Why were you suicidal?
[sighs]
It's because going through very big states in life,
but I can go so deep that I don't see a way out.
-Yes. -And I am looking for a way to...
to get out of my body or to hate myself or to--
[stutters] I can explain the deep and I don't find a way out.
What makes you hate yourself?
[breathing heavily]
Is it the red shoes?
-What? -Is it the red shoes?
[audience laughs]
-No. -Okay.
Are you sure? 'Cause they're fucking red.
-[chuckling] -[audience laughing]
Don't you be smiling like that. You'll fuck everything up.
[chuckles]
If you smile like that too much, you'll wanna stick around.
You've been so hard on yourself.
I love that you have such high standards.
But those aren't high standards. That's called "perfection."
And most people overestimate what they can do in a year,
and they underestimate what they can do in two or three decades.
And you haven't been around long enough to have those extra two or three decades,
so don't fuck it up.
There's time.
And if you give yourself just a little bit of time...
and if you'll be a little more loving to yourself...
I think you're gonna find you got a lot to give.
I can fucking feel it.
And I know fucking people. And you know I do.
-[chuckling] That's right. -Thank you.
And I know you right now.
-Can you feel me? -Yes, I do.
So, you and I are gonna make a deal.
I'm gonna show you what to do to reshape yourself.
That would be nice.
And we're gonna make it so you could enjoy yourself.
Oh, are you sure?
-[Matyas laughs] -[audience laughing]
Not just when you're jerking off, other times, too.
-[inhales deeply] -[both chuckle]
Yeah.
How's that?
And what you're gonna do
is you're gonna remember as long as you live...
that I don't fucking bullshit.
And you've seen it, haven't you?
Yes.
Do I tell the fucking truth?
Even when it's painful? Even when it's not sweet?
Yes.
I'm telling you the truth.
You've just fucking begun and you're not gonna fuck it up.
You're gonna take the time to fully develop
and you're gonna find a way to enjoy a little bit along the way.
[Matyas breathing heavily]
-[sighs] -There you go.
-Did you feel that? -Yes.
What was that, that just happened?
What just happened there when these came down like that?
And you started breathing here, too.
Um, start believing you and be open.
Oh... [chuckling] That's it.
[audience cheering]
[Tony Robbins] I'm a kid from Azusa, California,
who did not have any fucking certainty,
but I was certain of one thing.
I was not about to grow up and have a family
that was gonna go through what I went through.
And so, I constructed this fucking Tony Robbins guy.
I constructed him. I created him.
He was me but I built this motherfucker.
Our next guest is a number one bestselling author
whose books and seminars have helped inspire
more than 50 million people to transform their lives.
[newsman] He's perhaps best known for his three decades of work
in the field of self-improvement.
[Larry King] More than four million people around the world
have attended one of his live events.
[Piers Morgan] I was looking at the list of people that you have helped.
Bill Clinton, Princess Diana,
Mikhail Gorbachev, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela.
These are, like, the icons of my lifetime.
[Tony] I would do these incantations where I would say over and over again,
"I'm fucking unstoppable. I'm fucking--" And I would just...
I would say that for an hour while I would go on a run.
Till pretty soon, after days of that shit, what do you think was in my head?
Everyone needs a compelling future.
Everyone needs something to move towards.
If you don't have something to move towards,
you settle for where things are.
I would get up and I had no money.
Then I'd say, "God's wealth is circulating in my life.
His wealth flows to me in avalanches of abundance.
All my needs, desires, and goals
are met instantaneously by infinite intelligence,
for I am one with God, and God is everything."
Then I'd see God's wealth in the love, in the friendships,
in the insights, in the ideas, in the emotion,
in the fucking energy in my body and my soul,
in my hunger and my desire to breakthrough and make things happen.
I didn't just say the fucking words.
Every day, work harder on yourself than anything else.
'Cause if you become more intelligent, more valuable, more skilled,
you can add more value to other people.
I realized if I'm gonna get to my ultimate destiny, I gotta be smarter.
Who am I ultimately wanting to become or what is the destiny I'm here for?
So, I created this thing called "Date With Destiny."
If I could uncover what beliefs and values control me,
I could literally redesign me.
I created this motherfucker standing here.
[audience cheering]
[coordinator] Three, two, one, go.
[Joe Berlinger] What's the best way for us to interact with you?
I think we're gonna wanna
-bring our own camera in there, so. -[John Turbett] Sure.
[Joe] I'll have one camera on Tony and one camera on the intervention,
but I don't wanna screw up what you're doing.
The challenge is, a lot of--
We never know where he's gonna go with the interventions.
Tony can be in a great spot down in the front
where we can nail it with four cameras,
or it can be back here, you know, with a crowd of people around
and we're completely blocked by everyone.
[Joe] How're you feeling about things?
[Tony] I feel great. I've been with so many people over so many decades
in so many different environments.
What I love is the uncertainty of what's gonna happen,
but I also have absolute faith I know it'll unfold in a beautiful way.
[Joe] Do you get nervous?
-Is there, like, stage fright? -[Tony] No.
[Joe] Is there, like... Or anything like that?
No, no, there's no stage fright. [laughing]
[Tony] This is gonna be a beautiful adventure and a journey, and it always is.
Every single one is different.
Every single one has these extraordinary stories.
Every single one has some crazy moments.
And I'm glad you're just coming on the journey to check it out.
[John] Test. One, two, check.
One, two.
[Sarah Fosmo] I'm letting the CIS in in about four minutes.
Four minutes, 11:28.
And he's on the fly in about 15.
We're about ten minutes from doors.
Tony's team is with him at the house,
and then we're on this side so we're in constant texting communication.
He wants to know the energy in the room.
How's the registration process?
What are our numbers? Are flights delayed? Everything.
Go ahead.
[Tony] Okay, so the exercise,
"What's great? What's missing? Why are you here?"
I use the intervention
-to teach principles in the middle of it. -100%.
I love that. That's my favorite way to do it.
That allows me to then circle back and I'll have them
create their compelling view of what extraordinary life looks like.
-Yep. -And that'll open up some shares.
And that'll open up some more interventions,
and we'll be rockin' and rollin'.
[coordinator to audience] We're super excited to have you!
There are quite a few of you, as you might see.
If I could get everyone who's here to please stand up,
so we can unblock our exits, get excited.
[crowd cheering]
[Tony] We're gonna leave at 11:30, so right now it is...
-[assistant 1] It's 11:00 now. -It's 11:00 even?
Yep.
So, I can do... [sighs] Yeah, I can do ten minutes and stop on time.
Fifty-seven degrees, baby. Whoa!
[excited chatter]
[Diane Adcock] There are so many people there,
and they've been in the room since 11:30.
Timing it so that he walks out and it's just an utter buildup of energy
is just so important for him.
He gets there, walks up on stage, and just everyone's at a peak.
-[Tony] Okay. Good morning. -Good morning.
So here's your old one. And here's the new one.
Mary told me you wanted to switch these two, so I switched 'em.
-Okay, cool. -Yeah.
Jay, what do you think on timing this morning?
-Twenty-five minutes. -Perfect. [sighs]
-[loud music playing] -[crowd cheering]
[Joe] What is "Date With Destiny" from your perspective?
[Tony] From my perspective,
it's a place that you go to uncover who you really are
and what you're really about at this stage of your life.
[Joe] Who is this program right for? [Tony] Anybody who's hungry.
Anybody who's looking for more.
[chuckling] If you're not hungry, it's the absolute wrong program for you.
Don't even think about coming. You get eaten alive in this environment.
But for somebody that's hungry...
[chuckles] I got an experience for you, baby.
-[loud music playing] -[crowd cheering]
[Tony] I'm bringing a mirror. I'm bringing crazy tools.
I mean, I'll be off the charts.
I'll be weird. I'll be bizarre. I'll seem gross.
I'll use the science of taboo language
because words have the power to pierce the conscious mind.
Look, I'll do whatever the eff it takes to break the pattern,
so you can reclaim who you really are.
[announcer] Welcome to the stage, Mr. Anthony Robbins!
[crowd cheering]
[singing] ♪ Life will never be the same ♪
Whoa!
Come on, guys! Come on!
Whoa!
How're you doing out there, ladies and gentlemen?
[crowd cheering]
Welcome to "Date With Destiny 2014," and for some of you, welcome home.
Good to see you.
Start your morning-- It's afternoon now, with 12 good morning high-fives, hugs.
Go for it. Introduce yourselves. Connect.
All right, grab a seat.
Thank you for the warm welcome. What have you gotten yourself into?
[chuckles]
[audience cheering]
I wanna welcome you here. First of all, this is my favorite program.
This is my 74th "Date With Destiny" in 25 years.
It's been amazing.
And over those decades, doing this, literally, all around the world
in virtually every major country.
I've had people from more than 100 countries attend this program.
Uh, what I can tell you right now is
this program is different than any other program.
And what's different about this program
is not only the depth of what we're gonna go to.
We're gonna get to take a look at the force that controls
every thought, every feeling and every emotion of your life.
The beliefs, values, and rules
that literally control the way you think, feel, and behave.
We are gonna get emotionally fit because life is gonna come at you.
This is not some bullshit "positive-thinking" seminar
where I'm gonna tell you to start chanting,
"There's no weeds, there's no weeds," and hope shit isn't there.
This is a place where you and I prepare for anything.
We look for the weed and we rip it out.
Over the next six days and nights,
we're gonna get to the source of what controls it all,
then you're gonna change it.
And you're not going to do it the way I tell you to.
Who the hell am I? I'm not your guru.
I didn't come here to fix you 'cause you're not broken, and I know that.
Even if you think you're broken, I'm here to tell you and show you you're not.
What I want you to know is if you're gonna have a breakthrough,
when someone says, "It took ten years to make a change,"
what you really find out is that change happened in a moment.
It took you ten years to get to the moment where you finally said,
"Never again! I quit! Let's begin! I love you! I do! It's over!"
Our entire life changes in a moment. Who gets that? Say "aye."
[all] Aye!
And I want you to get that what we're gonna do is have lots of those moments.
And you can have as many as you want. There's no limit here.
You can break through multiple times.
Guys can even have multiple breakthroughs. It's an amazing thing.
[audience laughing]
It's truly amazing.
