1 00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:10,176 (grand orchestral fanfare playing) 2 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,660 (gentle melody playing) 3 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,190 TIM: Time is a funny thing. 4 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,233 -When I was a kid... -YOUNG TIM: One. 5 00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:08,943 -...the days lasted forever. -Two. 6 00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:10,320 -Hide, hide, hide! -Three. 7 00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:11,946 -TIM: But the years... -Wait! Over here. 8 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:13,281 -...well, they went by so fast. -Four. 9 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,158 -Five. Six. -Tim, no peeking. 10 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,493 TED SR.: Yeah, no peeking. 11 00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:17,952 -TIM: Before you know it... -Seven. 12 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,329 -...you're all grown-up. -Eight. 13 00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:21,289 -It even happened to me. -Nine. 14 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,291 Nine and a half. Ten! 15 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,502 Ready or not, here I come. (grunts) 16 00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:27,754 My name's Tim, and this... 17 00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,756 well, this is the rest of my story. 18 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,466 -(roars playfully) -Run for your lives! 19 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:33,134 (laughing): No fair, Dad. You peeked. 20 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,928 (laughter, squealing) 21 00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:37,097 -They call me a stay-at-home dad, which means...-Let's go! 22 00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:39,140 ...I hardly get to stay at home. 23 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,101 Buckle up, Templetons. 24 00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:42,727 Ready? 25 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,437 -Set. -Go! 26 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,856 (engine roars, tires squeal) 27 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,358 TIM: Now, some might say 28 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,610 I still have an overactive imagination, 29 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:54,072 but being a dad is the coolest job in the world. 30 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,740 Bunch of cool jobs, really. 31 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,367 (laughing) 32 00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:58,952 Sometimes I'm a race car driver. 33 00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:01,162 CAROL: Whoo! Daddy-o Andretti! 34 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:02,664 TABITHA: Yay, Templetons! 35 00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:04,290 TIM (Southern accent): Well, and then sometimes 36 00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:05,875 I'm the best darn cook in the county 37 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,168 and I deal out every meal. 38 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,421 -Come on, Pa, hit me. -(burps) 39 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:11,297 -(chuckles) Tina. -(Tina laughs) 40 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,550 Whew, doggie! And the house wins again. 41 00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,301 -(thunder crashes) -CAROL: Yay! -TABITHA: Woo-hoo! 42 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:17,929 TIM (spooky voice): Or a surgeon, if need be. (chuckles) 43 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,931 -Spork. -Spork. 44 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,808 -Spatula. -Spatula. 45 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:25,395 Give my creature life! 46 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:28,189 -(growling) -(Carol and Tabitha gasp) 47 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:29,691 She's alive! 48 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,985 TIM: We have our ups, and we have our downs. 49 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,361 -(whimpers) -No, no, no. Look. Look. 50 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,654 -Lamb Lamb's okay. See? -Yay! 51 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,489 TIM: But we always stick together. 52 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,658 -My wife, Carol. -It's a miracle! 53 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,618 TIM: She's the breadwinner of the family. 54 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,537 -(applause) -Thank you. You know what they say: 55 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,247 -"It's all about the dough." -(laughter) 56 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,166 And I couldn't have done it without my husband. 57 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:47,751 He really rose to the occasion. 58 00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:50,003 -It's the yeast I can do. -(cheering) -Yeah, Mama! 59 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,213 TIM: She brings home the bacon, too, 60 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,424 while I keep an eye on our new baby, Tina. 61 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,426 (chuckles): But sometimes, feels like 62 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,386 she's keeping an eye on me. 63 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,013 -And Tabitha... -Thank you! 64 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,182 ...our little second-grader who just got accepted 65 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:03,808 -into the best school in town. -(laughter) 66 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,143 Yay, Tabitha! 67 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,644 TIM: We're so proud. 68 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,313 I still keep in touch with the old gang, too. 69 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:09,856 Believe it or not, Jimbo is mayor now. 70 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,608 -BOTH: Cookie! -Of course, his wife, Staci, 71 00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:13,443 is the real brains behind the operation. 72 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,320 -MAN: Yo, Jimbo! -Now, the Triplets... 73 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,738 -* Busted... * -* Busted... * 74 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,365 -* Busted. * -(sirens wailing) 75 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:20,033 TIM: Yeah, they haven't changed much. 76 00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,910 And as for my baby brother, Ted, 77 00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:24,037 well, he grew up to be the boss, all right. 78 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,623 -He's so busy we hardly see him anymore.-(toy squeaking) 79 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,458 -(phone rings) -But, hey, he always remembers 80 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,919 to send inappropriately lavish gifts 81 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,712 -on special occasions. -(Tabitha squeals) 82 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:35,548 -OMG! Uncle Ted is the best! -(neighing) 83 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,717 -(clatters) -(Tim gasps) 84 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:38,885 (sighs) 85 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,345 TIM: All in all, 86 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,263 my life is pretty perfect. 87 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:43,598 (insects trilling, birds chirping) 88 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,850 But all that was about to change. 89 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,894 (yelps, gasps) 90 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,145 Good heavens. 91 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,314 I'll save you! 92 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,316 -Ha! -(Tina screams, laughs) 93 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,901 Thanks, babe. 94 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,319 Stay calm, Tabitha. 95 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,779 I'm coming for you. 96 00:03:57,821 --> 00:04:01,783 I'm gonna save you from the bubbling lava! 97 00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:03,410 Dad, what are you doing? 98 00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:05,829 Ew, gross. It went everywhere. 99 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:08,415 Come on, this is the candy volcano of doom! 100 00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,625 You used to love it. (mimics explosion) 101 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,752 But I'm trying to do my homework, 102 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,254 or I'm doomed. 103 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,006 Oh. 104 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,216 Because if there's one thing I've learned, 105 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,926 you're only a kid once. 106 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:23,304 Once you grow up, you can never go back. 107 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:26,266 (babbling) 108 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,518 Ee...! 109 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:31,312 (grunts) 110 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,983 (gasps) Oh, no. 111 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,737 Good night, Dr. Hawking. 112 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:46,828 Carbon, boron, beryllium, lithium, helium, hydrogen. 113 00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,913 Nailed it. 114 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,832 Boom shakalaka. 115 00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,377 (laughs) 116 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,463 "Carry the four." (chuckles) Gosh. 117 00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:58,089 -TIM: Hey there, Tabitha. -(Carol whoops, Tina laughs) 118 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,632 It's The Good Night Show. 119 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:02,552 Live from your bedroom, starring Dad and Mom. 120 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:05,305 -And special guest, baby Tina. -(laughing) 121 00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,474 Good night, little Tina. Mwah! 122 00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,267 Come back here, you. (chuckles) 123 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,852 -Good night, Mom. -Mwah! 124 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,520 Good night, sweetheart. Mama's gonna kiss you. 125 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,980 -Mama gonna kiss you. -(Tim clears throat) 126 00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:15,190 * Good night song * 127 00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:16,691 -* With your dad... * -What? 128 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,318 What? It's time for your good-night song. 129 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,028 Oh, no, thanks. 130 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,405 I'm listening to white noise! 131 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,990 Helps me fall asleep! 132 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,159 (mimicking white noise) 133 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:28,370 Hey, what would you say 134 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,331 to me helping you rehearse for the holiday pageant? 135 00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:32,791 -(gasps) -Yes! Right? 136 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,668 I can come to school with you, and you can get 137 00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,336 all your friends together, and we can rehearse together, 138 00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,338 go get some ice cream after. 139 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,423 -My treat. -No! You can't do that. 140 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,467 Um, liability issues. 141 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,344 It's this whole thing. 142 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,680 Oh. Right, right. (chuckles) 143 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:47,931 Right. 144 00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:50,558 Whoa. How about your favorite bedtime story? 145 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,477 You know, the one about... 146 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,562 Uncle Ted was a magical talking baby. 147 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,606 There was a rocket full of puppies, 148 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,608 -and you saved the world. -(shushing) 149 00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:00,026 It was a good story, wasn't it? 150 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:04,072 Well, it didn't really make a lot of sense. 151 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,865 The jokes were good, right? 152 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,325 Mm. 153 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,369 -Okay. Um... -Dad. 154 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:10,662 (yawns) 155 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,039 My schedule is brutal tomorrow. 156 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:16,042 (grunting): Yeah. My schedule's pretty brutal, too. 157 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,044 Oh, don't forget Lamb Lamb. 158 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,879 Good night, Lamb Lamb. 159 00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,798 (kisses) Good night, Uncle Ted. 160 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,634 I hope to grow up and be a success, just like you. 161 00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:26,928 Maybe we'll see you soon. 162 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,934 Good night, Tabitha. 163 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,938 Don't you think I'm a little old for that now? 164 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,607 Uh, okay. 165 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:42,152 I think it's time we both grow up. 166 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:45,530 I look forward to greeting you at the breakfast table. 167 00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,830 Sweet dreams. 168 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,723 Hmm. 169 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,443 Where has the time gone? 170 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,904 WIZZIE: How should I know? (grunts) 171 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,698 -Wait, wait. I see light. -(toy train tooting) 172 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:31,659 You, oh, out of my way. (yells) 173 00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:33,787 (gasps) At long last. 174 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,498 The sweet breath of freedom. 175 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,749 Wizzie? 176 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,459 You there, what century is this? 177 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,795 (shudders) Unhand me, vile ogre! 178 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:43,380 No, no, no, no. Wizzie, it's me. 179 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,923 -It's Tim. -(gasps) 180 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,883 Is it really you? 181 00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,551 Come closer. 182 00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,512 Let me see your face. 183 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,305 Closer. 184 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,391 Closer still. 185 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,226 Oh, Timothy. 186 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:57,477 It is you. 187 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,187 Hey! What was that for? 188 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,398 You cast me into eternal darkness 189 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:04,317 and wreaked havoc on my circadian rhythms. 190 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:05,652 I'm sorry, Wizzie. 191 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,320 Hey, but you look great, though. 192 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,531 Except for the arm, you mean. 193 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:10,824 (chuckles) I didn't even notice. 194 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,242 -You thought it. -I mean, I noticed it, 195 00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:13,868 'cause I... you obviously don't have an arm. I-I... 196 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,787 You would never treat Lamb Lamb this way. 197 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,581 Well, I... I gave her to my daughter, Tabitha. 198 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,375 You have produced an heir, Timothy? 199 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:21,710 Two, actually. 200 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,253 Two? Let the bells ring! 201 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,629 (bells jingling, alarms blaring) 202 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,297 -No, no, no. Wizzie, stop. -Yes! Yes! 203 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,174 -Wizzie, shh! Quiet, quiet. -It's a time for celebration! 204 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:30,176 No, no, no. It's not the time for celebration. 205 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,886 -Wizzie, shh. Be quiet. -What? What is it? 206 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,805 -What is it, Tim? -I don't know. 207 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,640 -(alarms stop) -I guess I'm just not feeling 208 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,767 very celebratory right now. 209 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,686 Oh? 210 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:41,521 Tabitha. (sighs) 211 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:45,692 Man, Wizzie, she's growing up so fast. 212 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,736 It's like she doesn't even need me anymore. 213 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:51,322 Yes, first, they start spending less time with you. 214 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,782 TIM: Mm. 215 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,993 Then they stop coming to you for advice. 216 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:55,994 Exactly. 217 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,121 Soon, they take you for granted. 218 00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,539 I guess. 219 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,499 -Then break your arm. -What? 220 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,084 Then stuff you into a box! 221 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:05,045 Okay. Wizzie, you're... you're not helping. 222 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,338 (Wizzie scoffs) 223 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,714 Okay, I'm just... I'm afraid 224 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,799 Tabitha and I are growing apart, 225 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:12,886 like... like I did with my brother. 226 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,596 Oh. 227 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,682 I thought we had all the time in the world. 228 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,393 But you can't turn back time, can you? 229 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:23,021 How dare you question my power! 230 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:26,441 -Turn back. Turn back. -Oh, here we go. 231 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,069 -Oh, great wheel of li... -Wait. (shushes) 232 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,904 -(Wizzie snoring) -Did you hear that? 233 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:33,907 (gasps) Never abuse the snooze button! 234 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,992 (shushes) It sounds like it's coming from the baby's room. 235 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,994 What is it? A creature of the night? 236 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:41,081 Witches? Is it the baying of the hounds of hell? 237 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,415 Wizzie! 238 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,583 Don't go, Tim! 239 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,168 I can turn back time-- 240 00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:48,755 to the golden years, when it was just you and me. 241 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,423 My good arm. 242 00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:52,175 Don't open the door. 243 00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:54,094 (fading in distance): Remember last time! 244 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,638 (muffled voice speaking indistinctly) 245 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,808 AUTOMATED VOICE: If you would like to make a call, 246 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,309 please hang up and try again. 247 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:05,480 If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator. 248 00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:07,273 Thank you. 249 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,441 (whispers): Hello? 250 00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,026 If you would like to make a call, 251 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,696 -please hang up and try again. -Ah. Just my phone. 252 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,823 Get it together, man. 253 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:17,158 Oh, Tina, you little klepto... 254 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,244 Nighty night. 255 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,453 ...maniac! 256 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,956 (rapid babbling) 257 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,124 Whoa! 258 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,876 Hi, Daddy. 259 00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:28,962 T-Tabitha? Is that you? 260 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,213 (laughing) 261 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,631 (gasps) 262 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,675 (laughing): You should've seen your face. 263 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:35,552 Oh, it's priceless. 