ou ld h ave kept sume for you r face!
D i d you use the cream I i ke I i nstructed you to?
If sh e asks you, did yuu u sed th e cream?
Th en yuu h ave tu say.
Y es.
Th en she wi I l ask
h ow cume th e pi m pl e doesn 't get any smal ler?
Why th en isn 't th e pi m pl e getti n g smal ler?
Th en yuu h ave tu say
I th i n k I'm gui n g th rou gh pu berty ductur.
And then if yuu are gui n g to ask her uut.
Dun't ask whether sh e wi I l gu with yuu or not.
M ake it q u i ck and j ust say the pl ace yuu wi I l take h er.
Ductur, du yuu I i ke to eat ru m p or ruast beef?
Th ere's th is une guud restau rant arou n d here.
T ru st me. Sh e can 't refuse.
I don 't eat beef.
I'm worsh i p Ku an Yi n.
We al I have a C asanuva i n ou rselves.
You j u st have to bri n g it out.
You kn ow pork is guud tuu.
My stomach i s acti n g u p lately. I don 't feel I i ke eati ng meat.
What abuut seafuud?
I'm al I erg i c tu sh ri mp.
Th e fi sh is very fresh.
I th i n k fi sh smel I fu n ny.
Th en h ow abuut eggs and rice?
T oday I am un a vegetabl e diet.
A dish uf Ki mj i mig ht be ukay?
What?
Nu, noth i ng.
Actual ly I can eat anyth i ng.
B ut today I am not free. Next ti me I can.
Real ly, doctor?
Y es!
I'm i n a guud mood, because I'm happy.
Nu surrews, hew can't I be h appy.
Love i s I i kes a Banyan tree.
It's bl ossoms keepi n g us cool i n it's sh ade.
I feel sti I l I i ke the water i n an earthen u rn.
So I ' m free when I am i n I ove.
Everyth i ng is del i ci ou s.
Everyth i ng is so tasty.
I sl eep so peacefu I ly.
Cuntent with myself.
Sh e is gui n g un a date with me!
Excu se me, does Dr. Ice h ave a lot uf pati ents tuday?
We dun't al lew pets i n here.
What ti me is sh e goi ng tu be free?
Let me ch eck h er sch ed u I e.
Sh e is not avai I abl e tuday.
Sh e's al I booked.
Can you see an other ductur?
Nu that's okay.
D r. I ce! You fi n i shed work al ready?
What are you dui n g with a d uck?
Th is i s n ot a du ck. Th is i s my dad rei n carn ated, ri ght?
Dad, th i s is Dr. Ice.
Dad, I'm gui n g to take D r. I ce uut ton ig ht.
So can I cume hume I ate?
What shuu I d we eat?
Wel I you sai d we can gu eat n ext ti me.
Okay, let's go. What abuut th e restau rant acruss the street?
It's very guud.
Let's gu. I ' m real ly h u n gry.
Let's al I gu tugether kiddu?
I don 't th i n k I wi I l go th en.
Why not?
Al I of a sudden my dad sai d we shuu I d gu h ome.
Ri ght, dad?
Ri ght?
Oh I see! Apparently h e h ad the u rge to puu.
Sh al I we gu tumurrew?
T omorrow I only work h alf-day.
We can meet fur I u nch.
Okay.
T ock...
Stup...
T ock, grand ma i s i n the huspital.
What's wrung with grand ma?
Hup i n and I'll tell yuu on th e way. M om an d dad are at th e h ospital.
All right.
What h appen ed tu yuu, ma'am?
I h ave a h eadach e, fever.
Not en ou gh rest.
Feel weak.
Can 't eat, can 't sleep.
Restless, h epatiti s, i n digestiun.
everyth i n g tastes blan d, h eartbu rn.
Osteoporosi s, toothache.
I ntesti n al pulyps, bad breathe.
I vum it i n the murn i n g an d even i ng, dizzy al I th e ti me.
I h ave bru ises an d wou n ds, dan druff.
cunsti patiun, bl u rry eye si ght,
scabi es un my knees an d el bews.
Psuri asis.
Scu rvy.
And h ig h bluud pressu re!
If you have al I th ose sym ptoms, why d i d you j u st come see me?
Ou r car bruke down.
What h appen ed tu the car?
F au lty breaks, a I oose cl utch, bruken gear.
En gi ne stal I s, fractu red gear shaft.
M om.
Stup messi n g arou n d. Please tel I th e doctor wh at i s wrung!
You too! Let it go someti mes.
Nu n eed to j oke arou n d al I th e ti me.
So wh at's real ly wron g with you?.
I cuug h.
You wi I l h ave tu take cou gh syru p.
Al I n ig ht.
So you need tu take pi I l s.
U nti I murn i n g.
Okay th en l'l I g ive you a sh ot.
With bluud.
Th en yuu n eed an X-ray.
Can I see you r medici ne?
J ust cuug h syru p! Th at's it?
My goodn ess, when he cal led I th ou ght yuu were dyi n g!
Look at T uck, weari ng al I wh ite al ready.
I thuug ht he was al ready i n muu rn i n g.
Watch you r muuth!
Or yuu wi I l en d u p picki n g u p the tab.
M om, cume un if you treat me th i s ti me,
I pay you back d u ri n g you r fu n eral offeri n g.
T ock.
I was gon n a ask yuu, where are you gui n g al I d ressed u p?
Newh ere.
You have a date for su re?
Nu, I dun't.
You have a date to watch cartuuns?
It's 3 : 00 P.M. al ready, I th i n k yuu're tuu late.