By the way, how many of you came here because there's something significant
you really wanna change in your life right now?
How many came-- 'Cause that's a major outcome. Say "aye."
[all] Aye!
We're gonna make sure you get that change, but that's temporary.
What we really want to do is not just solve your problem...
but deal with the thing that creates it in the first place.
That's what's gonna be mind-boggling in its change.
But for it to work, we gotta be energy-rich.
And I know you won't always feel that way. I won't either.
But that's part of the discipline of someone
who's the best in the world at what they do.
I'm inviting you right now to make a decision.
That for the next six days--
You could do anything for six days and nights, couldn't you?
For the next six days, you play a level of intensity you've never played before.
You push yourself.
You use your voice, your body to keep finding a way to increase that energy.
Because at that energy level,
you'll get totally different insights than at the one most people live in day-to-day.
And they go, "I get it. I understand. I do."
But if you and I wake up, we could take back control forever.
You're gonna watch people stand up in the next few days
and they're gonna reclaim their life.
They're gonna wake up.
And that's where the game gets exciting.
Who knows what I'm talking about here? Say "aye."
-[all] Aye! -Good.
So now...
what's an area that you came here with that it's time to break through?
What's an area of your life that is not the way you want it?
Who's got something of that nature?
Yes, ma'am. Give her a hand.
[audience applauding]
Give her a hand!
[audience cheering]
What's your name? Where're you from?
Sienna. I'm from Newport Beach, California.
Sienna. Give her a hand. It's Sienna, ladies and gentlemen.
So, Sienna, what is it you're frustrated with?
What is it that's not where you want it to be?
Uh, my diet.
Your diet. And what about your diet?
Um, not that it has to be perfect,
but that I know that my body and my health deserve better.
Okay. And better than what?
Like, what are you not doing that you should be doing?
I'm not eating at the times of the day I should be...
-that would be most beneficial for me. -Okay. Okay.
And it's making myself lose respect.
-Lose respect for yourself? -Yes.
Okay, and when you lose respect for yourself, what do you do?
I then eat. [laughs]
It's in a whole fun circle.
-Yes. -Yeah. [chuckles]
And now, question.
What are you doing all this for?
What's life about?
It's about finding love and happiness.
Okay, so life is about finding love and happiness, okay?
And what has to happen for you to hit the target of love and happiness?
[Sienna] Um...
do something kind for others.
So you gotta do something kind for others.
Do something for myself that, um, scares me, that's new.
"Do something for myself that scares me."
So here's this young lady, "Life's about love and happiness,
I gotta do kind for other people. I gotta do something that scares me."
What else do I need to do?
I need to give love to those who don't have it.
Okay. "I need to give love to those who don't have it." Fantastic.
What else do I need to do?
I need to receive love.
And what do you have to do to receive love?
-Do you have to be worthy of it? -Yes.
And what has to happen for you to be worthy of receiving love?
I have to be responsible for their happiness.
"I have to be responsible for their happiness."
Now, fortunately, she's only how old?
-Nineteen. -Nineteen.
So she hasn't felt the wear and tear of a couple decades of that yet.
-[chuckles] -To wear her into the fucking ground.
-Who knows what I'm talking about here? -[chuckles]
-Say "aye." -[all] Aye!
We're seeing her right before all the fucking shit happens right now.
-Isn't this cool? All right. -[audience laughing]
Now let's take a look at something for a moment.
This is where your model of the world has come from,
the thing that's controlling all your decisions.
Whose love did you crave the most growing up?
Your mother or your father?
Not "who did you love more?" I'm sure you loved them both.
Whose love did you crave more?
Truthfully.
Since I didn't quite get it, it was my dad's.
Yes, clearly.
Who did you have to be for your father?
First reaction.
My gosh.
Phew.
Now, I'm really on her right now. She's doing some real honest searching.
-Can you feel that? -[audience] Yeah.
She didn't like this, you see that? She liked that whole thing when,
"I know what to say, know what to do, and I can achieve it all perfectly."
This kind of uncertain role, like, "What the fuck?"
This is the stuff most of us avoid, and she's not avoiding it.
Give her a hand for that. That's really awesome.
[audience applauding]
Who did you have to be for your father? First gut reaction.
Not what's said, not your intellect, not your positivity.
The fucking truth of what you feel.
Ignorant to his behavior.
Which behavior did you have to be ignorant to?
-Drug abuse. -Drug abuse.
And yet you love him, clearly.
Regardless of his behavior, you love your father? Is that true?
Yes.
I don't know. Is it true? Maybe you don't.
I struggle, but at the end of the day, I do.
Yes. She loves him. She just hates that she loves him so much.
[chuckles]
-Is that true? -Yes.
So, you craved your father's...
'cause, guess why, rejection breeds obsession.
Her daddy didn't reject her,
but she didn't get the level that she want,
so she wants it even more.
-Is that your mother beside you? -Yes.
-She's the bomb. Love her.
Give her the microphone.
What happens when she interacts with her father?
What happens to her state? What happens to the way she is?
Um, she is not afraid to tell him to go fuck himself.
Yes. Did you teach... Did you teach her how to do that?
-[chuckles] I might have. Not knowingly. -Yes.
But, um, I know she craved his love.
But she wasn't crawling after it.
-[Tony] Oh, I didn't think she was. -No.
Here's the truth. There's this really sweet girl
whose got a fucking tiger in there.
-Can you feel it? -[Jane] Yeah. Big time.
She's like the outside... Oh... [kissing noises] Rawr!
-Yeah. -[audience laughs]
Right? She has that inside, but showing that's not really appropriate.
By the way, you did show her how to do that.
-I did. I'm sure, yeah. -Didn't you?
That's 'cause you had your own fuck-yous with him, didn't you?
-Yes, I did. Many. -[audience laughing]
And she loves you, and she saw that and she modeled it.
What if I told you that it's possible that there's a little bit of an imbalance
that she needs to heal or she will never heal completely?
-I believe that totally. -Yeah.
And then for her to do that, she'd have to claim not just the fuck-you.
She'd have to reclaim the vulnerability that she has around him, too.
But if she doesn't do it,
it's gonna show up with pain for her with men in the future.
-Yeah. -Your piling it on...
might make you feel like you're owning yourself.
But your piling it on is just burying the very person
whose love you crave and who desperately needs your acceptance.
As much as you've hated him, he's hated himself more.
-Even if he's never shown it to you. -[Jane] Mmm-hmm.
That's why drugs.
[inaudible] Shit.
-What did you say? -Shit. [chuckles]
[audience laughs]
-That was a good "shit." -Yeah.
What if you called him and told him all the things you blamed him for
and said, "I need to have a conversation with you.
I want to tell you, I blamed you for so much of your life,
but I realized the other day, I need to make a new list.
I blamed you for being addicted and this and that and all those things,
and things you should've done,
but I haven't blamed you for being the one man that I could love.
I haven't blamed you for being the greatest source of love that I know."
You have to think about all the things you used to blame him for...
and you need to blame him much more powerfully.
You need to blame him consciously, effectively.
'Cause if you're gonna blame people for all the shit,
you better blame them for all the good, too.
If you're gonna give them credit for everything that's fucked up,
then you have to give them credit for everything that's great.
I'm not asking you to stop blaming.
I'm saying blame elegantly, blame intelligently, blame effectively.
Blame at the level of your soul, not the level of your fucking head.
'Cause life is not so simple and black and white.
My mother beat the shit out of me. She loved me.
She was freaked out I was gonna leave. I was her source of everything.
I blame her for all the beauty in my life.
I blame her that I have the woman I have in my life
because I cherish my wife 'cause I know what the opposite is.
I blame her for the capacity to feel and care.
I blame her for my insatiable hunger to end suffering for any human I can.
'Cause I suffered a ton.
If she had been the mother I had wanted, I would not be the man I am proud to be.
-That's the truth. -[audience cheering]
It's the truth.
You wanna know what our biggest problem is in this room?
I'll tell every one of you, if you're willing to hear me,
what your biggest problem is.
You think you shouldn't have them.
'Cause problems are what make us grow.
Problems are what sculpt our soul.
Problems are what make us become more.
If we can realize that life is always happening for us, not to us...
game over, all the pain and suffering disappears.
Your father, your problem, is your gift.
He played the role he was meant to play.
If he'd been the perfect father she wanted,
she wouldn't have half the drive she has. Not a third.
-That would be tragic. -That would be tragic.
You need to call this motherfucker
and blame him for what a beautiful daughter he's created.
[audience cheering]
And for you, my dear, what are you going to do?
I'm going to, hopefully--
No, I will have, um, one of the first peaceful...
completely peaceful and loving conversations I have ever had with him.
Even if it's not peaceful, it'll bring you peace.
Yes, that's right.
And, also, you can do it more than once.
He'll need it more than once.
Otherwise, it'll look like a fucking technique.
"You went to the fucking seminar and he told you to make your fucking list,
you came to fucking see me. Fuck you."
[audience laughing]
Give these two a giant hand.
[audience cheering]
[music playing]
[Joe] How do you select people?
I mean, like, when you're walking through the crowd, do you vibe it out?
[Tony] It's instinctive. I don't really know. I mean, sometimes I know.
Sometimes, I'm looking for something specifically,
but today, it's just instinctive things we're going for.
And then, you know, I feel, "Where can I take this? Where can it go?"
And the whole thing is... It's a dance.
You know, to go from thinking her problem is dietary,
[chuckles] which is where people are.
They present this low-level stuff because we engage ourself
with little problems that we make into big things
so we don't deal with the bigger ones that scare us,
and so it was a beautiful example of that.
And you got to see that...
you know, the pattern she's on right now is manageable 'cause she's so young,
but the stacking of that, the friction of that in your life,
long-term, could be totally destructive.
And that started to open up the world of....
learning to appreciate all the aspects of other human beings
so you could actually appreciate yourself which, in the end, makes you human.
There's enough variety, there's enough entertainment,
there's enough, uh, rawness, uh, and there's enough energy
that people are engaged 11 hours into it.
[chuckles]
-[dance music playing] -[audience cheering]
Whoa!
Shake your body out.
Sit down and write down...
What has prevented you from crushing it?
What has prevented you from living what you dream?
What belief, what behavior, what emotional habit,
what's prevented you?
What's been getting in the way?