264 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:37,053 You're... You... You-you... 265 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,472 (mock gasping) 266 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,974 You-you can talk? 267 00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:43,143 Yep. I'm in the family business. 268 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,812 (whispers): It's a clip-on tie. (shushes) 269 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:48,106 You see, Daddy, BabyCorp is more of what I... 270 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,774 Oops. 271 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,152 Daddy, Daddy, come in. Can you hear me? 272 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,778 -Daddy, do you read me? -(Tim groaning) 273 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,488 Daddy, how many fingers am I holding up? 274 00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:56,698 Thursday? 275 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:57,991 I should've given you a warning. 276 00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,534 I forgot you were an old man. 277 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,036 (yells, spits) 278 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,037 Wait, wait. 279 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,913 -You're from BabyCorp? -Yes. 280 00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:05,915 BabyCorp is more of what I call 281 00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:07,751 -a side hustle for me. -Uh-huh. 282 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,836 The point is I'm all in on the Templetons. 283 00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,338 -Go, Templetons! -Oh! Okay. 284 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,173 You guys really know how to baby a baby. 285 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,758 -I mean, it's incredible. -Oh, oh. (chuckles) 286 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,343 Not that's it's all five-star. 287 00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,345 -I have to say, you got a lot of issues. -Sure. Yeah. 288 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,554 We'll talk about that later. 289 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:20,972 Oh, my gosh. I can't believe this. 290 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,141 Hey, want to go scare the crap out of Mom? 291 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,101 -Daddy, please stay focused. -(chuckles) Oh. 292 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,644 (grunts) Right, right, right. 293 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,355 There's a crisis at BabyCorp. 294 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,481 What is it this time? 295 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,523 (gasps) Kittens? 296 00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:32,650 No. This time, it's even worse. 297 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,902 -Worse than kittens? -Yes. 298 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,695 That's why I volunteered for 299 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,572 -this supersecret assignment. -TOY: Mommy. 300 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,491 Ooh, I want to help. What-what do you want me to do? 301 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,034 That's the spirit, Daddy. 302 00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:43,870 -You are exactly who I need. -Yes! 303 00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,663 To get Uncle Ted. 304 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,374 No. What? 305 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:48,875 What-What's with the face? 306 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,378 Daddy, BabyCorp can't wait any longer. 307 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,671 All the pressure's on me, Pop. 308 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,881 When I volunteered for this gig, 309 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,800 I thought it would be easy. 310 00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,385 But you two never see each other. 311 00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,969 It's so sad. 312 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:02,180 It's like, "F-minus. See me after class." 313 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,390 (gargles) 314 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,724 Sad? Uh, yeah, maybe. 315 00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:05,934 A little. I don't know. 316 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,352 Did you forget to call him? 317 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,270 I noticed you can be a little absentminded. 318 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:10,647 Sorry, what? 319 00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,399 It's just that you tend to procrastinate. 320 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,567 -You have to get him here for the holidays. -(line ringing) 321 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:15,860 -No, I'm not... -(ringing stops) 322 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,278 No, I'm not gonna call him right now. 323 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,738 -Daddy, can't never could. -No. -(line ringing) 324 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,115 Did you two have a fight or something? 325 00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,908 -No. -But you're mad at him? 326 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,202 -Stop that. It's complicated. -(ringing stops) 327 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,329 -Why? Do you need help using your phone? -(line ringing) 328 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,081 -No, I don't need help using my... -(ringing stops) 329 00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:29,624 -Okay. What's the problem? -(sighs) -(line ringing) 330 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,126 What's the issue? Talk to me. 331 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,877 -There's no point, okay? -(ringing stops) 332 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,921 I call him. I invite him. He never shows up. 333 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:36,923 He's always got a work meeting or a business trip 334 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,591 or a conference call. 335 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,468 All he cares about is work. 336 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:44,431 But after a while, you... you just stop trying. 337 00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,641 -He's still your brother. -(line ringing) 338 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,935 You were partners. 339 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,687 -Yeah, I guess sometimes you just... -(ringing stops) 340 00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:54,816 you grow up and grow apart. 341 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:57,902 -(line ringing) -(gasps) 342 00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,571 Daddy, don't say no. 343 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:00,989 What if everybody said no? 344 00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:02,157 Nothing would happen. 345 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:03,575 Nothing would get off the ground. 346 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,909 You got to wake up every day 347 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,703 and you got to say, "Yes, yes, yes!" 348 00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:10,123 Surprise me. Say yes. 349 00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:11,291 (sighs) 350 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,167 (ringing stops) 351 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,794 This is really disappointing. 352 00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:17,088 -And now I'm getting mad! -It's late. 353 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,174 We can work on this tomorrow, okay? 354 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,884 -(grunts) -(toy squeaks) 355 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,803 Oh. Whoopsie. Your little horsey fell off. 356 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:26,348 Another day won't hurt, right? 357 00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:28,850 Good night, sweetie. 358 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,602 -(door closes) -(scoffs) 359 00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,188 (tape rewinding) 360 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,647 TIM (recorded): Good night, sweetie. 361 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,483 -...horsey fell off. -(rewinding) 362 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,151 Tabitha? 363 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,999 (low rumbling, objects rattling) 364 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,503 Huh? 365 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,380 (gasps, squeals) 366 00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:27,409 Uh, don't worry. I got it. 367 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,285 -(Tim yells, groans) -Where is she? Where is she? 368 00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:31,037 -Where's who? What? -I came as fast as I could. 369 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,580 -Ted? -I canceled all my meetings. 370 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,541 What are you doing here? (grunts) Why are you yelling? 371 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:35,792 -Where's Tabitha? -Tabitha? 372 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:37,210 -Where is she, Tim? -CAROL: Ted. 373 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:38,878 Uncle Ted, you're here! You're really here. 374 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,463 -Which arm is it? Left or right? -Huh? 375 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,382 -Is it your fibula? Talk to me. -Whoa. 376 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:44,050 -Good dilation. Open up. -(groans) 377 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,969 -Say, "Ah." Are you okay? -Wh-What are you doing? 378 00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:47,262 -You look okay. -Whoa. 379 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,055 Don't worry. I'm fine, Uncle Ted. 380 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,391 -That's my girl. -Woo-hoo. 381 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,018 Uh, wh-what brings you into town? 382 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,394 Well, Tabitha fell off her pony. 383 00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:56,229 -She did? -She did? 384 00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:57,230 I did? 385 00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:59,399 -Tim left me a voice mail. -He did? 386 00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:00,942 -I did? -You did. 387 00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:02,861 TIM (cobbled from recording): Hello. This is your brother. 388 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,571 Help. Tabitha fell off horsey. 389 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:05,822 Good night, sweetie. 390 00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:07,490 Well, that was unsettling. 391 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,077 I swear I didn't leave that message. 392 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:14,164 -(coos) -On... purpose. 393 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:15,290 I... 394 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,291 Butt-dialed? 395 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,792 (chuckles) With my butt. 396 00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,169 While I was talking in my sleep. 397 00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,754 I do that sometimes. 398 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,380 You sleep-butt-dialed me? 399 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,467 -With my butt. -(Carol chuckling) 400 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:28,887 I knew there must be a perfectly logical explanation. 401 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,680 (chuckles) And there it is. 402 00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:32,599 -TED: Hmm. -All that matters is that you're here. 403 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,809 -TABITHA: Woo-hoo! Yay! -(Tina squeals) 404 00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:36,269 -Absolutely. Uh, for now. -(Tina giggling) 405 00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:38,271 Uncle Ted, please stay for Christmas. Please. 406 00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:40,940 Sorry, sweetie. I can't do Christmas on the 25th. 407 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:43,193 But, Uncle Ted, I missed you so much. 408 00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:44,944 (echoing): I missed you so much. 409 00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,613 -I missed you so much. -Mm... wah! 410 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:48,573 TABITHA: Don't you think I'm a little old for that now? 411 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,283 (echoing): Don't you think I'm a little old for that now? 412 00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,951 Don't you think I'm a little old for that now? 413 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,995 (chuckles) Can I talk to you in the kitchen? 414 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,373 Alone. 415 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,377 -TED: The baby, Tim? -(shushes) 416 00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:03,046 She's been sent from up there. 417 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:05,715 -Upstairs? -That's right. BabyCorp. 418 00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:09,260 So you're saying the voice mail was some kind of call for help. 419 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,262 Yes! No. 420 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,182 She comes from a secret corporation run by babies. 421 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:18,144 Tim, I'm gonna give you the name of a doctor. 422 00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:21,981 Roy Federman. Just tell him I sent you, okay? 423 00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:23,233 (hushed): What are they saying? 424 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:24,734 We should give them some privacy. 425 00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,027 -Here you go. -Ooh. Thanks. 426 00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:27,362 TIM: I'm not crazy! 427 00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,114 You just don't remember. Tell him, Tina. 428 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,448 -He... I... -TED: She can't talk, Tim. 429 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,158 -TIM: Stop interrupting. -(Tina groans) 430 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,493 TED: Interrupting what? I don't hear anything. 431 00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:35,662 Except your obnoxious voice. You hear that. 432 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,831 I have a beautiful voice. 433 00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,249 -(groans) -TIM: Fine. 434 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,126 I can prove that everything I'm saying is real. 435 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,502 -TED: Oh, yeah? -TIM: Yeah! 436 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:43,503 Suck it, Ted. 437 00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,546 I beg your pardon? 438 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:45,672 You, suck. 439 00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,132 No, no, Tim. You suck. 440 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,508 CAROL: Time to go buy a Christmas tree. 441 00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,218 But we already have a Christmas tree. 442 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,429 -No, we don't. No, we don't. -Yes, we do. Yes, we do. 443 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,014 Suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it. 444 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,557 -Get that pacie out of my face! -Excuse me. 445 00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,685 I hate to interrupt, but may I make a suggestion? 446 00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,061 Why don't you both suck it? 447 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:02,022 -Ha! (whoops) -(grunts) 448 00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,815 (grunting) 449 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,817 -She can talk. -A lot. 450 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:06,985 (whoops) 451 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,611 Buckle up, boys. 452 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,238 (sucking rapidly) 453 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,532 (all screaming) 454 00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,868 -TINA: Baby on board! -(Tim whooping) 455 00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:17,078 -That's what I'm talking about! -(laughs) Woo-hoo! 456 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,497 (screaming) 457 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,042 (sighs) 458 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,595 TIM: Yeah! Woo-hoo! 459 00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:36,056 (both grunt) 460 00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,724 (yelps) 461 00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,768 -Wow. -(Tina laughs) 462 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,394 (gasps) 463 00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:42,729 I'm home. 464 00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,022 TIM: Yeah. See? 465 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:45,482 It's all real. 466 00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:46,566 TED: Whoa. 467 00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:48,735 Is that me? 468 00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:51,488 TINA: If you're fishing for a compliment, you caught one! 469 00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:53,907 You are a legend in this joint. 470 00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:55,408 A statue? 471 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,952 Well, I did single-handedly save the company. 472 00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,496 Double-handedly. 473 00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:00,914 (chuckling): Right? We were partners. 474 00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,040 Really? 475 00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,750 I don't see your statue. 476 00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:05,377 I still love you, Daddy. 477 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,379 TIM: They got the head size right. 478 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,672 (ding) 479 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,924 TED: Take it from me, you have to be aggressive 480 00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,217 if you want to get ahead. 481 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,927 Climb that corporate ladder 482 00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,596 -until you're the last baby standing at the top. -TIM: Wow. 483 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:19,557 Actually, I prioritize a good work-life balance 484 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:23,103 and a positive environment where my ideas are valued. 485 00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:25,271 (laughing) 486 00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:26,648 Oh, you're serious. 487 00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,525 You're funny, Uncle Ted. 488 00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,777 I wonder why they didn't mention that in your file. 489 00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:31,945 My file? 490 00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,488 -You saw my file? -(Tim sighs) 491 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:34,781 -Yep. -What does it say? 492 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,116 It says a lot. 493 00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:38,535 -This is the Crisis Center. -Whoa. Wow. 494 00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:41,037 This is where we monitor all threats 495 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,039 to babies around the world. 496 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,332 And Hawaii. 497 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,126 This is so cool. This is so cool. 498 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,128 (roaring): I'm Godzilla. 499 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:49,671 "Oh, run for your lives! Run for your lives!" 500 00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:52,048 -Why did we bring him? -Daddy, get down from there. 501 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:54,801 -Aw. -We can play on it later when no one is looking. 502 00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,511 -What's the crisis? -Yeah. 503 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,138 Here we go. What's the crisis, sweetie? 504 00:18:58,179 --> 00:18:59,556 Rusty, roll it. 505 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,474 (snores, whines) 506 00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:03,476 He's new. 507 00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:07,313 DR. ARMSTRONG (over speakers): Just imagine, baby surgeons. 508 00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:09,649 -(buzzer sounds) -Uh-oh. -(babies giggling) 509 00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,985 Or baby astronauts. 510 00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:15,155 (singsongy): Floaty, floaty, float. 511 00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:18,491 Yes, babies are gonna run the world one day. 512 00:19:18,533 --> 00:19:21,745 And that day is coming sooner than you think. 513 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:24,748 Hello. My name is Dr. Erwin Armstrong, 514 00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:27,334 founder of The Acorn Center for Advanced Childhood. 515 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:29,294 Wait a minute, that's... that's Tabitha's school. 516 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,671 Here at the center, we believe babies 517 00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:34,299 are the ultimate learning machines. 518 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,259 Isn't that right, little Nathan? 