Gush! T ock, aren 't you sti I l un baby formu la
and n ow yuu h ave a gi rlfri end?
You kn ow there's n o need tu get al I d ressed u p.
G i rls always fal I for fu n ny guys.
Why du yuu h ave a chupsti ck i n you r hai r?
See, h ow I ittle it takes tu make h er lau gh.
Stup it.
You ' re maki n g a mess.
Si I ly.
Dun't...
What did yuu say?
He sai d, don 't mess with th e ru nt.
Ri ght?
Why wh at d i d you hear?
B utt!
If hate me dun't sayi n g I i ke that.
I'm gui n g to th e restruum.
Th is's q u ite entertai n i n g?
Where are you gui n g? Don 't get i n thei r ways.
Aren 't you gui n g to dan ce with th em, g i rl?
C ut it out!
D r. I ce.
Hey T ock.
Please h ear me uut. I did n't mean to stan d you u p.
I can expl ai n.
My grand ma got sick.
I h ad tu ru sh tu the huspital.
B ut sh e is feel i n g better n ow.
T ock!
You ' re prubably i n a h u rry so I ' I l see yuu later.
I'm not h u rry.
D r. I ce. Hel I o.
Everyune, th i s is Dr. Ice. T ock gues see D r. I ce for h i s pi m pl es.
Hel I o. Hel I o.
Th is i s my dad, my mum, an d th is i s grand ma.
Th is i s u n cl e Gun, U n cl e C h u m,
U ncle Ru am m it, an d U n cl e Pi ne-top.
T ock sai d you are si ck. Hupe noth i ng seriuus.
G ran dma is very well.
Sh e is perfectly healthy.
We are a very h ealthy fami ly.
When my fath er was al ive even at th e age 70.
Al su can dui n g I i ke th i s.
A Budybu i I der?
C ri ppled!
Are you dune with you r sh oppi ng?
Ready to gu? I wi I l hel p with the cart.
Okay.
Bye. N ice tu meet yuu.
Bye.
Bye, T uck.
Bye.
For me
It was as if sh e said.
F arewel I T uck.
When I j u st saw you th e very fi rst ti me
I felt a bund as if we've knewn
I can 't expl ai n it.
It's I i ke we met i n anoth er I ifeti me.
Jack Joh n sun
Same feel i n g, j ust luuki ng at you, I knew you got me.
B ut I can on ly I ook at you.
M ich ael Jacksun
I want tu h old and cherish you.
But it is too I ate. I dun't want tu steal yuu away.
B ruce Spri ngsteen
I wi sh I'd met yuu before yuu bel on ged tu sumeon e.
M ari lyn Man sun
I wi sh fur a mi racl e, une th at cou ld tu rn back ti me.
Boy Geurge
So we wun't miss each other and I can fal I i n luve with yuu fi rst.
Wi I l ie N el sun
New it's tuu late. What a pity.
Ti na T u rner
Du mi racl es exi st?
Y eah, yuu got the rhyth m.
Any mure pati ents?
J ust a secund.
Th ere i s Wuth i nan at 5: 00 PM.
B ut he hasn't cume yet.
We have new outfits. Hey, i s th i s cum i n g uut uf uu r pay?
Nu.
Not ducki n g you r pay. Th ere's noth i ng tu dock.
Hey Plern.
We' re j u st perfurm i n g at the Yi myi m BBQ ton ig ht. Why du we need n ew u n ifurms?
Plern had some cut
j ust i n case we wuu I d be un TV.
You have it al I wrung, mum.
We are performi ng at Yi myi m, su I want it to d ress th e part.
Th e place i s cal I ed Yi myi m!
Real ly? Y es!
C h uen. What abuut my u n ifurm?
You can't fi n d it? Look agai n, it's i n on e of the bags.
I luuked i n every bag, and can 't fi nd it.
Let me take a luuk th en.
I am su re I g rabbed everyth i n g from th e shup.
T ry anoth er pose.
Gun, gu stand tu Ruammit's I eft.
Left si de? Okay.
Dad. What's u p, sun?
I got a n ew gag for you.
Okay, shuot.
Y esterday I went to M i I l iun city
D i d you get it?
Where is it?
Ruammit, cume here.
I want yuu tu be stand cl oser to th is side.
Or el se every ti me we take a pictu re al I uf us. We' I l h ave tu pose agai n.
C h u m, are yuu don e?
Al ready.
Cume here.
You desi gn ed th i s su it? Y es!
So many stars.
Is th is a su it ur plan etari u m?
Pi ne-top!
I can 't fi nd it yet!
You ' re th e on ly une I eft. H u rry u p!
Th ere's noth i ng at th e bottom uf th e bag either.
Oh my god.
My goodn ess.
M on, that's u n cl e Pi ne-top's su its!
Du yuu want my shues tuu?
Stan d pruud and luuk i ntu the camera.
Hey do I i ke the cameraman and stay focused fur a secund wi I l you?
Th e su its are expensive.
Put yuu r h and u p I i ke th i s. T h i s luuks cuul.
Are we cumedian s or fi I mi ng a movi e?
You ' re a pu n k, shurty.
Whu's shurt?
I wi I l be tal ler th an yuu n ext year.
My fuot.
Dun't even th i n k abuut it.
Never m i n d, j ust step on me wh enever.
Ready?
Be cross.
Get ready.
Smi I e, smi I e.
One, two, th ree.
I want th i s pictu re to I ook good.
Ready, One, two, th ree.
M om.
Okay ready, al I at unce.
M om.
I am goi ng out tu see my fri ends.
Okay, ready?
Okay!
Pa-Plern C omedy g ruup!