What story? What's been the conflict inside you?
What's prevented you from having the life you deserve?
What low standard have you tolerated for this to still be in your life?
[Tony sighs] Right. Let's talk about tomorrow.
I think day two's got plenty of emotion in it.
The 9/11 story is a good story for that area.
I like that.
And then, boom. Then we shift gears into...
you know, what blocks us, pain and pleasure, and those set of questions.
Problem with the emotion that we want. Yeah, I like the flow a lot now.
-And-- -[Diane] You can also do--
You did this in Fiji, but that acceptance exercise,
like, find four things that you can accept right now. Super quick.
Oh, good idea. Good memory. Great idea.
That's another great one to do.
So I really think the only thing that's left is red flags.
[Jerrica Escoto] Here are a couple.
This woman, she was severely abused, emotionally and physically, by her father.
Um, she couldn't sit in class when she was growing up
because often she had open wounds on her back.
Um, and she feared that her father would kill her 'cause he owned a gun.
Um, so, in her early 20s, what she did with that,
because of those experiences, she volunteered for an organization
that helped severely abused children who were kept in cages.
This is so... This is horrific what's happened to her,
but she'll be an example, probably, of a role model.
[Jerrica] Role model. Mmm-hmm.
Of, "Wow, I can be put through this
and I can still find a way to get outside of myself
by helping others in a situation that's equally bad
or, you know, being kept in a cage, she might feel is worse."
When I'm really looking for the people on the red flags, are the ones--
In any group of couple thousand people, you can't know for sure,
but there's usually a dozen or so people
that are suicidal or have tried suicide and so forth,
and there's no guarantee you can protect everybody,
but one of the guarantees is reading all the forms,
anticipating as much as possible, and then I assign somebody
to pay attention to those individuals one-on-one also
to make sure we're supporting them throughout the process.
[Diane] The one that you had emailed me about a couple of days ago about--
Oh, yes. Good. See, that's a red flag.
-In the pod, yeah. -Yeah, well, who is this now?
He just tried to commit suicide a couple days before this email.
[Tony] Yeah, I need his picture,
and, um, I need to make sure that we put, uh, Jeremy--
Is Gerry McKinney in that group?
[Diane] Yes. [Jerrica] Yep.
So we'll put Jerry on it. Jerry will know what to do.
We've worked on this many times together.
I want him feeling supported in this environment. He could transform.
That... that's a red flag, right?
-[Diane] Yeah. -That's a red flag.
Okay, this one?
[indistinct chatter]
Team 6. Come on over.
[organizer 1] Come on back in, everybody. Come on.
Come a little closer. Come a little closer.
Who would like to start to share?
This is day two of "Date With Destiny"
and today is the first day that all of our participants get into teams.
In that meeting, they get a preview of the day,
they get a chance to talk about their breakthroughs and what they learned.
[organizer 2] Team 3.
[crowd cheering]
Come on in.
All right, now, would you all agree that Jane and Sienna gave us an amazing gift?
-Yes. -Yes.
Jane, why don't you come up here? Come on up, sweetie.
Well, it was completely unexpected.
I didn't realize that Sienna felt responsible
to not ever be really, really sad around me,
and that broke my heart.
So, I think she's liberated from that.
And yesterday, she called her father.
-[crowd cheering] -And...
they had the most beautiful, healing conversation ever.
[Sienna] Did I show you the text that I...
-No. Show me. -Oh, okay.
So he sent me this. Oh, he sent me another one.
"Sienna, you will never know in a thousand lifetimes
what that call meant to me. You are the light of my life
and my love for you has kept me going through the deepest darkness.
I could not be more blessed to have you in my life
and will never forget this moment.
I needed that loving call in such a big way.
Thank you for being my angel, darling. Dada loves you so much."
And this morning, he said, "Dada loves you."
Aw.
[Joe] Where does "Date With Destiny" fit into your world
in terms of who you are as a teacher?
You know, what it represents philosophically for you.
[Tony] "Date With Destiny" is my very favorite event.
Just because it covers the controlling force
that really controls everything.
All your thoughts, all your feelings, all your emotions,
your beliefs and values, and how quickly that can all shift.
I love that we can do an event where you really say,
"Hey, I'm gonna stop and decide what my life's about."
Instead of life just taking you, you take life back.
And I love to see people when they own themselves again
as opposed to when they're running a pattern they've run for years.
So, what did you learn from the first relationship?
In the room, every interaction I'm doing, I'm not just working with that individual,
I'm a million percent of that individual,
but there's another part of my consciousness that's saying,
"Now how do I relate this in a way so that everybody gets value at some level?"
And I gotta be able to do that while I'm talking to a stranger they don't know.
Connection, breakthroughs, truth.
Anything you want to remember that's valuable,
pull it out of your head right now, onto the paper.
I love the challenge of being able to
sustain it for six days and nights with people from 71 countries,
and you got people on headsets,
having this being translated through somebody else
and keeping them completely engaged.
[speaking Spanish] Did anybody see the movie...
called Mr. Holland's Opus?
[speaking Russian] What is more significant than love?
Nothing.
[Tony in English] To be able to see
all those people with all those personalities,
and all those backgrounds, and all those differences,
and see them come together as a community
that I've been able to create in a few days,
where they're willing to support a total stranger with so much love...
How are you all doing this afternoon?
-[audience cheering] -That's incredibly gratifying.
[Joe] When you're on stage for ten, 12 hours, how do you maintain your energy?
[Tony] There's no net. I think that's part of the secret.
Because that's where there's a drive inside you
that says, "You have to find the answer."
When I walk out there, and it's me and some music I can point out,
and all these souls saying, "What are we gonna do?" [chuckles]
That was the push. I'm no longer pushed, I'm pulled.
Push will wear you out.
When you're pushing to do something, you only got so much willpower.
But when you're pulled, when there's something larger than yourself
that you're here to serve and that you believe you're made for,
that brings energy.
And every time another thing transforms, another soul's touched,
I get more energy, more strength, and I make more distinctions.
And my job is to dominate the problem out
and bring out, within that person, what's really strong.
Tell me about your father.
My father?
My father is the most amazing man on the planet.
He's loving, self-sacrificing, playful, sweet.
Just wonderful.
He taught you you're his little princess, didn't he?
Motherfucker.
-[chuckles] -[audience laugh]
Excuse me?
[Joe] Tony, sometimes you use rather extreme language with people.
It's kind of shocking.
[Tony] I use language in a very direct way.
In every culture, there are taboo words.
And when you use them, you're able to interrupt the noise in people's heads.
I want to provoke people back into the reality of this moment.
That's how they change.
He meant well.
Look how he fucked up.
He set the bar so high, I don't even know if it's possible to reach it.
That's right.
He taught you, you didn't have to do anything to be loved.
You should have all your needs be met.
He's a beautiful man with a big heart that fucked you up.
And made you think you were entitled,
and when you're not, you're confused why it didn't come your way.
Made it so that you could take love away if you didn't get it
'cause you had no fear of losing it 'cause he always gave it to you.
So, your husband never stood a chance.
Now, what did you do to your ex-husband that led to that relationship ending?
[Hali] I probably withdrew love from him.
But he hurts me.
-And you hurt him? -Yeah, I guess I do.
He doesn't seem like he cares though. It doesn't even seem like it affects him.
Of course he doesn't.
Same strategy you use. He's just better at it, 'cause he's a man.
He has no one to talk to about it, so he won't.
He doesn't talk about anything.
He's a man.
-[audience laughing] -[chuckles]
[Hali laughing]
You're, like, all shocked. Like, "He doesn't talk."
[stammering] Well, now I have a relationship with my boyfriend.
-He talks about everything. -Yeah, 'cause you got a feminine guy.
It's driving me crazy. He doesn't stop talking. [laughing]
[audience laughing]
[sniffles]
Poor guy, I'm so glad he's not here.
I wish he was here. We could set him free.
In fact, maybe that's what we should do as a first step.
-Get out your phone. -[audience exclaims]
No. No.
Then it's time to start doing the right thing,
right when you know it's fucking right.
Not when it's convenient and comfortable
and feels good to you and you get your brain around it.
Pick up your fucking phone.
[audience clapping]
Stand up.
Now, let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question.
Is he the right man for you?
[audience member] No.
[stutters] Does anybody know the answer looking at her face right now?
-I don't wanna hurt him. -You already are.
He thinks he has a chance and you know there's no way in fucking hell.
[sighs]
Correct me if I'm wrong. Tell me if I'm wrong.
-Tell me if I'm wrong. -I can't. You're right.
Is this true, what I'm asking you to take on?
Yes.
-Is it honest? -Yes.
-Is it painful? -Yes.
That's why it needs to be done.
So, you have a chance right now. I'm not forcing you to do this.
You got to consciously say, "I want to do this,"
before you ring that phone, or don't do it.
And when I say I want it doesn't mean I like it.
I want it because I know it's right.
[sighs]
Not, "Tony made me."
'Cause if later on, you do, "Tony made me,"
-and that's gonna-- -He knows.
If that's gonna be the story, then don't call.
He knows that Tony can't make me.
-Good. I know that. -I know that Tony can't make me.
And I know that, too. So, all three of us know it now.
-And 2,500 other people. [chuckles] -Correct.
So now the truth is clear. Make the fucking call.
[phone ringing]
[Hali's boyfriend on speakerphone] How you doing?
[Hali] Hey, baby.
You know what? Um...
I've kind of just come to a serious realization,
and I just felt like I need to tell you.
I think, realistically, I love you so much that I make excuses
for the fact that we're probably really not right for each other romantically,
and...
I'm sorry, that's not what-- I didn't wanna do that to you.
I can't live like this, and I don't think you can, either.
The role that you're playing is not who you are.
The role that I'm playing is not who I wanna be.
And I don't wanna be some masculine, ball-busting broad.
That's not who I was created to be.
If I just keep in the relationship because I don't wanna lose the good stuff,
it's selfish, and that's the one thing I don't want to be.
Baby, I love you.
I'm not gonna pretend it never happened.
I'm just trying to be honest while I have the courage.
Babe, please don't do that. Please don't do that.
-I just wanted-- -[hangs up]
[audience cheering]
[music playing]
[Joe] Are you ever concerned about giving the wrong piece of advice?