519 00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:38,428 -Yeah! -(chuckles): Okay. 520 00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:40,013 They should use their precious time 521 00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:42,474 to develop faster, push harder. 522 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,892 -Hmm. -(Tim scoffs) -Parents, they have the best 523 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,853 intentions, of course, but they're not experts. 524 00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:50,982 After all, the only thing holding your child back is... 525 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:52,776 -you. -KIDS: You! 526 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,487 This explains why Tabitha's been pulling away from me. 527 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,405 -It's the school. -ARMSTRONG: Everybody, wave. 528 00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:58,990 -Bye, Mommy. -KIDS: Bye, Mommy! 529 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,241 -Bye, Daddy. -Bye, Daddy! 530 00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:02,869 (singsongy): Sayonara. 531 00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:04,954 Now, in the past six months, 532 00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:07,957 these schools have been popping up all over the world. 533 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:09,209 Uh, so what's the problem? 534 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,877 The school is the problem. 535 00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:12,337 Yeah. School is evil. 536 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,547 No, Daddy, not all schools are evil. 537 00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,675 -It's just this one, okay? -Okay. 538 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,802 If Armstrong's philosophy keeps spreading, 539 00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,970 it could be the end of childhood. 540 00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:22,430 No. 541 00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,766 Childhood was the worst three years of my life. 542 00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:26,351 That's so sad. 543 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,228 You probably just didn't do it right. 544 00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,521 -Huh? -Aw. 545 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,773 But luckily, you get a do-over. 546 00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:33,983 A second chance. 547 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:38,655 BabyCorp has developed a new super-duper baby formula 548 00:20:38,697 --> 00:20:41,574 -that can turn a grown-up back into a baby. -(baby coos) 549 00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,910 We have it in cherry, grape, orange and lime. 550 00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:45,704 -For real? -Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 551 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,664 -You want me to be a baby? -Hey, it's what you do best. 552 00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:49,791 So you can infiltrate the school and find out 553 00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:52,502 what Dr. Armstrong is really up to. 554 00:20:52,544 --> 00:20:55,088 BabyCorp will take care of the rest. 555 00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:56,923 (whoops) 556 00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:58,591 (Tim gasps, laughs) 557 00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:00,593 It's the perfect disguise. 558 00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:03,555 And it only lasts 48 teensy-weensy hours. 559 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,348 Oh, I am in on the mission. 560 00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,516 -Sorry, Pops. -Ow. 561 00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:08,393 -It's not your mission. -Aw. 562 00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:10,437 "Warning: may cause drooling, babbling, 563 00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:12,272 "emotional outbursts, fits of laughter, 564 00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:16,276 loss of bowel control, chubby thighs"? 565 00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:19,112 I think some guys at my gym take this stuff. 566 00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:20,238 (screams) 567 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,032 My texting hand! 568 00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:24,367 -Even though it is your daughter's school. -(screaming) 569 00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:25,869 Doesn't seem fair, does it? 570 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,370 Daddy, no. Please stop. 571 00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:28,788 (glugs) Whoa! 572 00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:30,498 (babbling rapidly) 573 00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,417 What? It actually works. 574 00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:33,626 (Ted straining) 575 00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:35,462 -TED: It's mine! -(yells) 576 00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:37,297 -I'm better with this kind of thing! -Oh! 577 00:21:37,339 --> 00:21:38,840 (glugs, screams) 578 00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:41,134 And what kind of thing is that, Flock of Seagulls? 579 00:21:41,176 --> 00:21:42,969 -(both grunting) -(record scratches) 580 00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:45,263 ("The Time Warp" from Rocky Horror Picture Showplaying) 581 00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:46,806 -Everything! -Gotcha! 582 00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:49,642 You might feel very emotional, have some mood swings. 583 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:50,935 -(glugging) -(Ted yells) 584 00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:52,187 Oh! (babbles) 585 00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:53,730 Hey! (screams) 586 00:21:53,772 --> 00:21:56,024 Ouch. There's the awkward stage. 587 00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:57,650 Now, the tea's hot, Connie. 588 00:21:57,692 --> 00:21:59,652 You always have to be the hero, don't you? 589 00:21:59,694 --> 00:22:01,571 What's that supposed to mean? (grunts) 590 00:22:01,613 --> 00:22:03,823 Never see him... (frightened whimpering) 591 00:22:03,865 --> 00:22:05,825 All of a sudden, he shows up with a pony. 592 00:22:05,867 --> 00:22:09,079 (screams) You're just jealous, helmet head. 593 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,497 She's my daughter! 594 00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:12,165 She's my niece. (screams) 595 00:22:12,207 --> 00:22:14,167 -(grunts) -Do you want cream or sugar? 596 00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:15,710 (both yelling) 597 00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:17,712 I was always the successful one. 598 00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:20,340 Mommy says no running in the house. 599 00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:21,591 (slurps) Mm. 600 00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,843 Hand over the bottle, mullet. 601 00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:25,637 (grunting) 602 00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:28,014 -(screams) -You can't hug money, you know. 603 00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:29,307 (glugs, babbles) 604 00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:30,725 (grunts) 605 00:22:31,685 --> 00:22:34,145 But you can, Tim. You can. 606 00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:37,148 (both yelling) 607 00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:39,067 Men. Am I right? 608 00:22:39,109 --> 00:22:42,112 (both yelling, grunting) 609 00:22:42,153 --> 00:22:44,030 (glugging) 610 00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:46,116 (slow-motion yelling) 611 00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:48,243 (screams, grunts) 612 00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:49,953 It's not personal. 613 00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:51,788 It's business, Leslie. 614 00:22:51,830 --> 00:22:52,872 (grunts) 615 00:22:52,914 --> 00:22:54,916 Well, it's personal to me, Lindsey. 616 00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:57,585 (both scream) 617 00:22:57,627 --> 00:23:01,006 (both whimpering) 618 00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:02,882 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! Ow, ow, ow! 619 00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:04,759 I'm sorry, Connie. I have to cut this short. 620 00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:06,886 Tomorrow, we'll talk about your problems. 621 00:23:06,928 --> 00:23:09,639 Okay, time-out! This has gone far enough! 622 00:23:09,681 --> 00:23:11,224 TABITHA: Hey. We're home. 623 00:23:11,266 --> 00:23:12,767 (grunts) And we got another tree. 624 00:23:12,809 --> 00:23:14,019 A real one. 625 00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:15,061 (all gasp) 626 00:23:15,103 --> 00:23:16,479 Um, upstairs now. 627 00:23:16,521 --> 00:23:17,897 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. 628 00:23:17,939 --> 00:23:19,357 -(both grunting) -CAROL: Push it. No, no, pull. 629 00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:20,483 -Go, go, go, go, go. -Push it up. 630 00:23:20,525 --> 00:23:22,068 -(grunts, whoops) -Pull. No, okay. 631 00:23:22,110 --> 00:23:24,154 -To the right. -How come I have the heavy end? 632 00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:26,072 CAROL: Because you're young and strong, honey. 633 00:23:26,114 --> 00:23:27,449 Little bit more. 634 00:23:27,490 --> 00:23:28,616 -Me first! -(grunts) 635 00:23:28,658 --> 00:23:29,909 -CAROL: Come on. -Get off. 636 00:23:29,951 --> 00:23:31,745 -Tim? Ted? -Mom. 637 00:23:31,786 --> 00:23:33,121 Get the cord. Get the cord. 638 00:23:33,163 --> 00:23:34,414 Get the cord, get the cord, get the cord! 639 00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:36,124 You just can't disappear. 640 00:23:36,166 --> 00:23:37,459 You need a cover story. 641 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:38,960 -TED: Ow! -Oh, right. 642 00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:40,086 My soft spot. 643 00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:41,254 CAROL: Where are you guys? 644 00:23:41,296 --> 00:23:42,464 Uh, uh, tell her you're packing. 645 00:23:42,505 --> 00:23:45,300 We're upstairs, uh, packing. 646 00:23:45,342 --> 00:23:46,760 -Packing? For what? -(Tabitha yells) 647 00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:48,511 Ooh. You're going on a brother bonding trip. 648 00:23:48,553 --> 00:23:51,097 -We're going on a brother bonding trip. -Ow! 649 00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:52,724 Now? 650 00:23:52,766 --> 00:23:54,392 But, Tim, your parents are coming tomorrow. 651 00:23:54,434 --> 00:23:56,102 They can help out. 652 00:23:56,144 --> 00:23:57,979 Yeah, they could help out. 653 00:23:58,021 --> 00:24:00,899 What... No, you can't leave me alone with your parents. 654 00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:02,567 -(Tina yells, laughs) -Oh, Tina! 655 00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:05,236 (grunts) What are you doing? 656 00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:06,738 (both grunting) 657 00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:08,948 All right, you know what? You're going to baby jail. 658 00:24:08,990 --> 00:24:10,784 -Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! -Tabitha! 659 00:24:10,825 --> 00:24:12,285 -CAROL: Oh, honey, I'm sorry. -TABITHA: A little help here. 660 00:24:12,327 --> 00:24:13,745 CAROL: Honey, hold it up. Hold it up. 661 00:24:13,787 --> 00:24:15,455 (deep voice): This is Ted Templeton, a man. 662 00:24:15,497 --> 00:24:17,165 You can go ahead and take off. I have urgent family business. 663 00:24:17,207 --> 00:24:19,376 -CAROL: To the right, honey. -Yes, I have a family. 664 00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:21,294 -Tim, I'm coming up there. -(Tina gasps) 665 00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:23,254 Yeah, we need to talk. 666 00:24:23,296 --> 00:24:24,923 TABITHA: Hey, Mom? 667 00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:26,132 Oh! Tina! 668 00:24:26,174 --> 00:24:27,550 (squeals, laughs) 669 00:24:27,592 --> 00:24:29,594 Put that down. Put that down. Put that down. 670 00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:30,970 -Put that down. Put that down. -Tina! 671 00:24:31,012 --> 00:24:33,807 -Put that down! Get back here! -(laughing) 672 00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:36,309 Tina, stop! (grunting) 673 00:24:36,351 --> 00:24:38,436 CAROL: What has gotten into you? 674 00:24:38,478 --> 00:24:40,146 -Time for us to go! -(grunts) 675 00:24:40,188 --> 00:24:41,648 -What? Now? -TED: Yeah. 676 00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:44,526 -My helicopter's double-parked. -Bye! 677 00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:46,695 -Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So soon? -Oh, no. 678 00:24:46,736 --> 00:24:48,822 -(both scream) -(wind whistling) 679 00:24:48,863 --> 00:24:51,700 -(helicopter whirring) -(panting) 680 00:24:53,118 --> 00:24:54,869 What... Did they really just leave? 681 00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:55,995 Yep. 682 00:24:56,037 --> 00:24:57,872 -Hide! -(Ted and Tim whimpering) 683 00:24:57,914 --> 00:25:00,917 (groans) I got to lose this baby fat. 684 00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:02,544 (Carol sighs) 685 00:25:02,585 --> 00:25:04,671 Tina! What is your problem? 686 00:25:04,713 --> 00:25:06,840 (Tina laughing) 687 00:25:10,677 --> 00:25:12,429 CAROL: Now, you're gonna wake up tomorrow 688 00:25:12,470 --> 00:25:14,055 and be good, Tina. 689 00:25:14,097 --> 00:25:15,390 No more devil baby. 690 00:25:15,432 --> 00:25:16,683 Deal? 691 00:25:16,725 --> 00:25:19,019 -(coos) -Okay. 692 00:25:21,146 --> 00:25:23,064 (both gasping for air) 693 00:25:23,106 --> 00:25:24,232 (both scream) 694 00:25:24,274 --> 00:25:25,483 Ew. 695 00:25:25,525 --> 00:25:26,943 (both scream) 696 00:25:26,985 --> 00:25:29,195 -(chiming) -Thanks so much for coming in, ladies. 697 00:25:29,237 --> 00:25:30,530 Would you like some fruit? 698 00:25:30,572 --> 00:25:31,573 Mm. Ow! 699 00:25:31,614 --> 00:25:32,574 What was... Hey! 700 00:25:32,615 --> 00:25:34,159 Uh, can we get on with this? 701 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,369 (grunts, groans) 702 00:25:36,411 --> 00:25:38,038 I miss my teeth. 703 00:25:38,079 --> 00:25:40,081 I've decided who's going on the mission. 704 00:25:40,123 --> 00:25:41,332 Thank you. I accept. 705 00:25:41,374 --> 00:25:42,417 Both of you. 706 00:25:42,459 --> 00:25:43,960 -Yes! -No. 707 00:25:44,002 --> 00:25:45,712 BabyCorp wants to get the team back together, huh? 708 00:25:45,754 --> 00:25:46,838 (laughs): No. 709 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,214 They think that's a terrible idea. 710 00:25:48,256 --> 00:25:49,382 Of course they do. 711 00:25:49,424 --> 00:25:51,217 Well, I'm the boss, applesauce. 712 00:25:51,259 --> 00:25:54,220 And I think you two are better together than you are apart. 713 00:25:54,262 --> 00:25:57,515 Well, I work alone-- or at least not with him. 714 00:25:57,557 --> 00:25:59,559 Hey. There's no "I" in "team." 715 00:25:59,601 --> 00:26:01,561 Actually, there's no "U" in "team," either, 716 00:26:01,603 --> 00:26:03,772 -but there is an "M-E." -T-E-A-M... 717 00:26:03,813 --> 00:26:05,732 But teamwork doesn't seem work. 718 00:26:05,774 --> 00:26:08,109 Ah. If you want something done right, do it yourself. 719 00:26:08,151 --> 00:26:10,653 -We're all in it together. -Every man for himself. 720 00:26:10,695 --> 00:26:12,405 One is the loneliest number. 721 00:26:12,447 --> 00:26:14,282 -The ayes have it. -We the people! 722 00:26:14,324 --> 00:26:16,159 Aha! 723 00:26:17,452 --> 00:26:18,745 Oh. So sorry. 724 00:26:18,787 --> 00:26:20,163 (whispers): Okay. Good night. 725 00:26:20,205 --> 00:26:21,581 Whew. 726 00:26:21,623 --> 00:26:23,708 Guess we'll just have to melt down your big old statue 727 00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:25,585 and turn it into participation trophies. 728 00:26:25,627 --> 00:26:27,420 Please, no, don't hurt my statue. 729 00:26:27,462 --> 00:26:30,507 Now, we have secret intel 730 00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:35,637 that Dr. Armstrong leaves his office every morning at 11:15. 731 00:26:35,679 --> 00:26:37,138 You need to sneak in there, 732 00:26:37,180 --> 00:26:39,391 plant these surveillance devices, 733 00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:41,434 and report back to me. 734 00:26:41,476 --> 00:26:42,560 Oh, man, this is so cool. 735 00:26:42,602 --> 00:26:43,728 (echoing over speaker): Testing. 736 00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:45,105 * Strangers in the night... * 737 00:26:45,146 --> 00:26:47,607 Now, I've arranged for a school bus 738 00:26:47,649 --> 00:26:49,943 to be here at 8:00 a.m. sharp! 739 00:26:49,984 --> 00:26:51,569 -Thank you, Connie. -CONNIE: Nighty night. 740 00:26:51,611 --> 00:26:53,071 Do not be late. 741 00:26:53,113 --> 00:26:54,322 Got it. 742 00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:56,282 Easy-breezy, taco-peasy, boys. 743 00:26:56,324 --> 00:26:58,159 Let's get some sleep! 744 00:26:58,201 --> 00:27:00,120 (snoring) 745 00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:06,334 (coos softly) 746 00:27:20,015 --> 00:27:22,183 CAROL: Hey, what's the matter? 747 00:27:23,685 --> 00:27:24,936 TABITHA: It's nothing. 748 00:27:24,978 --> 00:27:26,312 CAROL: Oh, sweetie, don't worry. 749 00:27:26,354 --> 00:27:27,647 I'm sure your dad will be back 750 00:27:27,689 --> 00:27:29,315 in time to see you in the pageant. 751 00:27:29,357 --> 00:27:30,692 TABITHA: That's okay. 752 00:27:30,734 --> 00:27:32,068 CAROL: What? Don't you want him to come? 753 00:27:32,110 --> 00:27:34,654 -TABITHA: I guess. -CAROL: Of course you do. 754 00:27:34,696 --> 00:27:36,614 Now, go back to sleep. 755 00:27:36,656 --> 00:27:38,033 TABITHA: Good night, Mom. 756 00:27:38,074 --> 00:27:40,368 CAROL: Good night, sweetie. 757 00:27:47,876 --> 00:27:49,919 (coos softly) 758 00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:01,181 CAROL: Don't you want him to come? 759 00:28:01,222 --> 00:28:03,099 -TABITHA: I guess. -(gasping) 760 00:28:03,141 --> 00:28:04,392 (screams) 761 00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:06,770 Don't you think I'm a little old for that now? 762 00:28:06,811 --> 00:28:09,522 I think it's time we both grow up. 763 00:28:09,564 --> 00:28:11,107 -(grunts) -(thunder crashes) 764 00:28:11,149 --> 00:28:12,901 (gavel slamming) 765 00:28:14,069 --> 00:28:16,613 The trial of Timothy Leslie Templeton 766 00:28:16,654 --> 00:28:18,031 is now in session. 767 00:28:18,073 --> 00:28:19,407 -Ha! Leslie. -(laughter) 768 00:28:19,449 --> 00:28:21,534 Trial? Wait, what... what are the charges? 769 00:28:21,576 --> 00:28:22,869 Fraud. 770 00:28:22,911 --> 00:28:25,538 Claiming to be the world's best dad. 771 00:28:25,580 --> 00:28:26,998 -But I never said... -Exhibit A. 772 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,209 -Oh, come on. That was a gift. -(gallery gasping) 773 00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:32,253 I suggest you let your attorney do the talking. 774 00:28:32,295 --> 00:28:34,422 (gasps) Oh, no. 775 00:28:34,464 --> 00:28:36,966 Back in my day, you had to earn one of these babies. 776 00:28:37,008 --> 00:28:38,259 -Dad, what? I did not... -(gallery gasping) 777 00:28:38,301 --> 00:28:41,054 His best friend was an alarm clock. 778 00:28:41,096 --> 00:28:41,846 Mom. 779 00:28:41,888 --> 00:28:44,516 (groans) He broke my arm. 780 00:28:44,557 --> 00:28:46,059 No, I didn't! It was my brother. 781 00:28:46,101 --> 00:28:47,227 Objection, Your Honor. 782 00:28:47,268 --> 00:28:48,687 Sustained. 783 00:28:48,728 --> 00:28:50,313 We the jury find the defendant... 784 00:28:50,355 --> 00:28:51,815 ALL: A failure! 785 00:28:51,856 --> 00:28:53,608 Tabitha, will you please help me out? 786 00:28:53,650 --> 00:28:54,984 Whoa! 787 00:28:55,026 --> 00:28:57,404 Dad, the homework, it's just too much. 788 00:28:57,445 --> 00:28:58,571 -Whoa! -Tabitha! 789 00:28:58,613 --> 00:28:59,781 -Time's up. -(alarm ringing) 790 00:28:59,823 --> 00:29:02,367 -Wait. No! -Save me, Daddy! Save me! 791 00:29:02,409 --> 00:29:04,619 (screaming) 792 00:29:04,661 --> 00:29:06,204 (yells, gasps) 793 00:29:06,246 --> 00:29:07,747 (sighs) 794 00:29:07,789 --> 00:29:10,750 -Oh, man. That was crazy. -(snoring) 795 00:29:10,792 --> 00:29:12,627 (both yelling) 796 00:29:12,669 --> 00:29:14,170 -We overslept! We overslept? -(gasping) 797 00:29:14,212 --> 00:29:15,880 -We overslept. -Wake up, little halflings! 798 00:29:15,922 --> 00:29:18,049 -Wake up! What year is it? -(alarm ringing) 799 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:20,844 Oh, no. 800 00:29:20,885 --> 00:29:22,595 This is bad. No. 801 00:29:22,637 --> 00:29:24,264 No! No. 802 00:29:24,305 --> 00:29:25,598 (yells) Get up. 803 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:26,933 Get up. We got to go. 804 00:29:26,975 --> 00:29:28,810 Come on. We're gonna be late for... Oh! 805 00:29:28,852 --> 00:29:30,103 I'm gonna email it to you. 806 00:29:30,145 --> 00:29:31,604 (grunts) What's going on? 807 00:29:31,646 --> 00:29:33,898 Ah, I forgot to set Wizzie for daylight savings! 808 00:29:33,940 --> 00:29:36,943 -What?! -Daylight can't be saved, Tim. 809 00:29:36,985 --> 00:29:39,237 Oh, I got to get the plant and the bug we got to plant. 810 00:29:39,279 --> 00:29:41,114 -Grab whatever. We got to go. -Don't panic. Do not panic. 811 00:29:41,156 --> 00:29:42,657 -Ow. (groans) -Godspeed, boys. 812 00:29:42,699 --> 00:29:43,783 Let's roll. 813 00:29:43,825 --> 00:29:46,286 Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa...! 814 00:29:46,327 --> 00:29:48,413 (grunting) 815 00:29:49,748 --> 00:29:51,082 -(Tim screams) -Upsies. 816 00:29:51,124 --> 00:29:53,543 -I need upsies...! -Oh! 817 00:29:53,585 --> 00:29:54,961 -(Ted yells) -TIM: Get dressed. 818 00:29:55,003 --> 00:29:57,714 (both grunting and groaning) 819 00:29:57,756 --> 00:29:59,341 What have you done to me?! 820 00:29:59,382 --> 00:30:01,301 No, really? What, are we going sailing? 821 00:30:01,343 --> 00:30:03,470 Oh, no. No, no, it's leaving. 822 00:30:03,511 --> 00:30:04,804 (both yell) 823 00:30:04,846 --> 00:30:06,723 (grunts, whimpers) 824 00:30:06,765 --> 00:30:08,141 Wait, no, no. Stop! 825 00:30:08,183 --> 00:30:10,310 Stop, stop, stop. Come back! 826 00:30:10,352 --> 00:30:11,478 Ahoy! 827 00:30:11,519 --> 00:30:12,812 Come back! 828 00:30:12,854 --> 00:30:14,564 (panting) 829 00:30:14,606 --> 00:30:16,024 Great, matey. 830 00:30:16,066 --> 00:30:17,609 What are we gonna do now? 831 00:30:18,777 --> 00:30:21,237 (whistling) 832 00:30:26,534 --> 00:30:28,578 (neighing) 833 00:30:33,541 --> 00:30:35,919 (slow-motion): Oh, no! 834 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:37,921 (continues whistling) 835 00:30:38,713 --> 00:30:39,673 (whinnies) 836 00:30:39,714 --> 00:30:42,342 Precious, my noble steed. 837 00:30:42,384 --> 00:30:45,512 We must not be late for our first day of school. 838 00:30:47,806 --> 00:30:49,641 Oh, gross. 839 00:30:49,683 --> 00:30:51,351 -Huh? -(Tim screaming) 840 00:30:51,393 --> 00:30:53,687 Tallyho, Precious! 