T oday th e weath er is very hot. Very sun ny everyday. Hew i s it th ere?
Rai n i n g?
Seri ou sly.
I can 't gu back th i s weekend. A lot uf ducturs are taki n g uff.
Nu on e tu h el p Dr. Th i p.
Nu, I d i dn 't say sh e broke her h i p.
I said n o une to hel p D r. T h i p.
I can 't take any ti me uff yet. I h aven't even been worki n g here a month yet.
Y es we tal k someti mes.
2 beef barbecue sti cks.
Wel I he stud i es very hard and is very busy wurki ng.
Here yuu go.
I don 't kn ow either. Hew m uch?
20 baht.
What? 20 baht.
J ust a I ittle.
I don 't kn ow.
Dun't get u pset.
M i I k, pl ease.
M om it is very nui sy here. I wi I l cal I you agai n I ater.
Bye mom.
Hey T ock.
D r. I ce. Are you alune?
Hew come yuu did n't shew u p fur ou r appoi ntment?
I wasn't free. I went uut with my g i rlfrien d.
What abuut you r boyfri end. He d i dn 't come with yuu?
Th e guy I met at T escu Lotus.
Th at's Dr. Th i p's boyfrien d.
D r. T h i p's boyfri end? Y eah!
And whu are you buyi ng the m i I k fur yuu r gi rlfri end?
Actual ly, I dun't h ave a gi rlfri end yet.
Hew m uch i s it? 1 0 baht.
I'l I get it th is ti me.
Next ti me it's yuu r treat.
And n o need tu get al I d ressed u p.
J ust casual is fi ne.
Th an k you.
Hey doc, you kn ow we are...
actual ly eati n g hurse meat!
Real ly?
Seri ou sly?
You see th ere are sesame seeds!
Have une hurse!
And these ch opsticks on ce belunged to a muvie d i rectur.
Hew du yuu knew?
See. C ut! C ut!
You kn ow yuu're the un ly person
Is th at ri ght?
Y eah!
What made you come tu Lopbu ri provi n ce?
You I i ke mon keys?
When I was an i ntern, I u sed to work with D r. T h i p.
When I g radu ated, Dr. Th i p then has a cl i n i c h ere.
So sh e asked me to come wurk with her.
You dun't h ave tu cal I me ductur, j u st I ce i s fi n e.
Okay, lce.
Hew come I n ever met you befure?
Wel I it was lung ti me agu. You were prubably i n ki ndergarten back then.
Hew ul d are yuu n ow?
I am 1 2 tu rn i ng 1 3.
I am 1 2 years older th an yuu!
And n ow
we pruud ly present the must famou s cumedy shew i n Mun key T ewn.
Plern, they want u s tu perform at the BBQ restau rant.
You kn ow the prud ucer of " H a Ha H a Ha" always gu there.
We are performi ng at Yi myam, su I want tu luuk g reat.
"Yi myi m BBQ"
Nu, th e restu rant is cal led Yi myi m
And n ow please welcome the Pa-Pl ern cumedy shew.
Th an k you very m uch an d hel I o everyune.
So we meet agai n.
T on ig ht we wi I l present the stury uf T itan ic.
Hey isn 't th at you r dad's comedy g ruu p?
I don 't th i n k so.
Th ey prubably j u st I ook si mi I ar.
You ' re m i staken.
Ice, I et's gu tu anoth er restau rant.
Th e fuud is better at th is oth er place.
Th e pork h ere smel ls.
Th e sau ce i s as bl and as water. It's ru i n i ng my appetite.
I th i n k it tastes okay. Ki nd of tasty.
Hey there's yuu r dad!
He dan ces su cute! C an yuu dance I i ke th at?
Stup!
En ou gh!
Lad i es an d gentl emen,
please welcome
A risi ng su perstar
Anyth i n g wron g?
Noth i ng. An u p an d comi ng cumedian i n T hai I and.
On the fu n ny scal e th i s person makes Jack B I ack luuk I i ke a feath erwei ght.
B I ock C h ris Rock.
B u ry Ji m Carrey.
You su re yuu are ukay?
I th i n k my dad is gui n g to cal I me u p un stage.
T ock, yuu h ave tu perform too?
I'm not su re.
Gu fur it!
Everyune, please welcome...
Sal mon Pa-Pl ern!
Cume here. She i s my yuu ngest kid.
And h e is my eldest dad.
I'm th e el dest dad, and whu is th e yuugest dad th en?
This guy.
And whu is your mi ddle dad?
And what do you have th ere?
A sheep.
Nu, I ' m sure it's a du ck.
It's a sh eep.
It's a sh eep cause I al ready broke th e Bank.
It's not my turn. It's my sister' s.
All right everyune,
Actual ly we have une mure member
I'd I i ke tu i ntrodu ce you to
M r. Lortuck Pa-Plern.
Y es you! Cume here. Th e on e whu's sitti ng with the hotti e.
Y es, yuu T ock!
Gu up, yuur dad is calli n g you.
Let's give a ruund of appl ause fur Lortuck Pa-Plern.
My disti n guish ed gu ests I would like to ask,
Why du yuu ask?
If th ey are full then pl ease reserve
a small pl ace i n the restroom for th is boy.
Th is kid is a comed i c gen i u s.
When he steps fuot un stage, peupl e bu rsts out i nto I aug hter.
Please welcome h i m tu the stage.
What wrung?
Sorry I am late.
I j ust got back frum 1 00 Th ou san d C ity.
And?
Nu...
I'm sorry I'm I ate.
I j ust got back frum M i I l i on C ity.