I mean, you're doing it on the spot.
[Tony] But I'm not doing what I want. I'm not doing what I think is right.
If you watch what I do, I watch what their body tells me is right.
You know what's true,
because when it's true, their whole nervous system responds.
And so, I'm looking for what's real,
and when I find it, I take that bait and take it all the way to the soul.
I'm not a surface guy. I can't stand living on the surface.
I think that's why people are so unfulfilled today.
People text instead of communicate,
people think their Facebook friends are their friends.
I mean, some of them may be your friends, but depth is what people are missing.
So, I like taking people deep.
And when you take people deep, everybody's riveted 'cause it's so rare.
Stand back up, please, if you would.
Why are they standing looking at you? What did you see in their eyes?
Love.
-You felt it, right? -[audience cheering]
From what kind of person did you feel love?
-[sniffles] Every kind. -Yes.
How do we get love from every kind of person
and people we don't even know?
[sniffles] We do the right thing?
[audience cheering]
I can't believe I did that.
This level of authenticity will lead to a rich life.
This woman will face challenges and she will figure them out and solve them,
and she'll make mistakes and she'll clean them up.
This woman right here
can have life the way she wants it, the way she deserves it.
-[audience cheering] -[music playing]
[dog barking]
[instructor] All right. Come on down here and let's use "moom." M-O-O-M.
And we're gonna keep that low larynx sound.
[Tony sing-song] Moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom.
Moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom.
[instructor] Way to go.
Moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom, moom.
I think most of us are unaware of the patterns that are really controlling us.
[Tony sing-song] Neh, neh, neh, neh, neh, neh, neh, neh, neh, neh.
You gotta know, precisely,
what do you really want at this stage of your life?
What do you need?
You know, what are the triggers for you that make you crazy,
and are they worth letting go of?
[sing-song] No, no... no, no, no.
It's deciding, just like building muscle,
that you're gonna sculpt yourself into what you are capable of being
as opposed to whatever life and circumstance
has provided you the opportunity to show up as.
We all get what we tolerate.
And this is a program about saying, "I'm gonna decide what I want.
I'm not gonna tolerate anything inside myself
that's less than I can be or do or share or give."
[Tad Schinke] So, just to kind of set a frame here, this is a red flag review.
And this is an opportunity for us to get an understanding of some people
that may need special assistance during the course of the program.
What we want is just the team number,
what the key issues are,
and, you know, what your plan is for dealing with them.
So, who'd like to go first?
-We'll go first. -Yes.
The issue is childhood beatings at ages three and four.
Father finally abandoned him.
The plan is to possibly change personal history,
collapse some anchors potentially,
and definitely check in and make sure he's aware of the triad.
Who, uh, who's next? Yes.
[staff member 1] Team 29. We have several.
The first participant,
he was in a motorcycle accident and sustained some brain injuries.
He's permanently disabled.
So, the first thing we're gonna do is make sure
that he's processing and understanding everything that he's getting in the room.
She is dealing with autoimmune disease. Constant pain.
Our group has three of us
who have made major changes in our life to help us with health issues.
So, that will give her, uh, knowledge that she's in the right place.
Mother was murdered by stepfather.
One of the children was forced by an adult to abuse his sister.
[staff member 2] They were held hostage for three days in a terrorist attack.
[staff member 3] Um, at age six, she had sexual abuse from a close family member.
Age 11, physical abuse from her father.
And at age 17, her closest brother was killed in a motorcycle accident.
[Tad] One thing that can sometimes happen
when we go through the special care review
is people can focus on these... these negative events
that have happened in people's lives.
What I would suggest we might focus on
is the impact that we're going to be able to make.
The events are really irrelevant.
I mean, they're important. They're what's happened to people.
But if we focus on what we're gonna be able to do,
how we're gonna be able to help them,
it's gonna put us in a state that's gonna allow us to show up at our absolute best.
If we focus on, you know, the trauma that people have gone through,
that's probably not gonna happen.
-Yes? Awesome. -[audience] Yes.
I've been harassing them for a second wheel.
We're ready for you.
Oh, I got a sense of urgency coming out of your voice.
We're ready. I've got Tad right here. I think we should walk and talk.
What you got?
[Tad] Uh, this is the one that we'd given you originally.
-No. -[Tony] Don't worry about it.
-Okay. -Total attention-getter.
Um, and I think this is--
I wanna know what she looks like 'cause I'm not gonna waste time with her.
-Okay. Okay. -Everything she does is to get attention.
[Tad] And this was one, it's on, uh, Team 1.
-Suicidal, drugs, uh... -[Tony] Alcoholic.
-Yeah. -[Tony] Yep.
Well, pot as well, I think. Um...
-[Tony] I read it. -Okay.
-[stuttering] And I'll-- -I know.
-How many songs? -[Sarah] Song four.
[Tony] Okay, I gotta go. [Sarah] One minute-30.
They're ready for you. They're ready.
What I'm gonna do is, rather than pick somebody,
I'm just gonna go all through them and see what's there.
-Yeah. -All right, we'll go from there.
[Joe] Where does this mission of yours come from?
[Tony] Initially, it was pain that I wanted to end for myself and others.
I think that's what started it.
[Joe] Tell me about the pain.
What were those sources of pain, and how did you harness them?
[Tony] Just the core of it is a great mother who loved me,
but was unstable in her own life.
In the beginning, I think I linked to it all, uh... that was just my mom.
I didn't realize that she was an alcoholic and addicted to pain medications,
because that's all I'd ever known.
I had to be the person who did everything
'cause my mother wouldn't go out of the house.
I had to go to the pharmacist and convince him to give me more Valium
'cause she lost her bottle of Valium,
never even thinking that she was just taking more and more of the stuff.
And she developed a dependency upon me.
When I was going off to college,
she did everything she could to kind of stop that.
Not 'cause she didn't want me to go to college,
but she didn't wanna lose me.
So, she got more violent, and, uh, she's only 5'1",
but she would come down, grab my hair, and smash me against the wall,
or she'd tell me I was lying about something,
pour liquid soap down my throat till I threw up, just some crazy shit.
But I don't wanna malign her because I wouldn't be who I am without my mom.
It made me become a practical psychologist.
I mean, I had to figure out how to keep her stable,
how to make sure my brother and sister weren't affected by it, how to please her.
It made me a pleaser in the early part of my life, for sure.
And I think--
I don't know, it... it...
It produced in me... drive
because I had to find a way
to have a life that wasn't gonna be like that for my family.
Now, here's what we're gonna do.
Raise your hand if you're really fucked up.
Okay, one really fucked up, two really fucked up...
So many fucked up choices.
No, now I know who I'm not gonna call on.
All the people that want attention. No, you're all fucking dead.
Now I know who you are, none of you.
I'd really like to, sincerely, bring somebody up who is suicidal.
And I know you're out there simply because in a room of 2,500 people, on average,
there's 12 people that are suicidal.
So now would be the chance for you to handle this shit,
so you don't have to live with that anymore.
So, if you're suicidal, stand up.
Okay, give these people a hand, they're suicidal, for God sakes.
[audience cheering]
Hi.
What's your name?
Um, Dawn.
You're just checking your name tag to know whether it was Dawn or not?
'Cause in Brazil, they call me Sol.
Oh, really? What does it mean, Sol?
-Sun. -Sun.
What's a sun that wants to kill itself?
Well, actually I'm a sun for everyone else.
-I see. -[sobbing] But...
no one really knows, really, what's inside me. [sniffles]
And when I came here, I said, "I'm not gonna fake it anymore."
Good. You know I wouldn't accept that anyway.
So, tell me, what's going on in there?
Well... [exhales]
I'm just...
I'm tired of having so much pain and carrying it for so many years.
-How old are you? -Twenty-six.
Oh, give me a break.
You could take another 30 years of this shit.
You're not that fucking weak. Don't tell me that shit.
I don't want you to, but you sure as hell could.
Don't lie to fucking me. You and I are gonna have some truth.
If you're gonna tell me what's really going on, we're gonna have truth.
-Is that fair? -Yeah, you wanna hear it?
-Yes, I wanna hear it. Tell me. -Okay.
I was born in a community called the Children of God.
[sobbing] I don't know if you ever heard of it.
But as we're born, we never had a chance to choose who we wanted to be.
We were kids growing up
and we had to be children... soldiers of God.
And they believed that love, God's love, was sex.
So everyone had to give their love through sex,
so everyone, since we were six years old,
to give God's love, you had to have sex with people,
and see your mother and your brothers... everyone being abused.
And you grow up...
already knowing that you don't have a life.
You have to be a vessel of "God's love,"
and you can't... you can't have any own choices.
So, as the time passed, when I was 12, I said, "I cannot handle this."
I believe that there's love, and this is not it.
I haven't found one model that I can look at and say, "That is real."
So, I had my own vision of God,
even though I was grown up with visions of a totally disgusting God,
a Jesus that wanted to fuck you, that wanted to do horrible things with you.
But I said, "I believe in something else even if I never saw it."
[Dawn sighs]
But then, I've been trying to construct myself,
but when I see all of my family,
like, they're all depressed, they all wanna kill themselves.
My brother's a huge mess. My mom is a huge mess.
And, like, they would never believe if I stand up--
"She's suicidal? No."
I'm the one that takes care of everybody.
And I'm always there, positive,
and I'm always there trying to do everything to help them and to coach them,
and say, "No, everything's gonna be okay,"
and I'm like the solution-maker in my family.
But I just came to a point that I don't know what to do with so much pain,
and I don't know...
I'm 26 and I've never had a relationship. I don't know what love is.
One of my friends said,
"I know a guy called Tony. He's a great guy." [chuckles]
[audience laughing]
-[Tony chuckling] -[audience cheering]
Oh, my... Oh, my...
[Dawn crying]
[audience clapping]
[Dawn sobbing softly]
A miracle.
You're truly a miracle.
To have made it through that
and be here in this moment, you're a miracle to everyone in this room.
And that's one thing I know.
Out of insane... insanity, out of pain, [sniffles]
out of injustice...
You've not been through pain. You've been through spiritual pain.
It's beyond what most people could ever imagine in their lives.
You haven't deserved any of it.
[sniffles] But out of that...
comes unbelievable fucking strength.
And you're tired of being strong...
but you still are.