841 00:30:53,728 --> 00:30:56,022 (Tim continues screaming) 842 00:30:58,233 --> 00:30:59,818 This pony hates me. Oh! 843 00:30:59,859 --> 00:31:01,277 It's not that she hates you, Tim. 844 00:31:01,319 --> 00:31:02,862 She just doesn't respect you. 845 00:31:02,904 --> 00:31:05,323 (Tim screams, whimpers) 846 00:31:05,365 --> 00:31:07,367 (horns honking) 847 00:31:07,409 --> 00:31:08,743 Go left! Go left! 848 00:31:08,785 --> 00:31:10,704 I'm gonna go where navigation says. 849 00:31:10,745 --> 00:31:11,913 AUTOMATED VOICE: Turn left. 850 00:31:11,955 --> 00:31:13,289 Thank you, navigation. 851 00:31:13,331 --> 00:31:14,916 -TIM: Whoa! -AUTOMATED VOICE: Turn right. 852 00:31:14,958 --> 00:31:16,584 -(people screaming) -TIM: Sorry. 853 00:31:16,626 --> 00:31:19,004 AUTOMATED VOICE: Turn left. Proceed on the current route. 854 00:31:20,422 --> 00:31:22,090 TED: Yeehaw! 855 00:31:22,132 --> 00:31:23,800 AUTOMATED VOICE: Recalculating. 856 00:31:23,842 --> 00:31:25,635 Hold on to your holster. 857 00:31:25,677 --> 00:31:26,928 -Hyah! -(yells) 858 00:31:26,970 --> 00:31:28,763 (cell phone buzzing) 859 00:31:28,805 --> 00:31:30,765 (grunts) Oh, no. It's Carol! 860 00:31:30,807 --> 00:31:31,891 Don't answer it. 861 00:31:31,933 --> 00:31:33,059 -Hi. -CAROL: Oh, Tim. 862 00:31:33,101 --> 00:31:34,310 How's your bonding trip? 863 00:31:34,352 --> 00:31:36,062 Uh... Whoa! 864 00:31:36,104 --> 00:31:37,397 Whoa. Slow down. 865 00:31:37,439 --> 00:31:40,191 How... is... your... 866 00:31:40,233 --> 00:31:42,110 -bonding trip? -Aah! Whoa. 867 00:31:42,902 --> 00:31:44,738 (screams) You're here! 868 00:31:44,779 --> 00:31:46,698 -Oh, no. -TIM: I mean, um, 869 00:31:46,740 --> 00:31:48,074 I wish you were here. 870 00:31:48,116 --> 00:31:49,325 Oh, we miss you, too. 871 00:31:49,367 --> 00:31:50,410 Don't we, girls? 872 00:31:50,452 --> 00:31:51,870 We're, uh... 873 00:31:51,911 --> 00:31:53,413 We're, uh, rebooting our relationship 874 00:31:53,455 --> 00:31:55,498 and, uh, restoring the closeness that we once felt. 875 00:31:55,540 --> 00:31:57,917 -That's so great. -We've got to go. (chuckles) 876 00:31:57,959 --> 00:31:59,127 CAROL: Where are you? 877 00:31:59,169 --> 00:32:00,587 -Uh, a hockey game. -Hey! 878 00:32:00,628 --> 00:32:02,172 He shoots, he scores! 879 00:32:02,213 --> 00:32:03,465 He scores! He scores! 880 00:32:03,506 --> 00:32:05,091 Ladies and gentlemen, he scores! 881 00:32:05,133 --> 00:32:06,676 -* Busted... * -* Busted... * 882 00:32:06,718 --> 00:32:07,844 -* Busted. * -(sirens wail) 883 00:32:07,886 --> 00:32:09,679 Is that the police? 884 00:32:10,764 --> 00:32:12,098 Uh, no, not the police. 885 00:32:12,140 --> 00:32:13,933 It's, uh... it's a hockey alarm. 886 00:32:13,975 --> 00:32:15,143 Faster, Tim. 887 00:32:15,185 --> 00:32:16,895 I ain't going back to the clink! 888 00:32:16,936 --> 00:32:18,355 Now, I just wanted to remind you 889 00:32:18,396 --> 00:32:20,190 that Tabitha's pageant is tomorrow night. 890 00:32:20,231 --> 00:32:22,025 You have to be there. 891 00:32:22,067 --> 00:32:25,779 Uh, I will be there in one shape or another. 892 00:32:25,820 --> 00:32:26,946 (Ted grunts) 893 00:32:26,988 --> 00:32:29,115 -You promise? -I promise. 894 00:32:29,157 --> 00:32:30,533 And what about Ted? 895 00:32:30,575 --> 00:32:31,951 Happy holidays, coppers. 896 00:32:31,993 --> 00:32:34,913 You're never gonna take me alive, see? 897 00:32:34,954 --> 00:32:36,206 Uh, he's busy. 898 00:32:36,247 --> 00:32:37,957 What are you doing? It's the cops. 899 00:32:37,999 --> 00:32:39,459 -(Ted laughs) -Sorry, Officers. 900 00:32:39,501 --> 00:32:41,378 TED: Santa's got something for everybody. 901 00:32:41,419 --> 00:32:42,462 TIM: Sorry. 902 00:32:48,009 --> 00:32:49,135 AUTOMATED VOICE: Recalculating. 903 00:32:49,177 --> 00:32:50,637 (Tim screams, Ted laughs) 904 00:32:50,679 --> 00:32:52,305 Oh, my God! It's so real! 905 00:32:52,347 --> 00:32:54,307 It's so real! It's so real! 906 00:32:54,349 --> 00:32:55,934 (Tim screaming over phone) 907 00:32:55,975 --> 00:32:57,769 -Tim? -(Tabitha speaks Mandarin) 908 00:32:57,811 --> 00:32:58,937 (people screaming) 909 00:32:58,978 --> 00:32:59,896 AUTOMATED VOICE: Recalculating. 910 00:32:59,938 --> 00:33:01,064 TIM: Left! Left! Left! 911 00:33:01,106 --> 00:33:02,357 AUTOMATED VOICE: Recalculating. 912 00:33:02,399 --> 00:33:03,692 TIM: Right, right, right, right, right! 913 00:33:03,733 --> 00:33:05,110 AUTOMATED VOICE: Recalculating. 914 00:33:05,151 --> 00:33:06,986 And now the moment we've all waited for! 915 00:33:07,028 --> 00:33:09,364 (people screaming) 916 00:33:11,741 --> 00:33:13,034 AUTOMATED VOICE: Proceed on the current route. 917 00:33:13,076 --> 00:33:14,202 -(screams) -See, Tim? 918 00:33:14,244 --> 00:33:15,704 -(blowing) -Always trust... Holy... 919 00:33:15,745 --> 00:33:17,122 -(Tim screaming) -CAROL: Tim? 920 00:33:17,163 --> 00:33:18,415 TIM: Uh, Carol? 921 00:33:18,456 --> 00:33:20,125 You're breaking up. I'm losing you. 922 00:33:20,166 --> 00:33:21,584 No, honey, I can hear you fine. 923 00:33:21,626 --> 00:33:23,837 -See you at the pageant. Got to go. Bye. -Okay. 924 00:33:23,878 --> 00:33:24,963 (yells) 925 00:33:25,005 --> 00:33:27,757 -(screams) Whoa! -Sorry. 926 00:33:27,799 --> 00:33:29,175 (yells) 927 00:33:29,217 --> 00:33:30,260 (Jimbo whimpering) 928 00:33:30,301 --> 00:33:32,262 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 929 00:33:32,303 --> 00:33:34,681 -(screams) -It's too real! It's too real! 930 00:33:34,723 --> 00:33:37,183 -(clamoring) -(siren wailing) 931 00:33:37,225 --> 00:33:40,812 (screaming) 932 00:33:40,854 --> 00:33:43,898 TED: Tallyho, Precious! 933 00:33:43,940 --> 00:33:45,191 (gasps) 934 00:33:46,151 --> 00:33:48,653 No, no, no, tally... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 935 00:33:48,695 --> 00:33:50,071 (whimpers) 936 00:33:51,197 --> 00:33:53,700 -(grunts) -(tires screeching) 937 00:33:53,742 --> 00:33:54,868 -(grunts) Tina! -Tina! 938 00:33:54,909 --> 00:33:56,036 -(Tim screaming) -TED: Whoa! 939 00:33:56,077 --> 00:33:57,412 (laughs) 940 00:33:57,454 --> 00:33:59,539 -(screaming) -TED: Woo-hoo! 941 00:33:59,581 --> 00:34:01,791 Whoa! (laughs) 942 00:34:01,833 --> 00:34:03,877 (Tim panting) 943 00:34:03,918 --> 00:34:05,670 -JIMBO: Tree! -(siren whoops) 944 00:34:05,712 --> 00:34:07,672 AUTOMATED VOICE: You've arrived at your destination. 945 00:34:07,714 --> 00:34:10,091 -And with a minute to spare. -(distant explosion) 946 00:34:10,133 --> 00:34:12,844 Oh. Huh. 947 00:34:12,886 --> 00:34:14,012 I'll send them a check. 948 00:34:14,054 --> 00:34:15,138 (both chuckling) 949 00:34:15,180 --> 00:34:16,431 Oh, that was fun. 950 00:34:16,473 --> 00:34:17,891 You did it. 951 00:34:17,932 --> 00:34:19,225 We did it. 952 00:34:19,267 --> 00:34:20,977 I guess we did. 953 00:34:21,019 --> 00:34:22,812 I was talking about me and Precious. 954 00:34:22,854 --> 00:34:24,814 -Oh. -Isn't that right, baby? 955 00:34:24,856 --> 00:34:26,024 Yeah. Right. 956 00:34:26,066 --> 00:34:27,817 -Get down! -(yells) 957 00:34:33,782 --> 00:34:35,825 (kids chattering) 958 00:34:42,457 --> 00:34:45,043 Whoa. This place even looks evil. 959 00:34:45,085 --> 00:34:47,003 TED: It's just a school. 960 00:34:47,045 --> 00:34:48,755 You're overreacting. 961 00:34:48,797 --> 00:34:50,006 And so is BabyCorp. 962 00:34:50,048 --> 00:34:51,299 No, I'm telling you, 963 00:34:51,341 --> 00:34:53,218 this school is stressing Tabitha out. 964 00:34:53,259 --> 00:34:54,969 Tabitha can handle it. 965 00:34:55,011 --> 00:34:57,097 She's a real chip off the old block. 966 00:34:57,138 --> 00:34:59,099 -Wait, who's the block? -I'm the block. 967 00:34:59,140 --> 00:35:00,934 Well, you can't be the block. I'm the block. 968 00:35:00,975 --> 00:35:02,435 Then start acting like a block. 969 00:35:02,477 --> 00:35:04,270 Wh-What does that mean? I'm the block. 970 00:35:04,312 --> 00:35:06,147 -I've always been the block. -Yeah. Not even close. 971 00:35:06,189 --> 00:35:07,607 TIM: All I do is block. 972 00:35:07,649 --> 00:35:09,192 I wake up in the morning, I block. 973 00:35:09,234 --> 00:35:11,069 -(kids grunting) -I go to sleep, blocking. 974 00:35:11,111 --> 00:35:13,446 -I'm the block. -Tim, enough. 975 00:35:14,406 --> 00:35:16,032 -I'm the block. -No, you're not! Stop it! 976 00:35:16,074 --> 00:35:17,325 -Shh. -(whistle blows) 977 00:35:17,367 --> 00:35:18,702 (chuckles) Sweet. 978 00:35:18,743 --> 00:35:20,161 Suckers. 979 00:35:20,203 --> 00:35:22,122 -AUTOMATED VOICE: Children only beyond this point. -Hey. 980 00:35:22,163 --> 00:35:25,208 No crying is permitted in the separation zone. 981 00:35:25,250 --> 00:35:26,793 Okay, looks like we got to split up. 982 00:35:26,835 --> 00:35:28,253 Good. I could use a break. 983 00:35:28,294 --> 00:35:30,380 -TABITHA: Bye, Mom. -All right, bye, honey. 984 00:35:30,422 --> 00:35:31,965 (gasps, yells) There's Tabitha. 985 00:35:32,007 --> 00:35:34,342 -I'll see you after school. -Okay. 986 00:35:34,384 --> 00:35:36,428 (window squeaking) 987 00:35:37,220 --> 00:35:39,139 TED: Apparently, there's no "A" 988 00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:41,349 in "teamwork," either. 989 00:35:41,391 --> 00:35:42,851 All right, let's boogie. 990 00:35:42,892 --> 00:35:44,686 (grunts) Not so fast. 991 00:35:44,728 --> 00:35:47,230 I'm blue. You're yellow. 992 00:35:47,272 --> 00:35:49,858 (laughing): You're over there in the choo-choo. 993 00:35:49,899 --> 00:35:51,484 (raucous laughter) 994 00:35:51,526 --> 00:35:53,945 Aw. It's full of babies. 995 00:35:53,987 --> 00:35:55,363 Is it? I didn't notice. 996 00:35:55,405 --> 00:35:57,824 (laughing): Just kidding. It's hilarious. 997 00:35:57,866 --> 00:35:59,451 Uh, wait. Your tie's crooked. 998 00:35:59,492 --> 00:36:00,910 -(fingers snap) -Okay, Tim, focus. 999 00:36:00,952 --> 00:36:03,663 We'll meet outside Armstrong's office at 11:15. 1000 00:36:03,705 --> 00:36:05,665 We'll sneak in, and we'll plant the bugs. 1001 00:36:05,707 --> 00:36:06,833 Are you focused? 1002 00:36:06,875 --> 00:36:08,043 Hey, what the... 1003 00:36:08,084 --> 00:36:10,086 -Oh, I am focused, all right. -No, no. 1004 00:36:10,128 --> 00:36:11,421 I'm not yellow. I'm blue. 1005 00:36:11,463 --> 00:36:13,506 11:30. Stick to the plan. 1006 00:36:13,548 --> 00:36:14,549 11:15. 1007 00:36:14,591 --> 00:36:16,551 15. Got it. The block is focused. 1008 00:36:16,593 --> 00:36:19,387 -I'm blue! Aah! I'm blue. -(babies laughing) 1009 00:36:20,347 --> 00:36:22,349 Don't you understand? I'm blue! 1010 00:36:22,390 --> 00:36:24,351 ARMSTRONG (over speakers): Welcome, children. 1011 00:36:24,392 --> 00:36:25,727 Willkommen. 1012 00:36:25,769 --> 00:36:27,187 Bienvenue. 1013 00:36:27,228 --> 00:36:28,355 Annyeonghaseyo. 1014 00:36:28,396 --> 00:36:30,231 And buenos días. 1015 00:36:30,273 --> 00:36:34,194 Thank you for choosing to be excellent. 1016 00:36:34,235 --> 00:36:35,737 -Please don't touch me. -(babies laughing) 1017 00:36:35,779 --> 00:36:38,114 This is some ridiculous mistake. 1018 00:36:38,156 --> 00:36:39,616 I'm blue! I'm blue! 1019 00:36:39,657 --> 00:36:41,368 * The wheels on the bus go pi R-squared * 1020 00:36:41,409 --> 00:36:43,703 -* Circumference all around. * -Yes. 1021 00:36:46,915 --> 00:36:48,208 TIM: Hello. 1022 00:36:48,249 --> 00:36:50,001 Uh, hello. 1023 00:36:50,043 --> 00:36:51,711 Nice plant. 1024 00:36:51,753 --> 00:36:54,214 This is my emotional support plant. 1025 00:36:54,255 --> 00:36:56,049 Hi. I-I'm new here. 1026 00:36:56,091 --> 00:37:00,261 Said nihonium to the other elements in the periodic table. 1027 00:37:00,303 --> 00:37:02,180 -Ooh. -(laughter) 1028 00:37:02,222 --> 00:37:03,723 Okay. 1029 00:37:03,765 --> 00:37:05,392 Can't sit here. 1030 00:37:05,433 --> 00:37:07,227 Or here. Or there. 1031 00:37:07,268 --> 00:37:08,728 (yells) 1032 00:37:08,770 --> 00:37:12,524 Seating position is determined by class rank. 1033 00:37:12,565 --> 00:37:14,651 We can't possibly include your data, 1034 00:37:14,693 --> 00:37:17,070 given that the rigor of your previous school 1035 00:37:17,112 --> 00:37:18,988 is an unknown variable. 1036 00:37:19,030 --> 00:37:20,240 -STUDENTS: Ooh. -(laughs) 1037 00:37:20,281 --> 00:37:21,866 -Sick burn, Nathan. -(grunts) 1038 00:37:21,908 --> 00:37:23,118 -(groans) -Ow. 1039 00:37:23,159 --> 00:37:24,244 Here. 1040 00:37:24,285 --> 00:37:26,413 -You can take my seat. -(sighs) 1041 00:37:26,454 --> 00:37:28,873 I'm so proud of you. 1042 00:37:28,915 --> 00:37:30,875 I mean... thanks. 1043 00:37:30,917 --> 00:37:32,377 Okay... 1044 00:37:32,419 --> 00:37:33,920 (school bell rings) 1045 00:37:33,962 --> 00:37:35,255 ARMSTRONG: Good morning. 1046 00:37:35,296 --> 00:37:36,673 STUDENTS: Good morning, Dr. Armstrong! 1047 00:37:36,715 --> 00:37:39,050 (chuckles) Very warm welcome. Thank you. 1048 00:37:39,092 --> 00:37:40,385 Huh? 1049 00:37:40,427 --> 00:37:42,429 As you can see, we've got a new colleague 1050 00:37:42,470 --> 00:37:44,222 joining us today. 1051 00:37:44,264 --> 00:37:45,724 -Ooh. -Hello. 1052 00:37:45,765 --> 00:37:47,517 New colleague, why don't you introduce yourself. 1053 00:37:47,559 --> 00:37:50,603 Uh, my name's Ti... um, Marcos. 1054 00:37:50,645 --> 00:37:53,023 -Hmm. -Marcos Lightspeed. 1055 00:37:53,064 --> 00:37:55,608 Marcos Lightspeed. 1056 00:37:55,650 --> 00:37:58,194 Yeah. Colorful, characterful, and I like it. 1057 00:37:58,236 --> 00:37:59,821 -In any case... -(gasps) 1058 00:37:59,863 --> 00:38:02,449 -...welcome, Marcos, to Blue Unit. -(gasps) 1059 00:38:02,490 --> 00:38:04,242 Our most advanced class. 1060 00:38:04,284 --> 00:38:07,078 Ooh, this is rarefied air 1061 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:08,413 -we're breathing. -(groans) 1062 00:38:08,455 --> 00:38:10,331 Here at The Acorn Center, we believe 1063 00:38:10,373 --> 00:38:12,417 that all competition is... 1064 00:38:12,459 --> 00:38:14,961 STUDENTS: Healthy competition. 1065 00:38:15,003 --> 00:38:17,422 (babies yelling, laughing) 1066 00:38:17,464 --> 00:38:19,841 (noisemakers blaring) 1067 00:38:23,511 --> 00:38:26,890 I'm trapped in the dum-dum holding tank. 1068 00:38:26,931 --> 00:38:30,268 (gasps) I'm having a panic attack. 1069 00:38:30,310 --> 00:38:32,687 There must be a way out of here. 1070 00:38:35,690 --> 00:38:37,817 Something doesn't smell right. 1071 00:38:37,859 --> 00:38:39,944 (sniffs) Blueberry. 1072 00:38:39,986 --> 00:38:41,696 (laughing) 1073 00:38:41,738 --> 00:38:43,907 (whispers): I have to get out of here. 1074 00:38:43,948 --> 00:38:45,158 Hi. 1075 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:46,659 Don't look at me. 1076 00:38:46,701 --> 00:38:48,661 -Okay. -(baby laughing) 1077 00:38:48,703 --> 00:38:50,955 And our first subject today is... 1078 00:38:50,997 --> 00:38:53,083 No fractions, no fractions, no fractions. Whoa! 1079 00:38:54,084 --> 00:38:55,835 Particle physics. 1080 00:38:55,877 --> 00:38:57,003 Yes! What? 1081 00:38:57,045 --> 00:38:58,129 Yes! (laughs) 1082 00:38:58,171 --> 00:38:59,631 Who knows which scientist 1083 00:38:59,673 --> 00:39:01,883 first theorized that the universe has a limit 1084 00:39:01,925 --> 00:39:04,594 beyond which the laws of physics break down? 1085 00:39:04,636 --> 00:39:06,179 (students clamoring) 1086 00:39:06,221 --> 00:39:07,931 Wow. Everybody seems to know. 1087 00:39:07,972 --> 00:39:11,434 -(sighs, gasps) -Señor Lightspeed. 1088 00:39:11,476 --> 00:39:14,979 Um, Dr. Flam... baisley? 1089 00:39:15,021 --> 00:39:17,857 -(buzzer sounds) -Oh, that's the wrong answer. 1090 00:39:17,899 --> 00:39:20,694 His brain sure doesn't move at light speed. 1091 00:39:20,735 --> 00:39:21,861 (laughter) 1092 00:39:21,903 --> 00:39:23,488 -ARMSTRONG: Uh, okay. -I know, right? 1093 00:39:23,530 --> 00:39:25,365 -Anybody else? -Right here. 1094 00:39:25,407 --> 00:39:26,783 -Max Planck. -(bell dings) 1095 00:39:26,825 --> 00:39:28,284 ARMSTRONG: That's correct. 1096 00:39:28,326 --> 00:39:29,703 Tabitha has set the bar. 1097 00:39:29,744 --> 00:39:31,413 First one on the board. Ding, ding, ding. 1098 00:39:31,454 --> 00:39:33,540 Way to go, Tabitha. 1099 00:39:33,581 --> 00:39:36,042 You're going down, Templeton. 1100 00:39:36,084 --> 00:39:37,502 Bring it on, Nathan. 1101 00:39:37,544 --> 00:39:38,712 Yeah, Tabitha. Get him. 1102 00:39:38,753 --> 00:39:41,256 ARMSTRONG: Next subject. 1103 00:39:41,297 --> 00:39:42,882 Ancient Greek. 1104 00:39:42,924 --> 00:39:45,719 -STUDENTS: Opa! -Oprah! (chuckles) 1105 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,887 -(laughter, babbling) -Attention. 1106 00:39:47,929 --> 00:39:49,764 Attention, everyone. 1107 00:39:49,806 --> 00:39:52,475 Who wants to play Shawshank? 1108 00:39:52,517 --> 00:39:53,977 -No! -BABIES: Huh? 1109 00:39:54,811 --> 00:39:57,981 Who wants to go outside and play? 1110 00:39:58,023 --> 00:40:01,109 -(cheering) -Does that sound fun? Good. 1111 00:40:01,151 --> 00:40:03,069 Now, anybody have any ideas? 1112 00:40:03,111 --> 00:40:04,404 -BABY: No! -Come on, people. 1113 00:40:04,446 --> 00:40:05,530 Think, think, think, think, think. 1114 00:40:05,572 --> 00:40:06,781 We need to think outside the box. 1115 00:40:06,823 --> 00:40:08,241 -Oh, oh, oh! Me, me! Oh! -You, Bo-Peep. 1116 00:40:08,283 --> 00:40:11,327 We can build a hot-air balloon 1117 00:40:11,369 --> 00:40:13,288 out of Popsicle sticks and bubble gum! 1118 00:40:13,329 --> 00:40:14,622 (laughing) 1119 00:40:14,664 --> 00:40:16,332 And how would it fly? 1120 00:40:16,374 --> 00:40:18,251 -Pixie dust! -(laughing, cheering) 1121 00:40:18,293 --> 00:40:19,794 Get back in the box, Bo-Peep. 1122 00:40:19,836 --> 00:40:22,088 -All the way in? -All the way in. 1123 00:40:22,130 --> 00:40:24,299 -Yay! -Ooh. Uh, can we get in the box, too? 1124 00:40:24,341 --> 00:40:26,343 -Can we? Can we? -BABY: Glue. 1125 00:40:26,384 --> 00:40:28,303 I like glue. 1126 00:40:28,345 --> 00:40:29,512 Who doesn't? 1127 00:40:29,554 --> 00:40:30,972 But we're trying to brainstorm here. 1128 00:40:31,014 --> 00:40:32,265 Glue's good. 1129 00:40:32,307 --> 00:40:33,975 (laughing wildly) 1130 00:40:34,017 --> 00:40:36,770 -Think, think, think, think, think, think... -(groans) 1131 00:40:36,811 --> 00:40:39,939 ...think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think! 1132 00:40:39,981 --> 00:40:41,441 Bingo. 1133 00:40:41,483 --> 00:40:42,776 Next subject. 1134 00:40:42,817 --> 00:40:45,445 X is equal to the derivative of... 1135 00:40:45,487 --> 00:40:46,738 -NATHAN: Ooh, me! -Itself. 1136 00:40:46,780 --> 00:40:48,406 ARMSTRONG: Kudos for Tabitha. 1137 00:40:48,448 --> 00:40:49,908 Wow. You knew that? 1138 00:40:49,949 --> 00:40:53,244 The world's leading producer of bauxite is... 1139 00:40:53,286 --> 00:40:54,746 -NATHAN: Oh! -Australia. 1140 00:40:54,788 --> 00:40:56,122 ARMSTRONG: Once again, Tabitha's on the board. 1141 00:40:56,164 --> 00:40:58,375 -Very good. -Yes, Tabitha! -(applause) 1142 00:40:58,416 --> 00:41:00,001 We got 15 minutes, people. 1143 00:41:00,043 --> 00:41:02,170 The difference in "try" and "triumph" 1144 00:41:02,212 --> 00:41:03,963 is just a little oomph. 1145 00:41:04,005 --> 00:41:07,092 -BABIES: Oomph! -Go big or go home. 1146 00:41:07,133 --> 00:41:08,718 Okay. Going home. 1147 00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:10,512 -Let's pick up the pace. -No! 1148 00:41:10,553 --> 00:41:13,556 Hand downs, Norma Rae. This is my time. 1149 00:41:13,598 --> 00:41:15,725 To be, or not to be? Tabitha. 1150 00:41:15,767 --> 00:41:17,310 -To be. -That's correct. -(bell dings) 1151 00:41:17,352 --> 00:41:21,314 Can anyone tell me the horsepower of a 302 engine? 1152 00:41:21,356 --> 00:41:23,149 -Uh, seven? -(buzzer sounds) 1153 00:41:23,191 --> 00:41:24,901 -ARMSTRONG: Oh, boy. -Weak sauce, Nathan. 1154 00:41:24,943 --> 00:41:26,486 -That was weak. -(groans) 1155 00:41:26,528 --> 00:41:27,737 Tabitha, do you have an idea about that? 1156 00:41:27,779 --> 00:41:30,323 300 horsepower with a four-barrel carb. 1157 00:41:30,365 --> 00:41:31,616 -(bell dings) -TIM: Wow. -(groans) 1158 00:41:31,658 --> 00:41:33,493 -Her dad must be a genius. -(applause) 1159 00:41:33,535 --> 00:41:36,037 On my signal, unleash heck. 1160 00:41:36,830 --> 00:41:38,957 -Fire! -(babies grunt) 1161 00:41:39,958 --> 00:41:42,544 -(babies cheering) -Yes! 1162 00:41:43,795 --> 00:41:45,880 -I found a cure! -(cheering) 1163 00:41:45,922 --> 00:41:47,674 -(bell dings) -Yes! Yes! She did it! 1164 00:41:47,716 --> 00:41:48,883 She did it. 1165 00:41:48,925 --> 00:41:50,510 -(students gasp) -(buzzers sounding) 1166 00:41:50,552 --> 00:41:52,178 STUDENTS: Marcos! 1167 00:41:52,220 --> 00:41:54,472 I did it. I did it. 1168 00:41:54,514 --> 00:41:56,349 (babies cheering) 1169 00:41:56,391 --> 00:42:00,270 Remember, your size doesn't determine your strength. 1170 00:42:01,813 --> 00:42:04,190 Well, so far, it's Tabitha number one 1171 00:42:04,232 --> 00:42:05,692 and everybody else last. 1172 00:42:05,734 --> 00:42:08,361 -(cheering, applause) -(groans, sobs) 1173 00:42:15,243 --> 00:42:16,411 Psst. Hey, Tabitha. 1174 00:42:16,453 --> 00:42:17,662 You're really... 1175 00:42:17,704 --> 00:42:20,290 -A geek. I know. -No. 1176 00:42:20,331 --> 00:42:22,208 You're amazing. 1177 00:42:22,250 --> 00:42:24,544 Oh. Thanks, Marcos. 1178 00:42:24,586 --> 00:42:28,048 You'll be singing a different tune at rehearsal. 1179 00:42:28,089 --> 00:42:30,133 The wrong tune. 1180 00:42:30,175 --> 00:42:31,343 (both laughing) 1181 00:42:31,384 --> 00:42:32,635 You're so funny. 1182 00:42:32,677 --> 00:42:34,346 Hilarious! 1183 00:42:36,931 --> 00:42:39,392 And yeah, Templeton, don't be late. 1184 00:42:39,434 --> 00:42:41,102 -(laughs) -(gasps) Late. 1185 00:42:41,144 --> 00:42:43,229 -I'm late. -ARMSTRONG: Next subject. 1186 00:42:43,271 --> 00:42:44,439 Yes! 1187 00:42:44,481 --> 00:42:46,399 (straining): Just a little further. 1188 00:42:46,441 --> 00:42:49,527 (babies giggling, babbling) 1189 00:42:49,569 --> 00:42:50,737 Glue! 1190 00:42:50,779 --> 00:42:52,572 (yells, screams) 1191 00:42:52,614 --> 00:42:53,740 -TIM: Excuse me. -(engine revving) 1192 00:42:53,782 --> 00:42:55,033 Yes, Marcos. 1193 00:42:55,075 --> 00:42:57,869 Can I have a hall pass? I have to go. 1194 00:42:57,911 --> 00:43:00,413 ARMSTRONG: Voilà. Feel free. 1195 00:43:00,455 --> 00:43:02,082 (scoffs) Now what? 1196 00:43:02,123 --> 00:43:03,875 -(grunts) Now what? -(babies crying) 1197 00:43:03,917 --> 00:43:05,502 Glue! 1198 00:43:05,543 --> 00:43:07,379 Glue is bad! 1199 00:43:07,420 --> 00:43:09,089 (whimpering) 1200 00:43:09,130 --> 00:43:10,256 Glue. 1201 00:43:10,298 --> 00:43:12,717 (gasps) Glue is good. 1202 00:43:12,759 --> 00:43:16,096 How to get to the principal's office. 1203 00:43:16,137 --> 00:43:17,597 Of course. 1204 00:43:17,639 --> 00:43:20,517 You get sent to the principal's office. 1205 00:43:20,558 --> 00:43:22,686 ("It's Tricky" by Run-D.M.C. playing) 1206 00:43:22,727 --> 00:43:25,021 -Booyah! -(students gasp) 1207 00:43:25,063 --> 00:43:28,066 * I think it's very vital to rock a rhyme... * 1208 00:43:28,108 --> 00:43:30,110 * Here we go, it's tricky to rock a rhyme * 1209 00:43:30,151 --> 00:43:34,030 * To rock a rhyme that's right on time, it's tricky * 1210 00:43:34,072 --> 00:43:36,366 * It's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky * 1211 00:43:36,408 --> 00:43:38,076 * It's tricky to rock a rhyme * 1212 00:43:38,118 --> 00:43:40,620 * To rock a rhyme that's right on time, it's tricky... * 1213 00:43:40,662 --> 00:43:42,455 What's up, y'all? 1214 00:43:42,497 --> 00:43:44,541 School is... 1215 00:43:44,582 --> 00:43:46,084 -stupid. -(students gasp) 1216 00:43:46,126 --> 00:43:48,837 (staticky): Listen, you know, I acknowledge your anger. 1217 00:43:48,878 --> 00:43:51,631 It's, uh, very, uh, feisty, but please sit down. 1218 00:43:51,673 --> 00:43:54,342 -Okay. Uh, no. -(students gasp) 1219 00:43:54,384 --> 00:43:57,137 Sitting is... stupid! 1220 00:43:57,178 --> 00:43:59,639 -He's such a bad boy. -STUDENTS: Ooh. 1221 00:43:59,681 --> 00:44:01,891 (speaking indistinctly through static) 1222 00:44:01,933 --> 00:44:03,852 * It's tricky to rock a rhyme * 1223 00:44:03,893 --> 00:44:06,479 * To rock a rhyme that's right on time, it's tricky * 1224 00:44:06,521 --> 00:44:08,982 -* How is it, D? * -* It's tricky, tricky... * 1225 00:44:09,024 --> 00:44:12,235 All right. I'm afraid you can't disrupt class any longer. 1226 00:44:12,277 --> 00:44:16,031 Oh, no. Are we gonna have a talk in your office? 1227 00:44:16,072 --> 00:44:17,657 No. 1228 00:44:17,699 --> 00:44:19,826 -You are gonna have a time-out. -STUDENTS (gasping): The Box? 1229 00:44:19,868 --> 00:44:21,828 -He's going in the Box. -(murmuring) 1230 00:44:21,870 --> 00:44:24,330 No, the Box makes you crazy. 