Where the heck i s M i I l i on C ity?
Wel l, it i s j ust a I ittle fu rther frum 1 00 Th ou san d C ity.
B ut befure I arrived 1 00 Th ou san d city
I stopped by at T en T huusand C ity
He i s sti I l tryi ng.
See, the au dien ce i s si lent.
Th is i s my n ephew, but my buss's sun.
Please pay you r respect to h i s dead j oke.
Dad! Y es, sweeti e?
I went tu M i I l i on C ity tuu.
Oh yeah?
And I bou ght sumeth i n g.
What did yuu buy?
Th e ki n d uf stuff that is d ifficu It to fi nd.
Th is pi ggy ban k was d ifficu It to fi nd?
Y es.
Hew so?
Some shups have it and sume dun't.
Let's hear it for my dau ghter' s fu n ny juke.
And yuu, dun't tel I anyune you are my sun.
It's embarrassi ng.
Du yuu h ave any oth er talents sweety?
I can recite th e mu lti pl icatiun table backwards.
J ust reciti ng the tabl e n ormal ly i s diffi cu lt and yuu can du it backwards?
Sh ow me!
2x 1 = 2, 2x2 =4
2x3 = 6, 2x2 =8
2x5 = 1 0
I am n ot fu n ny.
Nu on e lau gh s at my j okes.
Nu matter hew m uch I try, it's n ot fu n ny
Da-d u m crash is a sou n d I never hear.
My shew always si len ce.
J ust si len ce.
You r dad's j u st kidd i n g.
B ut it h u rts.
I u n derstan d.
It h u rts.
T ock, don 't th i n k too m uch.
Nu, I mean my h and. It real ly h u rts.
Let me see.
Hul d un.
For su ch a smal I scratch yuu su re make a I ot of n oise.
Cume un, j u st sti n g a bit.
Th ese bandages sh ould do it.
I am surry.
For wh at?
If I get a pi m pl e, I will charge yuu fur the bill.
Plern.
Th e R. I. P gag was really fun ny.
Y eah!
Du yuu thi nk we sh ould h ave T ock
Th at's a guud idea. Y eah, I thi nk su tuu.
Hell o...
Why du yuu guys always tease hi m? You mi ght hurt his feeli n gs.
Cheun, our kid isn 't fun ny.
If I say he i s fun ny,
then I dun't thi nk I wuul d du hi m justi ce.
And where is uur sun? Hew come yuu guys di dn 't come h ome tugether.
Th ere he i s.
T ock
Di d you take yuur gi rlfri end h ome or somethi ng?
You see.
He's givi n g you th e silent treatment.
This i sn't just a typical sil ent treatment.
He I ooks like h e's goi ng tu silen ce uf th e Lamb.
Y eah sil ent.
Guud on e, j ot it dewn. I like this gag.
Sil ence of the Lamb.
A lunesume cowboy
Nu on e knews whu his parents are, where h e is from.
Even un his g raveston e there is nu n ame.
Hi s body is ri ddled with woun ds and scars
frum fi ghti n g un the battle field.
B ut h i s brutal reputatiun
spread far an d wide th rou gh out
Ban gkuk, Bal i, Sai gon, Si ngapore
I ndunesi a, Korea, Japan
and M al aysi a.
Th ere i s a fu ry bu rn i n g i n si de h is heart
T oday he will take reven ge on hi s enemy.
He walks to th e door
sl owly opens it
and shuuts...
M om, where are th e fri ed garlic chives?
M on ate th em all.
But th ere i s sume cu stard bread I eft.
Plern.
Why du yuu I i ke to tease T uck?
I did n't.
I was tryi ng tu make u p with h i m.
He hasn't tal k to you yet, rig ht?
What did yuu do to h i m th at
made h i m th is u pset?
T ock.
Please excuse u s. I want to tal k tu dad.
So wh at d i d you du tu h i m th i s ti me?
Hel I o?
Y es, it's Pa-Pl ern cumedy grou p.
Y es!
What's that?
Oh yuu are cal I i n g from " Ha H a Ha H a"?
Okay. Y es, we are avai lable.
Plern! Ha H a Ha H a is un the I i ne.
they're luuki ng fur a n ew comed i an tu repl ace Pepu.
Th ey want us to gu tu an aud iti on.
What shew?
" H a Ha H a Ha", you kn ow!
Oh yeah?
You dun't want tu go?
Fi ne. I wi I l tel I them.
I'm sorry...
For keepi ng yuu waiti ng fur su lung.
Y es, we are available.
1 0: 30 P.M.? Okay.
See you th en. Bye.
Excu se me. Is Dr. Ice h ere?
I got h er sume m i I k.
Sh e is not here. She went to th e h ospital.
Is sh e si ck?
Sh e's been th rowi n g u p al I morn i ng.
Probably fuud poison i ng frum the BBQ.
Real ly?
You have food pui sun i n g?
Hew come I am okay.
Hew are yuu feel i ng?
I feel I i ke th rewi ng u p.
T al ki n g I i ke that, peupl e wi I l th i n k you are preg nant.
Y es!
So i s it d i arrhea or gas?
I'm pregn ant.
Preg nant as i n with a baby?
Real ly?
" Physi cal h ealth textbuuks"
Five ti mes seven eq uals 35
Pl us 2
Th en over...
7 Over 7.
After uver...
37 uver 7.
M r. Wuth i n u n, class 6/3, there's a cal I for you at the Admi n office.
Hel I o
Hel p yuu with what?
Hey! Pl ease dun't do th at!
Please cl ear th e way, excu se me.