You've been trying to make sense of all this.
And there is no sense.
And that's made you the most crazy.
But how there's gonna be sense in this is...
you are gonna make sure that this stops with you.
With you, it stops.
And love begins, real love begins.
And that love is all you really are made of.
That's why you made it through it.
You are the purest.
You wanna know what love is, it's called you.
You made it through all that shit with pure love, that's what it is.
-[audience cheering] -Pure love.
Your love is... You're incredible.
You're incredible.
[sighs]
I love you.
I love you. I don't want you. I love you.
I'm able to do what I do because of all I've been through.
And I don't talk about and go into details of it
'cause why go through the story?
But there's no way I would care this much
unless I've felt feelings [sniffling] that are similar to your own.
And what I can tell you is...
because I've been through that, I have fucking muscle and strength.
I have a spiritual strength in me just like you do,
and because of that, I can reach anyone.
I've gone to the darkest, scariest places, [sniffles]
and because of that, I can lift people to the highest places.
And you have that gift.
And that gift is being born today, right fucking now,
with some new choices of what's gonna happen.
That's what's happening right now.
[audience cheering]
[Tony sniffling]
You were put in a situation where you weren't able to choose.
Now you're in the position where you choose.
You take all the power back today.
You consciously decide.
And here's the cool thing.
You've already fucking decided. You just looked for the moment.
And I know you wanted a place that was safe.
And I know you want a place where there'd be love,
and you picked the right place.
[audience cheering]
Do me a favor. Step up on your chair so you can see.
And I want-- I want you...
Really look. Take it in.
Look at the... Look at the number of people.
Really look.
Stop and grab as many gazes as you can.
There's men out there that are just sending you love,
and that's all they want, is to send you love.
Just find a few of them that, when you look in their eyes,
you know that they're not only safe,
but they really are sending you love and there's no agenda.
I have a hard time believing in that.
I know, but I want you to look in their eyes
and find the three that you know is true.
[sighs]
-[chuckles] Him. -Him?
Okay, there's one.
[audience cheering]
-Him? [chuckles] -[chuckles]
Stand up. There he is. Here's another one right here.
He was--
He was sweet with me
even though I had a horrible face and was sitting down here,
and everyone was thinking, "That girl is in a really bad mood,
she's not interacting,"
and he was there talking to me and being sweet.
-Yes. He's sincere isn't he? -Yeah.
I need one more.
Him.
-Come on up here. -[audience cheering]
So I'm gonna ask if you, you and you
will become her new uncles,
the ones that she can trust for the next ten years of her life.
And the form of that is really simple.
For the next six months,
you connect to her at least once a month for a few minutes.
Just see how she's doing, be there for her, support her,
and give her anything that you're capable of doing that she asks.
And better yet, if you're a great uncle,
you anticipate what she might need and you deliver it before she asks.
The value for you in this transaction--
And I need to tell you 'cause you were pulled here, you were chosen.
You chose yourself.
And something inside of you was pulled to let her know how loved she is.
And this is what you were made for.
You were made to love unconditionally.
And the more we do...
the more we experience the "human" in humanity.
We experience our true nature...
and we feel deeply alive.
So here's what we're gonna do.
If you want...
I have a partner,
and she's considered one of the greatest
family therapists, strategists in the world,
and her name is Cloé Madanes.
And what I'm gonna do with you, if you want,
is I'm gonna put you through that training
so that you have every talent I have to be able to help anyone.
[audience cheering]
Okay? Now, are you up for that?
Yes.
-Okay? -Yes.
You'll learn the principles behind what I do.
You won't be a copy of me. You'll be you, which'll be more powerful.
And you have a life experience on top of the skill, you have a caring.
My power is my caring. My power is my love.
My power is I can pierce anything 'cause I am the real fucking thing,
and so are you.
And that real thing can get through to anybody
if you care enough and you're persistent enough.
But I also develop strategies and I'll teach them all to you.
[audience cheering]
-Thank you so much. -All right?
-Okay. -So much.
You don't know how important that is to me. Thank you.
[inaudible]
[Joe] Tony, what happens in that moment with you?
[Tony] I just felt her, and felt for her...
and knew something had to be done now.
And in my mind, I said,
"What the fuck do you do with all this?"
This is... inhuman what was done to her.
And I just said, "There is a way." And it...
It just comes through me.
Nothing genius there. [sniffles]
I've never dealt with this issue, obviously, or anything like this, but...
I just decide and I know it's done.
And then it comes out.
It's beautiful to experience and witness.
I just really believe people's, uh, love and caring.
If they led with that, they'd find the way.
I think they lead with their fear they're gonna fail, and I will not fail.
[stammers] Not a person in that situation.
It's not an option. [sniffles]
Under any circumstances.
I know if she's there, she's come to this moment.
She's come to this moment for a reason, and I will not fail her.
It's suffering in my own life
that makes me not let anybody else suffer that I can possibly do something about.
And I love to see people light up,
but I will not let them stay in suffering if I can humanly do anything.
[Joe] But that doesn't tell me why.
[Tony] 'Cause I know what it feels like, and I don't want anyone to feel that way.
[Joe] I had a difficult childhood. I've suffered.
You know, I don't have that capacity.
It's my obsession.
It's an obsession.
It's obsession to break through. It's an obsession to help.
I'm addicted to it. It makes me feel like, um...
my life has deep meaning, not just surface meaning.
And everybody's got their thing, and this is my thing.
[sniffles]
[sighs]
[interviewer] Coming to "Date With Destiny," what was it
that you were seeking or looking to explore about yourself or about life
that brought you here?
One of my limiting beliefs was
that I'm just not very good with people and I don't make good first impressions
and I have a really hard time connecting with people,
and that was the story that's been playing out for decades.
And what I realized is that I love connecting with people.
[interviewer] So that's interesting
because, here, it brings you to "Date With Destiny"
where someone is asked to pick people out of a crowd of 2,500 people. [laughs]
[laughing]
-Yeah. -And, uh, you know, a first impression...
um...
Yeah, you know, I never really-- That's a pretty amazing thing.
[Dawn] Thank you.
You guys did great. Thank you.
-I love you. -[Dawn] I love you, too.
-There you are, my third uncle. -[chuckles]
Thank you.
-Enjoy. You're gonna enjoy. Take care. -Thank you
I'll see you downstairs.
[Dawn] In that moment, it was just such loving energy in that room,
and I just saw their loving faces.
It's super hard nowadays
to really look at someone and believe that it's real, what they feel.
And at that moment, I didn't ask twice. I just knew it was real.
So that was very liberating for me, too.
[crew member] Thank you very much.
-Thank you. -I really appreciate it.
[Julianne Hough] Hi. [Dawn] Hi.
-How are you? -Two awesome ladies.
-I'm good. And you? -Wonderful.
-How do you feel today? -Amazing.
-Yeah. -Amazing.
Well, I know all of us feel amazing, too. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
It gave so much, um, light in all of our lives.
The thing that got me was that...
I was sobbing uncontrollably, not because--
I mean, I was because of the pain that you'd gone through,
-but because of the strength that you had. -Mmm.
And it touched something inside of me
because of certain things that happened in my life, in my past,
not to your extent,
but, um, that I've had to go through and let go of as well.
And I came here last year and that... that set me free.
-Yeah. -And I'm so able to love now.
And I'm able to receive love.
And it's the greatest gift on the planet, so...
-You are so loved. -[chuckles]
To me, what was just so inspiring is that you had the courage
to get up and speak about something that is so unfathomable to all of us.
Oh, my God, I can't.
And so, the thing that struck me the most is that you were able to forgive.
Most of us walk around in this world
with such anger, and such pain, and such hurt [sniffles]
and we wanna hurt others because they've hurt us.
And you were the complete opposite. I just was so moved by that.
I don't know, it's... it's, um...
-You are gonna be so free this year. -...crazy
I can't even tell you.
-I have no doubt about that. -[all chuckling]
[organizer] Everybody to the front of the room, please.
Please quickly make your way to the front of the room.
Good morning, everyone. We'll see you in the front of the room.
[Vicki St. George] Come on over! Come on over! We have to make this quick.
[Tad] So a huge thank you to everybody for yesterday.
Was there some unbelievable magic created in the rooms yesterday?
[audience cheering]
-Tony was definitely on his game. -[organizer 2] Yeah.
Um, [stutters] I think it was... Dawn was the, uh, the Children of... No.
-[Vicki] Soldiers of God. -Soldiers of God.
-[staff members] Children of God. -Yeah, Children of God.
-Children of God, whatever. -We gotta change that.
We had a participant who was also from Brazil,
uh, who said they went through something very similar,
and he brought over a check for the equivalent of $50,000 to give to her,
to allow her to help the other people that had gone through similar things.
[audience cheering]
[Diane] We have key share updates. [Tony] Okay.
Dawn is feeling amazing.
She says it was the best day of her life. She's never been better.
She read all the letters that people have sent, you know, really trusting her.
She woke up and felt so happy
that by being open and letting people into her life,
um, that it released her.
[Tony] She's also received, I think, about $100,000.
[Diane] That's amazing.
[Tony] Do you know that she sold everything she had to come to this event?
-She sold her furniture... -That's crazy.
-...to come to this event. -It's crazy.
[Tony] That's, to me, the wildest thing in the world.
-Holy, she was, like, at her end. -[Diane] Gosh.
[Hali] I watched how compassionate and kind and sweet Tony was with Dawn,
-and rightfully so. -Yeah.
And then I reflected back on the man that was looking at and talking to me,
who was, quite frankly, hard-ass, big time.
-But that's what you needed. -I needed it, and I'm not denying that,
but the little girl in me was a little sad about that when I woke up.
And I thought, "Man, you know,
he's nice to all these other people, and to me, I get the dickhead."
But what it made me realize was that's the kind of--
Well, that's what you get when you bring your masculine energy to a masculine man.
So at first, I was a little bit hurt, and then I went,
"If you'd have been nice and mamsy-pamsy,
I wouldn't have done shit."
So I get it.
So this is your new start. Today's Relationship Day.
[all giggling]
-Anybody excited about Relationship-- -[all] Yeah!
[all cheering]
[Tony] Think of it, what are the two deepest fears everyone has?
-They're not what? -[audience] Enough!