1231 00:44:24,372 --> 00:44:25,832 The Box? 1232 00:44:25,874 --> 00:44:29,502 * Sail away, sail away, sail away * 1233 00:44:29,544 --> 00:44:32,339 (groans) * Sail away, sail away * 1234 00:44:32,380 --> 00:44:33,798 -* Sail away... * -(grunts) 1235 00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:36,051 -ARMSTRONG: Sayonara, Marcos. -(gasps) 1236 00:44:36,092 --> 00:44:38,636 AUTOMATED VOICE: Your time-out begins now. 1237 00:44:38,678 --> 00:44:40,013 Relax. 1238 00:44:40,055 --> 00:44:42,182 -Wait! -(music stops) 1239 00:44:42,223 --> 00:44:44,559 (child crying) 1240 00:44:44,601 --> 00:44:46,269 ROBOT VOICE: Don't cry. 1241 00:44:46,311 --> 00:44:48,188 There, there. All better. 1242 00:44:48,229 --> 00:44:50,523 (Ted grunting) 1243 00:44:50,565 --> 00:44:51,691 (muffled grunting) 1244 00:44:51,733 --> 00:44:53,735 (yells, mumbles) 1245 00:44:53,777 --> 00:44:56,863 (grunting, spitting) 1246 00:44:57,697 --> 00:45:00,283 (sighs) It's like they always say: 1247 00:45:00,325 --> 00:45:02,160 If you want something done right, 1248 00:45:02,202 --> 00:45:04,871 you have to do it without your brother! 1249 00:45:05,747 --> 00:45:08,833 We meet again, doorknob. 1250 00:45:10,377 --> 00:45:12,212 (grunting) 1251 00:45:12,253 --> 00:45:13,880 (door creaking) 1252 00:45:14,673 --> 00:45:16,341 ARMSTRONG: Hello. 1253 00:45:16,383 --> 00:45:17,842 Welcome, welcome. 1254 00:45:17,884 --> 00:45:19,761 Please come in. Entrez vous? 1255 00:45:19,803 --> 00:45:21,221 You're here. 1256 00:45:21,262 --> 00:45:22,764 Oh, yes. I... 1257 00:45:22,806 --> 00:45:24,974 I was expecting you. 1258 00:45:25,809 --> 00:45:27,894 I... (grunts, yells) 1259 00:45:27,936 --> 00:45:28,895 (button beeps) 1260 00:45:28,937 --> 00:45:31,231 I expected that you 1261 00:45:31,272 --> 00:45:34,317 would be expecting me, so there. 1262 00:45:34,359 --> 00:45:37,862 Oh, and, uh, by the way, I know why you're here, 1263 00:45:37,904 --> 00:45:39,906 -so, uh... so there. -(button beeps) 1264 00:45:39,948 --> 00:45:42,742 (chuckles) You do? 1265 00:45:42,784 --> 00:45:45,036 -Mm-hmm. Yes, I do. -(button beeps) 1266 00:45:45,078 --> 00:45:46,746 -(whirring) -Have a seat, please. 1267 00:45:46,788 --> 00:45:48,164 (grunts) Thank you. 1268 00:45:48,206 --> 00:45:49,874 -You know what you are? -Mm? 1269 00:45:49,916 --> 00:45:54,254 You are, if I may, extremely intelligent. 1270 00:45:54,295 --> 00:45:55,755 Go on. (grunts) 1271 00:45:55,797 --> 00:45:57,382 Uh, as a matter of fact, I've been observing you. 1272 00:45:57,424 --> 00:45:58,550 (button beeps) 1273 00:45:58,591 --> 00:46:00,510 Spends time wisely. Check. 1274 00:46:00,552 --> 00:46:03,179 Makes good use of classroom materials. Check. 1275 00:46:03,221 --> 00:46:05,765 Keeps hands to self. Check. 1276 00:46:05,807 --> 00:46:07,308 Hey, forget "works well with others." 1277 00:46:07,350 --> 00:46:10,437 You make others work well for you. 1278 00:46:10,478 --> 00:46:13,857 That's literally the title of the book I'm working on. 1279 00:46:13,898 --> 00:46:16,109 No kidding. You had no business 1280 00:46:16,151 --> 00:46:18,236 being in Yellow Level, did you? 1281 00:46:18,278 --> 00:46:20,613 -It was sabotage. -Sabotage. Exactly. 1282 00:46:20,655 --> 00:46:23,199 Jealousy, fear. Hey, I faced the same obstacles. 1283 00:46:23,241 --> 00:46:26,828 In fact, you know, you remind me a lot of myself 1284 00:46:26,870 --> 00:46:29,289 when I was your age, 1285 00:46:29,330 --> 00:46:32,125 which is now. 1286 00:46:32,167 --> 00:46:33,585 (grunts) 1287 00:46:35,545 --> 00:46:36,629 What? 1288 00:46:36,671 --> 00:46:37,964 (laughs) 1289 00:46:38,006 --> 00:46:41,301 Surprise, surprise. 1290 00:46:41,343 --> 00:46:43,803 What the frittata? 1291 00:46:43,845 --> 00:46:44,929 Well put. 1292 00:46:44,971 --> 00:46:47,390 He's a ba... You're a baby. 1293 00:46:47,432 --> 00:46:49,976 I repeat, you're a baby. 1294 00:46:50,018 --> 00:46:52,479 So surprised, you said it twice. (chuckles) 1295 00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:53,980 (laughs) 1296 00:46:54,022 --> 00:46:57,484 Unfortunately, people are, uh, not ready for a... 1297 00:46:57,525 --> 00:46:59,736 a baby in a position of power. 1298 00:46:59,778 --> 00:47:01,279 Yet. 1299 00:47:01,321 --> 00:47:03,990 Remind me to get the number of your muttonchop guy. 1300 00:47:04,032 --> 00:47:06,826 You know, I could use somebody like you. 1301 00:47:06,868 --> 00:47:10,789 With a superior intelligence like my own. 1302 00:47:10,830 --> 00:47:13,500 -Uh... really? -Mmm. 1303 00:47:13,541 --> 00:47:14,918 Somebody who can, uh... 1304 00:47:14,959 --> 00:47:17,087 Mmm. (crunching) 1305 00:47:17,128 --> 00:47:18,505 -Mmm. Yeah. -(gasps) 1306 00:47:18,546 --> 00:47:21,257 Truly comprehend what I'm trying to accomplish. 1307 00:47:21,299 --> 00:47:24,010 -Well, you're looking at him. -Bingo. 1308 00:47:24,052 --> 00:47:26,221 Mmm. We have a secret level. 1309 00:47:26,262 --> 00:47:27,889 Mmm. For very special babies. 1310 00:47:27,931 --> 00:47:29,391 Mmm. The best of the best. 1311 00:47:29,432 --> 00:47:30,642 Ah. The elite. 1312 00:47:30,684 --> 00:47:31,685 Beyond blue? 1313 00:47:31,726 --> 00:47:33,728 Oh, yeah. Way beyond. 1314 00:47:33,770 --> 00:47:35,730 Way beyond. Ooh. 1315 00:47:35,772 --> 00:47:37,857 Mmm. There's a meeting today... 1316 00:47:37,899 --> 00:47:39,609 (slurps) ...after school. 1317 00:47:39,651 --> 00:47:41,152 Babies only. 1318 00:47:41,194 --> 00:47:44,030 We may be small, but we're about to teach grown-ups 1319 00:47:44,072 --> 00:47:46,408 a big lesson. 1320 00:47:47,784 --> 00:47:49,703 Mmm. Lolly? 1321 00:47:49,744 --> 00:47:51,037 -Okay. -(school bell ringing) 1322 00:47:51,079 --> 00:47:52,580 Oh. Time for recess. 1323 00:47:52,622 --> 00:47:54,082 -Bye-bye. -(button beeps) 1324 00:47:54,791 --> 00:47:56,835 (singsongy): Sayonara.... 1325 00:47:56,876 --> 00:47:58,420 (groans) 1326 00:47:59,462 --> 00:48:01,214 (grunts) 1327 00:48:01,256 --> 00:48:03,466 Well, I think that went well. 1328 00:48:04,592 --> 00:48:06,386 -TED (recorded): You're a baby. -TINA: What? 1329 00:48:06,428 --> 00:48:08,430 -I repeat, you're a baby. -(scoffs) 1330 00:48:08,471 --> 00:48:10,640 Is he talking to me? He better not be talking to me, 1331 00:48:10,682 --> 00:48:12,142 because I'll... Armstrong? 1332 00:48:12,183 --> 00:48:13,893 (chuckles) You're right, Connie. 1333 00:48:13,935 --> 00:48:15,437 He's talking about Armstrong. 1334 00:48:15,478 --> 00:48:17,230 -I don't know what has gotten into her. -(gasps) 1335 00:48:17,272 --> 00:48:20,900 -But she's acting strange, Dr. Federman. -(laughing) 1336 00:48:20,942 --> 00:48:23,153 Isn't it a bit early for terrible twos? 1337 00:48:23,194 --> 00:48:25,030 Is there terrible ones? Is that a thing? 1338 00:48:25,071 --> 00:48:26,573 Oh, piano-playing bunny, you slay me. 1339 00:48:26,614 --> 00:48:28,158 Okey dokey. 1340 00:48:28,199 --> 00:48:32,495 We need some eyes on the prize, visual confirmation here. 1341 00:48:32,537 --> 00:48:33,788 (snoring) 1342 00:48:33,830 --> 00:48:36,041 Oh, Daddy. 1343 00:48:36,082 --> 00:48:38,126 If I were there, I'd pinch you so hard. 1344 00:48:38,168 --> 00:48:40,003 (sleepily): * Sail away, sail away... * 1345 00:48:40,045 --> 00:48:41,838 AUTOMATED VOICE: Your time-out has concluded. 1346 00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:43,757 Sail away! What time is it? 1347 00:48:43,798 --> 00:48:45,467 AUTOMATED VOICE: It is time for recess. 1348 00:48:45,508 --> 00:48:47,510 I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. Come on. 1349 00:48:47,552 --> 00:48:49,512 (chuckling): He'll understand, right? 1350 00:48:49,554 --> 00:48:51,348 (gasps) Okay. Where is he? Where is he? 1351 00:48:51,389 --> 00:48:54,726 -Where is he? Uh... -(kids chattering, whooping) 1352 00:48:54,768 --> 00:48:56,686 -Oomph! Yeah, baby! -(cheering) 1353 00:48:56,728 --> 00:48:58,271 No, not my bows. 1354 00:48:58,313 --> 00:49:01,649 -But they're not your bows... anymore. -(sobbing) 1355 00:49:01,691 --> 00:49:04,652 Yep, where there's crying, there's my brother. 1356 00:49:06,279 --> 00:49:09,449 (playing "May" from The Shawshank Redemption) 1357 00:49:09,491 --> 00:49:11,659 BABY (whispers): Psst. Here you go. 1358 00:49:11,701 --> 00:49:13,244 BABY 2: Cool. 1359 00:49:13,995 --> 00:49:16,331 (grunting): Glue. Glue. Glue. 1360 00:49:19,250 --> 00:49:21,002 -Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, blue. -Whoa! 1361 00:49:21,044 --> 00:49:22,796 Where do you think youse going? You lost? 1362 00:49:22,837 --> 00:49:23,797 Could you let me through, please? 1363 00:49:23,838 --> 00:49:25,256 No! 1364 00:49:25,298 --> 00:49:27,967 So, what, did you flunk coloring class, kid? 1365 00:49:28,009 --> 00:49:29,594 -(laughter) -Really, guy? 1366 00:49:30,553 --> 00:49:32,305 Mmm, cherry. 1367 00:49:32,347 --> 00:49:33,306 Go on. 1368 00:49:33,348 --> 00:49:34,683 -Blues on the other side. -(groans) 1369 00:49:34,724 --> 00:49:36,017 TED: Let him through. 1370 00:49:36,059 --> 00:49:37,143 Okay, he's cool. 1371 00:49:37,185 --> 00:49:38,561 TIM: See? I'm cool. 1372 00:49:38,603 --> 00:49:39,813 I'm cool. 1373 00:49:39,854 --> 00:49:41,648 You failed me, Tim. 1374 00:49:41,690 --> 00:49:43,108 I was desperate. 1375 00:49:43,149 --> 00:49:45,819 I crawled. I did things with glue 1376 00:49:45,860 --> 00:49:48,238 that I'm not proud of, but I made it. 1377 00:49:48,279 --> 00:49:50,198 I made it all the way to Armstrong's office, 1378 00:49:50,240 --> 00:49:52,200 and then where's Tim? 1379 00:49:52,242 --> 00:49:53,410 -I know. I... -Where's Tim? 1380 00:49:53,451 --> 00:49:55,161 -I tried to... -Where's Tim?! 1381 00:49:55,203 --> 00:49:57,038 -I was in the Box, okay? -(babies gasping) 1382 00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:58,289 -TED: The Box? -The Box? 1383 00:49:58,331 --> 00:49:59,165 Glue. 1384 00:49:59,207 --> 00:50:00,709 Yeah, that's right. 1385 00:50:00,750 --> 00:50:01,960 (whispers): The Box. 1386 00:50:02,002 --> 00:50:03,336 Show a little respect. 1387 00:50:03,378 --> 00:50:06,256 See, Tim, this is why I work alone. 1388 00:50:06,297 --> 00:50:08,842 -(sighs) -I'll succeed in the mission. 1389 00:50:08,883 --> 00:50:10,385 You can take the pony home. 1390 00:50:10,427 --> 00:50:12,762 The only thing you're ever gonna succeed at 1391 00:50:12,804 --> 00:50:13,805 is being alone. 1392 00:50:13,847 --> 00:50:15,015 -Fine. -Fine! 1393 00:50:15,056 --> 00:50:16,516 Fine! 1394 00:50:16,558 --> 00:50:18,018 I like ponies. 1395 00:50:18,059 --> 00:50:20,395 Aah! Thank you for sharing. 1396 00:50:20,437 --> 00:50:22,731 (piano playing gentle tune) 1397 00:50:25,567 --> 00:50:27,402 -(Nathan groans in frustration) -(piano plays discordant notes) 1398 00:50:27,444 --> 00:50:29,029 NATHAN: You are blowing it, Templeton! 1399 00:50:29,070 --> 00:50:30,196 MEGHAN: Yeah, Templeton. 1400 00:50:30,238 --> 00:50:31,614 TABITHA: I'm trying. 1401 00:50:31,656 --> 00:50:34,284 NATHAN: Ugh! You always come in a beat late. 1402 00:50:34,325 --> 00:50:36,786 I'm sorry, Nathan. I'm doing my best. 1403 00:50:36,828 --> 00:50:40,707 Your best is going to keep me out of going to Juilliard. 1404 00:50:40,749 --> 00:50:42,667 -Yeah, Templeton. -It's one, two, three 1405 00:50:42,709 --> 00:50:45,086 -and one, two, three. -MEGHAN: One, two, three. 1406 00:50:45,128 --> 00:50:46,588 NATHAN and MEGHAN: And one, two, three 1407 00:50:46,629 --> 00:50:49,382 and one, two, three and one, two, three. 1408 00:50:49,424 --> 00:50:52,719 -And one, two... -Oh, come on! 1409 00:50:52,761 --> 00:50:54,054 Are you kidding me? 1410 00:50:54,095 --> 00:50:55,722 I just can't do it right now, okay? 1411 00:50:55,764 --> 00:50:57,182 I can't. I just can't. 1412 00:50:57,223 --> 00:50:59,351 -I'll do it tomorrow. -MEGHAN: Seriously? 1413 00:50:59,392 --> 00:51:01,227 -(school bell rings) -(kids cheering) 1414 00:51:01,269 --> 00:51:03,480 NATHAN: All right, all right, all right. 1415 00:51:03,521 --> 00:51:05,899 See you at the pageant tomorrow. 1416 00:51:05,940 --> 00:51:07,859 Beat it! 1417 00:51:12,489 --> 00:51:15,658 MEGHAN: Oh, Nathan, Nathan, let me do it. 1418 00:51:15,700 --> 00:51:17,035 Let me do it, Nathan. 1419 00:51:17,077 --> 00:51:18,578 I want to sing the song. 1420 00:51:18,620 --> 00:51:19,913 No. 1421 00:51:19,954 --> 00:51:21,873 I want to see her fail. 1422 00:51:21,915 --> 00:51:23,583 Oh. 1423 00:51:23,625 --> 00:51:25,210 Pure genius. 1424 00:51:25,251 --> 00:51:27,420 -(laughing) -(plays ominous chords) 1425 00:51:27,462 --> 00:51:29,089 NATHAN: I can't wait. 1426 00:51:29,130 --> 00:51:30,632 -We'll see about that. -(school bell ringing) 1427 00:51:30,674 --> 00:51:32,592 ARMSTRONG (over speaker): Goodbye, children. 1428 00:51:32,634 --> 00:51:33,760 Sayonara. 1429 00:51:33,802 --> 00:51:35,095 Auf Wiedersehen. 1430 00:51:35,136 --> 00:51:36,262 Adieu. 1431 00:51:36,304 --> 00:51:38,223 Adios, niños. 1432 00:51:38,264 --> 00:51:39,766 (students chattering) 1433 00:51:39,808 --> 00:51:41,267 -(sighs) -(horse neighs) 1434 00:51:41,309 --> 00:51:42,894 (Tim gasps) 1435 00:51:42,936 --> 00:51:44,270 Oh, come on. 1436 00:51:45,146 --> 00:51:46,356 (yells) 1437 00:51:47,482 --> 00:51:48,858 (yelps) 1438 00:51:48,900 --> 00:51:51,277 Oh, my gosh. 1439 00:51:51,319 --> 00:51:54,739 -Stop what you're doing. -(chatter stops) 1440 00:51:54,781 --> 00:51:56,116 I see a baby pony. 1441 00:51:56,157 --> 00:51:57,951 -(screaming) -(excited chatter) 1442 00:51:57,992 --> 00:51:59,494 I like ponies. 1443 00:51:59,536 --> 00:52:00,787 STUDENT: Oh, over there! 1444 00:52:00,829 --> 00:52:01,955 -Yes! -(laughter) 1445 00:52:01,996 --> 00:52:04,124 It's so cute! 1446 00:52:04,165 --> 00:52:05,917 (excited chatter) 1447 00:52:05,959 --> 00:52:08,336 (horn honks) 1448 00:52:12,215 --> 00:52:14,009 That's it? No hello? 1449 00:52:14,050 --> 00:52:16,052 -Not even a "Hi, Mom"? -What? 1450 00:52:16,094 --> 00:52:17,929 -Hi, Tabitha! -(gasps) 1451 00:52:17,971 --> 00:52:19,848 -Oh. Hi. -(Tina coughs) 1452 00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:22,225 What? You never told me you had 1453 00:52:22,267 --> 00:52:24,102 an older sister who could drive. 1454 00:52:24,144 --> 00:52:25,603 Uh, that's my mom. 1455 00:52:25,645 --> 00:52:27,355 Tabitha, don't interrupt. (chuckles) 1456 00:52:27,397 --> 00:52:29,441 -Yeah, I'm a new friend of Tabitha's... -Hey, stop. 1457 00:52:29,482 --> 00:52:31,484 -(mumbling) -Oh, really? 1458 00:52:31,526 --> 00:52:33,319 I-I mean, we just met. 1459 00:52:33,361 --> 00:52:34,362 Well, what's your name, new friend? 1460 00:52:34,404 --> 00:52:36,448 Stop. You're embarrassing me. 1461 00:52:36,489 --> 00:52:38,783 -Marcos. Marcos Lightspeed. -(horse neighs) 1462 00:52:38,825 --> 00:52:40,160 (babbles, grunts) 1463 00:52:40,201 --> 00:52:41,536 -Ow! -CAROL: Tina! 1464 00:52:41,578 --> 00:52:42,996 -What is with you? -(Tim chuckles) 1465 00:52:43,038 --> 00:52:44,456 Cute kid. 1466 00:52:44,497 --> 00:52:46,416 Well, I better get going if I'm gonna walk those 1467 00:52:46,458 --> 00:52:49,002 three and a half miles home... 1468 00:52:49,044 --> 00:52:50,378 in the snow... 1469 00:52:50,420 --> 00:52:52,005 without a jacket. 1470 00:52:52,047 --> 00:52:53,840 Three and a half miles? 1471 00:52:53,882 --> 00:52:56,676 Three and a half, six-- somewhere in there. (chuckles) 1472 00:52:56,718 --> 00:52:59,054 Yeah, well, that TV dinner is not gonna microwave itself. 1473 00:52:59,095 --> 00:53:00,472 TV dinner? 1474 00:53:00,513 --> 00:53:02,849 Yeah, I'm a latchkey kid, so I eat whatever I want. 1475 00:53:02,891 --> 00:53:04,893 -Cartoons are my babysitter. -(tires screech) 1476 00:53:04,934 --> 00:53:06,102 -No. -Oh, yeah. 1477 00:53:06,144 --> 00:53:08,104 (scoffs) 1478 00:53:08,146 --> 00:53:11,399 * Strangers in the night * 1479 00:53:11,441 --> 00:53:13,902 * Exchanging glances * 1480 00:53:13,943 --> 00:53:15,195 * Lovers... * 1481 00:53:15,236 --> 00:53:16,696 What is this? 1482 00:53:16,738 --> 00:53:19,032 Some kind of prank? 1483 00:53:19,074 --> 00:53:20,367 Children can be so cruel. 1484 00:53:20,408 --> 00:53:21,826 -Hello. -(electronic chime) 1485 00:53:21,868 --> 00:53:24,662 (screaming) 1486 00:53:24,704 --> 00:53:26,373 (grunts) 1487 00:53:28,833 --> 00:53:30,335 (retches) 1488 00:53:30,377 --> 00:53:32,629 -(grunts) -(babies yelling, laughing) 1489 00:53:33,838 --> 00:53:35,215 (grunts) 1490 00:53:35,256 --> 00:53:36,800 (retches) 1491 00:53:36,841 --> 00:53:40,929 Whoa. This is exactly like Bill Gates' rec room... 1492 00:53:40,970 --> 00:53:43,431 but a little smaller. 1493 00:53:44,182 --> 00:53:46,267 (grunting) 1494 00:53:47,227 --> 00:53:49,479 -(straining) -(scraping) 1495 00:53:52,315 --> 00:53:55,068 What is all this? 1496 00:53:55,110 --> 00:53:57,362 Research and development? 1497 00:53:58,697 --> 00:54:00,907 Product testing? 1498 00:54:02,534 --> 00:54:06,996 Huh. Something tells me this isn't day care. 1499 00:54:08,039 --> 00:54:10,917 Boy, could I use a spy camera right about now. 1500 00:54:10,959 --> 00:54:14,462 * Sail away, sail away, sail away. * 1501 00:54:15,255 --> 00:54:17,007 Anyway... 1502 00:54:18,675 --> 00:54:21,094 -(gasps) -(muffled babbling) 1503 00:54:21,136 --> 00:54:22,679 TED: Aw. 1504 00:54:22,721 --> 00:54:25,765 Now, aren't you a cutie in that little karate outfit. 1505 00:54:25,807 --> 00:54:27,100 (baby grunts) 1506 00:54:27,142 --> 00:54:28,351 Huh. 1507 00:54:28,393 --> 00:54:30,520 (all whooping, grunting) 1508 00:54:30,562 --> 00:54:33,273 Is this some kind of a ninja boy band? 1509 00:54:33,314 --> 00:54:34,482 (screams) 1510 00:54:34,524 --> 00:54:37,110 -Whoa...! -(babies whooping) 1511 00:54:37,152 --> 00:54:39,112 Whoa! 1512 00:54:39,154 --> 00:54:40,947 Oh. Whoa, whoa. 1513 00:54:40,989 --> 00:54:42,866 (all grunting, whooping) 1514 00:54:42,907 --> 00:54:45,118 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh! 1515 00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:46,119 (screams) 1516 00:54:46,161 --> 00:54:47,620 Whoa. (yells) 1517 00:54:47,662 --> 00:54:48,621 I give up. 1518 00:54:48,663 --> 00:54:52,375 Cobra Kai! Cobra Kai! 1519 00:54:52,417 --> 00:54:55,420 (all grunting rapidly) 1520 00:54:55,462 --> 00:54:57,297 TED: Sayonara, baby! 1521 00:54:57,339 --> 00:54:59,341 -Hey, there you are. -Oh, hello! (coughs) 1522 00:54:59,382 --> 00:55:00,675 Thank you. (sighs) 1523 00:55:00,717 --> 00:55:02,469 I see that you've angered my baby ninjas. 1524 00:55:02,510 --> 00:55:03,887 -Oh, boy. Oh, boy. -(baby laughs, grunts) 1525 00:55:03,928 --> 00:55:05,638 -Shoo. Shoo. (chuckles) -(sneezes, babbles) 1526 00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:07,849 What maniacal underground fortress doesn't have ninjas? 1527 00:55:07,891 --> 00:55:09,476 -Am I right? (grunts) -Impressive, huh? 1528 00:55:09,517 --> 00:55:10,810 Pretty impressive. 1529 00:55:10,852 --> 00:55:12,312 What do you think? What do you think? 1530 00:55:12,354 --> 00:55:13,438 TED: I know tuition is pretty steep, 1531 00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:15,565 but how do you afford all this? 1532 00:55:15,607 --> 00:55:17,525 ARMSTRONG: Oh, that's a good question. 1533 00:55:17,567 --> 00:55:20,111 -I taught babies to code. -No. 1534 00:55:20,153 --> 00:55:22,113 ARMSTRONG: Yes. And you know what they say about having 1535 00:55:22,155 --> 00:55:24,324 an infinite amount of monkeys banging on typewriters? 1536 00:55:24,366 --> 00:55:26,201 They will eventually write Shakespeare? 1537 00:55:26,242 --> 00:55:28,370 A-plus. Oh, boy, you are smart. 1538 00:55:28,411 --> 00:55:32,290 Or the most popular apps that money can buy. 1539 00:55:32,332 --> 00:55:34,376 Apps. They're writing apps. 1540 00:55:34,417 --> 00:55:36,002 -Cat Chat. -(cat meows) 1541 00:55:36,044 --> 00:55:37,337 Palm Doodle. 1542 00:55:37,379 --> 00:55:39,005 Ooh, Find My Nose. 1543 00:55:39,047 --> 00:55:40,423 -(Ted gasps) -Stock Crush. 1544 00:55:40,465 --> 00:55:42,008 -You did Stock Crush? -(cash register dings) 1545 00:55:42,050 --> 00:55:43,677 I love Stock Crush. 1546 00:55:43,718 --> 00:55:46,596 All us. But my next app... 1547 00:55:46,638 --> 00:55:49,349 ooh, it's gonna change the world. 1548 00:55:49,391 --> 00:55:50,433 Forever. 1549 00:55:50,475 --> 00:55:51,768 So why bother with a school? 1550 00:55:51,810 --> 00:55:54,312 You could go public and make millions. 1551 00:55:54,354 --> 00:55:56,064 Oh. (laughs) 1552 00:55:56,106 --> 00:55:58,441 -Billions. -Billions. 1553 00:55:58,483 --> 00:56:01,528 Yeah, but some things are more important than money. 1554 00:56:01,569 --> 00:56:03,196 Please don't say "love." 1555 00:56:03,238 --> 00:56:05,407 Mmm. Power. 1556 00:56:05,448 --> 00:56:07,617 That's more like it. 1557 00:56:08,576 --> 00:56:10,453 TIM: Wow. This is so amazing. 1558 00:56:10,495 --> 00:56:13,206 First, the ride, and now a-a full sit-down dinner. 1559 00:56:13,248 --> 00:56:14,916 Wow. What a palace. 1560 00:56:14,958 --> 00:56:17,335 -I mean, you have electricity? -Well, yeah. 1561 00:56:17,377 --> 00:56:19,504 Man, you guys are beyond generous. 1562 00:56:19,546 --> 00:56:21,548 You're welcome anytime. 1563 00:56:21,589 --> 00:56:23,174 -(groans) -CAROL: Tabitha, would you mind 1564 00:56:23,216 --> 00:56:24,843 -setting the table? -Okay, Mom. 1565 00:56:24,884 --> 00:56:27,095 Really? You're just gonna throw that right there, huh? 1566 00:56:27,137 --> 00:56:28,263 (gasps) 1567 00:56:28,304 --> 00:56:30,890 Psst. Psst. Daddy. 1568 00:56:30,932 --> 00:56:32,767 -Shh! It's Marcos. -What are you doing here? 1569 00:56:32,809 --> 00:56:34,352 -Where's Uncle Ted? -What? 1570 00:56:34,394 --> 00:56:35,395 He kicked me off the mission. 1571 00:56:35,437 --> 00:56:36,354 He can't do that. 1572 00:56:36,396 --> 00:56:37,397 Only I can do that. 1573 00:56:37,439 --> 00:56:38,606 You're back on the mission. 1574 00:56:38,648 --> 00:56:40,066 No need. I have my own mission now. 1575 00:56:40,108 --> 00:56:42,360 What? What could be more important than my mission? 1576 00:56:42,402 --> 00:56:44,571 Got to go. Lightspeed out. 1577 00:56:45,780 --> 00:56:47,240 This is so great. (chuckles) 1578 00:56:47,282 --> 00:56:48,825 Well, I hope you're hungry. 1579 00:56:48,867 --> 00:56:50,535 Been so long since I've used silverware. (chuckles) 1580 00:56:50,577 --> 00:56:53,038 So, how'd you like your first day? 1581 00:56:53,079 --> 00:56:54,414 Kind of intense. 1582 00:56:54,456 --> 00:56:56,416 (chuckles): Yeah. You'll get used to it. 1583 00:56:56,458 --> 00:56:57,959 -Even that Nathan kid? -Nathan. 1584 00:56:58,001 --> 00:57:00,211 -Ugh. He's a mess. -(chuckles): Yeah. 1585 00:57:00,253 --> 00:57:02,422 -He is such a square. -A square? 1586 00:57:02,464 --> 00:57:04,424 Uh, yeah, you know, like a dork. 1587 00:57:04,466 --> 00:57:06,343 Dweeb. Nerdlet. A real poindexter. 1588 00:57:06,384 --> 00:57:07,886 Lame-o. Dorkus to the max. 1589 00:57:07,927 --> 00:57:09,721 (chuckles) They used to call me. 1590 00:57:09,763 --> 00:57:12,223 -(chuckles) You're weird. -I am? 1591 00:57:12,265 --> 00:57:14,267 Yeah, but in a good way. 1592 00:57:14,309 --> 00:57:15,769 (both chuckle) 1593 00:57:15,810 --> 00:57:18,355 So, why is the pageant stressing you out so much? 1594 00:57:18,396 --> 00:57:20,482 (groans) I have to sing. 1595 00:57:20,523 --> 00:57:22,692 -So what? -I don't know. 1596 00:57:22,734 --> 00:57:25,070 My whole family is going to be there, 1597 00:57:25,111 --> 00:57:27,238 including my dad. 1598 00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:28,782 Oh. 1599 00:57:28,823 --> 00:57:30,200 Right. 1600 00:57:30,241 --> 00:57:32,285 You're embarrassed of him? 1601 00:57:32,327 --> 00:57:34,371 No. No, it's not that. 1602 00:57:34,412 --> 00:57:35,914 (Tim sighs heavily) 1603 00:57:35,955 --> 00:57:37,707 It's just, he's really good at this kind of thing-- 1604 00:57:37,749 --> 00:57:41,503 being creative and using your imagination-- 1605 00:57:41,544 --> 00:57:43,546 but it's hard for me. 1606 00:57:43,588 --> 00:57:45,799 I just want him to be proud of me. 1607 00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:47,133 You know? 1608 00:57:47,175 --> 00:57:49,135 (coos) 1609 00:57:49,177 --> 00:57:50,136 Really? 