Sh e cul lapsed with bl ood al I uver. Dun't knew wh at happened.
Students, please stand u p.
Th an k you, teach er.
Excu se me, is Dr. Ice h ere?
Nu. She went to Bang kok si n ce th is murn i n g.
Why?
I don 't kn ow.
Du yuu h ave h er add ress?
Nu, I dun't.
" Preeya's lce Sh op"
" Bang kok, th e termi nal"
" Preeya's lce Sh op"
Is you r name lce?
Is th ere un ly lce whu I ives h ere? Anyon e n amed M i ss I ce-Preeya?
Her name is I ce.
And my n ame i s Preeya.
Whu are you I ooki n g for?
Hel I o
M r. G uan g, what can I du fur yuu tuday?
I can 't hear yuu.
2 blucks uf i ce?
You wanted it cru shed an d del ivered. Sorry, I got to put you un h old.
M om, I h ave tu go new.
You are goi ng back al ready? You j u st got here.
Y es, I knew but th e cl i n i c is q u ite busy.
Al I rig ht. Cal I me wh en yuu arrive.
Hel I o M r. Gu ang, we wi I l del iver th at ri ght the way.
2 blucks uf I ce. C rush ed. Y es, ukay.
" Preeya's lce Sh op"
Is th is Dr. Ice-Preeya's I ce sh op?
Sh e al ready went back tu Lopbu ri.
I wi I l gu see h er there then.
Is you r con ditiun that bad?
Y es.
I am very si ck, luve si ck.
What did yuu say?
Never m i n d. Guud bye.
Hey ki d, the expressway tul l.
Here.
" Bang kok, Lup B u ri "
Hey what's th i s?
Here's the ticket.
Sorry, my bus I eaves i n the murn i n g.
You r bus al ready I eft.
You tri ppi n g?
Hel I o may I tal k to mum.
Hel I o, th i s is Barack Obama.
What govern ment needs i s ad u It su pervi si on
Th is i s me, T uck. I need tu tal k to Mum!
You r mum is new puupi n g.
Cume un u n cl e Ruammit, I'm ru n n i n g uut uf coi ns.
Okay...
C h uen, the phune. It's for you.
Th an ks. Okay.
Hel I o? Hel I o, mom?
Y es T uck. Wh at's it, son?
New I ' m...
" Bangkok, Lup Buri "
Excu se me
Can I hitch a ri de?
I will pay yuu when I arrive i n Lopburi.
Poor chil d
Looks at yuu...
Okay, go sit at the front of the bus.
Gush nu XXL siZe or somethi ng?
Let's hit the ruad.
" M r. Wuthi nun Likitj aruen ph on g."
Where h ave yuu been?
Where h ave yuu been, T ock? Wh ere?
You kn ow everyon e is worried about yuu!
We have been luuki ng al I over th e tewn!
Was it fu n?
You are goi ng tuu far new.
Why are yuu doi ng th i s? Why?
Was it fu n? Was it?
Why dun't yuu answer?
What's i n yuu r mouth?
Answer me! Why!
Hew can yuu be su i ncon si derate?
Why dun't yuu answer me! Why!
T ock!
Where h ave yuu been?
You kn ow that dad h as been luuki ng fur yuu al I n ig ht.
I ran i nto h i m al ready.
I did n't go du anyth i n g bad.
I cal I ed yuu, but my muney ran out fi rst.
Th en go take a shewer. An d we can tal k later.
Gu take a sh ower new.
T ock, yuu are back?
Y es!
Where did yuu go I ast n ig ht?
Stup aski n g me so many qu esti on s? Gu take a sh ower.
And why d i d you wear th is to sleep?
We were gui n g to be un TV I ast n ig ht.
B ut dad went I ooki n g for you. So we cuu I dn 't make it.
You r muney... I tuuk it.
I wi I l pay yuu back.
And I wi I l buy you a new piggy ban k.
Nu, you dun't h ave tu.
Th ere are sume cu rries left. Gu eat it.
C h uen.
It's guud that h e is back an d ukay.
C heu n.
Y es mum.
Usu al ly T uck isn 't a trou ble maker.
C heu n.
J ust a sec, mum.
B ut I ately, I notice h e h as been keepi n g to h i mself.
I wunder wh at's un h is m i n d.
Y eah!
I was tryi ng tu tel I you, si n ce you menti on ed abuut th e cu rry.
B ut you kept sayi ng.
You gu i n fi rst.
Are you d itch i ng cl ass tu go somewh ere?
Y esterday my mum tul d me some ki d came by
juki ng that h e was si ck. Love sick.
I j ust want tu tel I you
it i s dangerou s tu go to Bang kok al on e.
Please don 't have an aborti on!
If you real ly have nu on e,
I wi I l be th e father.
Are you crazy? You are j ust a ki d, h ow can you be a fath er.
I'm seri ou s. I ' m n ot juki ng.
Even th ou gh you dun't luve me, th at's ukay.
I remember every word
that D r. I ce sai d to me.
D r. I ce an d her boyfri end stu died i n th e same cl ass.
And rig ht after grad uati on,
h er boyfrien d got a schul arsh i p tu stu dy i n the U SA.
And abuut a munth after h e left, she fou n d uut th at sh e got preg nant.
I'm very confused and I don 't kn ow h ow tu tel I h i m.
Hew come?
Becau se...
we have never tal ked about marri age.
B ut if h e real ly luves you. He wi I l be respon si ble.
Th e more h e luves me,
the mure I dun't want h i m tu knew.
Why?
Becau se he wi I l h ave tu give u p h i s sch olarsh i p
j ust tu cume back to marry me.