-If they're not enough, they won't be... -[audience] Loved!
[Tony] Where do you have the ability,
have that fear show up the most, except in an intimate relationship,
where you want them to need, to want, to value and to love you most.
This is the area, when we get to
the section of the seminar, the energy can change.
Sometimes, people start to go from the highest high to the most freaked-out low.
We'll look whatever you're afraid of in the eye,
we're gonna push through it. Who's with me on this? Say "aye."
[audience] Aye!
'Cause on the other side, when you get to that place
and you jump through that empty hole that's in front of you,
that unknown, that future,
you're gonna find it's much greater than you've even imagined.
What it takes to make a relationship work is really simple.
It takes unbelievable courage,
because this takes you to the rawest place in yourself.
This is the place, also, the rewards are greater.
If you wanna talk about spirituality, that's wonderful.
Going and sitting and praying is a beautiful thing.
Going in a cave and meditating, that's not an accomplishment.
Try being with a human you love 24/7, whose love you desire,
and keep growing spiritually there.
That's where you're gonna be challenged, not by yourself, all right?
How many people you know say,
"What's your vision for your relationship?"
And they'll tell you, "Are you fucking crazy? Vision?
I got a vision from my business. My vision for-- Here's my vision.
We're gonna go home, fuck, have something to eat. It'll be good."
[audience laughing]
Maybe we know why you're alone. Right?
So we want a vision for it.
That's what's gonna lift the game completely.
We're gonna lift it to a different level.
-How many follow? Say "aye." -[audience] Aye!
So who wants to share?
Raise your hand if you wanna share your visions. We'll hear a sampling.
-[music playing] -[audience cheering]
This lady right here. Yes, ma'am.
Give her a hand!
-Tell us your vision. -[sighs]
I'm really excited to share this.
This is a whole 98% of why I came to this program,
and I'm really excited about this. Um... [chuckles]
"It's a relationship where I can be strong and powerful in my life,
yet when I look at him, I melt.
It's a relationship where I am free, like I am dancing in the stars
because I feel the strength and presence of my man,
and know that nothing could ever shake that.
It's a relationship that makes me feel like a giddy girl,
where his heart and chest
are the place where I can feel the masculine heart of the universe.
His body, when it touches me,
it is safety, warmth, strength, power, calm, adventure,
and allows me to access the entire universe.
When my body touches him,
it is like a supernova of my essence with the rest of the universe."
I like being... feeling the universe. [laughs]
[audience cheering]
"It would bring a strength and power to our lives
that I, at least, have been dying to access
so that we can carry out our souls' mission and vision."
Wow. Very nice. Give her a hand.
-Is there a man in your life right now? -Yes, he's here!
Stand up, sir. Give him a hand!
[audience cheering]
What is your vision, sir?
So my vision is...
that we continue to stand in our essence that we have discovered now,
our true essence, um...
and that we have the ability to snap ourselves back
when we get in times of stress.
-Um, and to ever expand that-- -[audience member] Louder!
To ever expand that essence...
-[Tony] Stop. -Yeah.
It's painful.
[audience laughing]
-Oh... -[Tony] Jesus Christ.
[music playing]
Get out here.
Holy fuck.
That was painful.
[music stops playing]
I cannot believe that's the chest she's talking about putting her head on.
[audience laughing]
That was embarrassing, Lance.
Now you've had some pain with this woman, clearly.
She's a wild fucking creature, isn't she?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
And you look a little beat down.
How long have you been together?
A little over nine years, yeah.
How often do you guys make love?
-About once every two weeks. -[Tony] Once every two weeks. Is that--
Twice a month.
Okay, good.
Sounds like, you know, an enema you might take
or something like that, you know. "Twice a month."
Lance, was your father a powerful man?
Or a feminine man?
-Feminine man. -Got it.
-Pleased your mom all the time? -Yeah.
And you craved your dad's love,
and so who did you have to be for your father?
Whatever would stay out of his way.
-Stay out of his way. -Yeah.
So you learned to let him dominate the situation.
So his wife dominated him, and he dominated you.
Yeah.
This is not a weak man.
This is a man who's been rewarded for being weak
'cause he originally got pain if he were strong, to be fair to him.
And that is a brutal and unfair fucking task.
And I have been through the same period, only with a mother, not a father,
but there is a day in which it all can change.
See, there was a day a long time ago...
It was a time...
when a little baby was born.
And the little baby was there with the baby's mother,
and there was an attack.
And the attack was brutal, and the mother was killed.
And the father, trying to save the child, threw him in the bushes,
so the baby lion lived.
And then the father was massacred as well.
And after the massacre was done, the little baby woke up all alone.
With nothing to even see what his mother would look like.
All he knows is he's alone, barely functioning at an early age.
And then these sheep came by. "Baa."
And the little lion cub came out
and one of the sheep came up and rubbed up against him.
"Baa, baa."
And before you know it, within a few months, he's one of the troop.
You see this little lion going around, going, "Baa, baa, baa,"
Making the same sounds.
And then one day, a group of lions came in,
and they sliced up all the sheep around them.
And now, the little lion is a big fucking lion, going, "Baa, baa."
And he's horrified by it all.
He's in shock.
And this one giant lion comes over and smacks him on the head
and says, "What the fuck is going on with you?"
And he grabs him by the hair and he takes him, he takes him.
And he takes him till he can see a puddle of water there.
And he looks, and he sees he's not a fucking sheep.
But still he's not convinced.
So the lion feeds him some of the sheep,
and he tries to spit it out because it's a vegan and stuff.
[audience laughing]
Are you a vegan?
Okay, that's close enough. [chuckles]
He's horrified. "I can't eat my brethren!"
But then the big lion shoves it into his mouth
and something magical happens inside, something truly magical.
He fucking remembers who he is.
And there's something inside of you that nothing can ever take away.
Nothing.
Something so fucking strong...
that it can be kind, but powerful.
And as the food goes down, a crazy fucking thing happens.
He stops saying, "Baa, baa,"
and he fucking roars.
Give me a roar.
[roars]
-That's the fucking roar! -[audience cheering]
That's the fucking roar! Fuck yes, brother!
That's the fucking roar.
Give me a roar!
[roars]
[Tony] Give me a roar.
[roars]
Give me a fucking roar!
[roars]
That's it.
[roars]
That's the fuckin' roar.
[Joe] Why do you dedicate an entire day
of the seminar to relationships?
[Tony] Because if you don't,
then people will go and they've wired themself for joy and happiness
and then part of their joy and happiness is...
Not all the rules are just tied to them,
they're in a relationship. [coughs]
And that person, they don't know how to interact.
They don't understand, you know. They look--
[chuckles] Women think that men should be like women on some level, and vice-versa.
Um, and so it just creates so much havoc
'cause our culture has what's politically correct
and then there's how people really, truly respond.
And you can see what's real
because you can watch in the room and see it happen,
no matter what country, or what nationality.
It has nothing to do with cultural upbringing.
It has to do with the way we're wired.
And, to me, this is the most important area of life,
so I couldn't leave this out of this.
And relationship magnifies everything else.
[audience cheering]
[Tony] She is not quite sure how to handle this. Did you notice that?
[audience laughing]
She's like, "I kind of like it, but I don't fucking know.
-This is fucking crazy shit." -[Tammi laughing]
What do you feel right now?
-I want it to last. -[Tony] Yes, of course.
By the way, he just gave his all to her.
He just slayed the fucking room.
He just did everything a man can do,
and at his peak moment, when he's the most vulnerable, open,
and should be her fucking hero,
she took a baseball bat and shoved it in his ass.
[audience laughing]
[Tony imitates buzzer noise]
Big F, fucking failure for you on that one.
So let me tell you what will end your relationship.
Selfishness. It's a bad fucking habit.
A man does not just fucking appear.
Heal the boy, and the man will appear.
2:20, how long was that?
-It started at-- -Two hours and nineteen.
-12:05? -12:05.
-That was two hours and 20 minutes? -Yeah.
Everybody sat through the whole thing and didn't move? Holy shit!
-I know. People got amazing value. -They were riveted.
Okay, well, we're not doing "Cycle of Meaning" right now.
-They're gonna have to blow that out. -Yep.
Um, I'll figure a way to do it within a therapy.
-That'll get the essence of that out. -Okay.
-Give me a syntax that shows me that. -Yep. Now?
-Are they done now writing, I assume? -Yeah, they're probably sharing.
Share 'em with a partner. Stand up and share with a partner.
What is it you wanna remember? What'd you take out of this?
What is it that you're gonna utilize for the rest of your life?
-Okay. -Yeah.
But we're two and a half hours behind or two hours behind?
[Diane] Two. [assistant] Two hours.
We have an hour and 40 minutes built in for shares and
-the summary... the breakup of it. -[Tony] Okay, okay.
[stammers] So I'll knock an hour... 40 minutes to an hour off the shares.
-So, I'll only do, like, probably... -All right.
-...one or two interventions, max. -Okay.
[Tony] So we catch an hour back. [Diane] Yeah.
Then maybe what we do is we blow off dinner.
And we do a meal in their seat.
[Diane] Perfect. [assistant] That's fine.
[Tony] Let's just make it a substantial one then.
We're gonna need a substantial one, that's a long day.
Even by my standards, it's a long day.
So it's gonna be a long day for them.
-It'll be a fun day. It'll be an easy day. -[Diane] Yeah.
[Tony] But it's still a long day.
[Sage Robbins] One question I always get asked is,
"Who is he and what's he like behind the scenes?"
Or, "What's he like in life? What's he like in marriage?"
-Hey, Tones, Scotty's here. -Yeah.
[Sage] What you experience him to be on stage is who he is in life.
It's my brother. [chuckles]
In front of the curtain, behind the curtain,
there is that trueness.
Go ahead, gentlemen.
[Sage] He really is that hungry. He really is that passionate.
He really does have that desire to connect.
Hey, let's do one together, too.
Come here, you. How are you?
Tony, guess what?
I have a boyfriend.
-Oh, that's awesome. -For now.
Oh, no, that's awesome.
It's a relationship.
That's a breakthrough, girl.
-That's a relationship. -That's a breakthrough.
[Sage] That level of kindness, that level of heart,
is that man 24 hours a day.
[Tony] You're going to have what you want in your life
'cause you're made of that.