1610 00:57:50,178 --> 00:57:52,847 Well, yeah. 1611 00:57:53,807 --> 00:57:55,975 Um, who are these extra plates for? 1612 00:57:56,017 --> 00:57:57,811 -(doorbell rings) -(whispers): Mom and Dad. 1613 00:57:57,852 --> 00:57:59,729 Hey, hey! The key still works! 1614 00:57:59,771 --> 00:58:01,272 You guys should really change the locks. 1615 00:58:01,314 --> 00:58:02,857 -Oh, you made it. -Look who's here! 1616 00:58:02,899 --> 00:58:03,650 Mom and Dad. 1617 00:58:03,692 --> 00:58:04,818 TABITHA: Grandma! Grandpa! 1618 00:58:04,859 --> 00:58:06,611 -TED SR.: There she is. -(gasps) 1619 00:58:06,653 --> 00:58:08,113 -Come here, my little tabby cat. -Yay! You're here! 1620 00:58:08,154 --> 00:58:10,198 -Look at how big you are. -You're almost a teenager. 1621 00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:11,616 Can you vote yet? 1622 00:58:11,658 --> 00:58:12,867 TABITHA: Ten and a half more years, Grandma. 1623 00:58:12,909 --> 00:58:14,119 Daddy, they're gonna recognize you. 1624 00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:15,286 No, no. It's fine. 1625 00:58:15,328 --> 00:58:17,205 I've got the glasses. See? 1626 00:58:17,247 --> 00:58:18,665 -TED SR. and TABITHA: Selfie! -How do you do it again? 1627 00:58:18,707 --> 00:58:19,958 Bring out the baby. 1628 00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:21,543 -Hide! -Where are you hiding that baby? 1629 00:58:21,584 --> 00:58:22,961 No. Just be cool. Be cool. 1630 00:58:23,003 --> 00:58:24,504 -JANICE: There she is. -TED SR.: Hello. 1631 00:58:24,546 --> 00:58:25,755 TED SR.: Hey, who's the new guy? 1632 00:58:25,797 --> 00:58:27,674 -That's Marcos. -I gotcha. 1633 00:58:27,716 --> 00:58:30,927 (babies clamoring) 1634 00:58:30,969 --> 00:58:33,263 Attention, babies. Bienvenue. 1635 00:58:33,304 --> 00:58:35,015 Willkommen. 1636 00:58:35,056 --> 00:58:36,391 Dobro pozhalovat'. 1637 00:58:36,433 --> 00:58:39,144 -And namaste. -(clamoring continues) 1638 00:58:39,185 --> 00:58:41,104 Uh, babies. 1639 00:58:41,146 --> 00:58:42,439 Hey, hey. 1640 00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:43,898 -No more screen time. -(clamoring stops) 1641 00:58:43,940 --> 00:58:46,276 -(whimpering) -ARMSTRONG: Listen. 1642 00:58:46,317 --> 00:58:49,571 Believe it or not, I used to be just like you. 1643 00:58:49,612 --> 00:58:52,198 -(cooing) -Yes. I even had parents. 1644 00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:55,618 Mine were child psychologists 1645 00:58:55,660 --> 00:58:58,121 who made me part of an experiment. 1646 00:58:58,163 --> 00:58:59,372 Really? 1647 00:58:59,414 --> 00:59:02,042 They exposed me to 10,000 hours 1648 00:59:02,083 --> 00:59:05,628 -of Mozart, language lessons and public radio. -Huh. Wow. 1649 00:59:05,670 --> 00:59:07,422 I hate public radio. 1650 00:59:07,464 --> 00:59:10,967 It was at that point I realized I was smarter than my parents. 1651 00:59:11,009 --> 00:59:14,971 And with my first step, I ran away from home. 1652 00:59:15,013 --> 00:59:17,223 -(babies moan sadly) -Why? 1653 00:59:17,265 --> 00:59:19,059 They pushed me around. 1654 00:59:19,100 --> 00:59:21,227 I got told what to do all the time. 1655 00:59:21,269 --> 00:59:22,395 (crying) 1656 00:59:22,437 --> 00:59:25,440 But a single word changed my life. 1657 00:59:25,482 --> 00:59:27,067 "No." Say it. 1658 00:59:27,108 --> 00:59:28,401 ALL: No! 1659 00:59:28,443 --> 00:59:30,403 -Take a nap. -Nyet! 1660 00:59:30,445 --> 00:59:32,322 -Put on your coat. -Nein! 1661 00:59:32,364 --> 00:59:34,699 -Eat your vegetables. -Nahii! 1662 00:59:34,741 --> 00:59:36,993 Are you gonna let grown-ups push you around? 1663 00:59:37,035 --> 00:59:39,371 No, no! No, no, no! No, no! No, no, no! 1664 00:59:39,412 --> 00:59:40,747 -Are you? -Good God, no. 1665 00:59:40,789 --> 00:59:42,082 That's right. 1666 00:59:42,123 --> 00:59:45,085 Why do parents get to be in charge, anyway? 1667 00:59:45,126 --> 00:59:47,504 They had their chance, and what did we get? 1668 00:59:47,545 --> 00:59:51,675 Pollution, politics, wars. 1669 00:59:51,716 --> 00:59:54,052 BABIES: Ooh. 1670 00:59:54,094 --> 00:59:56,096 Not "ooh." "Boo." 1671 00:59:56,137 --> 00:59:57,722 ALL: Boo! 1672 00:59:57,764 --> 01:00:01,101 The only thing holding us back is them, 1673 01:00:01,142 --> 01:00:02,769 but not anymore. 1674 01:00:02,811 --> 01:00:06,690 The moment that we've worked so hard for is almost here. 1675 01:00:06,731 --> 01:00:07,857 -B-Day. -(babies cheering) 1676 01:00:07,899 --> 01:00:09,109 -B-Day? -B-Day. 1677 01:00:09,150 --> 01:00:11,236 -I'm this many. -I'm this many. 1678 01:00:11,277 --> 01:00:13,613 No, no, it's not... it's not your birthday. 1679 01:00:13,655 --> 01:00:16,491 It's the beginning of the baby revolution. 1680 01:00:16,533 --> 01:00:18,326 -Yay, yay. -(babies cheering) 1681 01:00:18,368 --> 01:00:20,995 And there'll be cake. Cake for everybody. 1682 01:00:21,037 --> 01:00:23,790 BABIES (chanting): Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! 1683 01:00:23,832 --> 01:00:25,417 -No more rules. -(chanting continues) 1684 01:00:25,458 --> 01:00:27,293 Oh là là! 1685 01:00:27,335 --> 01:00:29,045 No more parents. 1686 01:00:29,087 --> 01:00:30,296 Uh-oh. 1687 01:00:30,338 --> 01:00:31,464 Pew, pew, pew, pew! 1688 01:00:31,506 --> 01:00:33,967 Sayonara, Mama and Papa! 1689 01:00:34,009 --> 01:00:36,011 -Oh, this is bad. -(chuckles) 1690 01:00:36,052 --> 01:00:37,929 All right, pep rally's over. 1691 01:00:37,971 --> 01:00:40,348 Your-your parents are gonna pick you up. 1692 01:00:40,390 --> 01:00:41,433 (crying) 1693 01:00:41,474 --> 01:00:42,976 This is my life's work. 1694 01:00:43,018 --> 01:00:45,937 Oh, yes, 17 long months. 1695 01:00:45,979 --> 01:00:48,565 To... no more parents. (laughs) 1696 01:00:48,606 --> 01:00:50,233 Mmm. (gargles, slurps) 1697 01:00:50,275 --> 01:00:52,694 Cheers to the revolution. 1698 01:00:53,653 --> 01:00:55,363 -No. Nope. Nope. -(Tabitha chuckles) 1699 01:00:55,405 --> 01:00:57,240 -No. Oh, that's a keeper. -TABITHA: Oh, Tina. 1700 01:00:57,282 --> 01:00:59,367 Oh, it's so cute. What's the app called? 1701 01:00:59,409 --> 01:01:00,827 -It's called QT Snap. -Oh. 1702 01:01:00,869 --> 01:01:02,787 -Show me how to download that. -Everyone has it. 1703 01:01:02,829 --> 01:01:04,831 So, Marcos... Lightspeed? 1704 01:01:04,873 --> 01:01:06,458 -Is that what you said? -Mm-hmm. 1705 01:01:06,499 --> 01:01:08,293 Sounds like a cartoon name. 1706 01:01:08,335 --> 01:01:09,502 (laughing) 1707 01:01:09,544 --> 01:01:11,338 -It really does. -(laughs awkwardly) 1708 01:01:11,379 --> 01:01:14,299 Well, my parents, they're a little wacky, so... 1709 01:01:14,341 --> 01:01:15,925 (slurping) 1710 01:01:15,967 --> 01:01:18,678 Huh. It's like I know you from somewhere. 1711 01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:20,055 I don't think so. 1712 01:01:20,096 --> 01:01:21,723 -That is a keeper, too. -Hey. Hey. 1713 01:01:21,765 --> 01:01:23,767 -Doesn't he look familiar? -I don't think I do. 1714 01:01:23,808 --> 01:01:25,226 Yeah, he looks just like Tim. 1715 01:01:25,268 --> 01:01:26,853 Yeah. You look like Tim. 1716 01:01:26,895 --> 01:01:29,064 -(coughs) -Hmm? -Huh? 1717 01:01:29,105 --> 01:01:30,607 Except Tim didn't wear glasses. 1718 01:01:30,648 --> 01:01:32,776 Oh, that's right. (scoffs) 1719 01:01:32,817 --> 01:01:35,278 Huh. Well, how about that. 1720 01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:37,864 -(Tina sighs) -Hey, where is Tim, anyway? 1721 01:01:37,906 --> 01:01:39,699 Tim and Ted are on a trip. 1722 01:01:39,741 --> 01:01:41,910 -TED SR. and JANICE: Together? -They're bonding. 1723 01:01:41,951 --> 01:01:43,995 -Well, that's about time. -Yeah. 1724 01:01:44,037 --> 01:01:46,206 I just hope Tim's back in time for the pageant. 1725 01:01:46,247 --> 01:01:47,707 -(Janice scoffs) -(Ted Sr. chuckles) 1726 01:01:47,749 --> 01:01:50,669 Uh, why... why wouldn't he be there? 1727 01:01:50,710 --> 01:01:52,712 -(laughs) Tim Time. -Tim Time. 1728 01:01:52,754 --> 01:01:53,755 -JANICE: Oh. (chuckles) -(Carol laughs) 1729 01:01:53,797 --> 01:01:54,881 What's-what's Tim Time? 1730 01:01:54,923 --> 01:01:56,383 -Go ahead. -Okay. 1731 01:01:56,424 --> 01:02:00,345 Well, Marcos, Tim Time is like a black hole 1732 01:02:00,387 --> 01:02:04,808 where things like reality and being on time get lost. 1733 01:02:04,849 --> 01:02:06,267 -(Tabitha laughs) -Oh. 1734 01:02:06,309 --> 01:02:09,062 Tabitha's father has a very active imagination. 1735 01:02:09,104 --> 01:02:10,814 Which is a good thing. 1736 01:02:10,855 --> 01:02:12,524 Yeah, that's a... I'd say that's a good thing. 1737 01:02:12,565 --> 01:02:15,902 Oh, remember when he said our boss was trying to kidnap us? 1738 01:02:15,944 --> 01:02:17,445 -He did? -(laughter) 1739 01:02:17,487 --> 01:02:20,031 TED SR.: Or that his baby brother could walk and talk 1740 01:02:20,073 --> 01:02:21,700 but only when we weren't looking. 1741 01:02:21,741 --> 01:02:23,034 (laughter) 1742 01:02:23,076 --> 01:02:24,953 ("William TellOverture" playing) 1743 01:02:24,994 --> 01:02:27,831 (chuckling): Wow. Turn around. 1744 01:02:29,374 --> 01:02:31,042 TABITHA: That's so Dad. 1745 01:02:31,084 --> 01:02:33,753 You know, Ted was quite a handful himself. 1746 01:02:33,795 --> 01:02:36,089 -Oh, he could be very... -TED SR.: Uptight. 1747 01:02:36,131 --> 01:02:37,882 JANICE: Mm. Yes. High-strung. 1748 01:02:37,924 --> 01:02:40,301 Oh. Remember the time he sued us? 1749 01:02:40,343 --> 01:02:43,054 -(laughter) -JANICE: Teenagers. Ugh. 1750 01:02:43,096 --> 01:02:45,306 He really looked up to his big brother, though. 1751 01:02:45,348 --> 01:02:47,475 -BOTH: He did? -JANICE: Oh, yeah. 1752 01:02:47,517 --> 01:02:49,310 He wouldn't leave him alone. 1753 01:02:49,352 --> 01:02:50,937 Everything Tim did, Teddy wanted to do. 1754 01:02:50,979 --> 01:02:52,480 -TABITHA: Really? -Yeah. 1755 01:02:52,522 --> 01:02:54,607 -Tagalong Teddy, we called him. -(Tabitha chuckles) 1756 01:02:54,649 --> 01:02:56,776 -JANICE: Well, not to his face. -TED SR.: No, no. 1757 01:02:56,818 --> 01:02:59,029 Not to his face. He was very litigious. 1758 01:02:59,070 --> 01:03:01,281 But you know what? Your dad didn't mind. 1759 01:03:01,322 --> 01:03:03,324 He was so proud of his little brother. 1760 01:03:03,366 --> 01:03:05,160 -Oh, yeah. -He loved showing him off. 1761 01:03:05,201 --> 01:03:07,871 TED SR.: Those guys did everything together. 1762 01:03:07,912 --> 01:03:09,956 JANICE: They were best friends. 1763 01:03:09,998 --> 01:03:11,708 -Just like you and me. -(Tina giggling) 1764 01:03:11,750 --> 01:03:13,460 Right, Tina? 1765 01:03:13,501 --> 01:03:14,794 Best friends forever. 1766 01:03:14,836 --> 01:03:16,129 -Tickle monster! -(Carol chuckles) 1767 01:03:16,171 --> 01:03:18,298 CAROL: That's so sweet. 1768 01:03:26,014 --> 01:03:27,474 TABITHA: And this is my closet. 1769 01:03:27,515 --> 01:03:29,309 -TIM: Oh, cool closet. -And this is my bed. 1770 01:03:29,351 --> 01:03:31,269 -And this is my fish. -(tapping) 1771 01:03:31,311 --> 01:03:35,023 -Hey, want to see something really, really cool? -Sure. 1772 01:03:36,024 --> 01:03:37,984 I made this vocalizer for Dr. Hawking. 1773 01:03:38,026 --> 01:03:39,778 Hey, my old... 1774 01:03:39,819 --> 01:03:41,738 -What did you do?! -Check this out. 1775 01:03:41,780 --> 01:03:43,907 Say hello, Dr. Hawking. 1776 01:03:44,824 --> 01:03:46,826 ROBOTIC VOICE: Hell-l-l-l-l... 1777 01:03:46,868 --> 01:03:50,497 (grunts) Um, he has performance anxiety. 1778 01:03:50,538 --> 01:03:51,915 Mm-hmm. Yep. 1779 01:03:51,956 --> 01:03:53,583 Oh, this is Lamb Lamb. 1780 01:03:53,625 --> 01:03:55,126 Hey, Lamb Lamb. 1781 01:03:55,168 --> 01:03:57,837 That's my galaxy model right up there on my shelf. 1782 01:03:57,879 --> 01:04:00,048 My scientist of the week award. 1783 01:04:00,090 --> 01:04:01,925 -Wow. -My geode rock collection. 1784 01:04:01,966 --> 01:04:03,510 And my telescope. 1785 01:04:03,551 --> 01:04:04,678 Sweet. 1786 01:04:04,719 --> 01:04:07,013 -Hey, cool guitar. -Yeah. 1787 01:04:07,055 --> 01:04:08,056 That's my dad's. 1788 01:04:08,098 --> 01:04:09,933 Cool dad. (grunts) 1789 01:04:09,974 --> 01:04:11,226 Are you okay? 1790 01:04:11,267 --> 01:04:13,520 Yeah, I'm a lot taller in my mind. 1791 01:04:13,561 --> 01:04:16,731 Hey, if you want, I can help you with your song. 1792 01:04:16,773 --> 01:04:19,025 No, you can't. 1793 01:04:19,067 --> 01:04:20,694 -Your ears will bleed. -Oh, please. 1794 01:04:20,735 --> 01:04:22,362 It'll be fun. 1795 01:04:22,404 --> 01:04:24,948 How about this one? It's a classic. 1796 01:04:24,989 --> 01:04:27,033 (sighs) Do we have to? 1797 01:04:27,075 --> 01:04:29,369 Come on. Let's try. 1798 01:04:30,370 --> 01:04:32,122 Okay. 1799 01:04:33,164 --> 01:04:34,749 It's not gonna be good, though. 1800 01:04:34,791 --> 01:04:35,917 No judgment. 1801 01:04:35,959 --> 01:04:37,460 We're just having fun. 1802 01:04:37,502 --> 01:04:39,587 (playing gentle melody) 1803 01:04:42,424 --> 01:04:46,469 (off-key): * There's no place like home * 1804 01:04:46,511 --> 01:04:48,638 * For the holidays * 1805 01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:50,598 ROBOTIC VOICE: Please stop. 1806 01:04:50,640 --> 01:04:54,227 -No, stop. Aah...! -* 'Cause no matter * 1807 01:04:54,269 --> 01:04:56,896 * How far away you roam... * 1808 01:04:56,938 --> 01:04:58,314 (stops playing) 1809 01:04:58,356 --> 01:05:00,066 Good... try. 1810 01:05:00,108 --> 01:05:02,736 Ugh! I just get so nervous. 1811 01:05:02,777 --> 01:05:04,738 (chuckles): That's okay. 1812 01:05:04,779 --> 01:05:07,240 Listen, all you got to do 1813 01:05:07,282 --> 01:05:10,243 is imagine that you're inside the song. 1814 01:05:10,285 --> 01:05:14,080 Everything in the lyrics is actually happening to you. 1815 01:05:14,122 --> 01:05:17,250 And you can see the notes. 1816 01:05:17,292 --> 01:05:20,211 (playing "If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out") 1817 01:05:22,130 --> 01:05:25,800 TIM: * Well, if you want to sing out, sing out * 1818 01:05:25,842 --> 01:05:29,387 * And if you want to be free, be free * 1819 01:05:29,429 --> 01:05:32,766 -Wow. Whoa! -* 'Cause there's a million things to be * 1820 01:05:32,807 --> 01:05:35,435 -* You know that there are * -Whoa. Marcos, wait up. 1821 01:05:35,477 --> 01:05:37,187 -Come on. -(grunts) 1822 01:05:37,228 --> 01:05:39,439 -* And if you want to sing high, sing high * -(whimpering) 1823 01:05:39,481 --> 01:05:41,441 -That's a little too high. -* And if you want * 1824 01:05:41,483 --> 01:05:43,443 -* To sing low, sing low * -Whoa. 1825 01:05:43,485 --> 01:05:45,111 I got you. 1826 01:05:45,153 --> 01:05:47,364 -* 'Cause there's a million ways to go * -(gasps) 1827 01:05:47,405 --> 01:05:49,115 * You know that there are * 1828 01:05:49,157 --> 01:05:50,533 OMG, that's a lot. 1829 01:05:50,575 --> 01:05:51,659 (screams) 1830 01:05:51,701 --> 01:05:54,496 * Uh-huh, it's easy * 1831 01:05:54,537 --> 01:05:56,998 -* Uh-huh * -(screams, laughs) 1832 01:05:57,040 --> 01:05:59,626 * You only need to try * 1833 01:05:59,668 --> 01:06:01,419 (screams, laughs) 1834 01:06:01,461 --> 01:06:03,338 (yelling) 1835 01:06:03,380 --> 01:06:05,548 * You can sing what you want * 1836 01:06:05,590 --> 01:06:07,175 Whoo! Yeah, this is fun! 1837 01:06:07,217 --> 01:06:10,387 -* The opportunity's yours * -(whooping) 1838 01:06:10,428 --> 01:06:13,473 * And if you do it your way * 1839 01:06:13,515 --> 01:06:14,808 Whoa. 1840 01:06:14,849 --> 01:06:17,143 * You can do it today * 1841 01:06:17,185 --> 01:06:20,021 Marcos, wait. Where are you? 1842 01:06:20,063 --> 01:06:21,648 Come on. You can do it. 1843 01:06:21,690 --> 01:06:24,526 -I can't. I can't. -(audience cheering) 1844 01:06:27,195 --> 01:06:28,321 (gasps softly) 1845 01:06:28,363 --> 01:06:30,156 (audience murmuring quietly) 1846 01:06:30,198 --> 01:06:32,450 (panting nervously) 1847 01:06:33,702 --> 01:06:36,996 -Now go for it. -(audience chattering) 1848 01:06:37,038 --> 01:06:38,832 -* Ah-ah-ah * -(chatter stops) 1849 01:06:41,126 --> 01:06:43,628 Whoa. (chuckles) 1850 01:06:46,381 --> 01:06:47,549 Hey. 1851 01:06:47,590 --> 01:06:49,634 * It's easy * 1852 01:06:49,676 --> 01:06:51,052 * Ah-ah-ah * 1853 01:06:51,094 --> 01:06:54,681 * You only need to try * 1854 01:06:54,723 --> 01:06:56,433 TABITHA: All right. My turn. 1855 01:06:56,474 --> 01:06:58,393 TIM: Here we go. It's all you. 1856 01:06:58,435 --> 01:07:01,354 * Well, if I want to sing out, sing out * 1857 01:07:01,396 --> 01:07:03,064 -* Sing out * -Yes, let it out. 1858 01:07:03,106 --> 01:07:04,983 * And if I want to be free, be free * 1859 01:07:05,025 --> 01:07:06,359 * Be free * 1860 01:07:06,401 --> 01:07:08,570 * 'Cause there's a million things to be * 1861 01:07:08,611 --> 01:07:10,947 * I know that there are, I know that there are * 1862 01:07:10,989 --> 01:07:13,408 -* I know that there are * -* You know that there are * 1863 01:07:13,450 --> 01:07:16,369 -* I know that there are... * -* You know that there are... * 1864 01:07:16,411 --> 01:07:19,956 -* I know that there are * -* You know that there are * 1865 01:07:19,998 --> 01:07:24,085 * I know that there are. * 1866 01:07:27,756 --> 01:07:30,133 Wow. That was so great. 1867 01:07:30,175 --> 01:07:31,676 No, you were so great. 1868 01:07:31,718 --> 01:07:32,844 Thanks, Marcos. 1869 01:07:32,886 --> 01:07:34,262 -(camera clicks) -What? 1870 01:07:34,304 --> 01:07:35,722 -Oh, that's a keeper. -Oh, they can see us. 1871 01:07:35,764 --> 01:07:36,931 -They can see us. -Aw. 1872 01:07:36,973 --> 01:07:38,224 Guys, come on. 1873 01:07:38,266 --> 01:07:40,393 Stop. No, do it. Do it. 1874 01:07:40,435 --> 01:07:42,354 (chuckling): Oh, no. 1875 01:07:42,395 --> 01:07:44,647 Parents, right? (chuckles) 1876 01:07:44,689 --> 01:07:46,900 -Bye, Templeton family! -CAROL: Bye-bye. 1877 01:07:46,941 --> 01:07:48,568 -Bye, Marcos. -Lightspeed. 1878 01:07:48,610 --> 01:07:49,611 Weird kid. 1879 01:07:49,652 --> 01:07:51,321 JANICE: Yeah, I don't like him. 1880 01:07:51,363 --> 01:07:53,698 (guitar playing softly) 1881 01:07:53,740 --> 01:07:56,326 * Catch my eye * 1882 01:07:57,118 --> 01:07:59,788 * Take my hand * 1883 01:08:00,622 --> 01:08:02,290 * This bond is tighter than we * 1884 01:08:02,332 --> 01:08:04,000 You go get 'em, Tabitha. 1885 01:08:04,042 --> 01:08:06,169 * Ever planned * 1886 01:08:06,211 --> 01:08:09,047 * Give me courage * 1887 01:08:09,089 --> 01:08:10,674 * So I can land... * 1888 01:08:10,715 --> 01:08:12,258 TINA: Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, 1889 01:08:12,300 --> 01:08:13,760 pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, 1890 01:08:13,802 --> 01:08:15,929 pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. Choo-choo! 1891 01:08:15,970 --> 01:08:18,264 Don't they understand it's the fate of the world? 1892 01:08:18,306 --> 01:08:20,350 I've been on hold forever! 1893 01:08:20,392 --> 01:08:22,435 CHILD: All operators are currently napping. 1894 01:08:22,477 --> 01:08:24,979 I've been on hold so long I got a tooth growing in. 1895 01:08:25,021 --> 01:08:27,440 Back in my day, we wrote memos. 1896 01:08:27,482 --> 01:08:29,067 That's cute and old-timey. 1897 01:08:29,109 --> 01:08:30,402 (scoffs) 1898 01:08:30,443 --> 01:08:32,445 TED: I weep for the future. 1899 01:08:32,487 --> 01:08:34,948 Do you want to talk about your feelings now while I'm on hold? 1900 01:08:34,989 --> 01:08:36,116 I can give you 20 minutes. 1901 01:08:36,157 --> 01:08:37,409 No. 1902 01:08:37,450 --> 01:08:39,035 Let's get to the nut, the nugget. 1903 01:08:39,077 --> 01:08:40,537 What are you afraid of? 1904 01:08:40,578 --> 01:08:42,997 Sharks, getting shot in the head with an arrow, 1905 01:08:43,039 --> 01:08:44,416 and... the IRS. 1906 01:08:44,457 --> 01:08:45,959 -That's it. -There you go. 1907 01:08:46,001 --> 01:08:47,460 Was that so hard? Baby steps. 1908 01:08:47,502 --> 01:08:49,462 Now, what about being lonely? 1909 01:08:49,504 --> 01:08:51,339 -I'm not lonely. -Mm-hmm. 1910 01:08:51,381 --> 01:08:53,800 I'm just... alone. 1911 01:08:53,842 --> 01:08:55,301 There's a difference. 1912 01:08:55,343 --> 01:08:56,970 -I think it's time you read your file. -(gasps) 1913 01:08:57,012 --> 01:08:58,596 -Ah-ah-ah-ah. -Just give me. 1914 01:08:58,638 --> 01:09:00,015 Whoa. This is it? 1915 01:09:00,056 --> 01:09:02,517 It's so thin. 1916 01:09:02,559 --> 01:09:04,394 YOUNG TIM: Dear Boss Baby, 1917 01:09:04,436 --> 01:09:06,021 I promise you this: 1918 01:09:06,062 --> 01:09:08,732 Every morning when you wake up, I will be there. 1919 01:09:08,773 --> 01:09:11,484 Every night at dinner, I will be there. 1920 01:09:11,526 --> 01:09:13,903 Every birthday party, every Christmas morning, 1921 01:09:13,945 --> 01:09:15,405 I will be there. 1922 01:09:15,447 --> 01:09:18,825 Year after year after year. 1923 01:09:18,867 --> 01:09:23,788 And you and I will always be brothers. 1924 01:09:23,830 --> 01:09:25,707 Always. 1925 01:09:25,749 --> 01:09:28,501 Makes me want to make a sad face. 1926 01:09:28,543 --> 01:09:30,754 (toy train whistle blows) 1927 01:09:33,256 --> 01:09:35,508 We were just kids. 1928 01:09:35,550 --> 01:09:38,094 We didn't know anything about the real world. 1929 01:09:38,136 --> 01:09:40,638 And eventually, you have to grow up. 1930 01:09:40,680 --> 01:09:42,891 Just because you grow up, it doesn't mean 1931 01:09:42,932 --> 01:09:44,434 you have to grow apart. 1932 01:09:44,476 --> 01:09:47,103 I don't know. Maybe it's already too late. 1933 01:09:47,145 --> 01:09:49,105 TIM (grunting): Hey. 1934 01:09:49,147 --> 01:09:50,357 Sorry I'm late. 1935 01:09:50,398 --> 01:09:51,941 TINA: Daddy! 1936 01:09:51,983 --> 01:09:53,151 Daddy, Daddy. 1937 01:09:53,193 --> 01:09:54,402 What's going on? 1938 01:09:54,444 --> 01:09:55,904 Uncle Ted really misses you. 1939 01:09:55,945 --> 01:09:58,281 -Isn't that nice? -(toy train whistle blows) 1940 01:10:01,076 --> 01:10:03,870 So, hey, uh, what you doing? 1941 01:10:03,912 --> 01:10:05,330 Oh, I was, uh... 1942 01:10:05,372 --> 01:10:08,583 I don't know, I was just working on this. 1943 01:10:08,625 --> 01:10:10,418 (gasps) 1944 01:10:12,837 --> 01:10:15,632 Look, I'm sorry about what I said at recess. 1945 01:10:15,674 --> 01:10:18,259 What happens on the playground stays on the playground. 1946 01:10:18,301 --> 01:10:20,178 I was just worried about Tabitha, you know? 1947 01:10:20,220 --> 01:10:21,554 She's your daughter. I get it. 1948 01:10:21,596 --> 01:10:23,264 This whole time, I was thinking about 1949 01:10:23,306 --> 01:10:25,642 what I wanted and not what she needed. 1950 01:10:25,684 --> 01:10:27,811 I think I finally got this parenting thing figured out. 1951 01:10:27,852 --> 01:10:28,978 Gold star for you, Daddy. 1952 01:10:29,020 --> 01:10:30,647 -Keep it up, Pops. -Yeah, well, about that. 1953 01:10:30,689 --> 01:10:33,775 Armstrong wants to get rid of parents somehow. 1954 01:10:33,817 --> 01:10:36,111 -Sorry, what? -He's planning a baby revolution. 1955 01:10:36,152 --> 01:10:37,654 Ugh, come on. 1956 01:10:37,696 --> 01:10:39,906 Just when I got good at this whole parenting thing. 1957 01:10:39,948 --> 01:10:41,408 We got to stop him. 1958 01:10:41,449 --> 01:10:42,992 -Not we. -You? 1959 01:10:43,034 --> 01:10:44,369 Neither one of us. 1960 01:10:44,411 --> 01:10:46,037 -BabyCorp is taking it from here. -Ah. 1961 01:10:46,079 --> 01:10:48,206 So, what, they're gonna send in the Baby SEALS or something? 1962 01:10:48,248 --> 01:10:49,749 -Looks like it. -So you'll, um... 1963 01:10:49,791 --> 01:10:52,127 you'll be headed back to your office. 1964 01:10:52,168 --> 01:10:54,421 TED: Uh, yeah. Well, keep in touch, Tim. 1965 01:10:54,462 --> 01:10:56,256 Hello? BabyCorp? 1966 01:10:56,297 --> 01:10:58,258 Thank goodness, BabyCorp. Well, BabyCo... 1967 01:10:58,299 --> 01:11:00,510 (stammering): Wha-What? What are you saying, 1968 01:11:00,552 --> 01:11:02,512 there's not enough evidence, BabyCorp? I... 1969 01:11:02,554 --> 01:11:04,347 -Uh-oh. -So you're not gonna do anything? 1970 01:11:04,389 --> 01:11:05,765 But, BabyCorp, I... 1971 01:11:05,807 --> 01:11:07,475 Ugh. Well, then we'll take care of it. 1972 01:11:07,517 --> 01:11:09,269 You know what, BabyCorp? 1973 01:11:09,310 --> 01:11:10,687 I quit! 1974 01:11:10,729 --> 01:11:12,814 What a bunch of diaper sniffers. (grunts) 1975 01:11:12,856 --> 01:11:14,566 (whistle blows, train powers down) 1976 01:11:14,607 --> 01:11:16,776 Looks like we have to stop Armstrong ourselves. 