I wi I l feel gu i lty...
fur the rest uf my I ife.
My goodn ess, you sou n d I i ke Ruse frum Titan i c.
B ut actu al ly, I don 't have th e h eart tu tel I h i m.
M aybe I'm afraid h e wi I l d u m p me.
So wh at are we gui n g to du then?
Let me exami ne you r face.
If I want to have clear ski n I i ke th is, is it tuu late?
Hew i s my face hul di ng u p? Sti I l ti ght?
B ut tig ht I i ke th i s, yuu got tu check uut my wife's face.
It's tig hter than th is even.
Beh i nd h er ears?
Hey, you ' re fu n ny h ave yuu si gn ed with anyon e yet?
T ock i s h ere a I ot. An d always tel I me j okes.
Duc, yuu're very cl ose to my son.
Du yuu knew wh at h i s problem i s?
Du yuu th i n k T ock can become a cumedian?
I don 't kn ow.
He duesn't h ave the kn ack fur cumedy.
Why dun't yuu be strai ght with h i m.
Wel l, if he wants tu be a stand-u p comic,
As a fath er, hew can I say sumeth i n g I i ke that tu h i m?
You dun't th i n k T ock al ready kn ows h i mself?
Du yuu knew why T ock tries su h ard?
Becau se he i s afrai d th at if h e is not fu n ny,
then h i s dad wun't luve h i m.
" M r. Wuth i n u n Li kitj aruen pon g, cl ass 6/3"
"Joke basi cs : Set u p, Bu i I d u p, Pu nch -I i ne, and Payoff"
" Photo j oke..."
"About the tu rtl e h u mor..."
" H i I l is my..."
"T h i s juke is about the mun k"
"Wel cume to j oke"
" F an for en gl i sh is fan"
"On ce agai n th at th e 2nd h ei r to th e cumedy th rune I eaves me stand i n g i n th e du st"
"Si n ce th en my dad h as never i nvited me un stage agai n "
Remem ber, my mom can't see me dri n ki ng I i ke th is, al I rig ht!
Why, yuu r mom wi I l scold yuu? Nu, sh e wi I l g rab it and dri n k it h erself.
Have a seat.
Hey what's u p T uck?
You I ook I i ke a half eaten banan a
Want a si p? M i ght feel better.
Nu...
Hey T ock i s sti I l a boy.
When Pl ern gets h ere, h e wuu I d ki I l u s.
M ix it with suda ur water?
J ust Pepsi.
Hey if Pl ern cumes back,
I wi I l slap h i s face, take uff h is cloth es, ki ck h i m uut
rou gh h i m u p, and steal h is ex-wife an d new wife al I i n une breath.
Hey C h u m what h ave yuu been tou ch i n g?
I've been h old i n g th e fi sh that yuu cau ght.
Th at's why my h ead smel Is I i ke dead fish.
Is th is expi red Pepsi?
B itter I i ke a pi I l.
Hey that's my glass.
" N u mbers 555"
I mig ht sti I l be a kid
but my h eart is I i ke a man.
Have you al I ever been i n luve?
When we luve sumeon e
we can do anyth i ng fur that person.
I luve h er very mu ch.
I ful lewed h er tu Ban gkuk
tri ed tu h el p her.
B ut I was usel ess.
I've never been tu Ban gkuk
but I went because of h er.
Why dun't yuu h ave a seat, T ock?
Sit dewn son.
Nu, I dun't want tu sit.
I am n ot dru n k!
See I am not d ru n k.
T ock.
You r dad.
Plern.
Cume have a seat.
Hey yuu're h ome really late. Where h ave yuu been?
He ju st had une si p.
What ti me is it?
I got tu go. I am goi ng tu don ate fuud tu the munks.
Hey thi s late, the munks are not even awake yet.
Wel l, I wi I l wake them up.
You guys don 't even kn ow where the munks live.
Dun't wurry I will take you.
Buss, wh at about me?
T ake the buuZe with yuu.
Th ank you buss.
Hey yuu guys are leavi ng al ready?
We can't stay.
Bye.
Why dad?
I don 't u nderstand.
Hew i s it th at a persun can du su mu ch fur sumeon e?
Y es.
Du yuu even knew wh o I ' m tal ki ng abuut?
Wel I wh o th e h eck are you tal ki n g about then?
D r. I ce.
Whu el se!
So wh at about D r. I ce?
Sh e's preg nant.
With whu?
I wi sh it were me, dad!
B ut sh e got preg nant with h er boyfrien d.
So wh at's th e problem th en?
T ock...
Hel I o.
Dad, why i s it so bitter?
Let it al I out, dun't h old anyth i n g back.
T ake of yuur shues, son.
Th e both of yuu luuk th e same.
Gu Plern, go take a shewer n ow. I will I ook after hi m.
Okay.
M om.
I want tu knew hew fun ny do I have to be
tu get dad to I ove me?
Why are yuu tal ki ng like th at?
Becau se I am not fu n ny I i ke Mun, ri ght?
Th at's why dad doesn 't I ove me.
Hew can yuu th i n k that.
B ut i sn't it tru e, mum?
T ock, if anyune has the ri ght tu feel th is way,
it m ust be M on, n ot yuu.
Remem ber th e M other' s Day when you ' re i n ki ndergarten?
Students, please pay respects
by pi n n i n g th e fl ower to you r moth er.
Students, please pay respects
by pi n n i n g th e fl ower to you r moth er.
I remember yuu came late.
Nu, I d i dn 't even gu.
Y es, yuu did.
Hew cou ld l? I gave bi rth to Mun that day.