It's gonna be off course most of the time,
but you're gonna land where you wanna be.
-Come on. -All right?
-Love you, man. I love you. -I love you.
[Sage] Because that is who he is.
That actually invigorates him. That does not drain him.
[chuckles] Not... It might drain me. [laughing]
[Tony] My wife, Bonnie-Pearl, and I both are not chit-chat people.
I like to go deep. She does, too.
She's got as much mission as I do and she's as driven as I am.
How... How can--
-[Sage] How can you what? -How can I feel safe inside?
How can you feel safe?
By trusting, by knowing that you're guided.
By knowing that in the right timing, he'll show up for you.
Did you feel that? Go in like this.
That's what needs to happen. Yes.
Okay?
-Oh, I love you. -Yeah, no problem. Thank you.
[Tony] Time disappears when you're doing what you love, right?
And so, when you can be with people and support people,
and you can light them up
or find a little piece that you can tweak for them to help them, you know,
or just give them some sanity
in the middle of some crazy thing they're going through,
that's very fulfilling for me.
So, whether I'm doing it there or from the stage
really doesn't make any difference.
In some ways, it's nice one-on-one
'cause I can only focus on that human being, nobody else.
Let's do a big picture. Merry Christmas. Love you guys. Here we go.
-[Tony] Make some noise! -[crowd cheering]
[crowd chanting] Our love is just a key, for you and me.
Our love is just a key, for you and me.
[crowd cheering]
[Tammi] Last night, we were making love,
and this was the first time ever in my... in my life
that I had sides of myself come out that I never even knew were there.
[sobbing] And when I tried to make them come out before, we never--
It was awkward and weird, 'cause I was trying,
and it was just strange, and I was like, "I don't like this shit.
You know, I'm not being this fucking bad, naughty girl or whatever." [laughs]
My wife and I had a really beautiful experience last night.
And for the first time...
I felt, like, in the core,
that I wanted children.
And for a long time, I, you know, was, like--
We'd talk about it, but I didn't feel it, you know?
[Tammi] I've always wanted to be a mom,
but, like, actually be okay with that happening in my life
without even thinking about it.
Like, without looking at the date and figuring out finances
and figuring out all this shit that I do in my head.
And it was the first night when I was with him that I was like,
"Holy shit. I can do this, because I can do anything with him."
[Diane] So, this just in,
Tammi and Lance apparently had the best sex of their life last night,
and now, for the first time ever, he wants to have children with her.
[Tony chuckling]
[Diane] What?
-[Tony] We have a funny life. -[chuckles] Yes.
[Diane] The show--
-[Tony] I guess the lion came out, huh? -I guess so.
[Tony] How do you know this? They shared this in their group?
[Diane] They shared this with their trainer,
who shared it with Vicki, who told us.
-[Tony] Oh, my goodness. -So they should be in great states today.
-[Tony] And that's awesome. -[Diane chuckles]
[Joe] Tony, it's getting to be near the end. What's happening today?
[Tony] This is when they all are going to redesign their destiny.
Hello again.
They now know what their values and rules are,
and they've learned how to change 'em,
and they're now gonna do the process of changing them.
[whimpers]
I'm gonna go get 'em--
Just a quick review to get 'em in state before they go make these big decisions.
Basically the decisions on what's gonna drive the next decade of their life,
what they're gonna focus on, what's gonna be most important to them.
And it'll be a lot of fun so it's gonna be a fun day.
Whoa!
One high-five to your whole team.
[crowd cheering]
-How many feelin' damn good? Say "yes." -[crowd] Yes!
-Say "yes." -[crowd] Yes!
Grab a seat for a moment.
And I want to make a point of something that I know some of you may be feeling.
For those of you who are concerned
that others are having breakthroughs and you're not.
And they know the clock is ticking. [makes ticking noise]
Right?
There are some of you right now going, "This is nice shit for those people.
[audience laughing]
But I've been here. Day and night! Night and day!
I've written down these freakin' questions.
I've listened to this guy.
I've gone all day without peeing or eating.
[audience cheering]
Clapped my ass off with a bunch of strange people called 'my team.'"
Deep inside, there's this concern that...
you're here and it's next to the last day
and you're without a breakthrough.
[scattered laughter]
So, raise your hand if you find yourself currently breakthrough-less.
You have not had a single breakthrough,
day and night, night and day.
Stand up if you are breakthrough-less.
How could someone go through this entire time and not have a breakthrough?
The answer is "stay in your head--"
Write it down.
"Stay in your head, you're dead."
However, for those of you that managed to achieve no breakthroughs,
the good news is it's not over.
Tonight, you're gonna uncover something that has controlled your entire life,
and you're gonna enhance it or you're gonna transform it.
The way we're gonna do this
is you're gonna write down your primary question.
Everyone has a question you ask more often than anything else on Earth,
and here's why that's so important.
Questions control what you focus on.
What you focus on is what you feel. What you feel is your experience of life.
And then you'll write down your mission statement.
It's something really simple.
It's gonna be one core sentence
that's designed to be a trigger for all that you are.
But you could write 20 pages and it wouldn't be all you are.
We want one phrase that's gonna be really
what you're here to experience and what you're here to give,
what you're here to be and what you're here to do.
And then when you're done with that,
you're gonna make a poster that has these distinctions.
You're gonna write your mission statement across the top.
Below, you're gonna write your new primary question.
You're gonna do your top four, one-year goals.
And if you have a relationship vision you like,
you can add that in the bottom corner.
Why are we doing this?
These are some of the most important decisions
we've made over the last five days together.
Decisions you're gonna make tonight.
They're why you came here.
And the decisions you're gonna make tonight
are gonna touch you and everyone you love.
We get to decide tonight,
"What are you made for at this next stage of your life?
What are you gonna give? What are you gonna become?
What are you gonna do? What are you gonna feel?"
Now is the time for us all to step up.
This next stage is a day you'll remember as long as you live.
It'll be a new birthday for some of you.
A birth you created.
A birth of new values, a new life, and a new direction.
So let's step up and make it happen now.
[panting]
[Tony] It may be my own bias, but I really don't believe
people really feel fulfilled staying where they are.
And the reason is life is growth.
I don't care who it is.
Maybe for a period of time, it's nice to have a respite and go,
"I kind of like being here.
I don't wanna go after something new. Let me breathe and take it in."
[exhales]
But if you sit at the table of success too long, you're gonna get bored.
Progress equals happiness.
If you're growing in anything,
financially, spiritually, emotionally, in your relationship, in your body,
you're gonna feel better in your life. That's what we're made for.
And I think we're meant to grow so we have something to give.
You know, you can't give something you really don't have.
On the very first day, I just asked people,
"What is an extraordinary life for you?"
I want them to identify what's life on their terms.
Is that building a garden or writing poetry?
Then do that and feel it, right? Really, don't settle.
Don't get caught up in the other pieces there.
Or is there a dream that you just give up on
that you're gonna pour yourself back into just so you feel more alive?
I'm a big believer that's it's growth, but there are so many paths,
[chuckling] and I don't have the delusion
that mine is the best or the only or the right path or anything like that.
I'm just a path for somebody who wants to try something new
and say, "I'm gonna look at humanity through different eyes.
I'm gonna see myself through different eyes,
and maybe feel a level of energy I've not felt in decades, years, or ever.
And then I'm gonna take that and go rip my life open to a new level."
That's who I'm for.
[Tad] Come on, everybody.
Doors are open. We gotta get going.
Day six, "Date With Destiny." The party's getting ready to start.
The best stuff is getting ready to happen. You don't wanna miss it. Come on.
[Tony] Today, we're gonna take every single thing,
every major decision we've made this week,
and we're gonna take it through a process
that's gonna take it from being as thoughts or ideas or concepts
-into your body. -[Tad] Doors are open!
Come on back. Come on back, everybody.
Come on.
[Tony] How do we make sure this continues and doesn't end here?
I'll tell you the secret.
I didn't go to an event one time in my life and then I was fit for life.
So you have to have a daily practice.
The training never stops.
You need a system.
-How many agree? Say "aye." -[audience] Aye!
Make that system work, it'll make it happen.
So now, we are gonna take that poster of yours
that has your mission statement, your values,
and we're gonna take it and get it, the core of it, in our nervous system.
And we're gonna do it this way.
You're gonna get with four people, and this group's goal
is to help you to integrate completely everything you've committed to here,
to own it in your nervous system, one million percent.
You're gonna get up there and say,
"I, your name, see, hear, feel and know that I am decisive!"
Whatever the fuck it is, right?
You're either gonna get it, you go, "Yes!"
If there's any ounce of it that's not there, you say nothing.
You're gonna have to use all your sensory acuity, your awareness,
be with this person.
And you're gonna have to feel, do they completely own,
in every ounce of their soul, what they just said?
I wanna warn you about something.
In this room, it's gonna be incredibly loud.
I want you to have to fight to hear.
I want you to have to have everything else trying to distract you
and you having to zero in on this one person,
feeling them with every possible distraction.
That's a muscle we all want, right?
Get your groups of four right now. Go.
[all clamoring]
I, Ryan, see, hear, feel and know that I am bold.
[Dawn] I, Dawn,
see, hear, feel and know that I am love.
-What do I need, guys? Help me. -[man] You were good.
When you say "love," you're not love.
Your love goes deep, very deep inside of you,
real deep, very deep, very, very, very fucking deep!
It's not deep. It's very fucking deep, right?
-Okay. -Okay. [chuckles]
[Tony] This is the point that we've been working for
where you actually redesign what you do with your life.
...and share them.
[Tony] When you guys change your values, one of the most wild things is
some of you are gonna see things you've never seen before.
Notice things you've never noticed, feel things you've not felt before.
Because the priorities of your nervous system,
-literally, will change. -All right.
I, Derek, see, hear, feel and know that I am passion!
Whoo!
-I get that shit. -I didn't feel it. That was a lie.
[Tony] I think destiny is two things.
It's who you're gonna become, and what're you gonna give in this life.
If you don't step up and be that person, she's never gonna find him.
-Fuck that! -You're the one
-that's gonna break the pattern. -Fuck that!
-You're gonna break the pattern. -Now!
[Tony] See, most people are so busy surviving, making a living,
they never design a life.
And if you don't take the time to design it,
which is what we're doing here, you're gonna miss out.