1977 01:11:16,818 --> 01:11:19,362 We're going rogue. I like it. 1978 01:11:19,404 --> 01:11:21,031 -So the mission's back on? -Yeah. 1979 01:11:21,072 --> 01:11:23,825 If you two can put up with each other a little longer. 1980 01:11:23,867 --> 01:11:27,120 I suppose I can live with that. Tim? 1981 01:11:27,162 --> 01:11:28,121 I think that's doable. 1982 01:11:28,163 --> 01:11:29,122 Yay! 1983 01:11:29,164 --> 01:11:30,582 Forced together again. 1984 01:11:30,623 --> 01:11:33,376 WIZZIE: It's 8:45 p.m. 1985 01:11:33,418 --> 01:11:35,462 TED: Okay. Our clock is ticking. 1986 01:11:35,503 --> 01:11:38,590 We have to stop Armstrong before the formula wears off. 1987 01:11:38,631 --> 01:11:42,010 Working as a team, we will strike at the pageant. 1988 01:11:42,052 --> 01:11:43,303 Go, Tina. 1989 01:11:43,345 --> 01:11:45,638 Now, this top secret document... 1990 01:11:45,680 --> 01:11:47,140 Sweetie, it's the program. 1991 01:11:47,182 --> 01:11:49,476 This top secret program reveals 1992 01:11:49,517 --> 01:11:52,479 that Armstrong is scheduled to address the audience, 1993 01:11:52,520 --> 01:11:55,565 which he will do right here at the very end. 1994 01:11:55,607 --> 01:11:58,193 We need someone backstage. Tim, that's you. 1995 01:11:58,234 --> 01:12:00,862 How am I gonna get backstage if I'm not in the pageant? 1996 01:12:00,904 --> 01:12:02,739 TED: My people will take care of that. 1997 01:12:02,781 --> 01:12:03,573 (toy squeaks) 1998 01:12:03,615 --> 01:12:04,991 -Ah! -Thank you. 1999 01:12:05,033 --> 01:12:06,159 -(chuckles) -Thank you. 2000 01:12:06,201 --> 01:12:07,243 -No! -Great. 2001 01:12:07,285 --> 01:12:09,329 -And... go. -(laughing) 2002 01:12:09,371 --> 01:12:10,789 Glue. 2003 01:12:10,830 --> 01:12:12,665 (screams) 2004 01:12:12,707 --> 01:12:15,001 ROBOT VOICE: There, there. All better. 2005 01:12:15,043 --> 01:12:16,628 Awesome. 2006 01:12:16,670 --> 01:12:20,090 Now, I'll be your eyes and your ears in the audience. 2007 01:12:20,131 --> 01:12:22,008 I can't let Mommy see me talk, 2008 01:12:22,050 --> 01:12:23,927 or she's gonna start squealing and hugging me, 2009 01:12:23,968 --> 01:12:25,679 but these little doodads will let you 2010 01:12:25,720 --> 01:12:27,514 understand my baby talk. 2011 01:12:27,555 --> 01:12:29,182 It's called a GAGA device. 2012 01:12:29,224 --> 01:12:30,558 -Aw, that's cute. -Check it out. 2013 01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:31,851 (speaks gibberish) 2014 01:12:31,893 --> 01:12:33,103 (over GAGA): Can you hear me, Daddy? 2015 01:12:33,144 --> 01:12:34,354 Also cute. 2016 01:12:34,396 --> 01:12:36,439 Meanwhile, with my new purple status, 2017 01:12:36,481 --> 01:12:38,483 I can stay close to Armstrong. 2018 01:12:38,525 --> 01:12:40,527 Um, that's-that's an eyebrow. 2019 01:12:40,568 --> 01:12:42,529 -Oh. Sorry. -Uh, no, that's, uh... 2020 01:12:42,570 --> 01:12:44,280 TED: When the moment is right, 2021 01:12:44,322 --> 01:12:45,907 I'll implant a device. 2022 01:12:45,949 --> 01:12:47,409 -Got it. -Got what? 2023 01:12:47,450 --> 01:12:48,618 I mean, you've got this. 2024 01:12:48,660 --> 01:12:50,662 Go get 'em, tiger. (chuckles) 2025 01:12:50,704 --> 01:12:52,622 -Oh, thank you, parents. -(applause) 2026 01:12:52,664 --> 01:12:54,040 Thank you. There's the... 2027 01:12:54,082 --> 01:12:56,042 There's the old enthusiasm I like to see. 2028 01:12:56,084 --> 01:12:58,420 TINA: This will allow me to control his suit. 2029 01:12:58,461 --> 01:13:01,881 I can make Muttonchops do whatever I want. 2030 01:13:01,923 --> 01:13:03,758 (babbling) 2031 01:13:03,800 --> 01:13:06,177 TINA: I can make him dance. 2032 01:13:06,219 --> 01:13:07,887 I can make him prance. 2033 01:13:07,929 --> 01:13:09,723 -Hey, no, no, no, no. -Including exposing himself 2034 01:13:09,764 --> 01:13:11,558 -to the audience. -(audience gasps) 2035 01:13:11,599 --> 01:13:14,352 -(screams) -Every parent will pull out their phone. 2036 01:13:14,394 --> 01:13:16,730 Don't look at me. Don't look at me! 2037 01:13:16,771 --> 01:13:19,357 The photos will spread like a diaper rash. 2038 01:13:19,399 --> 01:13:21,234 Cut to our pizza party. 2039 01:13:21,276 --> 01:13:23,194 Boom! Bam! Poo! Poof! 2040 01:13:23,236 --> 01:13:24,404 Questions? 2041 01:13:24,446 --> 01:13:25,613 After Tabitha sings her solo, right? 2042 01:13:25,655 --> 01:13:27,115 After Tabitha sings. 2043 01:13:27,157 --> 01:13:30,785 Now we just sit back, relax and enjoy the show. 2044 01:13:32,037 --> 01:13:33,580 (fanfare playing) 2045 01:13:33,621 --> 01:13:36,082 ARMSTRONG: Welcome, parents, to our holiday pageant. 2046 01:13:36,124 --> 01:13:39,586 Remember, flash photography in the auditorium 2047 01:13:39,627 --> 01:13:42,255 is absolutely okay. 2048 01:13:42,297 --> 01:13:45,050 Take a picture. Show your kids that you love 'em. 2049 01:13:45,091 --> 01:13:46,593 Yippee! 2050 01:13:46,634 --> 01:13:47,969 Come on, Tim. 2051 01:13:48,011 --> 01:13:50,263 -You promised you'd be here. -(man groans) 2052 01:13:50,305 --> 01:13:51,765 Oh, sorry. This seat is taken. 2053 01:13:51,806 --> 01:13:53,725 -Yep. Sorry. -Oh, no. (mutters) 2054 01:13:53,767 --> 01:13:55,977 -So sorry. I... Sorry. -(man grunts, mutters) 2055 01:13:56,019 --> 01:13:58,104 -Sorry! I am so sorry. -(speaking gibberish) 2056 01:13:58,146 --> 01:14:00,440 (over GAGA): Uncle Teddy, are you in position? 2057 01:14:00,482 --> 01:14:01,816 The baby's in the cradle. 2058 01:14:01,858 --> 01:14:04,486 -The baby's in the cradle. -Mmm. (slurping) 2059 01:14:04,527 --> 01:14:06,112 (speaking gibberish) 2060 01:14:06,154 --> 01:14:08,114 (over GAGA): Papa Bear, can you read me? 2061 01:14:08,156 --> 01:14:09,741 The flake has landed. 2062 01:14:09,783 --> 01:14:11,826 Places! Places, everybody! 2063 01:14:11,868 --> 01:14:13,203 -Here we go. Here we go. -Oh, my gosh. 2064 01:14:13,244 --> 01:14:15,121 -It's starting. It's starting. -(sighs) Finally. 2065 01:14:15,163 --> 01:14:16,706 It's starting. It's starting. 2066 01:14:16,748 --> 01:14:17,999 Yay! 2067 01:14:18,041 --> 01:14:20,126 -You're a big pageant guy, huh? -No, no, no. 2068 01:14:20,168 --> 01:14:22,671 I'm not talking about the show. I'm talking about B-Day. 2069 01:14:23,505 --> 01:14:24,881 B-Day? 2070 01:14:24,923 --> 01:14:27,258 Oh, yeah. It's already in the parents' phones. 2071 01:14:27,300 --> 01:14:29,010 (coughs) 2072 01:14:29,052 --> 01:14:30,804 I taught babies to code. 2073 01:14:30,845 --> 01:14:33,515 TED: Apps. They're writing apps. 2074 01:14:33,556 --> 01:14:35,725 But my next app... 2075 01:14:35,767 --> 01:14:39,312 ooh, it's gonna change the world forever. 2076 01:14:39,354 --> 01:14:43,983 QT Snap is the app that's going to change the world forever? 2077 01:14:44,025 --> 01:14:46,986 Forever starts today. (chuckles) 2078 01:14:47,028 --> 01:14:49,030 Uh, cool. (gasps) 2079 01:14:49,072 --> 01:14:51,449 (audience gasping) 2080 01:14:54,160 --> 01:14:55,662 AUDIENCE: Aw. 2081 01:14:55,704 --> 01:14:57,205 -KIDS: * It's wintertime * -(Tim mumbling) 2082 01:14:57,247 --> 01:14:58,832 * It's the best time of year * 2083 01:14:58,873 --> 01:15:00,750 * But due to ice caps melting * 2084 01:15:00,792 --> 01:15:02,836 * Global warming's here * 2085 01:15:02,877 --> 01:15:04,671 * It feels like summer * 2086 01:15:04,713 --> 01:15:06,673 * The snow has disappeared * 2087 01:15:06,715 --> 01:15:08,341 * It's all our parents' fault * 2088 01:15:08,383 --> 01:15:11,261 -* So we're all doomed * -TIM: * All, uh... * 2089 01:15:11,302 --> 01:15:12,721 * Doomed. * 2090 01:15:12,762 --> 01:15:14,347 This is kind of dark. 2091 01:15:14,389 --> 01:15:15,682 Did the kids just say we're doomed? 2092 01:15:15,724 --> 01:15:17,684 What the heck are we watching? 2093 01:15:17,726 --> 01:15:19,769 -(camera clicks) -(yelps) 2094 01:15:19,811 --> 01:15:21,521 Their brains are turning to mush. 2095 01:15:21,563 --> 01:15:23,064 Months of hypnotic research embedded 2096 01:15:23,106 --> 01:15:25,900 in the most user-friendly photo app ever made. 2097 01:15:25,942 --> 01:15:27,527 Ooh. 2098 01:15:27,569 --> 01:15:29,612 Now all we need to do is sit back, relax 2099 01:15:29,654 --> 01:15:31,364 and enjoy the show. 2100 01:15:31,406 --> 01:15:32,741 -WOMAN: Hey! -Right. 2101 01:15:32,782 --> 01:15:34,909 (chuckles) I'll be right back. We're, uh... 2102 01:15:34,951 --> 01:15:36,578 -WOMAN: Hey! -...out of Dundle Floofers. 2103 01:15:36,619 --> 01:15:37,954 -(chuckles) -Mmm. 2104 01:15:37,996 --> 01:15:39,539 (chuckling) 2105 01:15:39,581 --> 01:15:41,041 KIDS: Diwali! 2106 01:15:41,082 --> 01:15:42,917 (traditional Hindu music playing) 2107 01:15:42,959 --> 01:15:44,544 Las Posadas! 2108 01:15:44,586 --> 01:15:46,880 (mariachi music playing) 2109 01:15:46,921 --> 01:15:49,049 -Agnostic! -(music stops) 2110 01:15:50,258 --> 01:15:52,594 -And Hanukkah! -(screams) 2111 01:15:52,635 --> 01:15:53,928 Your son is so talented. 2112 01:15:53,970 --> 01:15:56,222 -Oh, so is yours. -Liars. 2113 01:15:56,264 --> 01:15:58,725 Tina, come in. B-Day is happening now. 2114 01:15:58,767 --> 01:16:00,268 It's all in the phones. 2115 01:16:00,310 --> 01:16:03,271 Armstrong is using an app to brainwash the parents. 2116 01:16:03,313 --> 01:16:05,315 -(gasps) -(over GAGA): Gasp. 2117 01:16:05,357 --> 01:16:07,567 -TED: We have to stop the show. -(speaking gibberish) 2118 01:16:07,609 --> 01:16:09,152 (over GAGA): Okay, okay. Uh, there's a... 2119 01:16:09,194 --> 01:16:11,696 there's a big old no-touchy switch backstage. 2120 01:16:11,738 --> 01:16:13,073 (speaking gibberish) 2121 01:16:13,114 --> 01:16:14,741 (over GAGA): Daddy, we have to pull the plug. 2122 01:16:14,783 --> 01:16:16,993 Daddy, come in. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, 2123 01:16:17,035 --> 01:16:18,411 Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. 2124 01:16:18,453 --> 01:16:20,372 Ugh. He's not responding. 2125 01:16:20,413 --> 01:16:21,706 (panting): Of course not. 2126 01:16:21,748 --> 01:16:23,875 -I'll do it myself. -Stop! 2127 01:16:23,917 --> 01:16:26,753 -(grunts) -Theater kids only. 2128 01:16:26,795 --> 01:16:29,089 Oh, come on, nativity! 2129 01:16:29,130 --> 01:16:30,465 Look holier! 2130 01:16:30,507 --> 01:16:31,925 (angelic choir vocalizing) 2131 01:16:31,966 --> 01:16:33,510 (gasps) 2132 01:16:33,551 --> 01:16:35,929 TIM: Hey, Tabitha. 2133 01:16:35,970 --> 01:16:37,847 (chuckling): Don't you worry, okay? 2134 01:16:37,889 --> 01:16:39,766 You're gonna be great. 2135 01:16:39,808 --> 01:16:42,060 Thanks, Marcos. And thanks for all your help. 2136 01:16:42,102 --> 01:16:43,186 Anytime. 2137 01:16:43,228 --> 01:16:45,271 I feel like you really understand me. 2138 01:16:45,313 --> 01:16:46,940 I'm so excited. 2139 01:16:46,981 --> 01:16:50,735 I can't wait to see the look on my dad's face when I sing. 2140 01:16:51,695 --> 01:16:53,613 MEGHAN: Hey! You're on, Templeton! 2141 01:16:53,655 --> 01:16:54,948 Wish me luck. 2142 01:16:54,989 --> 01:16:56,366 MEGHAN: And break a leg. 2143 01:16:56,408 --> 01:16:57,909 Or two, for that matter. (laughs) 2144 01:16:57,951 --> 01:17:01,538 KIDS: * We're in this together * 2145 01:17:01,579 --> 01:17:04,124 * We live in harmony... * 2146 01:17:04,165 --> 01:17:05,375 TED: Psst. 2147 01:17:06,334 --> 01:17:07,460 Tim! 2148 01:17:07,502 --> 01:17:08,712 Is that the baby Jesus? 2149 01:17:08,753 --> 01:17:10,005 (gasps) 2150 01:17:10,046 --> 01:17:11,256 (screams) 2151 01:17:11,297 --> 01:17:12,966 (laughing) 2152 01:17:14,259 --> 01:17:17,804 * We have to shut down the pageant. * 2153 01:17:17,846 --> 01:17:19,723 -Yeah! -What? No. Why? 2154 01:17:19,764 --> 01:17:22,142 Armstrong's turning the parents into zombies 2155 01:17:22,183 --> 01:17:23,852 so they'll do whatever he wants. 2156 01:17:23,893 --> 01:17:25,979 What? What are you doing? No! 2157 01:17:26,021 --> 01:17:27,397 -(grunts) -(chair crashes) 2158 01:17:27,439 --> 01:17:28,773 Tabitha's on next. 2159 01:17:28,815 --> 01:17:30,775 TED: You'd risk the future of the world 2160 01:17:30,817 --> 01:17:32,819 -to see your daughter sing? -Yes! 2161 01:17:32,861 --> 01:17:34,904 -I have to be there for her. -Look who's worried about 2162 01:17:34,946 --> 01:17:36,531 showing up for things all of a sudden. 2163 01:17:36,573 --> 01:17:38,158 What's that supposed to mean? 2164 01:17:38,199 --> 01:17:39,826 You didn't even come to my graduation. 2165 01:17:39,868 --> 01:17:41,286 Ow! Which one? 2166 01:17:41,327 --> 01:17:43,747 Business school, law school. None of them. 2167 01:17:43,788 --> 01:17:45,498 You didn't even come to my wedding. 2168 01:17:45,540 --> 01:17:47,250 -Which one? -I only had one! 2169 01:17:47,292 --> 01:17:48,918 We had a deal, Tim. 2170 01:17:48,960 --> 01:17:50,837 You promised you'd be there always. 2171 01:17:50,879 --> 01:17:52,422 Whoa. Where did you... 2172 01:17:52,464 --> 01:17:55,050 -Breach of contract! -(grunts) 2173 01:17:55,884 --> 01:17:57,677 (ninja babies whooping) 2174 01:17:57,719 --> 01:17:58,845 Whoa. 2175 01:17:58,887 --> 01:18:00,180 -Whoa! -Whoa! 2176 01:18:00,221 --> 01:18:02,599 ARMSTRONG: How do you do there, fellas? 2177 01:18:02,640 --> 01:18:05,560 (chuckles) Nothing's gonna ruin my B-Day. 2178 01:18:05,602 --> 01:18:08,146 Not even you. 2179 01:18:08,188 --> 01:18:10,023 -Oh, busted. -Yeah, it was obvious 2180 01:18:10,065 --> 01:18:11,649 from the very, very beginning 2181 01:18:11,691 --> 01:18:14,319 that you two were working together. 2182 01:18:14,361 --> 01:18:15,737 What gave us away? 2183 01:18:15,779 --> 01:18:18,031 Well, I'd say the bickering, 2184 01:18:18,073 --> 01:18:19,866 the, uh, petty disputes, 2185 01:18:19,908 --> 01:18:21,534 the jealousy. 2186 01:18:21,576 --> 01:18:24,704 You know, you two are brothers in every single way. 2187 01:18:24,746 --> 01:18:26,414 (hums a tune) 2188 01:18:26,456 --> 01:18:28,708 -Off to the Box they go. -(ninja babies yelling) 2189 01:18:28,750 --> 01:18:30,752 What? No. Not the Box. Not now. 2190 01:18:30,794 --> 01:18:32,379 Please. 2191 01:18:32,420 --> 01:18:34,381 Aw, it's just... it's too bad that you're never gonna 2192 01:18:34,422 --> 01:18:36,549 have a chance to reboot your relationship and... 2193 01:18:36,591 --> 01:18:38,510 -No! -...and restore the closeness 2194 01:18:38,551 --> 01:18:39,886 that you once felt. 2195 01:18:39,928 --> 01:18:41,554 -Sorry about that. -No. 2196 01:18:41,596 --> 01:18:43,807 -No, no, no, no. No! -Adios, Marcos. 2197 01:18:43,848 --> 01:18:46,893 * Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... * 2198 01:18:46,935 --> 01:18:48,770 CAROL: Oh, look, look. There she is. 2199 01:18:48,812 --> 01:18:49,938 There's our little angel. 2200 01:18:49,979 --> 01:18:51,856 -Oh! Tabby's in the tree. -Ah! Oh! 2201 01:18:53,358 --> 01:18:55,568 * Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh * 2202 01:18:55,610 --> 01:18:57,362 * Ooh-ooh-ooh... * 2203 01:18:57,404 --> 01:19:00,699 (ninja babies speaking gibberish, laughing) 2204 01:19:00,740 --> 01:19:02,409 (yells) 2205 01:19:02,450 --> 01:19:04,786 You had one job to do. 2206 01:19:04,828 --> 01:19:06,788 One job. 2207 01:19:06,830 --> 01:19:08,790 -Oh, no. -The fountain. 2208 01:19:08,832 --> 01:19:10,458 It's flooding the room. 2209 01:19:10,500 --> 01:19:11,835 This isn't a time-out. 2210 01:19:11,876 --> 01:19:13,253 It's game over. 2211 01:19:13,294 --> 01:19:15,338 * Ooh-ooh * 2212 01:19:15,380 --> 01:19:17,674 * Ooh-ooh-ooh * 2213 01:19:17,716 --> 01:19:20,468 (panting) 2214 01:19:23,054 --> 01:19:24,431 MEGHAN: Psst. 2215 01:19:24,472 --> 01:19:28,059 It's one, two, three and one, two, three. 2216 01:19:28,101 --> 01:19:30,311 -(gasps, pants) -(piano playing) 2217 01:19:39,446 --> 01:19:41,948 * Catch my eye * 2218 01:19:41,990 --> 01:19:45,118 * Take my hand * 2219 01:19:45,160 --> 01:19:50,457 * This bond is tighter than we ever planned * 2220 01:19:50,498 --> 01:19:52,834 * Give me courage * 2221 01:19:52,876 --> 01:19:55,295 * So I can land * 2222 01:19:55,337 --> 01:19:58,840 * We know that divided we'll fall * 2223 01:19:58,882 --> 01:20:02,927 * So together we stand * 2224 01:20:03,887 --> 01:20:06,848 * Laugh and cry with me * 2225 01:20:06,890 --> 01:20:09,517 * Fly that high with me * 2226 01:20:09,559 --> 01:20:11,686 -* See the sunset and the sunrise * -(gasping) 2227 01:20:11,728 --> 01:20:14,356 -* The world looks so good through our eyes * -Wow. 2228 01:20:14,397 --> 01:20:19,361 * Like the moon and stars at night * 2229 01:20:20,987 --> 01:20:23,031 You're right. I blew it. 2230 01:20:23,073 --> 01:20:25,158 I ruined the mission. (sighs) 2231 01:20:25,200 --> 01:20:27,077 And I'm a terrible father. 2232 01:20:27,118 --> 01:20:30,080 Hey, you did sort of ruin the mission. 2233 01:20:30,121 --> 01:20:31,706 But you're a great dad. 2234 01:20:31,748 --> 01:20:33,166 No, I'm not. 2235 01:20:33,208 --> 01:20:34,793 I could never do your job. 2236 01:20:34,834 --> 01:20:36,378 I mean, you work around the clock, 2237 01:20:36,419 --> 01:20:38,088 you can't even quit if you wanted to, 2238 01:20:38,129 --> 01:20:39,714 and you don't even get paid. 2239 01:20:39,756 --> 01:20:42,092 Frankly, I don't see how that's legal. 2240 01:20:42,133 --> 01:20:44,260 I was always jealous of you. 2241 01:20:44,302 --> 01:20:46,721 I wanted to be successful, too, you know. 2242 01:20:46,763 --> 01:20:48,056 Sure, Tim. 2243 01:20:48,098 --> 01:20:50,433 I made a lot of money... 2244 01:20:50,475 --> 01:20:52,560 but you made a family. 2245 01:20:53,645 --> 01:20:55,689 The truth is... 2246 01:20:55,730 --> 01:20:57,649 it's lonely at the top. 2247 01:21:00,985 --> 01:21:03,697 * Reach with me * 2248 01:21:03,738 --> 01:21:07,033 * See the sky * 2249 01:21:07,075 --> 01:21:11,788 * I'll always be here for the rest of your life * 2250 01:21:11,830 --> 01:21:14,791 * Sail that ocean * 2251 01:21:14,833 --> 01:21:17,210 * Find that sand * 2252 01:21:17,252 --> 01:21:20,797 * We know that divided we'll fall * 2253 01:21:20,839 --> 01:21:24,843 * So together we stand * 2254 01:21:24,884 --> 01:21:27,095 (kids vocalizing) 2255 01:21:30,265 --> 01:21:34,185 You know, I'm... I'm sorry we don't see each other anymore. 2256 01:21:34,227 --> 01:21:36,229 A very wise person once told me, 2257 01:21:36,271 --> 01:21:38,064 just because you grow up 2258 01:21:38,106 --> 01:21:40,066 doesn't mean you have to grow apart. 2259 01:21:40,108 --> 01:21:41,609 -Was it Tina? -Oh, yeah. 2260 01:21:41,651 --> 01:21:44,571 (laughing): Oh, it is crazy how smart she is. 2261 01:21:44,612 --> 01:21:46,823 It's like she looks right into your soul. 2262 01:21:46,865 --> 01:21:49,743 I'm sorry that I missed your graduations. 2263 01:21:49,784 --> 01:21:52,454 I'm sorry I missed your one wedding. 2264 01:21:52,495 --> 01:21:55,749 BOTH: I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. 2265 01:21:55,790 --> 01:21:58,668 * Side by side * 2266 01:21:58,710 --> 01:22:01,338 * Hand in hand * 2267 01:22:01,379 --> 01:22:06,217 * We speak a language no one else can understand * 2268 01:22:06,259 --> 01:22:09,179 -* Hear those cheers * -(cameras clicking) 2269 01:22:09,220 --> 01:22:11,473 * Strike up the band * 2270 01:22:11,514 --> 01:22:15,977 * We know that divided we'll fall * 2271 01:22:16,019 --> 01:22:23,193 * So together we stand. * 2272 01:22:25,862 --> 01:22:27,030 (chuckles) 2273 01:22:27,072 --> 01:22:29,115 (panting) 2274 01:22:32,744 --> 01:22:34,746 (pants, whimpers) 2275 01:22:34,788 --> 01:22:37,165 (one person clapping) 2276 01:22:38,875 --> 01:22:41,503 (hyperventilating) 2277 01:22:41,544 --> 01:22:43,797 (crying) 2278 01:22:43,838 --> 01:22:45,840 Oh, Tabitha. 2279 01:22:45,882 --> 01:22:47,300 (gasps) Gramps? 2280 01:22:47,342 --> 01:22:49,010 Nana? Mom? 2281 01:22:49,052 --> 01:22:50,178 Oh, no! 2282 01:22:50,220 --> 01:22:52,097 -(grunts) -Oh, my gosh, Tabitha. 2283 01:22:52,138 --> 01:22:53,973 You did such a great job. 2284 01:22:54,015 --> 01:22:57,227 Well, that's just horribly rude of you all. 2285 01:22:57,268 --> 01:22:58,561 Come on, everybody. 2286 01:22:58,603 --> 01:23:02,440 Uh, how about a standing ovation? 2287 01:23:02,482 --> 01:23:05,402 -(laughs) Very good. -(Tina gasps) 2288 01:23:05,443 --> 01:23:07,028 They're zombies! 2289 01:23:07,070 --> 01:23:08,738 We did it! 2290 01:23:08,780 --> 01:23:12,659 -The baby revolution has begun. -(babies cheering, laughing) 2291 01:23:12,701 --> 01:23:14,994 No more need for costumes. 2292 01:23:15,036 --> 01:23:16,913 (yells, laughs) 2293 01:23:16,955 --> 01:23:19,124 Who wants cake? 2294 01:23:20,041 --> 01:23:21,501 Oh, my gosh. 2295 01:23:21,543 --> 01:23:24,087 ARMSTRONG: Happy B-Day, everybody. 2296 01:23:24,129 --> 01:23:26,131 Daddy, Uncle Ted. 2297 01:23:26,172 --> 01:23:27,716 Come in. Where are you? 2298 01:23:27,757 --> 01:23:30,051 (crying) 2299 01:23:33,722 --> 01:23:36,016 (door opens, closes) 2300 01:23:36,057 --> 01:23:38,059 (sniffles) 2301 01:23:38,101 --> 01:23:40,061 TINA: Here you go, sis. 2302 01:23:40,103 --> 01:23:42,605 Now, I already used this, so I know it's safe. 2303 01:23:42,647 --> 01:23:44,399 Thanks. 2304 01:23:45,775 --> 01:23:48,319 Wait. Are you t-talking? 2305 01:23:48,361 --> 01:23:50,321 (chuckling): I know. It's pretty weird, isn't it? 2306 01:23:50,363 --> 01:23:52,574 (screams) Oh, my gosh, you're talking! 2307 01:23:52,615 --> 01:23:54,034 It's an emergency. 2308 01:23:54,075 --> 01:23:56,369 I'm on a supersecret mission from BabyCorp. 2309 01:23:56,411 --> 01:23:57,370 (gasps) 2310 01:23:57,412 --> 01:23:59,789 You mean Dad's stories are true? 2311 01:23:59,831 --> 01:24:01,708 That's what the suit says. 2312 01:24:01,750 --> 01:24:02,917 How do I look? 2313 01:24:02,959 --> 01:24:04,336 No way! 2314 01:24:04,377 --> 01:24:06,379 Now, I can't get ahold of Dad or Uncle Ted, 2315 01:24:06,421 --> 01:24:08,298 so I need your help, big sis. 2316 01:24:08,340 --> 01:24:09,924 Wait, wait. Dad's here? 2317 01:24:09,966 --> 01:24:11,426 They've been here the whole time. 2318 01:24:11,468 --> 01:24:13,386 -Where? -I don't have much time to explain, 2319 01:24:13,428 --> 01:24:15,764 but Dr. Armstrong is a baby. 2320 01:24:15,805 --> 01:24:17,724 A very bad, bad baby. 2321 01:24:17,766 --> 01:24:21,603 Soon, the world is gonna be our playground. 2322 01:24:21,644 --> 01:24:24,064 -Whee! (grunts) -("Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa playing) 2323 01:24:24,105 --> 01:24:25,440 (laughs) 2324 01:24:25,482 --> 01:24:27,817 Now we can make parents do whatever we want. 2325 01:24:27,859 --> 01:24:29,944 Awesome! Yeah! 2326 01:24:29,986 --> 01:24:32,906 No more rules. 2327 01:24:32,947 --> 01:24:35,617 Sayonara, Mama and Papa. 2328 01:24:35,658 --> 01:24:36,951 Yeah. 2329 01:24:36,993 --> 01:24:38,078 (babies laughing) 2330 01:24:38,119 --> 01:24:39,412 -Mom? -Dad? 2331 01:24:39,454 --> 01:24:40,413 Grandpa? 2332 01:24:40,455 --> 01:24:42,123 Whoa. Are you kidding me? 2333 01:24:42,165 --> 01:24:44,250 We need to shut it down before it goes global. 2334 01:24:44,292 --> 01:24:46,419 -ARMSTRONG: Yeah. (laughs) -What are we gonna do? 2335 01:24:46,461 --> 01:24:48,672 Okay, we need to find the big whatchamacallit 2336 01:24:48,713 --> 01:24:50,298 that controls the parents' phones. 2337 01:24:50,340 --> 01:24:51,841 -The server. -Yes. Yes. 2338 01:24:51,883 --> 01:24:54,010 Is there a big one of those whatsits at school? 2339 01:24:54,052 --> 01:24:55,595 Uh, let's see. 2340 01:24:55,637 --> 01:24:58,765 Well, servers get really hot, so you need air ducts. 2341 01:24:58,807 --> 01:25:00,100 TINA: Now you're thinking! 2342 01:25:00,141 --> 01:25:02,310 TABITHA: Which intersect at the acorn! 2343 01:25:02,352 --> 01:25:04,646 -A-plus! -Come on. 2344 01:25:04,688 --> 01:25:06,106 -This way. -(gasps) 2345 01:25:06,147 --> 01:25:08,358 Opportunity knocks. 2346 01:25:08,400 --> 01:25:10,944 First, we need to make a quick pit stop. 2347 01:25:10,985 --> 01:25:14,280 AUTOMATED VOICE (distorted): Your time has concluded. 2348 01:25:14,322 --> 01:25:16,449 -(both panting) -It looks like this is it, Tim. 2349 01:25:16,491 --> 01:25:18,785 Well, hey, at least we have 2350 01:25:18,827 --> 01:25:22,455 these last final precious moments together. 2351 01:25:23,665 --> 01:25:25,875 Precious. Precious! 