What does Mun's bi rth day h ave anyth i n g to du with th i s?
T ock, I gave bi rth to Mun at th e h ospital that day
su h ow cuu I d have I gune to you r schuul 's event?
Th i n k carefu I ly, whu went that day.
Students, please pay respects
by pi n n i n g th e fl ower to you r moth er.
You d i dn 't th i n k mum my wuu I d m i ss uut un tuday, d i d you?
Cume!
Better late th an n ever.
New everyune pi n th e Jasm i n e on to you r mum.
Everyune was so busy at th e h ospital.
B ut you r dad was wurri ed abuut you r schuul event.
M om, can I bri n g my sister to pl ay u p?
B ut i n th e futu re, and n ow yuu r si ster is too you n g.
So if h e did n't luve yuu, h e wuu I dn 't gu th ruug h al I the trou ble.
One, two, th ree
What are you I ooki n g?
Dad, did yuu take th is pi ctu re?
Y es, why?
It's bl u rry.
B ut I l i ke it.
Let's gu tu Yi myi m B BQ tun i ght.
I nvite D r. I ce too, okay!
Dun't be shy.
You gotta be brave if yuu want tu be a h eru.
Look at th is g i rl, she duesn't cume from an urd i n ary fam i ly.
Th at means her fam i ly i s rich.
Okay!
Hew m uch?
Never sat un a bu s.
Th at's pretty wealthy.
Nu, cause she's always h as to stan d.
Where did yuu go to schuul?
I nternati on al schuul.
Hew m uch i s yuu r tu iti on? 200 pou n ds.
Pou n d?
Nu that's h ow many puu nd cakes I h ad tu sel l.
Hew i s the dug at hume dui n g? Why?
D i d you kn ow yuu r dog's teeth are yel lew?
Are th ey?
Y eah, yuu r dog I oves tu eat sh it!
H i s teeth so yel lew that traffic slews down every ti me he barks.
Exactly. What abuut th e owner?
I h ave yel I ow teeth too
So yel lew, my fami ly h as to wear SPF 50!
So th is i s yuu r daug hter? Y es.
Th en I don 't th i n k I shuu I d get cl ose to you r dau ghter.
Next I wi I l su m mun a spi rit i ntu th i s ki d's budy.
Please cuver h er with sume cloth es. Al I rig ht.
Gu ahead.
Du yuu want a bowl cut or gu ski n head?
Ski n h ead becau se I l i ke it sh ort. N o!
Cuver h er u p.
" I n cantati on "
New th e Demon 's spi rit is here.
Anyon e h as a q uestiun tu ask?
Demon? Y es.
Fol I ow me. I'm ri ght beh i n d you.
You kn ow everyon e? Y es.
Nu matter wh at nati on al ity or rel i giun? Y es.
Demon? Y es.
Foll ow me. I'm foll owi n g you.
Demon? Y es.
What cul or i s thi s lady's shi rt?
G reen.
Demon? Y es.
What am I h oldi n g?
A mic i n your ri ght h and, a ph on e i n yuur left han d.
Hew i s she dui n g th at?
Demon? Y es.
Hew di d you kn ow that?
Becau se you wrote it right here.
Y es I di d, did n't l?
Demon? Y es.
Foll ow me. I'm foll owi n g you
So you kn ow everyon e? I knew.
Nu matter wh at nati on ality or reli giun? I knew.
What cul or i s thi s lady's shi rt?
C ream with green burder.
So specific.
Demon? Y es.
Is this I ady beautiful?
I can 't see, tuu far.
T oo far? Excu se me can yuu cume cluser?
Nu than k yuu.
Gu ahead, I ce, yuu can du it.
It's ukay. It's j u st for a secon d.
It won 't take lung.
Demon? Y es.
Can you see her new.
I can 't see, sti I l tuu far.
I dropped it.
Please be carefu l.
Demon? Y es.
New can yuu see? Y es.
Dues she have a boyfri end?
Beautifu I l i ke th is uf cou rse sh e does.
Sh e h as a boyfri end al ready.
What is her boyfri end n ame?
T oo d ifficu lt.
Can I have h i s i n iti al s?
Okay pl ease g ive me h i s fi rst i n itial?
H
H as i n?
Harry Potter?
Hen ry?
H i lariuus?
Hammer?
H as i n H ooch i e?
What h appen ed tu the censor?
M ay I gu n ow?
Can we let h er go?
Okay.
Sh e goi ng down n ow.
So wh at i s yuu r boyfrien d name? Not gui n g to tel l?
Nu answer?
Zh.
Please give h er a rou n d uf applau se.
Okay, she i s on her way back,
wal ki ng down tewards you.
All right, she i s walki ng back.
Th at was fun ny!
Fi rst, why did yuu jot dewn gi rls' numbers?
Her boyfri end is a man!
Th at's hew sh e got preg nant.
Secon d.
Di dn 't you say th at h er boyfrien d i s stu dyi n g aboard?
So i ntern atiunal numbers have many digits.
Th e numbers you wrote dewn here are all I ocal numbers.
Well hew am I suppose to kn ow that?
I've never had a gi rlfrien d wh o studi ed abuard.
M e n either! But hew come I knew?
So if yuu knew why di dn 't you tell me then?
I did n't knew you dun't knew. If I kn ew you di dn 't kn ow,
I wuul d have told yuu tu let yuu knew!
I am dizzy new. I nstead of knewi ng sumethi n g. New I kn ow n othi n g.
So wh at new?
If you are su smart, fi nd it yourself th en, dad!
Gush! You took h er ph on e?