I'm enough! I have always been enough!
-I will always be enough! -Yeah.
I know that you're enough! As you are, you are enough!
How will this change your life forever?
[Tony] You'll snap your fingers, and ten years will happen.
You'll look back and go, "Where did it go?"
Ten years from now, we will surely arrive. The question is, "Where?"
I, Brax, see, hear, feel and know...
...that I am love, I am strength, I am wise, and I am passion!
[indistinct shouting]
[Tony] Anchor that into your body right now, ladies and gentlemen.
[speaking French]
Yeah!
[crowd cheering]
Yes! Yes! Yes!
[Joe] What was the breakthrough moment for you
where you really understood
that this was going to be your mission in life?
I don't know if there's-- You know, everybody wants to think of a moment.
I think life is many stacking moments like that.
I don't think it's one moment where suddenly you have this breakthrough.
I mean, it can happen that way. I'm sure there are--
At times, it seems like that.
But I've had a pretty full life so I don't know if there's one.
I do know that when I was a sophomore in high school,
I had a forensics speech class,
and in that class, I was in love with the senior high school song leader,
like every boy was.
And I was somewhat humorous, and so I would crack her up.
I could make her laugh. I got a lot of attention.
And I would do this where I'd take over the whole class.
-It's like these two jury trials. -[audience laughing]
Listen, since you're both in the room at the same time,
let me just thank everybody.
I gotta say, uh-- I don't know, some of you--
Who's been with me more than ten years of these events?
Look at this! Wow!
One day, the forensics speech teacher, Mr. Cobb, he said,
"Mr. Robbins, you'll remain after class."
Pulls me aside after class.
And I'll never forget, I'm thinking, "Oh, my God, I am so busted."
And he said, "You know why you're here?" I said, "Yes, I know why I'm here, sir."
And he said, "No, you don't. I can tell you don't."
He said, "I know who you are."
I said, "Excuse me?"
He said,
"I know you want the girl's attention. That's not why you're here."
It's pretty rare to be able to serve people in a state like this
where they come and they are willing to put everything on the line
and they're willing to open up.
And I can't thank all of you staff
'cause it doesn't matter what position you play,
you know, moving a chair makes a difference,
bringing the water makes a difference.
'Cause when anything's missing, the whole thing falls apart.
He said, "I have never seen anybody
who could just stand up and speak with no notes,
look around at kids who won't listen
and mesmerize them with just raw communication."
He said, "You're not a speaker." He said, "You're a communicator."
And I was looking at him like he was crazy.
And he said, "I know more about your life, Mr. Robbins,
than you probably think I do or you think anybody does.
I know about your home life." I'm looking at him like, "What?"
And he goes, "I wanted you to read this."
And he hands me this speech and it was called The Will to Win.
And he said, "Just read it.
If it's not your life, give it back to me and forget about it.
But if I've pegged you right, then that speech is you.
And I want you to go compete at this regional final in persuasive oratory."
To my leadership, it feels so incredible that I can go full force into that room
and I know that there are gonna be some people
that are gonna need that individual attention,
and that you guys will grab 'em and be on top of it,
and I think that's the gift of this community we've built here
is we've raised the standard for caring.
And I read the speech and I cried my eyes out.
And it was all about, um...
just never ever, ever, ever giving up.
Just pure will is what keeps you going.
At that stage of my life, that's all it was, was pure will.
And, um, so I read that thing. I said, "This is me,"
and I got up and I went to this regional competition,
and I trounced everybody. I won first place.
And I went to another one, and I won first place, another one, first place.
-Let's grab a picture right here. -[Tony] It was a
breakthrough because I began to realize I had a way I can reach people.
So, I'm deeply touched and I'm very grateful.
Thank you for being my partners and creating another magnificent event
that those human beings will never be the same again.
-Thank you so much. See you all back. -Thank you. Thank you.
[inaudible]
[staff members cheering]
[Joe] Why is it still an emotional experience
for you to even tell that story?
Because I see that as a moment of grace.
That man, you know, in my life,
handing me that letter, seeing who I was in that moment,
that was grace.
There's a lot I've done, but that was grace.
Um, I didn't create that.
And so, while I've done my part to sculpt who I am,
and I've done a hell of a lot about that to say the least,
and it never ends for me.
I also recognize [sputters] grace.
So it's a connection to the divine,
a connection to know that it's more than you,
and I think that's a healthy thing.
Sometimes in life...
we're wanting to make steps forward
but there seems to be something pulling us back.
The human consciousness is an interesting device
in that the brain is learning all the time.
And the brain's primary job is to make sure you survive,
so it's always looking what to protect you from.
And very often in life, we have an experience,
and we react to that experience.
It's like a muscle contracting.
But then we keep it contracted. We never, once it's safe, let go again.
And it limits what we can experience in our life.
Freud figured out that if we could go back to before the moment,
it could heal the moment that was holding you
'cause you'd forgotten something that would make you let go.
So, I'm gonna take you through an experience of doing that
and this process, you don't have to understand it.
This is a journey you're gonna go on.
You'll remember certain things.
And as you remember them,
you can make some new decisions about what they mean
and how it might mean a new life to you.
I'm wondering what your earliest memory is.
Where were you?
What were you experiencing?
What did it mean?
What did you decide back then?
It's a decision that affected the way you think about life.
Okay, now lights down, and we'll do our breath.
We're gonna rise up with our hands,
but as you do it, you're taking the breath in.
[breathing forcefully]
Stop. Stop.
Hands relaxed. Palms face up, relaxed.
Feel your body.
Feel how your breath has calmed your mind.
With your eyes remaining closed,
put both your hands on your heart and breathe deep into your heart.
Breathe in your heart and feel the strength of your heart.
Feel grateful for the gift of your heart.
For as long as it beats, you live.
I want you to think of three moments in your life
that you could feel deeply grateful for if you wanted to.
Just go on a journey of one moment after the other of gratitude.
You may feel a hand touch your head.
If it does, just keep in the state you're in and intensify.
If it doesn't, you'll still feel the energy.
It'll be in you.
[children chattering indistinctly]
[Tony] Really go for it.
Step in the moment, like you're there, looking through your own eyes,
seeing what you saw then, feeling what you felt then,
appreciating...
[laughing]
[Tony] Feeling the blessing of that moment.
What a blessing it was in your life, how grateful you are.
Take in the gratitude of that moment.
Feel it.
Feel what it led to that you feel so grateful for.
That it was a blessing.
In a few moments, you'll open your eyes, feeling integrated, feeling strong...
feeling like a healing, feeling filled with gratitude,
wanting to stretch, to strengthen and to feel fully alive,
more than ever,
feeling at one with yourself and one with life.
Where an energy will come through you
and you can celebrate that with your voice in that moment.
Get ready.
Open your eyes whenever you're ready.
And when you want, you can stand...
and you can begin to stretch,
and you can feel the energy build inside you.
Let it build.
And then make a sound of total joy, total excitement.
One, two, three, go!
[audience cheering]
Feel the guidance that never leaves us.
Take everything in here so you can take it home forever.
Breathe it, feel it, own it, tonight and every night.
You take the greatest gifts of all home, who you've become,
the choices you've made,
the strength, the love, the commitment in your heart.
And the sound will always bring you back to this moment.
One, two, three! Make the sound of who you are!
[audience cheering]
We've been on a little journey.
It wasn't a trip.
A trip is predictable. A trip is boring.
A journey has all kinds of discoveries, doesn't it?
[audience cheering]
Did you discover some new friends?
Did you discover some new feelings?
Did you discover a new you?
So, just for a moment,
think about if you go to a great concert, what are you looking to feel?
Fully alive, isn't it?
Here, you were the concert.
The concert was a family of people from 71 countries
who came together to create music, magic, a transformation.
We brought our desire, our hunger, our love, our caring,
and we left our fear, our limitations, our frustration
and our fucking past behind.
That's what we did here, ladies and gentlemen.
It's been a privilege to serve you.
We've laughed, we've cried, we've broken through.
It was a blind date with destiny. How did she turn out, that date, for you?
[audience cheering]
Until we meet again, hopefully soon,
make your life a masterpiece, my dear friends. God bless you.
[Dawn] This whole week here and "Date With Destiny"
was just a confirmation that by expressing myself
and just not being afraid to be judged or, you know, to let that out,
it touched so many people.
So, that's what I wanna do for the rest of my life, and I don't wanna have fear.
I wanna let that shine. And so I'm excited about that. [chuckles]
[Matyas] It meant a lot to me, the support of other people.
There was a point when I felt, uh,
"Yeah, I can trust. I'm in the right place."
[Hali] Everybody wants to know what happened after the call.
I feel like I came in here and I had the weight of the world with me,
and I feel like I set it down and I don't wanna pick it back up.
Pretty much after I contacted my dad, I was able to stay in contact with him.
We've been texting and talking to each other every day.
I think everything in my life will just be a lot better.
I'll see my dad a lot more.
I definitely want him to be a big part of my life again.
[Lance] Knowing that she's got my back now,
we can push forward and conquer our dreams,
and it's just amazing.
[Tammi] I mean, it makes me so happy
because now I get to choose the stuff that makes me light up.
[Tony] The idea that I can start a chain reaction of transformation
where people-- each one teach one.
You know, I can teach them and they go teach someone else.
When I think about the families who were touched by this week,
when I think about the businesses and employees,
that makes the whole thing worthwhile.
[Joe] What do you hope that this film will capture?
[Tony] My hope is that maybe somebody will watch this film and say, "Oh, wow.
It was really beautiful to watch these people transform."
Just watch it for that,
and maybe that'll make them think about what's possible for themselves.
[Joe] What about giving people a better understanding
of who Tony Robbins is?
I don't know that many people give a shit. [laughing]
Honestly, if that's what your film's success is based on,
I think you're in trouble.
I think it's gotta be based on something bigger than that.
I think it's gotta be based on what makes human beings fulfilled,
what makes them alive, what makes them hungry,
what makes them change.
You know, we all know that change can happen in a moment,
but we're afraid it won't last.
How is it that people can make lasting changes in minutes?
What makes that possible, and is it really real?
And can I taste it and feel it, and could I experience it myself?
I think that's a hell of a lot more interesting than, you know, Tony Robbins.