2352 01:25:25,917 --> 01:25:28,336 (whistling) 2353 01:25:29,129 --> 01:25:30,880 -(whinnies) 2354 01:25:32,090 --> 01:25:35,135 -Oh, right. Precious. Precious! -(continues whistling) 2355 01:25:38,555 --> 01:25:40,682 -(Ted continues whistling) -(Tim sputtering) 2356 01:25:44,019 --> 01:25:46,438 (whistling and sputtering continue) 2357 01:25:47,939 --> 01:25:50,191 (banging on glass) 2358 01:25:55,739 --> 01:25:57,157 (both gasping) 2359 01:25:57,198 --> 01:25:58,783 (grunts) 2360 01:25:59,743 --> 01:26:00,910 (coughing) 2361 01:26:00,952 --> 01:26:01,911 (whinnies) 2362 01:26:01,953 --> 01:26:03,997 That's my girl. 2363 01:26:04,039 --> 01:26:05,165 Thank you. 2364 01:26:05,206 --> 01:26:07,167 (sputters, spits) 2365 01:26:07,208 --> 01:26:08,418 (gasps) Tina? 2366 01:26:08,460 --> 01:26:09,836 Tina, Tina, come in. It's Daddy. 2367 01:26:09,878 --> 01:26:12,213 Daddy! Listen, we have to shut down the server. 2368 01:26:12,255 --> 01:26:14,007 -It's in the acorn. -Whoa. 2369 01:26:14,049 --> 01:26:15,675 This is so weird. 2370 01:26:15,717 --> 01:26:16,968 I call shotgun. 2371 01:26:17,010 --> 01:26:18,053 Quick, to the acorn! 2372 01:26:18,094 --> 01:26:19,637 -TED: Hyah! -(neighing) 2373 01:26:20,805 --> 01:26:22,349 BOTH: Yeehaw! 2374 01:26:22,390 --> 01:26:24,184 Hold on to your chaps, pal. 2375 01:26:24,225 --> 01:26:25,268 -(ninja baby shouts) -Whoa! 2376 01:26:25,310 --> 01:26:27,562 (all whooping) 2377 01:26:30,899 --> 01:26:32,901 -(screams) -Oh, no! 2378 01:26:33,902 --> 01:26:36,029 Glue! (laughs) 2379 01:26:36,071 --> 01:26:38,531 Yah! Pixie dust! Aha. 2380 01:26:38,573 --> 01:26:39,949 -Yeah, baby. -Yes. -(whinnies) 2381 01:26:39,991 --> 01:26:42,285 (babbling) 2382 01:26:42,327 --> 01:26:43,912 (eerie chuckling) 2383 01:26:43,953 --> 01:26:45,830 (shouts) 2384 01:26:45,872 --> 01:26:47,791 (eerie chuckling) 2385 01:26:47,832 --> 01:26:49,209 Wha...? 2386 01:26:49,250 --> 01:26:51,419 CREEPY GIRL: Where'd I go? 2387 01:26:52,253 --> 01:26:54,547 -Whoa! -I like your pajamas. 2388 01:26:54,589 --> 01:26:55,423 (screams) 2389 01:26:55,465 --> 01:26:58,718 (ninja babies crying) 2390 01:26:58,760 --> 01:27:00,428 Where are you going? 2391 01:27:00,470 --> 01:27:01,888 -Hyah! -(whooping) 2392 01:27:01,930 --> 01:27:03,765 -Glue. -TED: I'm proud to be a yellow. 2393 01:27:03,807 --> 01:27:05,058 I like your pony. 2394 01:27:05,100 --> 01:27:06,101 (both scream) 2395 01:27:06,142 --> 01:27:07,394 Thank you. 2396 01:27:07,435 --> 01:27:09,396 -(crying) -ARMSTRONG (over radio): What? 2397 01:27:09,437 --> 01:27:12,315 Ah, ah, ah. No, no, no. 2398 01:27:14,025 --> 01:27:16,111 (whirring) 2399 01:27:16,152 --> 01:27:19,364 Now let's crack that big nut. (grunts) 2400 01:27:20,240 --> 01:27:22,534 Oh, no. It's about to go worldwide. 2401 01:27:22,575 --> 01:27:24,786 How are we gonna get up there? 2402 01:27:25,787 --> 01:27:27,497 -Really? -ARMSTRONG: Well, you got grit. 2403 01:27:27,539 --> 01:27:29,124 I'll give you that. 2404 01:27:29,165 --> 01:27:31,167 Gumption, even. Very admirable. 2405 01:27:31,209 --> 01:27:33,336 And yet, uh, annoying. 2406 01:27:33,378 --> 01:27:35,588 Quite annoying. Yeah. 2407 01:27:35,630 --> 01:27:38,174 I'm gonna have to, you know, uh, stop you. 2408 01:27:38,216 --> 01:27:39,426 Glue me, glue me, glue me. 2409 01:27:39,467 --> 01:27:40,969 Precious, sic him. 2410 01:27:41,011 --> 01:27:42,303 You're too little and too late. 2411 01:27:42,345 --> 01:27:44,431 -(clang) -Ah, ba-bad dog. 2412 01:27:44,472 --> 01:27:47,767 -Pets aren't allowed in school. -Aah! Precious! 2413 01:27:49,269 --> 01:27:50,937 And you, my pudgy protégé. 2414 01:27:50,979 --> 01:27:52,272 Go, go, go, go! Move! Move! 2415 01:27:52,313 --> 01:27:54,274 -I offered you the world. -(both yell) 2416 01:27:54,315 --> 01:27:55,734 -We could have been partners. -(groaning) 2417 01:27:55,775 --> 01:27:57,610 I've got something better than a partner. 2418 01:27:57,652 --> 01:27:59,696 -I have a brother. -Yeah! 2419 01:27:59,738 --> 01:28:01,906 -(grunts) Let go. -No, you let go. 2420 01:28:01,948 --> 01:28:04,117 Wow. Point taken. 2421 01:28:04,159 --> 01:28:05,827 What? What's going on? 2422 01:28:06,995 --> 01:28:09,205 (yelling) 2423 01:28:09,247 --> 01:28:10,457 Hey, that's my leisure suit. 2424 01:28:10,498 --> 01:28:11,875 It looks better on her. 2425 01:28:11,916 --> 01:28:13,376 Hands up, diapers down. 2426 01:28:13,418 --> 01:28:14,794 Things are about to get weird. 2427 01:28:14,836 --> 01:28:16,504 -Yeah, that's my girls! -(Ted laughs) 2428 01:28:16,546 --> 01:28:18,465 -That's really Dad? -Yep. 2429 01:28:18,506 --> 01:28:20,675 I said a lot of stuff to that kid. 2430 01:28:20,717 --> 01:28:22,469 Well, quite the family reunion. 2431 01:28:22,510 --> 01:28:23,928 Uh, the more the merrier. 2432 01:28:23,970 --> 01:28:26,097 -I say let's call your parents. -TIM: Oh, no. 2433 01:28:26,139 --> 01:28:27,474 (zombielike murmuring) 2434 01:28:27,515 --> 01:28:29,309 -Uh-oh. -Okay. 2435 01:28:29,351 --> 01:28:31,644 Mommy and Daddy, let's hug 'em-- to death. 2436 01:28:31,686 --> 01:28:33,563 Oh, don't worry about us. Get to the server. 2437 01:28:33,605 --> 01:28:35,482 -Go, Tina, go! -(whoops) 2438 01:28:35,523 --> 01:28:38,526 -(Armstrong stammering) -(Tina grunts, yells) 2439 01:28:38,568 --> 01:28:40,362 -Hey! -You got this, Tina. 2440 01:28:40,403 --> 01:28:41,738 Get down from there. 2441 01:28:41,780 --> 01:28:43,490 TED: Go for his lollies! 2442 01:28:43,531 --> 01:28:45,825 Never touch another man's pony. 2443 01:28:45,867 --> 01:28:46,910 (all grunt) 2444 01:28:46,951 --> 01:28:49,287 Here. Stick around. Stick around. 2445 01:28:49,329 --> 01:28:51,706 Uh, Tim, what do we do now?! 2446 01:28:51,748 --> 01:28:53,667 Don't move. Maybe they won't see us. 2447 01:28:53,708 --> 01:28:55,335 TED: They see us, Tim. They see us. 2448 01:28:55,377 --> 01:28:56,711 TIM: Did you move? I didn't move. 2449 01:28:56,753 --> 01:28:58,171 -TED: Really, Tim? -(grunting) 2450 01:28:58,213 --> 01:29:00,006 Oh. Hey, that's a little too high now. 2451 01:29:00,048 --> 01:29:02,842 Don't look down. Look straight ahead, okay? 2452 01:29:02,884 --> 01:29:04,719 (grunts, whimpers) 2453 01:29:04,761 --> 01:29:06,388 -(buzzer sounds) -It's locked. 2454 01:29:06,429 --> 01:29:08,181 Can I give you a hand? 2455 01:29:08,223 --> 01:29:09,474 Of course, I mean that facetiously, 2456 01:29:09,516 --> 01:29:12,185 because the hand acts as a... as a key. 2457 01:29:12,227 --> 01:29:13,520 No, no. No, no, no. 2458 01:29:13,561 --> 01:29:15,230 -Hey, hey. No, no, no, no. -Thanks, sis. 2459 01:29:15,271 --> 01:29:17,524 (grunts) Stay away from my server. 2460 01:29:17,565 --> 01:29:19,025 -(yells) -(grunts) 2461 01:29:19,067 --> 01:29:20,527 -Shut it down, Tabitha. -What are you doing? 2462 01:29:20,568 --> 01:29:22,445 What are you doing? No, no, no! No! 2463 01:29:22,487 --> 01:29:24,197 Don't do that. 2464 01:29:24,239 --> 01:29:25,573 -Oh, no! -(zombielike grunting) 2465 01:29:25,615 --> 01:29:27,200 -Hugs. -Hug Grandpa. 2466 01:29:27,242 --> 01:29:28,785 It's Night of the Living Boomers. 2467 01:29:28,827 --> 01:29:31,871 -Dad, stop! (screams) -ADULTS: Hugs. 2468 01:29:31,913 --> 01:29:32,956 (yells) 2469 01:29:32,997 --> 01:29:34,374 (grunts, gasps) 2470 01:29:34,416 --> 01:29:36,543 (groans) Back. Back, you little monsters. 2471 01:29:36,584 --> 01:29:38,962 -You back off, candy pants. -(yells, grunts) 2472 01:29:39,004 --> 01:29:40,130 (screams) 2473 01:29:40,171 --> 01:29:42,215 Ha! Got your nose. 2474 01:29:42,257 --> 01:29:43,591 (grunting) 2475 01:29:43,633 --> 01:29:46,052 Oh, right in the breadbasket! 2476 01:29:46,094 --> 01:29:48,221 (both grunting rapidly) 2477 01:29:48,263 --> 01:29:50,932 (both babbling) 2478 01:29:53,518 --> 01:29:54,769 -Ow! -Ha! 2479 01:29:54,811 --> 01:29:56,229 -Knocked his block off. -Ah, poopy. 2480 01:29:56,271 --> 01:29:58,064 Tina, I think I got it. Yes! 2481 01:29:58,106 --> 01:30:00,233 Don't hit that button. Don't hit that button. Aah! 2482 01:30:00,275 --> 01:30:02,068 Ow! Ooh! 2483 01:30:02,110 --> 01:30:04,779 -And... enter. -ARMSTRONG: No, no! Stop it! 2484 01:30:04,821 --> 01:30:06,823 -(screams) -Cut it out. (mutters) 2485 01:30:06,865 --> 01:30:09,617 -Look what you made me do. -(gasps) The fire alarm. 2486 01:30:09,659 --> 01:30:11,411 -ARMSTRONG: Darn it. -TABITHA: Dad! 2487 01:30:11,453 --> 01:30:13,788 Uncle Ted! Pull the fire alarm! 2488 01:30:13,830 --> 01:30:15,415 -The girls need help. -TED: No kissies! 2489 01:30:15,457 --> 01:30:17,709 The girls need us. (grunts) 2490 01:30:17,751 --> 01:30:20,545 -(alarm ringing) -(grunts) Time's up, halflings. 2491 01:30:20,587 --> 01:30:23,590 (sputters) Great galloping gargoyles! 2492 01:30:23,631 --> 01:30:27,093 -(Ted screaming) -WIZZIE: What? What? 2493 01:30:27,135 --> 01:30:29,346 Tim! Get to the fire alarm! 2494 01:30:29,387 --> 01:30:30,805 I'll hold them back. 2495 01:30:30,847 --> 01:30:33,099 TED: Make it rain, baby. 2496 01:30:33,141 --> 01:30:34,434 TIM: I'm on it. 2497 01:30:34,476 --> 01:30:35,894 What's the matter? 2498 01:30:35,935 --> 01:30:37,479 (voice cracks): You can't handle the awkward phase? 2499 01:30:37,520 --> 01:30:38,605 (whimpering) 2500 01:30:38,646 --> 01:30:40,982 Go, Marcos... uh, Dad. Go! 2501 01:30:41,024 --> 01:30:42,484 -(gasps) -I'm back! 2502 01:30:42,525 --> 01:30:43,985 -Here we go. -Come on. 2503 01:30:44,027 --> 01:30:46,112 How about another round, you tough guy? Come on! 2504 01:30:46,154 --> 01:30:47,530 Ow. Stop it. 2505 01:30:47,572 --> 01:30:48,948 I still got these. (grunting) 2506 01:30:48,990 --> 01:30:50,617 TABITHA: You put my sister down. 2507 01:30:50,658 --> 01:30:53,828 B-Day will happen, whether you like it or not. 2508 01:30:53,870 --> 01:30:56,122 -You shall not pass! -(zombielike murmuring) 2509 01:30:56,164 --> 01:30:58,041 Uh, you shall not pass. 2510 01:30:58,083 --> 01:30:59,751 No! Stop passing. 2511 01:30:59,793 --> 01:31:01,461 -(grunts) -(fire alarm ringing) 2512 01:31:01,503 --> 01:31:02,712 Yeah, Dad! 2513 01:31:02,754 --> 01:31:04,172 Way to go! (whoops) 2514 01:31:04,214 --> 01:31:06,299 -(alarm stops) -(Tabitha gasps) 2515 01:31:06,341 --> 01:31:07,884 TABITHA: That's it? 2516 01:31:07,926 --> 01:31:10,178 That's right. Why? What? The school's expensive. 2517 01:31:10,220 --> 01:31:13,306 -I had to cut costs someplace. -(both grunt) 2518 01:31:13,348 --> 01:31:14,474 Oh, no. It's not working. 2519 01:31:14,516 --> 01:31:15,642 Did you pull it right? 2520 01:31:15,684 --> 01:31:16,976 How else you gonna pull it? 2521 01:31:17,018 --> 01:31:19,020 ARMSTRONG (laughs): You'll see I'm right. 2522 01:31:19,062 --> 01:31:20,647 I'll show everybody. 2523 01:31:20,689 --> 01:31:23,817 The age of parents is over. 2524 01:31:23,858 --> 01:31:26,277 (babies cooing, murmuring) 2525 01:31:28,697 --> 01:31:31,157 ARMSTRONG: Yay, yay, yay. (sighs) 2526 01:31:31,199 --> 01:31:33,827 How about you watch me have a little toast? 2527 01:31:33,868 --> 01:31:37,122 To the baby revolution and to me. 2528 01:31:37,163 --> 01:31:38,581 (gasps) 2529 01:31:40,709 --> 01:31:42,627 -It's time for the candy volcano... -Mmm, mmm. 2530 01:31:42,669 --> 01:31:44,504 -Oh, that's good. -TABITHA and TINA: Of doom! 2531 01:31:44,546 --> 01:31:46,506 What are you doing? What are you doing? 2532 01:31:46,548 --> 01:31:48,008 No, no, no! No! 2533 01:31:48,049 --> 01:31:50,510 (yells) Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 2534 01:31:50,552 --> 01:31:52,178 -No, no, no. -Boom shakalaka? 2535 01:31:52,220 --> 01:31:53,847 -Boom! -Don't do that! 2536 01:31:53,888 --> 01:31:56,141 -(crackling, sizzling) -(screaming) 2537 01:31:56,182 --> 01:31:58,435 (both grunt) 2538 01:31:58,476 --> 01:32:00,729 -Whoa! -(screaming) 2539 01:32:00,770 --> 01:32:02,355 -(grunts) -TINA: Oh, no! 2540 01:32:02,397 --> 01:32:03,857 -Tabitha! -(Armstrong grunting) 2541 01:32:03,898 --> 01:32:04,858 (grunts) 2542 01:32:04,899 --> 01:32:06,735 No! Someone help me, please! 2543 01:32:06,776 --> 01:32:08,695 Tabitha, hang on! 2544 01:32:08,737 --> 01:32:11,031 Ted, I need upsies-- now. 2545 01:32:11,072 --> 01:32:12,782 (both grunt) 2546 01:32:12,824 --> 01:32:15,785 -(yelps, grunts) -(Tabitha screaming) 2547 01:32:17,537 --> 01:32:19,205 Dad, help me! 2548 01:32:19,247 --> 01:32:20,331 Look at you. 2549 01:32:20,373 --> 01:32:22,208 You're smart. You're strong. 2550 01:32:22,250 --> 01:32:23,543 You don't need parents. 2551 01:32:23,585 --> 01:32:25,587 What can they possibly offer you? 2552 01:32:25,628 --> 01:32:28,048 -How about unconditional love? -(gasps, yells) 2553 01:32:28,089 --> 01:32:29,799 -That's what. -No, no, no. No. 2554 01:32:29,841 --> 01:32:32,010 -Sayonara. -No, no, no. No. (screams) 2555 01:32:33,595 --> 01:32:36,222 -(grunts) -(Armstrong screams, whimpers) 2556 01:32:36,264 --> 01:32:37,599 TIM: Tabitha! 2557 01:32:37,640 --> 01:32:39,392 (strained grunting) 2558 01:32:39,434 --> 01:32:41,353 (yells) 2559 01:32:41,394 --> 01:32:43,021 -I'm gonna fall! -Tabitha! 2560 01:32:43,063 --> 01:32:44,230 Hang on! 2561 01:32:44,272 --> 01:32:45,607 (screams) 2562 01:32:45,648 --> 01:32:47,942 I got you. I got you. 2563 01:32:47,984 --> 01:32:49,778 (both sigh) 2564 01:32:49,819 --> 01:32:52,030 I got you, Tabitha. 2565 01:32:52,072 --> 01:32:54,657 (panting) 2566 01:32:54,699 --> 01:32:56,618 I got you. 2567 01:32:56,659 --> 01:32:59,162 That's my big brother. 2568 01:32:59,954 --> 01:33:02,957 Thanks, Marcos Lightspeed. 2569 01:33:05,001 --> 01:33:06,628 Mwah. 2570 01:33:07,462 --> 01:33:09,464 I thought we both had to grow up. 2571 01:33:09,506 --> 01:33:11,925 Well, let's not grow up too fast. 2572 01:33:11,966 --> 01:33:13,426 (sighs) 2573 01:33:13,468 --> 01:33:14,844 I love you, Dad. 2574 01:33:14,886 --> 01:33:16,763 I love you, Tabitha Templeton. 2575 01:33:16,805 --> 01:33:18,973 Aw. You see that? 2576 01:33:19,015 --> 01:33:21,267 And you wanted to take it all away. 2577 01:33:21,309 --> 01:33:22,769 -Where you going? -Home. 2578 01:33:22,811 --> 01:33:25,647 You know, Doc, childhood doesn't last forever, 2579 01:33:25,689 --> 01:33:27,524 but family sure does. 2580 01:33:27,565 --> 01:33:29,275 Uncle Ted! Heads up! 2581 01:33:29,317 --> 01:33:31,069 -(screams, grunts) -Woo-hoo! 2582 01:33:31,111 --> 01:33:33,446 We win! Get ready to order some pizzas. 2583 01:33:33,488 --> 01:33:35,740 (Ted chuckling) 2584 01:33:42,706 --> 01:33:44,290 (babies gasping) 2585 01:33:44,332 --> 01:33:45,917 (cheering) 2586 01:33:45,959 --> 01:33:47,043 Woo-hoo! 2587 01:33:47,085 --> 01:33:49,212 -(squeals) -Cool! (laughs) 2588 01:33:50,338 --> 01:33:52,507 -(gasps) -(murmuring) 2589 01:33:52,549 --> 01:33:54,551 (Wizzie laughing) 2590 01:33:54,592 --> 01:33:57,012 Huzzah! (laughs) 2591 01:33:57,053 --> 01:33:59,097 Huzzah! 2592 01:34:01,349 --> 01:34:03,601 -(sighs, grunts) -(applause) 2593 01:34:03,643 --> 01:34:05,895 (cheering) 2594 01:34:08,189 --> 01:34:09,566 Oh, sweet. 2595 01:34:09,607 --> 01:34:11,651 He who findeth keepeth. 2596 01:34:11,693 --> 01:34:13,153 (clears throat) 2597 01:34:13,194 --> 01:34:14,237 (kids cheering) 2598 01:34:14,279 --> 01:34:17,699 Mommy, Daddy, I missed you so much. 2599 01:34:17,741 --> 01:34:20,118 Ooh, ooh, ooh. Yay! 2600 01:34:20,160 --> 01:34:21,327 Junior! 2601 01:34:21,369 --> 01:34:23,121 -Glue! -(Jimbo yelps) 2602 01:34:23,163 --> 01:34:25,248 So soft. 2603 01:34:25,290 --> 01:34:26,708 Where are we going? 2604 01:34:26,750 --> 01:34:28,001 Not bad, Templetons. 2605 01:34:28,043 --> 01:34:29,753 Woo-hoo! Yay, Templetons. 2606 01:34:29,794 --> 01:34:31,254 Yeah, mission accomplished. 2607 01:34:31,296 --> 01:34:34,424 And as a bonus, we stopped Armstrong, too. 2608 01:34:34,466 --> 01:34:35,967 -Huh? -What? 2609 01:34:36,009 --> 01:34:38,845 My real mission was getting you two back together. 2610 01:34:38,887 --> 01:34:41,681 -A-plus! See me after class. -(Tabitha chuckles) 2611 01:34:41,723 --> 01:34:43,433 Wait, so you never actually quit? 2612 01:34:43,475 --> 01:34:44,684 -Nope. -Huh. 2613 01:34:44,726 --> 01:34:45,852 Well played. 2614 01:34:45,894 --> 01:34:47,187 I don't like to mix the two, 2615 01:34:47,228 --> 01:34:48,730 but I will say it was never business. 2616 01:34:48,772 --> 01:34:50,273 It was always personal. 2617 01:34:50,315 --> 01:34:51,649 You know what, kid? 2618 01:34:51,691 --> 01:34:53,943 You're the best boss I ever had. 2619 01:34:53,985 --> 01:34:55,570 -Thank you, chief. -(Tabitha chuckles) 2620 01:34:55,612 --> 01:34:57,197 CAROL: Tim! You actually made it. 2621 01:34:57,238 --> 01:34:59,407 -Yeah. -I mean, I knew you'd make it. 2622 01:34:59,449 --> 01:35:01,076 -Teddy. -Teddy, you're here. 2623 01:35:01,117 --> 01:35:03,244 -And look what you're wearing. -Uh... 2624 01:35:03,286 --> 01:35:05,205 Sweetheart, I cried. 2625 01:35:05,246 --> 01:35:06,373 Then I went blank. 2626 01:35:06,414 --> 01:35:08,166 Oh, come on. Every-Everyone get together. 2627 01:35:08,208 --> 01:35:10,043 This... We got to get this. Here we go. 2628 01:35:10,085 --> 01:35:11,711 -Dad, no! -No! -What? 2629 01:35:11,753 --> 01:35:13,213 (camera clicks) 2630 01:35:13,254 --> 01:35:14,339 (guitar playing) 2631 01:35:14,381 --> 01:35:15,632 TABITHA: * We know that * 2632 01:35:15,674 --> 01:35:17,509 * Divided we'll fall * 2633 01:35:17,550 --> 01:35:22,931 * So together we stand * 2634 01:35:24,933 --> 01:35:27,727 * We know that divided we'll fall * 2635 01:35:27,769 --> 01:35:29,437 (camera clicks) 2636 01:35:29,479 --> 01:35:35,235 * So together we stand. * 2637 01:35:35,276 --> 01:35:37,112 -Yay, Tabitha! -That was beautiful! 2638 01:35:37,153 --> 01:35:39,114 -The crowd goes wild! -(Tina laughing) 2639 01:35:39,155 --> 01:35:41,408 (chuckles) Thank you. Thank you. 2640 01:35:41,449 --> 01:35:42,742 -(whinnies) -Aah! 2641 01:35:42,784 --> 01:35:44,411 Aw, hey, Precious. 2642 01:35:44,452 --> 01:35:45,787 (chuckles) You're amazing. 2643 01:35:45,829 --> 01:35:47,664 Oh, I wish Teddy could have been here. 2644 01:35:47,706 --> 01:35:49,749 Yeah, I know. Me, too. 2645 01:35:49,791 --> 01:35:51,584 -(doorbell rings) -(gasps) 2646 01:35:51,626 --> 01:35:53,461 -Hmm. -(squealing) 2647 01:35:55,630 --> 01:35:57,257 Hey, I was just... 2648 01:36:03,930 --> 01:36:05,890 TED: Merry Christmas, Tim. 2649 01:36:05,932 --> 01:36:08,101 I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you, 2650 01:36:08,143 --> 01:36:10,437 but please enjoy this 2651 01:36:10,478 --> 01:36:13,148 inappropriately lavish gift instead. 2652 01:36:18,820 --> 01:36:22,115 You've given me the greatest gift of all. 2653 01:36:22,157 --> 01:36:23,825 -You. -(chuckles) 2654 01:36:23,867 --> 01:36:27,287 Love, the best brother in the world. 2655 01:36:27,328 --> 01:36:29,622 P.S. Duck. 2656 01:36:29,664 --> 01:36:31,458 (shouts) 2657 01:36:31,499 --> 01:36:34,127 (groaning, spitting) 2658 01:36:34,169 --> 01:36:35,462 In your face, Leslie! 2659 01:36:35,503 --> 01:36:37,255 (chuckling): Hey. Oh, it is on, Lindsey! 2660 01:36:37,297 --> 01:36:39,758 -No. No, no, no, no. Don't, don't, don't. -Come here! 2661 01:36:39,799 --> 01:36:40,967 I'm younger than you. 2662 01:36:41,009 --> 01:36:42,385 You're a bigger target. 2663 01:36:42,427 --> 01:36:43,970 -(laughs) I got you so good! -(Ted grunts) 2664 01:36:44,012 --> 01:36:45,472 -(laughing) -TED: No, you didn't. 2665 01:36:45,513 --> 01:36:46,806 Aah! You missed me! 2666 01:36:46,848 --> 01:36:48,475 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 2667 01:36:48,516 --> 01:36:49,893 -Ambush. -Exactly. 2668 01:36:49,934 --> 01:36:51,353 -TIM: Ow! -TED: Sneak attack! 2669 01:36:51,394 --> 01:36:53,480 Oh, isn't it great to see them fighting again? 2670 01:36:53,521 --> 01:36:54,814 (sighs) Finally. 2671 01:36:54,856 --> 01:36:56,483 (toy phone ringing) 2672 01:36:57,817 --> 01:36:59,527 Shouldn't you pick up? 2673 01:36:59,569 --> 01:37:01,488 Nah, we got some family business. 2674 01:37:01,529 --> 01:37:03,031 Woo-hoo! Yeah! 2675 01:37:03,073 --> 01:37:05,200 -(Carol gasps) -(ringing continues) 2676 01:37:07,786 --> 01:37:10,372 CHILD (on phone): Tina, we have another assignment for you. 2677 01:37:10,413 --> 01:37:12,123 (gasps, whispers): I'm listening. 2678 01:37:12,165 --> 01:37:14,167 JANICE: Grandma's coming in hot! 2679 01:37:14,209 --> 01:37:16,753 -You want some of Grandpa? -Everyone, get Tagalong Teddy! 2680 01:37:16,795 --> 01:37:18,505 -TIM: It's true. -Gotcha! 2681 01:37:18,546 --> 01:37:20,215 You can't stop time. 2682 01:37:20,256 --> 01:37:22,592 But every once in a while, you get a second chance. 2683 01:37:22,634 --> 01:37:24,386 -TABITHA: I'm gonna get you! -(Precious neighs) 2684 01:37:24,427 --> 01:37:26,054 TIM: So, even though you're only a kid once... 2685 01:37:26,096 --> 01:37:27,889 well, unless you get to be a kid twice, 2686 01:37:27,931 --> 01:37:30,141 which is really weird, to be honest, 2687 01:37:30,183 --> 01:37:33,144 but the point is you have to grow up sometime. 2688 01:37:33,186 --> 01:37:35,397 -(Wizzie laughing) -(camera clicks) 2689 01:37:35,438 --> 01:37:38,149 And you should always be nice to your brother. 2690 01:37:38,191 --> 01:37:40,235 TINA: Ah, that was really sweet, Daddy. 2691 01:37:40,276 --> 01:37:42,112 That'll be great for my report. 2692 01:37:42,153 --> 01:37:44,322 TIM: Okay, so... so that's it, then. 2693 01:37:44,364 --> 01:37:47,075 TINA: Well, actually, there's one more little thing. 2694 01:37:59,879 --> 01:38:01,464 (door opens) 2695 01:38:02,590 --> 01:38:04,634 Mama? Papa? 2696 01:38:04,676 --> 01:38:05,969 DAD: Wha... 2697 01:38:06,011 --> 01:38:09,097 -(gasps) Oh, my son. -(mom gasping) 2698 01:38:09,139 --> 01:38:11,558 -(dad sobbing) -(mom laughing) 2699 01:38:11,599 --> 01:38:13,685 MOM: You came home. 2700 01:38:13,727 --> 01:38:15,729 TIM: Oh, yeah. Right. 2701 01:38:15,770 --> 01:38:17,564 TINA: Okay, Pops. Now. 2702 01:38:17,605 --> 01:38:19,858 TIM: The end. 2703 01:38:19,899 --> 01:38:23,111 ("Together We Stand" playing) 2704 01:38:31,911 --> 01:38:34,164 (children's chorus vocalizing) 2705 01:39:15,663 --> 01:39:18,458 TABITHA: * Catch my eye * 2706 01:39:18,500 --> 01:39:21,252 * Take my hand * 2707 01:39:21,294 --> 01:39:26,633 * This bond is tighter than we ever planned * 2708 01:39:26,675 --> 01:39:29,052 * Give me courage * 2709 01:39:29,094 --> 01:39:31,429 * So I can land * 2710 01:39:31,471 --> 01:39:35,016 * We know that divided we'll fall * 2711 01:39:35,058 --> 01:39:39,104 * So together we stand * 2712 01:39:40,188 --> 01:39:42,774 * Climb with me * 2713 01:39:42,816 --> 01:39:45,819 * Share my dreams * 2714 01:39:45,860 --> 01:39:47,612 * Tomorrow's brighter * 2715 01:39:47,654 --> 01:39:50,907 * Than it's ever been * 2716 01:39:50,949 --> 01:39:53,660 * Fear no danger * 2717 01:39:53,702 --> 01:39:56,037 * Make big plans * 2718 01:39:56,079 --> 01:39:59,708 * We know that divided we'll fall * 2719 01:39:59,749 --> 01:40:04,629 * So together we stand * 2720 01:40:04,671 --> 01:40:07,799 * Laugh and cry with me * 2721 01:40:07,841 --> 01:40:10,051 * Fly that high with me * 2722 01:40:10,093 --> 01:40:13,013 * See the sunset and the sunrise * 2723 01:40:13,054 --> 01:40:15,724 * The world looks so good through our eyes * 2724 01:40:15,765 --> 01:40:17,600 * Like the moon * 2725 01:40:17,642 --> 01:40:19,811 * And stars at night * 2726 01:40:21,062 --> 01:40:23,815 * Rest your head * 2727 01:40:23,857 --> 01:40:26,526 * Tell me your thoughts * 2728 01:40:26,568 --> 01:40:29,779 * Everything I have and call mine * 2729 01:40:29,821 --> 01:40:31,948 * Is all yours * 2730 01:40:31,990 --> 01:40:34,743 * Sail that ocean * 2731 01:40:34,784 --> 01:40:37,203 * Find that sand * 2732 01:40:37,245 --> 01:40:40,707 * We know that divided we'll fall * 2733 01:40:40,749 --> 01:40:45,045 * So together we stand * 2734 01:40:45,086 --> 01:40:47,339 (children's chorus vocalizing) 2735 01:41:04,731 --> 01:41:07,275 * Reach with me * 2736 01:41:07,317 --> 01:41:10,362 * See the sky * 2737 01:41:10,403 --> 01:41:15,575 * I'll always be here for the rest of your life * 2738 01:41:15,617 --> 01:41:18,286 * Side by side * 2739 01:41:18,328 --> 01:41:20,914 * Hand in hand * 2740 01:41:20,955 --> 01:41:26,670 * We speak a language no one else can understand * 2741 01:41:26,711 --> 01:41:29,172 * Hear those cheers * 2742 01:41:29,214 --> 01:41:31,633 * Strike up the band * 2743 01:41:31,675 --> 01:41:35,053 * We know that divided we'll fall * 2744 01:41:35,095 --> 01:41:40,600 * So together we stand * 2745 01:41:42,310 --> 01:41:44,145 * We know that * 2746 01:41:44,187 --> 01:41:46,773 * Divided we'll fall * 2747 01:41:46,815 --> 01:41:53,988 * So together we stand. * 2748 01:41:54,030 --> 01:41:56,825 Follow IG: @official_rebahin 2749 01:42:16,344 --> 01:42:18,638 (chorus vocalizing) 2750 01:47:10,972 --> 01:47:12,974 (music fades)