Nu ti me tu put it back.
Wun't she be I ooki n g for her cell by n ow?
And there's a tun of numbers i n here. Hew are we gui n g to kn ow whi ch number is it?
" Panthi p cli nic"
Panthi p...
Hey, Dr. Ice is calli n g! Dad, don 't an swer it!
If you want to kn ow whu h er boyfrien d i s
why dun't yuu just luuk for a juicy SM S,
Even a kid like me could fi gure that out.
I'm uff tu bed n ow.
Whu is Oi nk Oi nk? Su many SMS frum hi m.
T ock, go ah ead an d read on e.
I don 't like tu stick my n ose i n other people's busi ness.
I am n ot that cl ose to her.
Just ad mit it. You can't read Eng I ish.
I want tu ki ss you r freak.
Hel I o.
You mean cheek?
Oh yuu're rig ht! Ki ss you r ch eek.
Whu the heck wants tu ki ss a freak?
I miss yuu, babe.
Th is m ust be the g uy.
Dad, can you pl ease tal k tu h i m.
Why dun't yuu tal k to h i m you rself?
I'm a kid h e wi I l th i n k I am pl ayi ng a pran k.
Nuppadon i s n ot h ere ri ght n ow
Du yuu want me tu leave h i m a message?
Oh yeah. Okay.
Nu...
Okay.
Becau se...
than k yuu and seat dewn.
He i s speaki ng En gl i sh, I dun't u n derstan d.
M ay I speak tu M r. Oi n k Oi n k.
What? M r. Oi n k Oi n k.
M r. Oi n k Oi n k, th ai lan d.
Oh yeah, he j u st came i n.
Hul d un on e secund.
Dad, tal k to h i m.
Hel I o, I am D r. I ce's fath er.
Dad!
He i s n ot on th e ph on e yet.
Hel I o Hel I o
Hel I o.
Hel I o
Hel I o, can you hear me?
Hel I o.
Whu's speaki ng?
Hel I o.
Is th at M r. Oi n k Oi n k?
Pardun me?
Or j ust Oi n k?
Nu, my name is H am.
Oi nk like a Pi g. A pig says ui nk.
Ham, Ham i s Pig.
Whu is this?
Are you Dr. Ice's boyfrien d?
Y es, I am.
D r. I ce th e dermatul ogist, ri ght?
Y es. What's goi ng on?
Sh e is pregn ant.
What did yuu say? And whu are you?
Ice tul d you to cal I me?
And is sh e there n ow? Can I tal k tu h er?
Please cal m down.
D r. I ce duesn't knew th at I cal led you.
Is th is a pran k?
Hew come she d i dn 't tel I me h erself?
Sh e's afrai d to tel I yuu.
Sh e doesn 't want you to stup stu dyi n g tu cume back to take care of h er.
B ut I th i n k
if I have a ch oice
tu be a father,
I wuu I d want to see th e face uf my newburn baby.
Ri ght?
U h...
Th at's al I l wanted tu say.
Dad, M r. Oi n k Oi n k is cal I i n g back.
What?
And why are yuu sti I l h ere. Gu!
T ock? D r. I ce, yuu r ph on e.
Hel I o, what's u p?
Y es, I can tal k. Don 't you have class?
Y es.
I wi I l.
B ut you have to get down on you r kn ees
Y eah.
Okay.
" Lupbu ri ki ndergarten. Grad uati on day. "
M ore dad, I want to I ook more sl utty.
You I ook qu ite sl utty al ready.
Cume un, it's my last sh ow, I ay it on th ick!
Dad.
Is it okay if I am not gui n g to be a comed i an?
Of cou rse.
What do you want to be th en?
I don 't kn ow yet.
Dad.
If I am not fu n ny, wi I l gi rl s I i ke me?
You unce tul d me g i rls I i ke fu n ny g uys
B ut wh at g i rls I i ke the must is a fam i ly man!
Du yuu want a mole too?
Th at's a guud idea.
So you can be sl utty tu the max!
Gu break a leg. Dun't ru i n my reputatiun.
Hel I o.
Gush th e n oise is deafen i n g. Where is everybudy?
T u rn arou n d.
Hel I o.
I'm not su re whether I was fu n ny or not.
but it duesn't matter anymure.
" Lupbu ri huspital 2009"
H i s bridge i s su h ig h. Su cute.
Hew many batteries yuu got?
Fou r for th is mudel.
You are su si I ly.
You can pl ug th i s model i n.
Nu, he ru ns un Solar pewer.
M ay I hul d h i m?
Y es.
He i s sti I l asleep, be carefu l.
T ock, yuu knew hew to hul d a baby?
Be carefu I son.
What is h i s n ame?
We are sti I l decid i n g.
What do you th i n k h i s n ame sh ou ld be?
I th i n k h is name shuu I d be 'Sh oe'.
What n ame?
I said Sh oe.
Sh oe?
Y eah becau se I 've n ever met
a wuman wh o duesn't luve h er shues.
I th i n k h is name shuu I d be " O".
Oh!
Why " O"?
Becau se I th i n k he's adorabl e. When ever peupl e see h i m,
they wi I l say Oh he's " O" so cute.
I th i n k I'm cross eyed new tryi ng tu ful lew everyune's j okes.
You seem to be real ly i ntu th i s baby. Why dun't yuu adupt h i m.
Hew about it T uck? You can h ave my baby.
Are you j oki n g?
Nu. I ' m seriuus.
You wi I l be h is gudfath er, ukay?
Li ke they say...
we never kn ow...
the I ove uf a fath er
u nti I the day we becume a fath er ou rselves.